world's latest Christmas special: world's smallest Atari thing

It's the end of the year, and you know what that means. Toyotathon is on. Also, Christmas. That happened as well. So here's a really tiny Atari. I don't have a better segue. It's brought to us by our good friends at Super Impulse. And it includes ten games. Or nine. No, nine Atari games. And then I guess Pac-Man isn't an Atari game. It's also the world's smallest. Uh. Got nine original Atari games, plus bonus game Pac-Man. Let's round the side here. High resolution classic console TV. Well, I don't know why you'd need it to be high resolution. Classic 2600 console. Iconic 2600 joystick. Can't. Oh, I scratched the box. Okay. Jesus Christ, they're really trying to. They're really pushing it here. This seems very much like bullshit being spat out by them. Uh. More games, more fun. I don't. Was there an older model with previous games? Licensed by, who was it? Licensed by Namco. Whom I don't think are Atari. Last I checked. Not going to even begin to work out what deal that is. Lots of battery safety information. Oh, it's because of Pac-Man. Copyright 2024 Atari. So. These guys are making a brand new Atari console, and they're also licensing this. How to change the batteries. You put the batteries in. Made in China, Shenzhen. That's a weird way. Pronounce that wrong, didn't I? It's a weird way to, um, order that. It's brought to us by Super Impulse. Whom, again, I have never heard of. I suppose they're the world's smallest guys, aren't they? That would make sense. I haven't taken this out of its box before. I got the seal prematurely for filming purposes. Oh, there's a thing inside here. What is this? Collect them all. Oh my god, it's a tiny catalog full of little things. We'll look at this in a sec. Because I hate my fan base. And I want to torture them with little tiny objects. How do you get this out? There we go. Slides out here. We've got an 80s floor that we can play it on, I suppose. And then we have to get it out somehow, I suppose. I feel like this is far, far too much plastic to be needed. Like, if I were to get the equivalent Technosource bootleg Atari from 2004, or whenever. I mean, it wouldn't really look like an Atari, but it would maybe be more playable. You know, the screen isn't tiny and all that. Please let me in. Okay, there we go. But, you know, it wouldn't be like this. Oh my god, there's more fucking... I have to cut through all of this tape to get the goddamn things out. This is insane. This is not good packaging. I get that you don't want your things to be stolen, but Jesus Christ. This is ridiculous. There's a difference between not wanting your things to be stolen and not wanting your packages to be opened. There's a line somewhere, and we've definitely crossed it. And we haven't even opened... We haven't even gotten to the part where we're actually taking out the product yet. And preparing to do so. Well, there's one. I have time to do that two more times. Varying degrees of success. Keep in mind, I don't... This doesn't even guarantee that this will work. It is fully possible that there is something else also preventing... ...this thing from coming out. Other... ...thing. Cut through it. I'm stripping up all the tape now that you don't care anymore. This is... It's impossible to make a package like this and then not have it get destroyed while people try to open it. Right? Like, if you were trying, I would try as well. Now I have to do the same thing to the bottom. No, wait, do I? Do I? Does this bit just come up? I hope to God this bit just comes up. It comes up, but it does it in the most unwieldy fashion possible. Here we go. I've broken everything. I didn't want to do that, but I did. I'm sure we'll be having a peek inside of this as well. Respectfully, no giant rocks. I'm not like, ahem, other YouTubers. Yes, you know who I'm jabbing at. Yes, you know these jabs aren't subtle. I don't care. Oh, they've got a little, uh, a little... This is actually quite nice. They don't give you batteries in it, because they're mean. Uh, but... I suppose this is how you adjust the screen, isn't it, yeah? If your real-life, old-fashioned, tube-tubey TV does that, you're in big trouble. Um... Let's see, oh, no, they do give us batteries. It's more of a tab, isn't it? You got... I'm not entirely sure what this is meant to be. I'd assume it's a, uh... Oh, yeah, this is an RF switch. It's got lots of knobs on the side. I don't remember them being nearly this big, or having this many strange buttons and periphery on the side. They'll do correct me if I am wrong. These wires look like shoelaces. If I knew any better, I didn't think they'd work. This is probably how you switch games, right? You push on the power figure, don't you? Do these switches work? This one's set to off, currently. Can I turn it on? They all seem to be... molded in place, which means that this console is currently... permanently stuck off. Oh, there's a little... little... little peeler here that I can peel. It also looks like the O in the word on is a zero. I don't know if that's just because of the font they used, or... it's because of the fact that the O in the word on is a zero. Here's your little clicky fire button, which is far too clicky. Here's your... This is just a D-pad. This is not... this does not feel good, so far. I mean, I guess that it's not meant to feel good, it's meant to be the world's smallest Atari 2600, but still. Oh, let's put it on the bottom of the TV. I feel like they should've made this a functional switch. I feel like they would've had room to do that. I don't know, maybe they wouldn't have. Maybe that would've required lots of money. Awaken! Wait, Milan did something. I didn't get to see it. Powering off. Yeah, you do that. Super Impulse presents the world's smallest... Copyright 2021. How long have they been making these for? I guess we'd better zoom in, shall we? Oh, this is what they consider high resolution, alright. Press to start. Press what? Oh, the button. Hold on, my iPad's dying, I need to go get a... Could you stare at this for a second? Let's see. Alright, I guess we're just gonna have to pray this thing doesn't die on me while I'm recording my important YouTube video. I'm gonna stop and restart recording every so often to make sure that what is saved is saved. A small groove on this power thing holding the chair is what is keeping my charging equipment reliably in place right now. Found an extension cord. Normally I'd use my little battery, but that's dead. Because I was charging the iPad with it like a couple of minutes earlier and it was full and it used up all its juice and I was like, okay, it's full and it's used up all its juice. We're probably good to go filming and now it's at 4%, so... I need to get the battery in this thing in place, evidently. Right, so... The thing also had sort of bent prongs on it which I don't know if that meant to be an indication that I shouldn't plug it in because it'll explode. Well, I'd hope it wasn't. I don't want to die. The console has either run out of battery, turned itself off or run out of battery and turned itself off simultaneously. Let's try flipping our little switch here and getting it back on. It is, in fact, alive. That very fast blinking, which seems like it's sort of a video game console equivalent of screaming at me. Stop that. This is what you get to deal with when you've got the world's smallest Atari 2600 Tiny Arcade plus the bonus game, Pac-Man. Well, let's play Pac-Man, shall we? It's a bonus game. That's a great noise. Are we Pac-Man? Yes, we are there. We got out. Alright, Pac-Man is dead. Let's see. What's his deal? Now he's really dead. Pretty sure this was not the title screen of the original Atari 2600 version of Pac-Man. The original Atari 2600 version of Pac-Man actually did not have a title screen because Atari 2600 games did not have title screens. I promise you there are dots that he is eating. I can see them, you cannot see them on the camera. That is a you problem. Let's eat one of those cherries, shall we? We can actually move in the right. This is a shit maze. I mean, I imagine the whole point of Pac-Man is that the mazes are meant to be hard to get through. This is ridiculous. I'd have added the input out loud, I miss it so bad. Oh, and now we can't see what the ghosts are. Did I get one? Did it just run out? I feel like that was a really stupidly short time for that power-up to last. What is going on with the... What? What was that? They teleport now. Well, they're ghosts, I imagine. Alright, so my high score is 165 on whatever version of Pac-Man this is. Try and beat that. You probably won't because you don't own this console. Yeah, that button just takes us back to the main menu, which is the most confusing and annoying spot to put a reset button. I just pushed a button! Fuck you! Okay, that turns it back on, thankfully. Yeah, push the thing. You can see why people like Famiclones. There's a formula, and they've sort of got it, and these guys very much have not. Push Start, alright. Yeah, it's asteroids on a tiny screen that you can barely see. There's a certain novelty aspect to this, which... Oh, I can just do that. You can win at asteroids. They didn't really think this game through very well, did they? Alright, let's reset before this joke gets ruined by an asteroid hitting me. Breakouts. Several breakouts. Why do you move the joystick up to go down and down to go up? I am moving down. Now I am moving up. Alright. Option. Just the one. The singular option. You know what? They were correct. That was one option. No, you lied! There were multiple options. Why is Option more colorful than Start? Do they not want me to play this game? Are they worried it's going to be bad? I think their worries were that I'm not moving. Normally it launches from the paddle, doesn't it? So you actually know where the damn thing is. Was that the paddle speed? Did the paddle... Was the paddle speed slow? Did I choose Slow Paddle Speed? Because that's what this is. This is Slow Paddle Speed. Slow Aim Jittery. I feel like this is the... I know this is the Atari 2600, but I feel like they could have done a bit better. I mean, I'm not complaining about that last one where it bounced off the side of the paddle there. I'm not complaining about that. But aside from that, they could have done a bit better. Okay, scratch that. Maybe this is great and the best version of Breakdown I've ever played. I do have to paddle. Return to the menu. Centipede. That's never not going to trip me up. It's Centipede for the Atari 2600. People don't know what to expect. You'll see pretty much what the game is now if I'm able to play it. Yeah, it's just this, really. Just sort of boop, booping. Oh. Now it's going back up, and now I can just... Okay. That was Centipede on the Atari 2600, on the world's smallest Atari 2600. Tiny Arcade. It's optional bonus game, Pac-Man. It's not optional, is it? I mean, it's optional, but you don't have to play it, I hope. Um, but... Again, do not understand the deal with giving things title screens and main menus when I feel like you could, they're purr-perfectfully, purr-perfectfully invented a new word, perfectly usable switches on the main doinkle that you could just use. I feel like... Like, I feel like it wouldn't be that hard if the switches were okay. Well, I'm evidently the one that's spinning around, aren't I? This is awfully slow-paced. I don't know if it's because this is an Atari 2600 game, or if it's because this is a very badly programmed version of an Atari 2600 game. I feel like the frame rates on the 2600 weren't this bad. Why do they go over there when I shoot them? Millipede. It's like Centipede, but different. Copyright Atari 2019. I've seen three different copyright dates so far. None of them check out. Yeah, it's like Centipede 2. It's like, it's like Centipede, but with more P. I don't know what that means. I don't want to know what that means, actually. Okay. They get down into the part where they're not supposed to get down into. Yeah, I suppose they did, didn't they? Right, that's the bad bit. Missile command. I'm not even going to bother figuring the thing out at this point. Yeah, oh, Jesus Christ, that's going to give someone a seizure. Or, maybe would if someone wasn't about as tiny as an ant. That's the ant on the package. The deal here is that you're meant to, you're meant to not do that. You're meant to do this. Sort of blow up in the face of the missiles. Not let that happen. That's bad, you don't want that. That generally means that you fail this missile command or the missiles hit the thing that they're supposed to hit. Unless they're your missiles, in which case you succeed. Again, the singular option. No, they were right on this one. This one was the singular option. Right, Pong. It's fucking, it's Pong. If you ever want to play Pong on a real, real tiny screen with confusing, or not confusing, but just generally cramped controls. Then, uh, you can get thumby. Don't get this. Fire button does nothing. Tempest. There we go, two of these. Tempest. Ooh, fancy. Wasn't this a vector game originally? I really don't feel like this is something the Atari 2600 could handle. Like, even remotely. This is how you win Tempest, I've decided. Smallest fully functional desktop console game. Do you have a source on that? But, um, I've realized this says, or it might say, I think it says. Uh, yeah. Nine original Atari games. Does not, in fact, specify that they are 2600 games. So these may be games from a completely different Atari system. Oh, yep. Forgot this map. Warlords. Right, let's, let's play that one, shall we? What? Oh, oh, we're doing it. Okay. How do I, how do I make things happen? I've got a, I've got a fire button. Oh, I'm meant to bat him back around, aren't I? The fire button doesn't do shit. You're sort of, sort of like reverse Breakout, I guess. You've got a little paddle and you move it around, but you want to stop things from hitting the thing. Instead of making things hit the things. Well, I suppose you do sort of want to make your thing hit the other person's thing. You want to make it hit. I think this game is frying my brain. Alright. And, uh, and we're back around to Pac-Man. Alright, that was a fun, interesting look into whatever this was. Let's, uh, take it apart. Have a look on the insides. This is, this is just the controller. There's nothing interesting in here. This is just going to be a straight pass-through because this isn't a switch. It's not a real switch. So, may as well look at this, which I suspect is just a button. I'll be back when I've done that. It's a button. Right, it's, uh, it's 1 AM. I believe all the Toyota dealerships are closed at this hour, so here's a small addendum in which I go through the little bit of paper that I promised I said I would. Which, as you may know, I very rarely go through the little bit of paper that I promise I will, but I'm doing it this time. Here's, yeah, we got Hungry Hungry Hippos and Digi-Games. Er, not Digi-Games, Board Games. Noise Guns. World's Smallest Hot Wheels. Bop It. Giga-Pets, out of all things. Very specific springing of, um, Digi-Tamagotchi. Made by, uh, Tiger Electronics, the Furby guys. Who, you know, later sort of improved on the Tamagotchi idea with the Furby. But, I guess they had to rip it off first to get their bearings. Waterfalls, which are like those little tiny water games, except for the fact that they only have one button and they're really tiny. Well, the normal ones aren't, they're fucking massive. These are the world's smallest ones, so I'd expect them to be the world's smallest. Tiny Arcade and Micro Arcade things from people. Don't know if any of these will be more interesting. A very small rock. It's just a, they're just selling you a pebble. Alright. Cool. Squid Game figures. Figures? Why do they have figures? What are these called? It says they've got a name and I can't read it because this is the world's smallest template. Pop Taters. Oh my god, they're little Mr. Potato Heads. Get a tiny keychain Mr. Potato Head. Hatsune Miku. Oh my god, there's more in the back. It just looks like it's more of the same. You don't need to see all of this. So that revelation has shocked me enough. I'm gonna go to bed and then I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll buy a Toyota. Take a peek inside of the actual guts of the console. It's really only about as big as the screen. It all fits in the screen portion. There's a little blob. Got all the stuff on it. I imagine there's a flash chip in here somewhere. Strange dodgy wiring. I don't know what this is. It's weird. Tiny speaker battery compartmental stuff. What I do find neat is that there's a little flap that hinges in here. Kind of ruined by the fact that the speaker was in this massive enclosure though. But I'll throw this back together. Sorry I haven't been videoing that much. I've been very sick and then Christmas happened. And now Toyotathon is happening so expect me to be out for a bit more while I buy a Toyota.