I Can't Believe It's Not UPRS!

Welcome to what I'm calling, I can't believe it's not UPRS. Like the brand of fake butter. Uh. Games on pens. We've got some. We're gonna scream at them today. Uh, these were at Goodwill. In a little bag. Just found them in the electronics section. Oh god, there's a tab. Oh god, these are gonna have batteries in them. Oh no. Yeah, these were just, uh, they look to be fairly mint. Hopefully I'm not gonna destroy the packaging opening them. Uh. But we have Microgames digital slots. And then also. Um, Microgames digital blackjack. Uh. You can see they've sort of. Sort of peeped out on the molding here. Spots for the other buttons. They're not very much there. Uh, and their model numbers are 13007 and 13008. So they are right next to each other. I'm gonna start with slots because that one's got the lower model number. I suppose there must have been something else that utilized all. Five buttons. Um, before this. Otherwise it wouldn't make sense to have them. Or maybe they had them both planned out and they were just arbitrarily assigned model numbers for no real reason. That sounds about right. Hopefully. We can take this out of its packaging without too much hassle. Now. There are pen-shaped video game pop stations. Which is also the name of my band. Very, very careful here. So we can get this. At least back in a presentable state. That's box. Um. But this is not one of them. As far as I am aware. There is no recorded evidence of any of these sorts of things being. Any of the games that are on here being pop station games. It is very possible that they are some sort of custom order thing and they do run pop station hardware. I would not doubt it. Until we know for sure. However, we shall say these are not pop stations. I have to pull this out now. How do I get it out? How do I take it out? How does this come out? Okay, there we go. We've got it. Have we got it? There's a little. Why? Clearly this strategy is very barely working. For a. Opening the box. So. I have to try a different strategy. For the next one. But. All that matters is that we have just barely made it. Right under the buzzer. But we've got it out. And. We have not horrifically destroyed the packaging. We can still sort of. There we go. Good as new. Can't tell. So. Doesn't look like there's a tab in here. Which is good. This is. This is good. This is horrible plastic. This is good plastic and by good I mean horrible. There's the pen part of it. Is it a functional pen? Can I draw on my hand with it? No. Pen is very much not with us anymore. Stylus China. Well I'd imagine that's where the rest of the thing is made too. Does it say? Made in China. Yeah I don't. Oh no. Stylus is the name of the company. I was confused because. I'd imagine the whole thing was made in China but. I was like. Is the rest of the thing made somewhere else? No. It's all China. It's just made by Stylus in China. Apparently. There's a little piezo speaker in the video. Quite an interesting. This is not like a thing that peels off the screen. This is like drawn onto the plastic. This bit keeps coming out. Every time I put it in it falls back out. Sit and stay. Right. It has come to my attention that I do not have a screwdriver. Nor do I have any batteries to put in this thing. So we're going to do that. Find it first. Right I've not got a screwdriver. But I do have a screwdriver bit. So that'll work. So that'll have to do. Batteries. I'd imagine they're these little tiny coin type dealios. Which I think I got some of. LR44s. I sure hope they are. Otherwise we won't be able to make this darn video. Okay. But a little bit of rambling while I undo the battery compartment here. Because it can't be one of these videos without rambling. So there's a. Oh no. There is a battery in there. Please do not have exploded and leaked your juices all over everything. Oh no. Okay. Let's hope that's in a good enough state to function. Thankfully. These are LR44s. They're impossible to get out of the packaging. Like I've. Almost broken my thumb. Okay there we go. And then when you do get them out they fly like that. Let's hope to Jehubsis that this functions. On. I don't think it's working. Gotta get it out. Got a little screwdriver. Poke it in there. Gonna scrape some of the corrosion off and try and hopefully make it function. We're taking a little bit off there. Just gonna pray to Jehubsis that it. Oh! It beeped. It's beeping. We're beeping. It beeps. Okay that's good enough. I hope that works. This is why you shouldn't leave batteries in things. Alright. Game over. 400. Well it's slots so I suppose we give it a spin don't we? Can we change how much we want to bet on it or something? This secondary light is really, really, really cramping my style. Turn it off. Now I can actually see what's going on and not have to look through the camera. Alright so game over. We're gonna hit our button which is marked on slash spin. It's just that and sound. No way to change your betting amount or anything so I guess we're just. We just bet 400 and we. Focus. Focus damn you. There we go. Spin. Sound. Spin. It's locked up. We may need to reset. Now it's doing things. It's blinking itself at me. Oh my god. Okay. I did it. Aw dang it. It's just like a real casino. Reset it. It knows that you're destined to lose. It plays the losing noise as you turn it on. Alright. It's time for blackjack. I'm gonna peel from the top this time. Pray to god that goes better than whatever this is. The thing with top stations is that their packaging is kind of already coming apart so you don't have to deal with this. With non-top stations you do have to deal with this. Oh my god. It's like ripping into the very fabric of existence. It's not a good color. Alright. It's already sort of coming apart a little bit so maybe... Maybe we shall be fortunate. Generally we are not the fortunate ones. And girls just want to have fun. Can we pull it out? I've got this bit. Is that enough? More pulling. Like the opposite of childbirth. You pull instead of push. And also I'd imagine in childbirth you don't want to rip things. That's probably bad. You're ripping through things during childbirth. I'd imagine that's less than optimal. Well that was actually worse somehow so... Let that be a lesson to you if you're ever opening up one of these things. I suppose. Man. I think this was great content. I'm going to put this in the right way. There we go. A little better. Alright. Time to have to deal with the exact same problem I'd imagine. They don't even give you tabs like they say on the back. Hold on. Does the pen on this one work? Does this one have a functional pen? Can I write in my hand with it? No. I'm still zoomed in. That doesn't really matter. Did I mention that... I said I was going to ramble for a bit but I forgot what I rambled about. What I was probably saying was that ZZ did... It's got factory fingerprints on this one. I don't know if you can see that. There we go. Yep. Same deal. This one might have a little better of a chance of working. I see some more... exposed, actually decent kind of looking metal maybe. This floor gun has gunk on the floor. I just realized this isn't even plastic. This whole foam disc is stuck on here. As you can see where they didn't paint it. Alright, time to break my thumb again. Everyone's favorite activity. There we go. This one wasn't actually that bad. Didn't fly everywhere. It's not doing it. Wait. It is emitting a think beep. Gonna reset it. Nope, we're no longer beeping. Generally these things will be all messed up and then... Oh god, it screamed. Screamed in agony as I took the battery out. Okay. Hold on. Wait. We're getting something. We're very nearly connecting. Almost getting a connection. I'm gonna scratch at it some more. I don't know if the sort of faint red this thing's turned. Sort of on the inside of the battery compartment. You can see that there. It's sort of turning a faint red. I don't know if that's from corrosion or if that's just a poor paint job. Looks like a poor paint job to me. It's still not doing anything. It might be here a while. I'm gonna fiddle with the battery until it starts doing... Oh wait. We had it for a second there. We no longer have it. We might have it again. We keep almost having it. We keep very nearly having it. Whoop. It screamed at me. We got 200. Is that good? Is that the number we want? Is that how much money we got? Okay. I'm gonna scratch at it some more. It's the most I've ever had to scratch at. One of these little battery tab thingies. One of these battery tech compartments. Sort of battery. They've left a battery in and it's sort of gone off. There's something that I have to do a surprising amount of times. Okay. That sounded like a good noise. I know that that's a strange thing to say, it sounds like a good noise, but that's the noise that it seems to have made when it was working. So... We're doing a few splits. Yeah. Okay. It was meant to be a beep. So I reset it. It beeped again. This has been 16 minutes of this. Right. 200. Which button shall we push? Uh, uh-huh. Hit. I don't... I don't know how to play Blackjack. Um... It... Double... Stand... Okay, hold on. This is my hand, by the looks of it. This is the dealer's hand. I know they've got an ace. I'd hit or stand. Stand. I lost again. Is it possible to win? A hit. I don't think it's possible to win this game. It's just like the gambling one. I hit a button and now nothing's working. No, wait. I was hitting the wrong button. Uh... Sure? Okay. You can tell it's a confusing game when I'm the one that frequently does pop stations, and I'm confused by it. Oh yeah, Pen Games. I don't think I ever finished my initial rambling, I was just saying that there were pop station companies that did do this sort of thing. I have a ZC... Shut up. I have a ZC brick game type deal. Uh, and some... I think there were some Technosource ones made in the early 2000s. That's your... that's your ramble. I don't... I need to go to sleep. Okay. Hold on. But first, Happy New Year. I have to get to the right song. Beautiful. This is what happens when you don't do multiple takes in a video.