5 Decluttering Mistakes to Avoid (STOP SABOTAGING YOUR EFFORTS!)

In this video, you're gonna learn five mistakes that we all make when it comes to decluttering and what you can do about them. And you're gonna wanna stick with me until the end because I have an incredible declutter challenge. It's absolutely free, and I would love for you to join me. Details on that at the end. If you're ready to love parenting and parent from love, slam on that subscribe and like button. Don't forget to turn on the notification bell so you can meet me back here every Monday. The Parenting Junkie. Hi, I'm Avital. I'm a mindful parenting coach. I'm a mother of four, and I absolutely love talking about presence, peace, and play and reclaiming those for you and your family. Today, I'm gonna share five ways we sabotage any decluttering that we want to do, and I'm gonna share what you can do about it. If you're ready to declutter, hit that like button and let's get started. Number one, thinking it's won and done. People often tell me, but I decluttered last year, and they think that they're done decluttering. Now, I know there are lots of different methodologies out there, and some of them think that it is won and done, but what I've seen with my clients is that that's simply not the case, especially when there are young children around, and especially if you live in a seasonal place. Things come in and out of your life in a pretty rapid pace. Kids bring home more and more art projects, or every time you go to the dentist, they're given another little toy. Babysitters, friends, and well-meaning family members bring lots of gifts that sometimes you don't want in your home, or maybe you yourself are buying all sorts of stuff that you eventually realize you don't want. That's okay. The most important step here is to forgive yourself all of that and realize that decluttering is not won and done. It's an ongoing process. So yes, there might be one major declutter of every different category or room in your house, but you're going to need to continue your decluttering efforts all the time, because things are coming in to your home all of the time, and equally, they need to be leaving your home. As your children outgrow certain things, certain toys become irrelevant, or things break, those are the times that you're going to want to keep and continually get those things out of your sacred space. So please don't worry yourself if things continue to accumulate. Of course, we all wanna watch our consumption habits and try to limit the things that we don't want from coming in, but we also have to forgive that this is the type of culture we live in and it's going to happen. I keep a continual decluttering gangster bag on the go, always there, I'm always working it whenever I see things that we no longer need. It's going in there on the regular. For me, that's the only way to make it work, and I've seen that that's true for so many of the parents that I work with. Number two is decluttering in front of your kids. Now, this is a complex one, and of course, it depends on your lifestyle, on whether your kids are with you 24-7, and on the type of kid you have. Some kids are really okay letting go of stuff, they bless it, and they move on. And some parents manage to teach their kids about decluttering in a way that feels good to both of them. But when you wanna do a real declutter, a big overhaul, it's going to be challenging with most kids, at least from my experience. Most kids are going to say, ah, I need to hold onto that. Suddenly, the toys that you've seen that they haven't played with in over a year become their most prized possession. But a little plastic teddy bear, right? And then it becomes very difficult because we don't wanna take away something that they say they love. But in truth and in essence, they haven't touched that or taken any interest in it for years, and they probably would never again, and they might not even notice that it's gone. Now, if your child is the kind of child that does notice and does care, then of course, you need to communicate with them when you're decluttering their belongings. And then I would absolutely say, hey, baby, here's the space that we have for your things, for your treasures or for your toys or for your artwork, for your clothes. And when this becomes full, I'm gonna get rid of the stuff that you don't seem to be using. If there's something that you really never want me to get rid of, let me know. Of course, I won't. But on the whole, we need to keep our home tidy. We need to keep our possessions only to the things that we like to use so that our home feels good to us and that we don't create a lot of mess, and other people can enjoy these things. It makes space for us to enjoy the next things that come into our home too. So I absolutely think we should be teaching our kids and putting language around that, and we should be transparent and authentic. It's not that you should sneak behind their back. But as long as you're actually communicating to older children at least that this is something that happens and you can let them know, hey, I'm gonna be decluttering next week. Let me know if there's anything that is out of bounds. Of course, you're never gonna take any of their prized possessions. But if it's stuff that's been lying around for a long time, no one's taken interest of, or it's stuff that's adding bad energy to your home, like things that have a million little pieces and there's always a mess around it, you take the liberty as the leader of the home to make that decision. You can communicate it to your child, but I recommend doing it when they're not there, if they're that type of kid at least, right? At least for me, that's how it works. When my kids are there, I can do some decluttering, but I can't do really in-depth work in other people's homes or in my own when there are children standing there saying, no, I love this, I love that, because it's not real. It's a hoarding feeling that comes up. It's a fear-based feeling of like, they're gonna take everything from me. But the truth is that we have to focus on what we gain by decluttering. We gain space, we gain focus, we gain a sense of soothing, enjoyable, beautiful space for ourselves, and that's what we wanna focus on with our children. So it's not that I'm taking away the stuff that you love, it's that I'm clearing your space so you can focus on the things that you do love. Leading on from that point, point number three, not donating the stuff immediately. You've got to get it out ASAP, because if you don't, as I said before, suddenly your children will find it and be like, this is my best thing ever, and you yourself will start to have your doubts creeping in again. Oh, but maybe I will use this one day. Maybe these pants will fit me again. Maybe I do like those shoes after all. When you leave things around, you start to get doubtful about it, they start to creep right back in, and all of your hard work went for nought, and you never got that satisfying feeling of truly clearing space. Whether you're selling it on eBay, donating it to your local Salvation Army, or whatever it is that you're doing, try and do it in a timely fashion. At the very least, put it in your car, if you have one, to symbolize to yourself that this is no longer part of your home, this is no longer yours. Maybe make that call to the pickup company that comes from the charity to pick up the bags. Try to get it out quicker rather than later, because otherwise it's gonna migrate back into your stuff, and you'll feel like, I'm never decluttering again, it doesn't work anyway. Number four is going down the what if rabbit hole. You know the one. What if I need this one day? What if it fits me one day? What if the person who gave me this finds out that I gave it away? What if I regret this? What if I need to buy it again? What if it could work? What if I could fix it? What if I could patch it up? The what if rabbit hole is every declutterer's worst nightmare because you're trying to make space in your life, and you're trying to be intentional, and only have the stuff that you want, but this is just this massive sense of doubt that you're doing it wrong, and that you shouldn't do it in the first place, because what if? The key with the what if is to remember that it's a survival mechanism, right? It's that hoarding mentality, we've gotta hold onto it, because maybe there'll be a famine, maybe there'll be a dry drought, and we will need these things in some capacity. I think it's better, energetically speaking, to trust that we will have the exact things we need, I know that many of us didn't have that experience, so we don't know that in our brains, we don't feel that in our body, we don't trust that we'll have what we need, so we hold onto the things that we frankly don't need. You've gotta address those stories, and those limiting beliefs, and learn to let go, because you'll find that the beautiful experience of letting go holds its own gems as well. When you hold onto stuff, it might feel like security, and it might feel like safety, but it might also be slavery, and enslavement into holding you back in a prior version of yourself, a prior version of your values, or body, or taste, or size, or finances that isn't true anymore. You've gotta let yourself evolve, and you've gotta let yourself send that message to the universe and to those around you that you're ready for the next level, ready for the next iteration. Now, this isn't a ploy for consumerism, I'm not saying you should keep buying more, I'm saying don't hold onto the things that aren't you anymore. Allow those things out, allow them to serve someone else, and allow something else to come in in its place. You can trust that you will have the things that you need, because you are a creative, capable individual, and hopefully you can create that sense of safety within you, and if there is that odd thing that you regret letting go of, something that you did declutter that you probably shouldn't have, remember that you gain something by that as well. First of all, you learned an important lesson, you took things a little bit too far, and you learned where your edge is, and what is important to you, and second of all, in that decluttering spree, you made space, you got rid of things, you created minimalism, and soothed your environment. So yes, you got rid of something that you wish you hadn't, it happens, but on the other hand, you got rid of a lot of things that you did need to do, and probably that outweighs the cost. And finally, don't take on too much at once. When we decide we're ready to declutter, we sometimes take on our entire house, or all of the toys, or all of the clothes, and it becomes too much, you get overwhelmed, and then you give up without experiencing any sense of success, and then you're never gonna do it again, because it was too hard, and you failed at it anyway. So if you want my step-by-step declutter guide, I've created a PDF for you, and in fact, a challenge, where I'm gonna hold your hand, and we, as a community, are going to declutter together. I'm so excited, it's a free challenge, and I want you to sign up. If you check out the description box below, you'll find a link. When you sign up, you're gonna get a video all about this decluttering, and my story behind it, and some of my personal truths here, and it's a little vulnerable to share, but I want to, because this is so important to me, and I believe in it so much. Plus, you're gonna get some really practical step-by-step guides on what to do next, so that you can experience success right now. Now, if you're watching this sometime in the future, this challenge might be over, and I'm sorry, but you can still follow the link in the description box below to be notified next time we're running the challenge. Now's the time to leave me a comment below. Are you ready to take on the challenge? Let me know with a challenge accepted, if you are doing it, give me some love in the comments. Slam the like button if this is helpful for you, and you want to hear more about decluttering. Doing that gives back to me and to our community, because it helps other parents who might find this useful find it. So, thank you so very much, and I would love to see you inside that challenge today. Now, you're gonna wanna slam on that subscribe button, because here's what's coming next week. We're talking about another favorite topic of mine. If you've spent all this money and energy on buying lots of beautiful toys for your kids, and they're not playing with them at all, this video is for you.