She Isn't Worth It.. Girl Rejected Me & Now Wants To Date Me? | Reddit Reaction

Hi everyone. Welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, I'm Courtney Ryan and today we're going to be reading some Reddit posts. I found myself on these dating forums on Reddit and I thought some of these were just too good not to share and also could get a really interesting conversation going in the comments. Maybe you guys can share some personal stories you have or what you think about these. So yeah, let's get started. The girl I like rejected me two years ago and now she likes me and is asking me to date her. I used to like this girl I met at a party. We talked for a while and I felt it was the right decision to ask her out after almost a year. She gave me signs that she was interested too during the talking phase but yet rejected me. So one day we went to a friend's party where I asked her out. She said no and left. Things were awkward between us for a while but we used to attend the same parties and not talk which about 6-8 months later got pretty normal. That happened two years ago. Now she calls me and asks maybe we should date. What is this supposed to mean? What should I do? This one drove me nuts because I have gotten so many submissions from you guys with similar situations like this. I actually made an entire video on why they come back after rejecting you. Which did really well. You guys loved it. Because I think so many of you have been in this situation and as a woman I can tell you exactly why women do this. Go watch that video if you haven't already because I think you'll learn a lot. But just generally speaking here, a lot of the time it's because they wanted to keep their options open or they were talking to someone else and maybe it didn't necessarily work out with those other people. So they come back to you because you were the second option. You were the backup plan. And it's up to you whether you accept that or not but if I was your big sister or I'm on YouTube giving you advice, I'm telling you if you're not her first option you shouldn't want to be her option at all. And I don't think you should just accept someone so easily back into your life two years later after she decides after all that time and probably being with other people that all of a sudden she wants to be with you now. So I would again not roll out the red carpet for her and just willingly let her walk into your life like this. What you allow is what's going to continue and if she knows that she made you an option instead of a priority and you were so willing to let her back in, it almost makes you look bad. You know what I mean? Like you're just so willing to accept poor behavior from people and you don't respect yourself. So I would be wary of this situation. You guys can let me know in the comments what advice you would give but I think if again if people come back there's always a reason. It's not always malicious or you know bad intentions but I do think it's often because they thought that they could find someone better or they had other options that didn't work out and you were the backup plan. You were guy number two. You're the backup guy and I wouldn't recommend any of you to be that guy. So just something to keep in mind but let me know what you guys think down below. So another thing I'll say here is that I feel like I would need a little more context to number one being what signs was she giving you that she was interested in you because I think a lot of times guys misread signs or they mistake it for something that it's not. So maybe she was just being nice. Maybe she was just being friendly or maybe she was genuinely leading you on because she liked the attention you were giving her. I feel like you kind of have to differentiate between the two and be able to kind of see where you stood with her and what those signs were. And secondly I want to know what changed her mind because you're still it seems like consistently seeing her throughout this time period. It's not like she moved away. It doesn't seem like that and she had an epiphany and decided she wanted to be with you. It seems like you were still consistently seeing her. So what changed her mind? And honestly you could ask her that. I think you have every right to say what's going on? What happened? What changed your mind? Why do you all of a sudden want to be in a relationship with me when you rejected me two years ago? Maybe don't say it that way but I think it's okay to inquire a little bit and ask questions when someone rejects you and then all of a sudden wants to be with you now. So again have an open honest communication about that and you can decide whether you want to accept her back in but regardless don't be a doormat. That's my number one tip for you. The next one here is called she isn't worth it. So I've been trying to get this girl I really like to go on a date with me for about two months. We go clubbing together most weekends and have kissed. This time I organized a whole plan. She and her friend came to my house. I invited a friend over that I knew her friend liked so she had more incentive to come. I picked them up. We went to my house. I cooked for her because she was hungry. We had a cool evening and ended up going to the roof of my house that night and talked for hours. At the end of the convo when we were about to climb down I kissed her and she responded positively. We decided to go clubbing since well it's the weekend isn't it? About an hour later she went to the bathroom. Half an hour went by and she hadn't come back so I decided to go check if she was okay. I found her tongue deep and another dude. She stayed there for over an hour. When it was about 6am and we all wanted to leave we had to wait for her because she wasn't answering her phone. I thought about leaving her. I should have if I'm honest but she's best friends with one of my closest friends and to be frank I'm just not that guy. I can't leave her alone in the middle of the night. I wasn't raised like that. Gentlemen, learn from my mistakes. Don't ignore the, in retrospective, obvious red flags. Don't put her on an imaginary pedestal. Sometimes people are just not worth it. Oof that one was a doozy. So at least at the end he realized. After telling the story I think being able to reflect on the situation and understand what went wrong and maybe the signs that you ignored is really important for the future. So that's good at least. But oh my gosh so many red flags here. First of all you shouldn't have to convince someone to go out with you for two months in order for them to go on a date with you. At some point you've got to stop waiting around and being the fill in guy, the back up guy and just kind of cut your losses. Number two, oh my gosh can you imagine how brutal that is to be so into someone you go out with someone, you kiss her that same night and then she goes missing and you see her with another guy. Like that is just a terrible situation to be in and obviously you seem like a really great guy because of the fact that you literally saw her kissing someone else and still didn't leave her there. I think that that was still the right thing to do because you never know what could have happened and I feel like if you would have left her there and something would have happened to her you know you would have felt guilty about that by just leaving her there. But also like did you talk to her? Like when you picked her up and went and left with her did you have a conversation about it? Did she say anything to you? Like did you tell her that you saw her kissing someone else? I just feel like that's so awkward and I would love to know you know the details of the situation and maybe just for other guys that are in a similar situation like ugh I just have so many questions I wish I knew this person so I could ask them but if you're a guy watching and you're in a similar situation where you're feeling like you are having to force a situation with a girl or convince her to go out with you or like you learn from this guy's mistakes because I think that some people just really are not worth your time and this was exhibit A. So this female 29 boyfriend who's 35 doesn't believe in marriage and it's causing me to try to lie to myself and convince myself marriage is crap anyway. So basically the title. I always pictured myself getting married and it's always something I wanted in life. I'm not really sure why, perhaps feeling like someone loves me enough to make me their wife or maybe a big celebration of a wedding. Anyway my current partner who I am very in love with does not want to get married. Not to me, not to anyone. I am actually his first girlfriend and we started dating about 2 years ago so he's been very wary of romantic relationships his whole life. It was a major personal set for him to enter a relationship with another person. Unfortunately, I wasn't aware how he felt about marriage until a year into the relationship. I remember him stating marriage is something we would do while we were in the talking phase but he claims he doesn't remember saying this and doesn't know why he would say it. Yikes. Okay. We almost broke up because of these differences but decided we still want to be with each other. I love him and want to be with him and it feels silly to leave this relationship to find someone new just so I can experience being married. I am financially independent and don't need marriage and I'm not religious either but I feel like this is going to be hard to let go of. I also feel weird changing my beliefs for someone but then I ask myself why does it matter so much that we marry if we love each other. I just can't tell if marriage really doesn't matter or mean anything or if I'm trying to lie to myself to avoid the pain of a breakup. Side note, there is no trust issues at play here on my end at least. This situation is really tough because I really think in order to make a relationship work, in order for a relationship to be successful and happy and healthy, for big life events like marriage and kids and religion, you really both have to be on the same page. I think this is where it comes into play that your morals and values and ideas about what you want out of life need to be aligned in order for things to work out because no matter how you look at this situation, someone is not getting something that they want. There's a compromise that has to be made on both sides but it's a pretty big compromise. I mean marriage is a really big deal and if you've wanted that your whole life and then you change the way you think about it just because of the person that you're dating, I'm not really sure that that's the reason why your opinion should change, right? Because you're trying to please someone else or do something for someone else. I think that's a decision that you have to be able to make for yourself and it should come from a place of you being okay with that and accepting of that and wanting that for your life and not necessarily just to stay with someone or make things work with someone who feels that way. So this is a really tough situation and honestly if I was in a situation like this, I just feel like I would have to realize at some point that maybe we're just not compatible for each other. Maybe we just aren't a good match because this is a really big thing to have differing opinions on. I mean it's your life you're talking about. It's a huge commitment with someone and I would have to wonder if he hadn't had any romantic relationships his entire life until you and it was a big deal that he even committed to you, does he have commitment issues? Does he have avoidant attachment or does the idea of a forever commitment scare him and he's just masking that by saying he doesn't believe in marriage? If you don't believe in marriage and you don't ever see yourself being married, which it sounds like he's always felt that way and maybe just didn't communicate that to you, that's something that you should tell someone in the very beginning of dating them. That's like telling someone you're infertile, you can't have kids. You don't wait until a year in to tell someone you can't have kids. That's something that you need to be very honest about and I would expect the same for marriage. If I was dating someone and I found out a year in after I'm already in love with them and the relationship is going well that they don't ever want to get married, that's a huge red flag that they didn't tell you that. It really does seem like this girl is changing the way that she views marriage just to please someone else, which I wouldn't recommend any of you doing and I think it's okay for your opinions about things to change, especially when it comes to our culture or marriage or if you want kids. When I was 12 years old, I said I would never have kids and now I want kids. I think it's okay for your opinion to change over time, but it should be your opinion and the way that you feel about it, not because someone else feels that way and you're kind of conforming to the way that they think. It should really be a you decision and it's okay to be selfish about marriage and want to be married and not just change the way you feel about marriage entirely because the person you're with doesn't want to be married. It should be a you decision. If you've ever been in a situation like this, please let me know in the comments down below what advice would you give to this girl. I think that men and women often feel different about marriage. I know there's a lot of men on YouTube who talk about how they would never be married, they never want to get married, so I would just love to get a conversation going on this topic. There is no right or wrong. It's your decision. What you do with your life is totally up to you, but it should be your decision and not anyone else's. Alright guys, that is all I have for this video. If you liked it or found it helpful, be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel to be in the loop for when I release new content. If you guys have any reddit threads or posts or things that you want me to react to and give my opinion on, be sure to send those my way. Always happy to accept requests from all of you guys. So if you haven't already, be sure to follow me on Instagram at CourtneyChristineRyan. I love connecting with all of you guys on there as well. As always, thank you all so much for watching and I will see you all next time.