5 Things Women Say That Are MAJOR Red Flags

Hi everyone. Welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, I'm Courtney Ryan and we're back at it here with things women say that are major red flags. So I recently did a video of five things that women say that are huge red flags that all of you should be looking out for and you guys loved it so much I figured I would include a little part two here for all the things that I missed in the first one. And make sure you stick around until the very end here if you want the bonus tip of the century. Starting off really strong here with number one, a real man would fill in the blank. Fill in the blank here with legitimately anything she wants from you that doesn't actually require or involve you being a real man. A real man wouldn't care about my body count. A real man would buy me a Birkin bag. A real man would fly me out to Cabo. Woody though. In my eyes, a real man wouldn't be dating anyone who said something to him like this. This kind of talk is just very silly to me. There's going to be a couple things on this list that kind of go along with this one because it insinuates that unless you are a certain way or you're doing a certain thing then you're not worthy enough or you're not deserving of her. And people again who talk like this as I mentioned in the last red flag video that I did often hold their partner or the people in their lives to an incredibly high standard. An unrealistic standard if I'm being totally honest. And then these type of people often hold themselves to very low standards so it just doesn't add up. Insinuating that someone is not a real man because they don't agree with you or go along with what you say or fit your agenda is just so silly. Not only silly but it's also incredibly manipulative in my opinion. If someone tries to use this type of language with you in order to make you feel like you need to do something or guilt trip you into doing something, chances are this person just isn't right for you and they're probably a little bit toxic. And think about the girls that are normally the ones saying things like this. I just, when I picture a girl who's saying a real man wouldn't care about my body count, you get what I'm saying. And this point here kind of leads me into my next point number two which is if you really liked me you would again fill in the blank here with something that she wants from you or something that she wants you to do for her. The problem with this is it creates a very manipulative mindset around why you should or shouldn't be doing something. Instead of her just being able to express what she wants and what she needs from you as you do in a healthy, happy, flourishing relationship, she's guilt tripping you into doing something and making you feel like you aren't worthy of her or you aren't good enough if you don't do what she wants which is not good if a man does this or a woman does this. It's equally manipulative on both sides in my opinion and I don't think guilt tripping someone into doing something really leads to any kind of good result. And another thing I want to point out about this type of language is we have different love languages. Not all of us have the same love languages in a relationship. I might feel the most love from acts of service and my fiance might feel the most love with physical touch. So making sure you understand your partner's love language and how they feel loved by you I think is really important and crucial for a healthy relationship. I do think for a relationship it's important to understand and know how your partner feels loved by you. Some people have crazy expectations and no matter what you do you're never going to reach them. So trying to win over or continue with someone like that is just exhausting and pretty much a waste of time until they kind of take a look at themselves and say you know what I'm being really unrealistic. I'm expecting this guy to be 10 out of 10 perfect prince charming when I don't even do anything for him. So being with someone who is self aware and holds themselves to the same standards that they hold you to I think is really important. Another thing I want to mention here is really just the way that this is phrased. So instead of saying if you really liked me you would buy me flowers. That's very manipulative and guilt tripping again. Instead if you want flowers just say hey it really makes me feel special and so loved by you when you buy me flowers. You're just communicating how something that someone does makes you feel. You're expressing that you enjoy and you like when your partner does this and you like the way that it makes you feel without guilt tripping them into doing it. Number three is a doozy and it's one that I hear so often and it makes me just go insane okay. If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best. Dear lord who made this a thing? Every time I see someone post something like this it just makes me want to vomit. So you're saying if you at your worst is slashing my tires I'm supposed to wait around to find out what your best looks like? No thank you. And if that's the case I better at least see you fixing it once you've slashed it like an Indy 500 pit crew or something. But really here all joking aside how about we start taking accountability for these worst parts of ourselves instead of just telling someone that they have to deal with it. How about we take a deeper look at that and get to the root of the problem and fix these things or at least work on them about ourselves instead of just dumping all of our problems or our worst parts of ourselves onto our partner. This is probably the one that just drives me the most crazy. I hate when people say this and I think it's just incredibly narcissistic and not someone that you would want to be with that's saying something like this in my opinion. Number four she gives all tomatoes. If you want to see me again you have to do blank. If you want to see me again you have to take me to this really nice restaurant. I'm only going to go on a second date with you if you take me here or buy me this or pay me this amount of money. The list goes on. It's one thing to set boundaries and express what you want and what you need from someone as I mentioned earlier in the video but it's incredibly different to frame it in this manipulative way and give them an ultimatum. You have to do this for me or you better do this for me or else. In my opinion I think this is just very controlling and unhealthy and I don't think a relationship that involves constant ultimatums from either partner is a healthy one. And again here this comes down to communication and being with someone who is on the same page as you. If you say something to someone like well I'm not going to date you unless you think this way or unfollow this person or do this. Maybe it's just not meant to be right? I mean I think we have to understand you're not going to be compatible with everyone and being with someone where you can find common ground and have values and morals and ideas about life that align is important and giving ultimatums is not part of that equation. So say you're following an ex on Instagram and it makes your girlfriend uncomfortable so the ultimatum she gives you is hey if you don't unfollow your ex on Instagram we're over. I'm breaking up with you. Versus her expressing her wants and her needs from you and how she's feeling so she could say hey I just want to let you know it makes me really uncomfortable that you're still following your ex on Instagram. I just want you to be aware of that and how it makes me feel. And then what you do with that information is up to you and if you don't unfollow her then she can look at it and say okay you know he would rather follow his ex on Instagram than you know consider the way that I'm feeling about it. And that's a red flag to me and I don't want to be with someone like that. So I hope you guys can kind of see the difference there of an ultimatum you know you have to do this being very controlling and manipulative versus I'm expressing to my partner how I feel and what he does with that information is up to him and maybe you know if he continues to do something that makes me uncomfortable or makes me upset then that's a red flag in my eyes and I can you know decide what I want to do with this situation going forward versus being so controlling of like you have to unfollow this girl and that girl and you can't like this stuff and just being so controlling and puppeteer of your partner. The way that you express your feelings or your wants or your needs as I mentioned a million times to the people that you're dating is really important and I don't think giving ultimatums is healthy. Ultimately I think it's controlling and manipulative from both parties. And number five the last point on my list here before I give you the little bonus tip I mentioned in the beginning is this is just how I am or that's just how I am you have to deal with it which kind of ties into the point I made earlier. Another one here that's just an extreme example of a lack of accountability and honestly just immaturity. So instead of trying to grow and evolve as a human and take a look at those parts of yourself that maybe aren't so great they play the victim. And then they use the excuse of well this is just how I am you can either leave or deal with it. Okay I'll leave thank you. So really with this example and other things that she could say that are kind of similar to this is just seeing a incredible lack of accountability which you do not want to have in a partner. If I give you any piece of advice in this video it's to really make sure that the person you're with takes accountability for themselves their actions and again as I mentioned before holds you to the same standards that they hold themselves at. It's incredibly frustrating and exhausting to be with someone who holds you to these unrealistic crazy standards and expects you to just be okay with everything and anything that they do even if it's the worst thing ever. But then when it comes to them they hold themselves to really low standards and it's again just very exhausting and I wouldn't wish that for any of you. So just really keeping in mind here and looking at does this girl take accountability or is she constantly playing the victim pointing fingers at everyone else and just acting like she can do no wrong. You do not want to be with a girl like that I promise you. And my bonus tip here which might sound kind of silly and I'm kind of kidding kind of not kidding really mostly leaning on the not kidding category. Anything astrology related. I'm sorry someone had to say it. Specifically here the kind of talk regarding compatibility maybe oh I'm a Sagittarius and he's a Gemini so you know we just aren't compatible at all you know how Geminis are they're the worst kind of guys to date. Huh? Or I'm a Scorpio this is just how I am I'm a princess it's my birthday month treat me like a queen it's going to be a no from me. If I was a guy and I'm really not being dramatic here I'm putting myself in your shoes and I went out on a first date with a girl and she said anything along the lines of what I just said to you there would be no second date. And I really don't feel bad saying this because girls talk about ics all the time the way a guy scoots into a booth the way a guy's standing in a photo the way a guy's hair is tucked behind his ear I don't know they say the craziest things. So if I was a guy and I was looking at ics about girls this would be one of them and it's not even an icc it's a red flag to me and a turn off you know you do whatever you want if you're into astrology it could be a totally different story but this is just something I've noticed while being on TikTok and online is just the people that make astrology their entire personality trait and of like well I'm just a horrible human because I'm a Gemini it's just the way it is sorry you have to deal with it. Goodbye. Astrology talk is an icc. Sorry not sorry. Alright guys that is all I have for this video if you liked it or found it helpful be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel to be in the loop for when I release new content. If you haven't seen the part one I did to this video definitely be sure to go check that one out you guys left a lot of really amazing comments that helped me get inspired for this part two video so if there's anything else any other things I missed be sure to leave them down in the comments below. If you haven't already be sure to follow me over on Instagram at CourtneyChristineRyan I love connecting with all of you guys over on there as well. As always thank you all so much for watching and I will see you all next time.