The FUNNIEST Best Man Speech You'll Ever Hear

I just want to say welcome everybody. It's not every day you get to celebrate such a wonderful once in a lifetime achievement. As many of you have heard, I've actually graduated law school, so thank you for celebrating this wonderful time. Thank you. There's also a wedding, but I know why you're all here. So thank you very much everyone for coming here. Being asked to be someone's best man is a lot like being called to jury duty. You don't really want to go, but you have to. You have to put on a suit and pretend to be an upstanding member of the community. And the only difference is I didn't have a say in the life sentence that was passed today. So for those of you who don't know me, my name is Ryan. I'm Reese's brother. For those of you who do know me, I apologize, I don't think I've ever told any of you my real name. My real name is Ryan. Hey, do you want a drink? And I prefer to be called that if we're ever at the bar later this evening, please use my full name. Wow. So I'm here to talk about Reese. Reese named me his best man. Loyal, caring, sincere, honest, a great man. But enough about me, I am here to talk about Reese. Where to start with Reese? Well, he's handsome, witty, intelligent, charming. I can't read your handwriting. What did you want me to say here? Drop dead sexy. That's what it is. I see that now. Thank you. Reese is my brother. I got to grow up with Reese. We grew up on a ranch, a little isolated. So Reese and I, Reese and I were all we had growing up and it was awesome. I could not ask for a better brother. I could not be more proud of the man you are today. Congratulations to you. I'm truly, truly proud of you. I do have to say, Reese, just how lucky you are. You get to leave here today with a wife who is warm, loving, and caring. And Nick, you're pretty lucky as well. You get to leave here with an awesome dress and a wonderful set of bouquet flowers. One sec. Nicole, Nicole, Nicole. I remember the first time I met Nicole. Never met her before. Never heard about her before. She came along with us on a family vacation. As some of you who know, Reese and I are rather large gentlemen and she was forced to take a rather long road trip sitting in the back seat between the two of us. That can't even imagine how awkward that was for you. But here we are today and I couldn't be happier about it. Nicole, you're a wonderful human being. I'm so glad Reese met you. It's just, it's just amazing how nice and caring you are towards Reese. All those of you who know Nick know that she is a wonderful, caring person. She truly deserves a good husband. But thank God you met her before she found one, eh, Reese? No, no, no, no. No, we all know Nick is a wonderful person who deserves the perfect guy. Too bad you don't always get what you deserve. No, Nick, congratulations. You don't get to choose your family, especially the family you're family. Your family is choosing for you, but I could not ask for a better sister. And I am truly, really thankful that you have come into our lives. So thank you, Nick, for that. Just a couple of conclusionary notes. So some of some of Reese's, you know, Reese is on the football team. Some of his football team is here. I actually have a message to you from the rest of the team that was unable to make it. They wanted to tell you, Nick, apologies that we couldn't make it to be here today. Good luck with Reese. They wanted me to let you know that they found him useless in most positions, but they're hoping, but they're hoping that you have better luck with him tonight. So anyway, here's to you two. Here's to my brother, Reesey P.C. and to Nicholas Dickless. May you two have a wonderful, happy life together.