Why Asian Americans ARE NOT Having Children

are young asian-americans having kids still or are they kind of scared let's talk about it everybody I'm here with mother and comedian Kiki young hello all right so basically I've seen all these different Reddit posts about like hey anyone here planning to have their uh planning their lives around not having kids these are all in the Asian subreddits by the way Asians in America need to have more children or hey uh I feel that Asian parenting has made being child-free more po popular wow so some people suspect that the reason why a lot of asian-americans are not having children is because they remember what it's like for their Asian parents so I'm not here to scare anybody from having a kid because I think most people um say they want kids but whether or not they actually go through with it is a different story right Kiki and you actually have a kid for sure yeah and I didn't want to have one to in my 30s ah so you're you're kind of a a late blomer mother yes okay all right so keik is you're going to add your real life mother experience and your Asian background uh you're from Hong Kong originally grew up in the states so here we're going to get into this list guys please hit that like button check out other episodes of the hot poop boys you know what I'll just say it I hope to have kids one day good for you kid yeah I could I think you make a great dad you think so yeah I got that Dad energy just yeah little bit like you you seem like you could play basketball with your kid be a sneaker head together like I think you guys would have fun eat a liot no Kiki I will be very strict liar he wouldn't he's like one of those that well give me your hand with a ruler and you'll start laughing and not hit them oh heck no anyways guys let's get into the list reasons why a lot of asian-americans are not having kids let's talk about it um Point number one uh that I found and a AG ree or disagree in the comments down below Asian-American children didn't really get to enjoy their childhood growing up they're always pushed to study so they don't really have a good perception of what a nice childhood is or they don't want to repeat that for their kid I agree I mean my childhood was nice we went to eat a lot but also I was terrified of my mom you know in Hong Kong you have to sign the exam papers to get approval anything below a b i forg my mom's signature that's how terrified of her I was and I hit all those exam papers and I brought them to America and I crazy would you say you enjoyed your childhood would you say like yes or no did you enjoy your childhood in Hong Kong yes in America no okay and when did you come to America 12 okay so from 12 on did not enjoy your childhood uh Point number two never feeling like you can meet your parents' expectations and maybe having fear that your parents will put those expectations on your kids aka their grandchildren right so meaning like let's say if you have very overbearing parents might there be a fear that your parents are going to be hovering over you like yeah you have to raise your kid this way do this why aren't you doing this why aren't you doing this for your child why w't you do this for your child I love your accent yes my my mom did that to me I mean my mom actually did that to my brothers just made them sit there and study and they just yelling at them all the time it's hor wait to her grandkids no to to my brothers oh yeah but my mom but she never did it to me cuz I study like a crazy person but how did she treat your grand your kid oh she hasn't well the last time she saw she was very nice she was very nice to him um but she said you better discipline him now or else it'll be too late you regret it she kept saying listen to me it'll be too late what about your brothers do they have kids yeah my my my younger brother has two how does she treat them she just kind of be like they're they are always watching the iPad like complaining about oh they eat microwave food or yeah but she she's busy I haven't seen her physically for eight years oh wow okay yeah uh's mom I hope she's doing well all right so Point number three uh they're afraid they'll become like their parents when they become parents you know just in general like cuz you know you just you might revert back to how you raised and you're like like oh I don't want to be the same Asian parent to to my kids yeah totally and I I've read a lot of books had some therapy and I prayed a lot and it helped release a lot of trauma but there are moments when I know like I I'm like my mom or my dad like you feel it coming out you're like oh yes totally like you stupid no bring back oh that's so you know what that means yeah no I don't your your parents are nice to you they don't say things like that they're like they always say you're lazy you no brain you're stupid okay my my my mom did say lazy but no she didn't call stupid she didn't call oh my mom would say because I lay on the couch to relax but when they get home they like are you the Empress of China like Empress young why are you laying around why you lounging around get your feet up anyways Point number four a lot of asian-americans grew up in unideal towns where their parents still resign so if they want that parental help while that grandparent help while raising kids they don't want to go back to that town for example I live in New York City obviously a lot of transplants a lot of people this is their dream City to move to it is an amazing City in many ways but I know like for example my friends from Ohio if they start a family in New York what they're going to bring the family back to Ohio to raise their kids no no they're not like no offense to Ohio they just didn't like their upbringing so of course it's not going to bring them back to Cleveland you know as a Asian you know Asian-American family just for that grandparent help you know what I mean maybe it's easier if your parents are all in like Irvine California or maybe you know some nice little Suburban St gab yeah monre Park Pal Park New Jersey maybe you know then you have plenty of help in that Community but anyways um Point number five they uh overall a lot of asian-americans just don't want to make the sacrifice that their parents went through because I think they're so we're all very aware of a lot of the stories and the sacrifice that parents went through and it just I guess if you look at it it did sound unappealing and not very fun right like even if you're happy the way you're raised even if you're happy about how you turned out you still saw your parents and how much time they put in and maybe it's was because they were immigrants though so your life is a little bit different but still it just looks like so much right yeah it's exhaust now that I'm a mom I only have one child and I'm just like wow I know why my mom was like this to me now but you still have time to go out and do comedy tours yeah and I need to sleep yeah sometimes I mean yeah I don't know what to say about it it's just the thought of it is exhausting do you feel like you have a community around La your home though that you that you guys like a parents Community with the kids no I put my son in basketball and that's about like you know what about his you got family friends no I don't have family you leave your kid with like you're like no I don't leave my kid with any we go to the kids club we have to pay 1350 an hour and uh yeah and um oh that's about it so it's like really hard to come by cuz my my mom's too far to even help so oh right well I do have family in San Diego but not in Pasadena right right right a lot of Asians are accustomed to higher living standards because now a lot of Asians they grew up and got good jobs they make good money they finally in their 30s or late 20s are getting into their well into their social lives they kind of like their community that they're at they're having fun they feel accepted in America and they're like dang now I got to think about having a kid and that's going to ruin all the fun but if you have a good Community I think then everybody has kids and then like your friends will have kids and then they can grow up together to an extent right there's some aspect of that yeah but the friends don't really want to watch your kid either I feel like no but I mean if the friends have kids themselves maybe they watch then we can all hang out together but it's not like I get a break like I have friend but we all have to so is it very noisy but it's fun but it's still exhausting number seven a lot of asian-americans maybe don't know who their maate is going to be or they don't know if they should marry within their ethnic group to kind of further the culture you know Asian on Asian Chinese on Chinese Korean on Korean Viet on Viet or whatever Filipino on Filipino but uh or do they find a mate outside of the race you know and and have mixed race babies uh you know or or maybe namely some Asian guys go overseas for for marriage possibly go back to Asia or whatever you know so I think there's there's a lot of those options especially when it comes to dating you know yeah would you you married another Cantonese man yeah now but before I married a black guy yeah black man and that was did you think about having a family with him yes and like how that that was going to be very different than having it with another Cantonese guy yeah I I won't be able to listen to Cantonese music with him and have him sing it back to me um but and also the food even though he liked Chinese food he loved Bruce Lee did kung food together it would still be different but but then I thought it would be cool mix of culture um but yeah I didn't didn't I didn't make ablation yeah so I I have a pure breed Chinese son so uh yeah I mean but you know like I said that that ends the list but like like I said I think a lot of people say they want kids they like the idea um but some people are very resigned to not having kids either let me just go through some comments uh somebody said uh my mom told me I don't need to have a baby to be happy to put my career first she defines the stereotype I think this is a woman who's leaving this comment I think it's because it was so hard for her her to raise me without my dad around she told me that she's glad I'm married and focusing on my career okay so this mom's not pressuring her that's great um some guy called Asian F boy on Reddit goes as it is there's already a hurdle in the dating Market Asians especially Asian men trying to match up with anyone then if you do match up the relationship has to spark so some won't make it after the spark and some won't even make it to having kids I mean listen some people make it to marriage and engagement and then divorce before even having kids right so um you know this person's just saying there's a struggle in the dating Market obviously that's going to determine whether people can have kids so I guess really the issue of having kids is directly obviously related to the dating Market yeah if you cannot date you will not have kids because generally you're dating to then at least have kids if not get at least married you know what I mean yeah and also do you think it's still Taboo in Asian culture did not have a baby before marriage so it's like I think now like if you have a baby like pretty close to marriage I think a lot of people are not that tradition like they're fine with it you know a lot of parents anyway someone said it's not like Asians and Asia are having children either none of East Asia are hitting the replacement rate with Korea even below being one birth rate per person per year or per couple um yeah and someone says yeah I mean listen like Singapore Japan China Korea all negative birth rates oh wow Korea everybody's having fun huh yeah uh uh someone said absolutely I know I inherited my mom's temper but throughout the years I've been more conscious uh to be nothing like her because she just screams when she's angry and I leave the room um I don't want a child to ever experience this so no kids for me wow oh ouch that really really hurt him and someone said hey um the low Asian-American birth rate is more due to maybe not the reasons that even I listed but more due to just economic success because educated and economically successful women don't want to be baby factories uh essentially which is true because the more educated the woman is and the more career-minded she is the less kids she's going to have if any kids yeah like if she's a career woman she might have one two you know you're ambitious you're still working comedy all this stuff would you have time if you wanted to keep pursuing those things would you have time for another kid maybe not right yeah or even if I make time will my body allow me because I'm always traveling or working you know the stress you'd have to take such a break yes like mental physical right right right so I mean yeah it's true that if you look at the Asian-American success rate whether it's jobs or or like our college education if men if Asian women are also very educated right then yeah they're just not going to have as many kids no matter who they marry even if they marry a a white or black or Latino person they're just not they're just not having a lot of kids yeah maybe not as fertile when you're like stressing out about like the deadlines not sleeping enough cuz you're working a lot you're saying when your cortisol is spiking from like your boss and then deadlines and you're like a project manager yeah I mean shout out to my sister she has two kids though she has two boys um and she is you know uh uh pretty high up at her job two comparing to back then like three to five six is still right actually somebody of my sister's likeness back then maybe well I think for say for how educated she is she has two kids that's a lot but like yeah if you had like typically traditionally rich people or people who had money had more kids they could cians like how many they have now yeah exact it's a lot I know Kiki how come you don't have more kids like the Kardashian huh well I'm working like I'm I'm trying to take the the the herbs yeah why why don't you be more like Chris Jenner Kiki Jenner I have more kids Jenner you sound so K right now okay um but yeah overall in conclusion I think like do you would you agree that even though there's a lot of people scared to have kids right now cuz they're always like crunching the numbers and thinking how much they're going to have to sacrifice do you think that people can actually handle it a lot better than they think handle it a lot better like do you think they're actually a lot stronger than they think a lot of Asian are like I want to have a kid but then like what if I My Lifestyle changing I'm not going to like it I think I think it's all in the head cuz for a long time I was like never I don't want a kid and then I was like mid-30s and then I went to work in Hong Kong I travel by myself for the first time ever and then I was Suddenly It's just that moment of like oh I think I can be a mom I could take care of somebody and then bam I got pregnant so I think once you're pregnant to I think we missed something about you meeting the guy and dating him yeah but you know that's another story but I'm just saying like once you're pregnant and then you feel the life and you see it for the woman and then the the guy you something just changed it just I feel like like all my friends that were like no kids and then suddenly they're parents they become very strict they they I have a friend that times the the the going number one number two like it's like really like wow they're on the schedule but they usually they're like you know they go out to party and stuff so people change and I think we can't be too cerebral about it like if your your heart feel you just feel like sometimes it just needs to happen and then people figure it out yes and it's meant to be too because sometimes you want kids too you can't I know a lot of women are freezing their eggs in the 30s like right and cuz they want it maybe in their 50s I I don't know when yeah right when are you going to when are you going to use the eggs anyways guys let me know in the comments down below thank you Kiki for your input uh you are a proud mother Kiki is pro child at least Pro one child yeah or two but you have one child so you have a one child policy no I just anyways all right everybody check out Kiki's links down below she's a comedian based out of La she does her own show uh super Hong Kong Cantonese lady right here number one Kanto don't LMO be nice to you cursing on my channel oh sorry even though it's in cantones you're cursing all right until next time everybody thank you byebye we out peace