Chinese Men Are Sexless. But Korean Men Are Not - WHY?

In this episode of the Asian Rebel Podcast with Crystal Wren, today, we are going to be exploring a taboo subject. Why are all Asians, but particularly Chinese people, still so awkward when it comes to talking about the topic of sex? In a lot of Asian cultures, the second sex gets mentioned as a topic, people get real weird and real quiet. So today, we are going to be delving into why Chinese culture, in particular, even more than other Asian cultures, let alone Western cultures, still seem so old school when it comes to talking about sexual topics or sexuality, and why Asian men struggle to be seen as sexual beings in the West. I hope you guys enjoy. Welcome to Asian Rebel Club. Today, David and I are going into one of the most taboo topics in Asian culture, which is sex. Are Asians actually sexually oppressed, or did Asian culture just push sexuality into shame, fantasy, secrecy, performance, and status? People love to say Asians are not sexual, but when you look around, it gets very confusing because Japanese have entire porn categories, and Indians give the world Kama Sutra. Chinese folklore is full of fox spirits, Dutch myths, Korea built a massive beauty and romance industry, and that's why Asians are constantly having identity crises around desirability. So what is actually going on? Are we not sexual, or are we just more split between public and private fantasies? David, why are so many Asian cultures have such modest public spaces, but such intense private fantasy worlds? I mean, the easiest answer is just that's the way the society's developed. In the East, and the further up North you go, the more repressed it is, you know what I mean, to Japan, Korea, China, and I just think that that's what they optimize for. I don't think that they think the public expression of sexual things is appropriate, and they maybe view sex as a little bit more of an activity, but not an identity. Whereas if you look in, for example, the Mediterranean, Italy, Spain, Latin American cultures, I think sexuality is almost like, that's number one or number two things somebody might tell you about themselves. And then I think in Asia, specifically East Asia, it'll be near number 50, you know what I mean? They would be like, oh, you know, I'm an engineer. I don't know. They just wouldn't think of themselves as a, you know what I mean, their sexual Pokemon to the world. They wouldn't even have thought of that. But with your logic, the Nordic people will be very sexually repressed, right? But then we all know that the Nordic Scandinavian girls really care about sexual compatibility with a man. So if after the first date or whatever, and they're not really having a good time sexually, they usually don't go out, right? I think that's what usually happens. So with that logic, why can't Chinese and Japanese, I guess Japanese are a bit kinky, but why can't Chinese people also be the same? Why is sexual compatibility not a big component in compatibility in the Chinese culture? I would imagine it's just because of social engineering, that it's just for the stability of society, people decided that that wasn't an important match, you know, because like a lot of couples in China, it's more like based off other styles of compatibility. Just sexual compatibility is not one of the top priority compatibility, right? You can be compatible on a lot of levels, like financial. Why is that? Why is that not important? Because seriously, we're talking about that. It is so important in so many different cultures. Why is it not as important as Chinese culture? There's got to be a reason why it's so important in other cultures. I think that in my opinion, Chinese society is so built on the denial of like primal, like let's just assume like a Freudian, like id and ego things are correct, right? Let's just like operate under that assumption. Like the suppression of those things, I think it's almost like one of the core tenants of Chinese society that is not, you know, like other cultures, they may look at the id and the ego and be like, okay, let's jujitsu it or let's guide it or let's work it to like motivate us. But then I would say that Chinese would be like, let's just suppress it. And then on top of that, there's Buddhism too, which is also has to do with the letting go of desire. How about Confucian? From what I know, Confucius was really not into primal sexuality. Like I think he executed like five people in his whole life because he was like the security leader of like Luguo, which was like Shandong at that time. And I believe three of them were sexy belly dancers from the West. Do you know what I'm saying? So we're talking about Confucius and every culture in East Asia accepts Confucianism at a different level. Like Japanese and Koreans, they tend to like bow to each other and a lot of a hierarchy and rank. But like when it comes to sex, for sure, the Chinese went hard on the listening to Kongzi. Yeah. Okay. I'm just really curious. Why do we think that we need to govern sex in the Confucius culture, you know, East Asian culture? Like, why can't we just let go and accept that as just part of humanity? But that would be so primal. That would be so primal to do that. I just think that, you know, it's still like... What's wrong with being primal? What's wrong with it? I don't think there's anything wrong with it. And I think that they probably should allow Chinese to be more primal, but I can see why they didn't too. Like I can see why they didn't, but it came at the sacrifice of individual lives. It came at the sacrifice of like individual dopamine and feeling like you could be who you wanted to be in totality and every aspect of your life. But for sure that Chinese people was all about the denial and some, you know what I mean? Like you wanted to be this, an artist, but you became like a hardcore Kwan or like a STEM person. You know what I mean? Like a accountant. It's just like, it's just in us. Whereas I think Western people would be like, you know, chase the artistry. Yeah. Yeah. But do you think it's going to change though? Because now, you know, if you look at Gen Z and if you look at modern China, people are obviously more succumb to what they truly want. Yeah. I mean, do you see that amongst like your peers and stuff like that? Like I would imagine it's changing as people kind of get out of like survivalist mode, you know, like when you're like just trying to survive and just get your money up, you're going to throw aside all the primal desires, but maybe once you achieve it, you, you get back into it. Well, I think it's two things, right? We're talking about like micro level, macro level. So I think individual level, it's very different because money, scarcity, abundance and sexuality, I think it's not really directly correlated to each other. It's not like, you know, you get richer and you're all of a sudden sexually open because it just, it's in different parts of your brain, right? So like growing up in China, the first romance movie I watched with my mom was Titanic. And, you know, there's a lot of new scenes in the movie and my mom needs to cover my eyes. So like, I couldn't really see what that was. And we also didn't have any sex education growing up, right? It's not like, you know, in high school, your teacher will be like, oh, you know, there's no, nobody ever taught us all these things. So like, I don't even know actually where I learned it from. Like, I have no idea. Like, I think that we just, to each our own, we like learn it somewhere, but then like definitely not official channel. And even today, I think the sex education is severely lacking in China. I'm not sure about other countries, but you know, definitely not as developed as it is in the West. It's slightly concerning just because, you know, obviously you kind of need to know these things to like not get to kind of understand what is safe, what is not safe. But I think people just have such a taboo around it. They don't even want to talk about it. You definitely don't get that education from a lot of parents because they also don't really know how to educate their kids. So the entire thing is really hush hush. And I think that even if you get rich, your mentality around that topic is really hard to change unless you truly want to change yourself because you understand the importance of that. So I think that that's the micro level versus, you know, like macro level as a country gets richer, what that increases is disability. You look at China, China has gotten a lot more rich in the last 20, 30 years. Do we get more sexually attractive? No, that is not the case. We probably have more engineers now, right, than before. You know what I mean? I think that maybe say, let's just say given 20, 30 years, we also start to have a lot more like K-pop stars like then maybe we have a shot at like the global stage of like being deemed as sexual. And then we felt like that is permitted. We can be that person and be cool, right? So I think that there's a lot of work to be done if you want us to have that as a micro level as well. I guess like, what do you think that Asians as a whole, but let's identify it specifically as Chinese that are the most sexually repressed out of everybody? Because like you said, like Japanese, they have these hyper-compartmentalized outlets. Koreans, I feel like, well, because Korean dudes, they really are corny, man. They'd get after it from what I see. And then Southeast Asia is different because it's less Confucian, it's more tropical. So they kind of have like, in my opinion, some quasi-Latin vibes always just due to this climate. But then like, what are Chinese people missing out on or what have they been missing out on for like 5,000 years? We're talking about sexuality, it like leaks into so many different things, right? The porn consumption, I'm not sure if China is lagging behind. If it's not lagging behind, that tells you that people still have desires, right? They might do less of an act or they might talk about it less, but it doesn't mean that they don't think about it less, right? So that's the matrix. Perhaps there are so many more matrix to look into. We're going to talk about what they think about it. And I think that there's a strong morality around what is allowed, what is not allowed to do in the Chinese culture. So one thing that's very interesting is when I was growing up, I always felt in China, they tell you, this is something you should do. You grew up being a Christian church, right? We as a country had a moral guideline like that. So you don't spit on the floor. There's like very strict guidelines of what kind of person you need to be. We need to understand, we need to remember all these things. But I always felt like it was a little unnatural because I just felt like it deprived us an opportunity to think about what is important to us individually. And when you are in a collective culture, which is very shame-based, which is very much like collective value-based, you know, there's a very little room for you to be like, maybe this is not bad. This is good because your brain was so early and a lot of things are just not allowed to talk about. So it's like, if you wanted to even get into it, you need to have an in, right? You need to be like, oh, I've seen this somewhere or people talk about it. I can talk about it, but nobody's talking about it. Everybody's saying it's bad. You don't have an in, right? So it's the same with Japanese culture. They have this kinky culture where I felt like even though in public, it's not allowed, but at least you have Love Hotel, you have AV, you know, all these things that people can get exposure to. And then because everybody's consuming these, right? So it's like, even though in public, it's not allowed-ish, but they know it's allowed, right? So I think that's very different from a culture that is just always based on public, like collective morality. Yeah. I kind of tend to think of like, not in every aspect, but Chinese are kind of like the fundamentalist Confucians. You know, how like there's different levels of like Islam, you know, there's like fundamentalist countries and more like moderate countries, Saudi Arabia or something like that, or UAE. I just feel like Chinese, when it comes to certain aspects of like censorship or primal desire repression, they're like the fundamentalist Confucians. You know what I mean? Whereas like Japan and Korea, they're Confucian too. They bow to each other a lot more. They adhere to hierarchy, but then they would like loosen up on the more primal, like humanistic side. You know what I mean? I think that China is like, it's like triple, like, you know what I mean? Because it's where Confucius is from, and then they had a cultural revolution and now they have a lot of censorship. So it's like, you're layering like censorship on censorship on censorship on censorship. That's a lot different than like layering, like America is obviously like freedom on freedom, on freedom, on freedom, or Amsterdam, even more than that, right? But like, you just look at it like layers of a cake. If you layer like three, four layers of like, not allowing people to sink their teeth into sexuality, it's like, it's gone. It's not gone, you know what I mean? It's just like, it cannot thrive. Like there's no way. It's also, I think it's just a very output-based culture where like everybody's supposed to be productive. I think that is very much ingrained in the East Asian Chinese culture, where you've got to be useful to the society, you've got to be useful to the group. And sex is inherently useless, right? People don't ascribe it any value. And so it becomes just something that you've got to, if you really wanted to be good at it, you wanted to understand it, you've got to just do yourself. And also in a very collective culture, like doing it yourself is also much harder than, you know, in an individualistic culture. So my question for you is why do men chase sexual validation even when it becomes emotionally empty? I mean, long story short, I just think guys like it a lot. Like they just like to eat a lot of different food. And even if they have one thing at home and you know, you love it, it's nutritious, but you just got to eat something different. And I think guys will sometimes just eat some gas station food or just something from the convenience store too. Or they, I'm not saying they will, but they have that thought in their mind because it's just something different and they just want to eat something different all the time. My question is why will they still chase sexual validation even when it's empty? So you're saying that like basically it's just separate for them. That's why I'm sure you must've heard that sex for guys is not that emotional. It can be, but it's like, not really. You know what I mean? For women, it's like a, like a mind, body and soul thing. But I think for guys, it's just like, man, I mean, they'll put it in a pie. Like that's the whole concept of American pie. Like a guy will put it in a pie out of the oven. That's crazy. Right? Like I don't think girls are going to want to have sex with like Android cyborgs in the future. Like the girls will probably have the Android cyborgs, like watch movies with them or talk to them about their There's already dildos. You know what I mean? Like the Tesla robots and like, you know, whatever they're making in China. Like I'm saying that the women are going to have completely different uses for the humanoid androids than guys will. I just think that that's just, we're wired. Like the guys are going to be doing all types of stuff with them and the girls are going to be more like having relationships with them. Oh, okay. Well, see, I mean, we'll see if that happens, you know, like what is a use case, et cetera, but I don't think you can have a relationship with your dildos. A dildo that's attached to like a robot that looks like the guy that you like. Yeah. But I think, okay. So, but what I'm trying to say is that the entire industry of dildo doesn't have emotions attached to it. Right. It's just like a physical act. So how do you explain that if you say that sex to a woman is like a mind, body, spirit, soul level of integration? I never thought about that question. I guess like the female gadget, private area gadget industry. But I just think that when they like, when women probably hook up with the guy, it's like something different happens than when the guy hooks up with the girl. That's what I think. I mean, that's like a common, that's pro science or whatever, but there has to be something the pheromones like meld in the air or something like that. I just think like women, like, but that's good though. I'm not saying it's good, but it's just different. I think it's different in the biology, right? Like there's something different about the way guys process sex because they think about it all the time and they need to jerk off all the time. And there's girls who don't use dildos, but there's almost like no guys who don't jack off. Yeah. I would say, I think the answer is probably like, if there is an object, like if there's a human being attached to the experience, women might experience it differently than say a man versus if there's no like human attached to the experience and just act itself, it's probably not a lot of difference. Right. But then like, we probably just have one layer more when there's human to human experience. As an Asian American man, when did you first realize race affected how people saw you sexually? Probably like kindergarten. It sounds crazy, but I used to like this one Swedish girl because I'm from Seattle. Seattle have a lot of kindergarten. You had a crush on people when you're five years. So I've been a horny dude for a while, man. I was a horny boy. I think we can all see that. Yeah. Okay. Like I used to like this one Scandinavian girl. She had like the elf look, you know, like with the blonde eyebrows and everything, like really from like Iceland type look. And then yeah, I just knew that she doesn't really like see me that way. But when, you know, when you're growing up in these, like, kind of like my elementary school was like more white. So it was just me and a bunch of white kids. And it was like the white girls, they don't really see you like that, especially at that time. I think it was different now because to me, so much of what women like is like imprinted on them through media or the first guy they kiss or the first guy they hook up with, they like sticks in their brain so much more than five years old. Yeah. I mean, I might not just not have been cool enough or good looking enough at that time. Cause you're right. Like those things don't, the racial preferences don't get imprinted till like 11 or 12. But anyway, what I'm saying is like, I just realized that like Asian men in the West and even sometimes in Asia, it depends on what circle you're in. It's not really viewed as a sexual being. You know, like if you think about sex as a carnal desire, I guess black guys would be viewed as some site type of like pit bull and like white guys might be like anywhere from like a German shepherd to a golden retriever. And then like Asian men will be perceived like a Pomeranian or like a Maltese, some of the smaller guys, even like chihuahuas. And if sexual desire is driven by something so carnal and so primal, of course you're going to go for the animals that have bigger bite strength, more muscle textures. You know what I mean? Like that's just, so I just think in the West, Asian guys got put in that Pomeranian Maltese, you know, sort of like cute, smart dog category, but not sexualized. Okay. I think it's individual choice. I do think that just from my own understanding, I thought Asian guys have a little bit of a hard time just because on one hand, you're going to be nerdy, like intellectual engineering kind of type. And on the other hand, it's like, you've got to be that like whatever to attract, to have that sex appeal to women. I think we'd probably talk about like these two things are a little bit more integrated, right? Like you don't necessarily need to be one way, like a cool jock kind of guy to get girls. Even if you're like super smart and like people acknowledge, and they also like intellectual sexiness, right? Yeah. Cause sometimes the girls, they like reading like reports and stuff too. Like it's, you know what I mean? Like there could be a girl in China who's like, wow, he read that report so good. I love reading reports. We go together. You know what I mean? Because like the archetype just is produced, you know, that STEM centric, like intellectual, it's just like, it's a probable outcome of the system. Yeah. Well, if you look at, you know, the Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, I mean, like Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, even though they're white, right? They also attract certain kinds of women because of their brain power. DTE probably has less to do with your racial profile, probably has more to do with your physique and how you carry yourself and you know, like your size and all these things and your demeanor. So I think that Asian guys are a little bit disadvantaged physically, but as we all know, now Chinese guys are really tall in China. So the future might be very different, right? They might have brain power as well as physical power at the same time. I think the guys are definitely going to be taller and they're going to be weight buffer, but it depends on the coaching from the fathers at the end of the day. If the fathers don't coach everybody to navigate the West sexually, it's just probably still not going to happen. Because even though I know some of those really tall buff Chinese guys, they kind of still are like kind of more laid back when it comes to getting women. And, but they have such like a strong physique and like so much height and like maybe a sculpted face that they can still get enough like deal flow just being that way. You know what I mean? Like they don't need to go out and like knock on doors and like be, do hard marketing. I just think there's just something that's not in the Chinese guy is different. Like a tall buff Korean guy, I think is going to try to get after it and smash as many women as he can. Japanese, it could go either way depending on how geeky they are. But a Chinese guy, even if they got those stats, to be honest, they just, the lowest probability they're going to be a dog. Like they just not hunting like that. It's just, it has to do with the machismo or like, like you said, like what is validation to you? You know what I mean? Like, I think that guy would just be like, yeah, I'm valid because I am tall and I'm strong. Like look at how the women look at me. He's not thinking like, he's thinking to that level. He's not thinking like, yo, I got to get with like 10 girls this week to spread my chi. I'm not saying there's none that are like that. I got a friend, I don't want to shout them out here, but maybe I will. My friend Jack, he's definitely like that. He's really tall. He's a model, but like, yeah, I'm saying shout out to Jack. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to Jack. But like, I just think a lot of guys that even with those, like quote unquote could do it. They just, they just kind of soft. Yeah. I do think that maybe there's a little bit difference in, you know, different ethnicity groups, each other as well. I think Han tend to be very intellectual versus if you look at like the, the Manchurians or like the Mongolians, you know, like, they're also a little bit more proud of it. Right. Like I think for Han people, it's almost an insult if you're telling them that they're like animal, they think they're above it, that they should be valued for the intellectuals. Especially historically speaking, intellectual is like the highest class in China. I don't know whether it's also come down to the fact that people are already satisfied with the symbol of sex instead of the sex itself. If they are in that society, they already know they're the top of the rank. It's like, does that really matter for them to satisfy their sexual desire? Like all the time? Or like the fact that they know they can deem to be the top, right? Like that's already enough. And to be honest with you, like when a society is developing so fast and as we're just talking about it, it's such an output heavy society. Everybody's working all the time. Are you building businesses, building AI startups? Do you have time to have sex all the time? You got to choose your battle. Do you want to use your big hat? Do you want to use your small hat? You can't choose both. Sometimes you're going to sacrifice. So I think that that's also like a part of the reason probably why they don't care about it as much. Yeah. So do you think that like Chinese people are missing out on a big part of humanity by kind of like pouring everything into like, let's say like life is made out of like five different cups, right? We kind of, Chinese culture typically takes one big pitcher of water and pours it into like money, education, maybe some sort of accolades or status. And then maybe like if sex or like personal things is one cup or like whatever, like a community, like they don't really pour a lot into those two other cups. They would rather overflow the other cups as opposed to holistically pouring them at like level seven all around. I think it's a little bit of an unfair question because in order to answer that question, it's like the person almost need to understand that what are their options, right? So like if you are born into a society that by default doesn't show you a ton of other options, you don't know that even if you were to be the winner of that society, you don't know if you will be happier in a society where there's more options in front of you and you can choose and pick more. So there's a lot of biases in this equation just simply because like when you're suppressed and you choose to be suppressed, it's a different kind of freedom than say, if you don't even know you're suppressed and because of that, you cannot choose. It's hard to say whether they're definitely missing out, right? Sexually suppressed, they don't talk about it as much. Obviously, objectively speaking, they're missing out. Do they know they're missing out? Do they know they're missing out? Therefore, they want to try and they're like, well, this is a better life than I used to have or be like, I don't really want it. I want to go back. You know, you never know until they're given that option and they execute it and they reach their own conclusion. A lot of people wasted their potential because they don't really know what they're missing out. Yeah. Do you think that that's why so many Chinese women, I mean, Asian women in general, but I want to say Chinese women, maybe the most like don't like they're not really into Chinese guys. Like I see a lot of obviously it's not all right. It depends on what you value and what you get in the community. But a lot of the more sexual Chinese girls, I would say like in a way it might be seven, eight out of 10 of them go with non-Asian or go with a non-Chinese guy at least. I don't know because I don't think I'm like ever something like that. In Singapore, for example, these girls called SPG. So what means is that basically that girls who are only interested in white guys are like they date white guys, right? I always find this a little bit weird because just from a genetic perspective, you should be attracted to people who are genetically more similar to you. Genetically speaking, they should be attracted more to Asian guys because Asian guys are genetically more similar to them. So I felt like a lot of these desires based on social status that somehow they accepted that in a certain society or like maybe white guys have higher social status. I mean, that's one example. Another thing I think is that some girls they do find being with Westerners liberate them a little bit more. So let's just say if you're a super suppressed Chinese girl, you're being taught that you're going to be good your entire life. You can be anything other than study hard, work hard and have kids and whatnot. But then you're with a Westerner and the Westerner encourages you to find yourself, encourages you to have hobbies. I mean, that is, to me, just a very different way of living, right? So maybe they want to reject the culture a little bit. And then in order to do that, they find this portal for them to latch on to. And so that has nothing to do with the social status. It's more like they just want to have a different culture. And so I think there's a different reasons in that. I think Chinese people also score much higher. Surprisingly, I think the score is quite high in open-mindedness. If you have more open-minded or like your culture permits you to have a more open mind. Because if you think about it, a lot of Japanese women, I think most of them are like housewives. So you don't really have economic freedom, right? You probably don't see that much, right? Because you don't work and you don't necessarily know any other things other than your housewife bubble. That is very different from, say, to have an international career and understand you can go to this place, you can be with that person, all these different things. So all these go together. I think that the fact that Chinese girls are open-minded, international, they got to explore all these things, help a lot with that choice. Yeah, for sure. For sure. So do you think that Chinese guys bitter about that, that the girls can go around the world and then they are not? You tell me. You tell me whether you guys are bitter about it. To be honest, I'll tell you this. I think that Chinese guys, it's like been so uneven our whole lives, we can't even be bitter about it. That's like a short guy being bitter about being short. You know what I mean? Like if you've been short your whole life, but like a midget your whole life, you got to just deal with it. You know what I mean? I think that that's the situation of like Chinese guys. It's almost like when we look at the fluidity that the women have in the Western world or even just overly that we don't have socially or sexually, it's almost like something that is so accepted, it's not even worth talking about when we are together. It's like when something is like, I always say this, like when something's like nine levels of difference, it's like when something is close, that's when the tension is there, right? Because people are like, when something's like nine levels, like I've never seen Asian guys complain about not being in the NFL. Like the NFL is full of like guys that are like 300 pounds, like pure muscle, right? I never see them complain about it because they don't think it's even possible, right? But like you do see Asian guys be like, I wish I could get into NBA because they care about the NBA and they feel like some Asian guys did be in the NBA. It's more achievable. Yeah, it's more close. I think that the gap between Asian Chinese female sexuality and Chinese male sexuality is so big. I'm like, guys can't even talk about it. But do you think Asian men expect loyalty from Asian women because they feel sexually accumulated in the West? I think they did at some point, probably like in the 1800s or 1900s, but like not anymore. Not anymore. I think that it's just so like foregone. I think Asian guys have almost accepted that we have placed ourselves sexually as a worse version of a white guy. I'm not saying that we are, but if you look at corporate America, it sounds un-PC to say, but there's only really two races. There's only white and Asian. Once you get past a certain level in corporate worlds, right? So it's like, who's more dominant? More like Indian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's three. There's three. There's three. Okay. So if you count India as the South Asian or whatever you call it. So I'm saying there's only three groups in the corporate world. Once you get past a mid-level, it's like white, Asian, Indian, right? So it's like, I'm saying that I feel like the white Asian guys have positioned themselves as a more like beta, less alpha version of whites. So if a girl is like corporate minded and she only has sex with corporate people, like people, part of that ecosystem, Asian guys already slotted themselves in a different lane at the bottom of that totem pole. Whereas like, I would say like other groups, they might exist, exist in a completely different totem pole. So I think that's like the thing where I'm just like, ----, I don't know if that's what we picked. And then we got slotted in the third position, but we got in the totem pole we wanted to get into. Then I don't know how people can really be mad about it, but it's, it is unfortunate. I do see anger. You know what I mean? Like you see some, everybody knows that what happened. Yeah. Well, also this survey on Tinder saying that for women, the top is white girls and Asian girls and the bottom is black girls. And for men is the top is I think white guys and the bottom is Asian guys. So with that ranking, it's like Asian guys go with black girls, but that doesn't happen. Right. That's just, yeah. Yeah. You don't see it happen to be honest. You don't see it happen that often. Like, but not that I've, I've never seen it. Like I didn't, I know guys who date black girls. Like half Cuban. Here's the thing about sexuality. You can't even get into questions of realizing sexual actualization until you get enough repetition. And, and I think a lot of Asian guys and Asian eyes, Asian girls that are not with the Western crowd, they're not even going to get enough reps throughout their life to develop a sexual identity. Not only did people not give them permission to have the concept of like, am I like Eros, this Greek goddess of sex or Aphrodite or, you know, Cleopatra or whatever Greek mythology, Roman mythology, they have all these like sex gods and ----. It's like, that's more easily relatable to Eros than to a Fox, to a witch Fox in Chinese folklore. That's like, I don't even make any sense. I just think that you need so much like sexual therapy and sexual therapists and sexual psychology, to your point, like IQ coaching, to even get to the point of like, what is Chinese sexuality? Like, I can't even tell you that because we haven't even gone through that metamorphosis phase from like caterpillar to butterfly yet. And then it's almost like, if you were still the caterpillar and everybody's like, yo, what are you going to look like when you're a butterfly? I'm like, I have no idea. It's still a caterpillar. We don't know. I think that we are just a very cerebral race where like, we tend to live our lives from the neck up and then we don't really embody our life, right? Like, but I think that sex or just kind of like having a little bit of sexual education about yourself, it could be a very good experience because it really frees up your life force, right? You become more confident, you become more creative. All these things are linked to having that life force building your body, like having Does it come from the female orgasm? Is that what you're referring to? What does like awakening your sexual self even mean? I think it's just like understand how your body functions. I was a terrible dancer. I just didn't really care about it before. Because I thought just like a lot of other Chinese people, all these like artsy, whatever stuff is not important until like I went to body and I took some DJ classes and started dance and I felt like there's a huge difference between having the satisfaction from the knowledge I learned something new or solve this technical problem or not versus just be in your body and feel like you can feel the joy directly in your body. That is a form of somatic experience, dance. And sex is another form of somatic experience. It's all about not using your brain, but just like to explore your own body as this entity of sensations. It comes back to our argument of, but you also don't know how that feels, right? So in order for you to make a really good decision about what kind of life I want to have, you need to experience all things, like logically speaking, and then pick and choose what you want. So I think that from that perspective, if you wanted to live a full life, this is a very necessary experience to be like, how can I do this? Because this is not just a reproduction. I think that a lot like China these days actually started to also move from sex as a reproduction to recreation. So they started to also see as entertainment. And I think that's a really good change. I'm not sure what's going to happen in the future, but I think one of the reasons why it was such a turn off for people to even explore that area was because sex, like historically speaking, doesn't matter whether it's in the religion or in certain social contract, was always viewed as a task. And you can have pleasure, entertainment, and tax wrapped together. Yeah. I also think in China, like it was more viewed as something for the elites to indulge in. You know what I mean? Like the elites, like if you look at some of the paintings from like certain dynasties, they were more or less sexual, but it was always like only the elites could have it, like none to your point of like the bottom 90% of society. So I think that was an aspect, but I guess what you're referring to, in my opinion, is like from what I know, your prefrontal right, which is your logical mass stem brain. And then you have your amygdala in the back of your cranium, which is your lizard brain, which all animals have an amygdala too. And then you have your chakras, which is obviously up for debate, right? Like lower chakras tend to be more sexual or more primal. Yeah. Yeah. Like what 808s, like eight, that's like what Kanye was always talking about, like 808 drums, like stimulate your chakra and stuff like that. And like, I guess what I'm saying is what you were talking about, like DJ and dancing with the deep, that's just so un-Chinese because you're getting in touch with amygdala and you're getting in touch with your chakras. If you Chinese are like almost all like 97%, like maybe they put like amygdala 97% in the prefrontal. Okay. So again, depends on what you value, but I think that there's different forms of intelligence. So your body has its own intelligence as well. And your mind has its intelligence as well. And once you are attuned with your body, you start to have more developed intuition and you start to understand yourself better because like, I think the nervous system was developed and your brain is much more of a recent development than your body, right? Your guts and all these has a lot to do with your primal desire and, you know, you as an animal instead of a intellectual being. So if you're only using your prefrontal lobe, you're basically writing off a lot of your ancient wisdom and why would you want to do that? Like that's available to all of us, right? And I think that you can't really say that this is useless if you don't even know what useful is, you know what I mean? Like if your definition of certain things is useful, it's because somebody else told you that, how could you know they're right? Why don't you also explore for yourself to see what is useful for I think it also depends on how you want to live your life. I always think that if you want to be really competitive, you need to be yourself because nobody's going to be able to compete with you better than you. And if you're just going to play everybody else's game or you're just going to be one of many, but if you know your own game, you're going to be one of one. So why don't you want to explore more of yourself and be like, where can I be the most competitive? Because I can beat other people in this arena and not that, you know what I mean? I felt like that's just more strategic, but in a higher level, but obviously not everybody's like that. And that's why they spend all their time running a rat race and kudos to them, right? If everybody's as strategic that we're also playing a horror game. But I do think that in a collective society, that's what they're taught, but that's what's available to them. But which also means, you know, like there's a lot of waste in the potentials. If all they want to get is societal approval, that's enough, right? You don't necessarily need to explore all these things because it is a short-term waste of time, but long-term, I believe will really set you up for a victory. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I think Asian Chinese guys probably have a lower ratio of guys that are like exploring the full radar map than women just due to capacity to do so. But then I also thought about it and I was like, man, you know, if you look at Chinese culture, the way they tap the amygdala is like more through food or more through gambling. Like, you know, going in food, it will still tap your amygdala because those are primal things that create short-term. I have a theory. I think people who are foodies, they really love different kind of food. They're very adventurous and they also like gambling. These people have a lot of sex drive. I just think all these things are like, it just means that they love to go with their sensation, you know? So like sex is sensational, right? So if you're always living in your brain and you're like, I just like to explore some theory, you're not going to be able to like be a huge foodie and be a big, big gambler and you're not going to have impulse. So I think that is one way I judge a person, you know, to see what is important to them. I agree that all those things could fall under hedonism, but I will say that I see a lot of like married people lean into like fashion or design or food or gambling as a way to channel their sexual desires that they can no longer explore. So I agree with you, but also what I'm saying is like sometimes when you kill the sex desire, it could reroute through other outlets or like other release steam valves. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. But it's just a form of life force, right? And then so it's, you know, however you want to route it. In China, it's like, you know, a lot of guys will have mistresses and whatnot. Somehow like having mistresses in China is just like a lot more acceptable. Maybe they don't have a developed porn industry like Japan or whatever, but maybe they have more outlets, you know, in other ways. Like porn magazine or like porn rental stores where like guys go in to relieve themselves. That's never going to exist in China. I think that's why Chinese guys got to go to Japan or they got to go to Southeast Asia to see something more outside the lines. Japan is very interesting because I just felt like they really kind of niche down the sex, like fantasy and fetish, like every lane is institutionalized, right? Or like they have like so many freaking stuff and every single one of them, we can probably take a place and go to get your needs met. Who knows? Maybe that's going to happen in China, you know, like in the age of robotics and AI. But if you know, this is a quick aside, but if you look at Japanese historically, they were always the loosest of all the Confucian Sino cultures with sex. It would be probably Japan and Vietnam would be the more like looser ones. And then Korea used to be super strict and now has turned into like American hookup culture. And China's just almost forever been strict. Like, I don't remember. I don't think there was a ratchet time in China's history ever, to be honest. Like if you really look at it, and that's why China has the image that it has right of being like this hyperproductive, but not necessarily like super fun that a lot of people would want to fully adopt the whole system from. Yeah. And I think that sometimes, you know, if you change an object, for example, I wonder if there's a difference, for example, if like a Japanese girls with a Japanese guy versus a Japanese girls with a black guy, you know what I mean? It's like, if they see you as more of a sexual object, will that change how they behave around you as well? Right? Like, you know, if a Chinese girl is not around a Chinese guy, maybe they also feel like they're more permitted to be somebody else that they're not. Maybe they felt like, well, because it's a Chinese guy and they will be if they're like studying, they don't want to be like that. So like, I felt like maybe there's a little bit of a censorship that's going on, like in group as well. For sure. For sure. I used to be like so frustrated at the situation of like Asian guys when it came to the sexual marketplace value, especially in America. But like the older I get and the more I understand about how much goes into it. Like you said, like even women feeling like more permissible to tap into their lower chakras with like people who are not from the same sort of like repressive tribe, like that aspect of society. I kind of just realized it was just a really logical outcome. You know what I mean? Like you take this like hyper brainiac race or like just culture of people, civilization of people, and you put them in the West, which is kind of a weird mix of a lot of things. It's kind of wild, kind of brainy. It's kind of like warrior, kind of beta. It's like all these ******* things like mixed together at a 10 out of 10 level. And they just end up getting slotted into this like sage, quant, you know what I mean? At least the men. Us, we get slotted into like sage, quant, like foreigner, almost like Spock. You know, like Spock in Star Trek, he never had girls. I think that also just the role that female plays in sex versus man is very different, right? Because for a guy, you gotta be very proactive. You gotta lead the act versus a girl is okay if they're also just submissive. And I think that because Asian guys and girls share a lot of very similar characters, such as we don't have a lot of body hair. Physically, we're a little bit shorter, smaller. We are more mild mannered. All these things like sexually favor women and not guy, right? So that's why I felt like women are hyper sexualized and guys are just not sexualized at all in the West. Yeah, I do think there was a lot of neoteny. Neoteny is like appearing to be a baby, whereas that plays really well for women. If you're a very neotenous male, it generally doesn't play very well in a global marketplace because they like really striking sort of dramatic facial depth and things like that. So I think that that is under... I will say when the woke crowd in the US talks about Asian male representation and anti-misogyny laws and all this stuff like that, it's like, yeah, that stuff is real, but it's just like, if you are perceived as the Pomeranian in the dog park and then there's like all these other dogs, like a German Shepherd as an option, a Rottweiler, a Pitbull, you know what I mean? There's like all these other dogs and the Pomeranian is the best behaved show dog that got the best score at the Westminster dog show. That's just not necessarily sexual in the West. If we are in the East and everybody's a Pomeranian, the Pomeranians are going to rank each other differently. They'll just be like, who's the best show dog? Because we're all show dogs. But maybe these little Pomeranian females, they want to try out some bigger dogs. You know what I mean? It's as easy as that to explain sort of why I guess Asian women in the West would have such a much wider range of sexual experiences typically than guys would. To be honest, we're talking about dick size, right? And if you're looking at Indians' dick size, obviously they're Asian too, they're on the smaller size. But if you see how many of them have interracial relationships with white people, or other girls from outside of their race, you will understand that it's not about penis. It's not about the dick size. Do you self-identify as a Pom? Or do you self-identify as a bigger dog, right? So that self-perception, self-identity, and how you carry yourself is probably just as important as your physique. I know what you're saying. It's both. It's both because a lot of stuff is both on positive feedback loops too. You know what I mean? Without the actual reps going your way and material positive outcomes, it's very difficult to develop a self-identity. If you tell a smaller Asian nerdy guy who never got treated sexually his whole life, yeah, just see yourself like a James Bond Latino lover, like Alex Rodriguez archetype. You know what I mean? See yourself as Ronaldo. It's just not going to work. You know what I mean? Ronaldo is Ronaldo, Alex Rodriguez is Alex Rodriguez, or Ryan Garcia, whoever it is. You know what I mean? It's very difficult to project that. But to your point, I do think that some Indian guys really believe that about themselves. It has a lot to do with your self-belief. Jack Ma is super small and tiny and not very good looking, but he was able to get out with the most pretty girl of his college class, and also was able to persuade six, seven people for them to put money into Alibaba and also work for him to start Alibaba. I mean, for somebody with that physique, that is very hard, right? So there's got to be something else that's also going on. And I felt like that is probably something that Asian guys want to develop in the future, because you just cannot change whatever you cannot control. And the only thing you can control is anything beyond your existing physique and how other people might perceive you, right? Separation of victim mentality, because blaming Asian girls and whatever, that's just not going to work, right? They're going to do whatever they need to do to get an upper hand in this game. So that's not productive, right? And you also cannot change your size and whatnot that you're born with. So there's going to be something else. And I think that that probably needs to happen in the future, whether from a country level, a race level, or just from individual belief. Yeah, for sure. For sure. I mean, I just think that if we look at the macro outcomes, like across like 100 million people, probably the shifting of masculinity or sexuality is not changing. I don't really see it shifting for females. I don't really see it shifting for males. But I think within that, there still could be a lot of guys that figure it out more. I think the younger guys, they're figuring it out more. And then people are more open to them. You know for Asian guys, especially Chinese guys in the West, but even in China sometimes, it's almost like they're so far out of the game that I think that they don't even consider being in the game. I just think that Chinese male masculinity, there's such a history of eunuchs chopping off their dick to rise up the imperial court hierarchy, pyramid ladder structure and stuff like that. It's just so extreme that a lot of people cannot grasp it. And I think the more research I did, the more the outcomes of Chinese males in the West sexually really made more sense to me. Yeah, well, I think that maybe the conclusion is that just as a race, as a school of thought, if you're talking about Confucianism, it's like we just value so many things more than sex, your sexual desire, and we're able to control or suppress that in order to achieve the rest of the stuff. Eunuchs is a perfect example in that. But I think the question is, can we also balance it? Instead of suppression and completely getting rid of deprioritizing one thing, can we also just be more balanced as a human being and realize that maybe there is more wisdom we can get from the balance as well. And then we don't need to go one way that extreme to be good at it. I think that might be the number one thing that AI could help Chinese people figure out, is how to have some release valves and use the amygdala and the lower chakras more. I would say I fully agree with you there. Part of me is like, I don't know how it's going to play out, you know what I mean? But I know that since Chinese, especially, we're not going to go to sexual therapists in IRL, maybe the AI can be, you know what I mean, like a good enough transformative tool. Yeah, well, definitely see that all the robots are coming from China anyway. So we'll see how much kinks we have from the invention. I don't know. I always think that to a lot of people in the world, and sometimes even other Asians, if I was to be completely frank, I think that Chinese feel the most alien out of everybody. We just had a dinner with a Korean girl the other day, and she was just talking about how she feels like China was a bunch of aliens. And a lot of Korean culture came from ancient China, but she felt like Chinese were just so different from the rest of the world. You know what I mean? And I just feel like that is pretty true. I'm just like, yeah, nah, it's different, man. Whatever it is, all these things we're talking about, and all these hopes of maybe blind spots that could fill in, I'm like, I hope so, but I don't know. We're just very detached, right? The number one thing I would say when I'm talking to a lot of my Chinese friends is that I felt like they don't really take a lot of things personally, because you know how when you do meditation, the first thing you're going to learn is to be an observer of your own thought process. So it's almost like you're observing how you think about things instead of just thinking about things. And I think that a lot of us naturally embody that character, so that you constantly, even if you're thinking a certain way, if another person's like, hey, but you're also thinking that way, they also were thinking that way, because they don't take their own thought process as seriously as being identified with it. And I think that a lot of times, if you're looking at the U.S. walkism culture, or be like, are you a Republican, are you a Democrat, that dichotomy, it's almost like people just identify with whatever party, but what if you can also change anytime, right? And that one thing that I learned growing up is that we're always taught to think about one thing in two different ways, right? The good way, the bad way, the yin and the yang, and that's like the Taoism as well. We never were encouraged to think only one way, and it's like the extreme. And the goal in the end is always to achieve the balance of views, and to understand one thing from different angles. And I think that that has very much helped you to have that detachment of things, and as a result of it, you can say we're more robot-like, but I also think that because of that, harmony is easier to achieve, because people tend to not be that extreme at the end of the day. And I think that that's just a higher form of intelligence, if you were to ask me. Yeah. I mean, I'm trying to think of all the episodes that I saw. Did you ever watch Star Trek? There's all these episodes about Spock trying to feel something human. I'm not a geek like you. I think Star Trek is for a lot of geeks. No, Spock is based off Chinese people. Spock is a mixture of Japanese and Chinese culture, if you really look at it. He's referred to as Chinese in the first couple of scripts of Star Trek. And he's half Vulcan, and he's half human, but the Vulcans are a hyper-rational, zero-emotion ring in Star Trek. And Spock is a hybrid. So there's all these episodes of Spock trying to find his human side, or there's this other robot. I don't know if he's half human, called Data. And Data is like... They're these cyborg helpers to the white guy, Captain Kirk, who's like, you're very foolhardy, but valiant, leadership, very typical white guy. And then, yeah, I feel like that's what this whole discussion has been about. Is Spock or is Data the Vulcan who's going to develop some human traits? Yeah. Well, seeing me like that, you will definitely see something changing in the sex department. Yeah, yeah. I know we could have got really into the nuts and bolts of sex, but I think that the overarching thing that governs sex is how in tune with the sexual side of humanity, aren't you? I do think that if Chinese females are more attuned with their own sexuality, they can also be more feminine. And there's a lot of feminine energy that is being suppressed just because the person is not liberated in that sense. Chinese girls treat the most like guys out of all Asian women. Yeah, yeah. Just a very high control culture. And you see that in women and men in different ways. But I think that in order to have liberation sexually, you kind of need to forgo need for control. And that's very, very hard for Asian Chinese women, right? But it's so funny because if you look up Asian sexuality, there's so many topics that tie back into this. Even Chinese developing soft power. If Chinese are more frontal lobe loaded than other people, that means their content and their soft power will never appeal to them because it's never thinking on the same wavelength as everybody else. Do you want this? Operating on a completely different geometric plane. So of course they cannot develop soft power because the content cannot even like seep into the other people's hearts or minds. But I can tell you this, they are developing it because then they start to realize it matters for their money. They realize that the traditional way of making money to like engineer everything to make a best product, that's just not enough anymore. That is into their bottom line because everybody is super competitive. So now they're exploring the new frontier because they realize that soft power makes more money. And that actually not just make them more money, but that would determine who's going to survive in the future, right? Everything was made in Japan, but then Toyota became Toyota. There's a lot of other Toyota adjacent companies die because they don't have that soft power. So I think the same thing is going to happen in China as well. It's just a repetition of history. Like now they're incentivized to develop that soft power. It doesn't mean that they don't have it. It just means that they never used that muscle. They never needed to use it until now. Yeah, no, I agree. I agree. And it'll be really interesting to see what it looks like. You know, I think right now a lot of Chinese stuff is going viral in the West for just feeling so different. You know, I think Japanese stuff in the 90s, it felt like really quirky and off the wall and like really like cartoonish in a way that people had never seen before. But like the Chinese stuff that's going viral on Instagram right now, it's almost just like a different level. Different. Yeah. Well, thanks so much on another very spicy topic with me today. If this conversation sparked something in you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you are building a more true life, not just more impressive, we will love to hear your story. Follow us on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok at Asian Rebel Club and join our newsletter for more ways to connect link.