"Miss Stevens" Monologue

You're going to hear the truth, what you are, and what I am. I've never told the truth for ten minutes in this house. I'm an irritant woman. I'm a sissy. Do you want to know why I had no address for three months? Because I stole a suit, had to sing, and was in jail. Now I stole myself out of every good job since high school. And I never got anywhere. Because you blew me so full of hot air that I couldn't stand taking orders from anybody. That's who's fault it is. I'm an idiot. I ran down eleven flights with a pen in my hand today. Suddenly I stopped, hear me? And in the middle of the office building, do you hear this? I stopped in the middle of the building and I saw this. I saw everything I love in this world. The work. And the food. The time spent. The sex. I looked down at the pen and I thought to myself, what the heck am I grabbing this for, huh? Why am I trying to become what I don't want to be? Why am I sitting in an office making a contemptuous begging fool of myself when all that I want is out there waiting for me the second I say I know who I am? Why can't I say that, Willie? Pop, look at me. I'm a dime a dozen. I'm not a leader of men, Willie, and neither are you. You are nothing but a hardworking drummer who ended up in the ash can like the rest. For an hour, Willie, I went to seven states and I couldn't raise it. One buck an hour. Do you gather my meaning? I'm not bringing home prizes, Willie. You've got to stop bringing home the things that you're not. I am nothing. I am what I am.