1 Year on YouTube: Controversy, How it All Started & My Family

So my one year anniversary of being on YouTube was Friday. Yeah, two days ago. November 17th, 2016 was the first day I ever posted a video. I set up my channel a few months before that, but that was the first day that I published my first video. And if anybody would have told me when I published that first video that here I'd be a year later being a full-time YouTuber, I don't think I would have believed it. That was not my goal, believe it or not. And so today I'm just going to answer a couple questions that I get a lot about YouTube. I figured it was appropriate to answer the questions I get about YouTube. And so if you are here for RV travel stuff only, you may not be interested in this video, but you know a lot of you like my stories. And a lot of you just like, you know, you're curious about the life of a YouTuber. Many of you are thinking about being on YouTube someday. And a lot of you just like hearing stories. And so I'm going to share my story of how I got started and how it all came about. I'm going to answer a couple questions along the way, kind of intrinsic in that story of I get asked all the time, if I had to do it over again, would I? Given all of the challenges about being on YouTube and what would I do differently? So I'm going to answer those two questions as I go along and tell the story. And I'm keeping an eye on Capone. And I think the first question about would I, would I do it? And, you know, I've been thinking about that a lot the last several days, the last several months. And, you know, as you know, my life about living in an RV was to live a simpler life. I was living in the Bay Area, making good money and living paycheck to paycheck. And so what I wanted to do was live on the road with, with less overhead, less expenses. You know, I always plan on working. I just didn't want to have to work 50 hours a week just to pay rent, you know? So that, that was my goal, you know, really to have a more relaxed life and have more time to write, which was then my creative output. And so that was really my goal. What I didn't expect because, you know, I'd spent the last eight years building a business and anybody who's ever built a business knows, I think it's Barbara Corcoran or the other, I can't remember the other woman. There's a famous, no, it's the other one. Oh, I can't remember her name. The QVC queen. There's a famous quote by her that says, the luxury of being an entrepreneur is you get to And that is so true, especially when you're first building. And you know, for me, seven years, you're constantly building, you're constantly growing your, your, it's just a lot of work. And so I really, at one point in my life, I thought I wanted a multimillion dollar business. I really did. I thought, you know, yeah, I want to be on the covers, Forbes of Entrepreneur of the grandiose ideas. Hiking the John Muir trail really changed my life and really changed my perspective. And I think really opened me up to who I truly am and who I am truly meant to be. And I have been working since I was 13 years old. I worked multiple jobs to put myself through college. I bought my first car myself. I mean, I've never, nothing has ever been given to me. I've worked really, really hard for everything I have supported, you know, my ex-husband for the first year of our relationship much longer than I should have. I mean, I have been working really hard my whole life. And at 40 something years old, I was looking at my business and what it would take to be a multimillion dollar business. And I'm like, do I really have that energy anymore? Do I really, more importantly, do I have that drive? Do I want to devote myself for the next 10 years to what it takes? And once I started backpacking and traveling, that answer was no, I didn't. I wanted to find a way to spend more time doing the things I love recreationally. I love work. You know, just ask anybody who hangs out with me. I love to work. I work a lot. I come from a workaholic and I, there's more to life than work. And I wanted to be able to be, have the freedom to explore some of my passions, travel and backpacking. And that was my whole purpose of moving in into an RV. I really just wanted to cut my expenses so that I could afford to travel more and just be closer to nature on a regular basis. And I really just wanted to earn enough to save for retirement and to live in an RV and travel and do the things that I love to do. And I was going to do that with my consulting business. And I also wanted to be away from TV and along with a lot of the stimulus and a lot of the rat race so that I could write more. And that's really where I thought my creativity was going to flourish. And so I really didn't think at first about making YouTube videos. And it really wasn't until, you know, I had my website going, I had my blog, I was doing social media. And I don't know, I think maybe somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that eventually I might want to try videos. I never thought that it would pay the bills. And so it really wasn't until I went to the summer RTR, the first RTR that I went to in Flagstaff, Arizona, and I met Bob Wells. And I started learning more about YouTube. And what really attracted me was seeing the difference that he was making in people's lives and seeing his commitment to really helping people and really changing lives. And that really got me thinking again about my story. And I always thought that my story was going to come out in a book. And for the first time, I started thinking, well, maybe this is the venue for my story. Being in an RV as a, you know, middle-aged woman dropping out of the rat race of the San Francisco Bay Area, that's all a part of my story. And so maybe nobody else is doing videos like this. And so I started thinking, maybe I should get serious about doing some videos. And of course, my friend Bob encouraged me. And he really wanted to help me, you know, very early on. I'd ask questions and just kind of watch him to see what he was doing and look at the kind of videos he was making, because that's what I do as just as a person. I'm curious as a marketer, talk about personally. And I've said before that I didn't have people growing up. So I learned how to be a human being by watching people, like literally, like, you know, people that they don't even know they were my mentors, but I watched people and I said, okay, that's how I want to act. That's how I want to dress. That's how I want to be professionally. That's how I want to do this. That's how I want to do that. And I studied people and that's what I do. I study and that's how I become what I want to become. And so I studied Nomadic Fanatic. I studied Pippi Peterson. I studied Bob Wells and I said, okay, so where am I going to fit into the conversation of nomads online? Bob's doing his interviews and his patriarchal godly thing, you know, saying I'm going to save the world. Nomadic Fanatic is Nomadic Fanatic. You know, he travels and, you know, he really was the pioneer who led the way for a lot of us. And we all are learning from him and his mistakes. And I would not want to be him. He has gone through a lot and we, I feel I owe a lot of gratitude to him because he's taught me a lot of what to do and more importantly, what not to do. And then of course, Pippi Peterson being the most popular woman, single solo woman that I saw and her how-to videos, which I drew upon. And so I studied all of these influences and I said, and I started thinking, well, where am I going to fit in? What is my difference going to be? And anybody who's purchased my ebook, How to Get 20,000 Subscribers in 40 Days, here's some free advice for you. This is what it takes to build a successful YouTube channel. This is part of the marketing strategy. I did not post a single video until I knew what my message was going to be, how I was going to be different from everybody else on YouTube. Those things are really important. If you don't know how you're going to be different than, or how you're going to stand out, then why would anybody want to watch you over the other 50 million channels out there? And so I really had to wrap my head around those concepts before I could even think about shooting a video. And I shot a couple of practice videos, you know, along the months. I think I set up my YouTube channel in July, thinking that eventually I might post videos. And Bob kept encouraging me every time he'd see me, you know, we travel for a couple of weeks and then we not see each other for a month and he'd come back and he'd be like, have you posted a video yet? And she's like, no. And he wanted to help me. He kept saying, let's do a video. Let's do some videos together. I think we could be a really good team. And I kept saying, no, no, I really need to figure out what I want to do for me. And, um, you know, he's such a kind, caring, loving person that he really wanted to help me succeed. And I said, no, I've done everything on my own in my life. I need to do this on my own too. And in fact, when, uh, he did my, my rig tour and interview at the summer RTR in June of 2016, I would not let him even post that video until after my channel was up and running and had already taken off. I don't think he posted that until like January of this year after my channel already started. And I had like 20,000 subscribers. I didn't want any help from him. And, um, it was hard. He kept wanting to put me in his videos. And when I got stuck in Oregon, you know, when he pulled me out, I couldn't say no to that. So it was kind of hard, but that's just who I am. I really just wanted to do this on my own. And, uh, and when I, when I posted my first three videos, um, he was, he couldn't believe it. He was just dumbfounded. My first video got, I think 80,000 hits within a few weeks. My second video got like 40,000 hits within a couple of weeks. My third video, 80,000, a hundred thousand. And those videos now are all over a hundred thousand, 200,000, 300,000 views. My fifth video went viral. My fifth video, um, is now over a million. And I think a million and a half views. And so my channel and my message really just kind of took off. Uh, and I knew that's what I had to wait for that, that concept, that idea of how do I want to position my story? Who do I want to reach? And I knew that I wanted to reach women like me, women who had been told all our lives that we had to live and men too, you know, I mean, there are men I do. I, some of my message is also very clear to men. And that's why I have so many wonderful men in my audience too, but it really is personal because I'm a woman. So it really is about women. And a lot of the challenges we've faced and women of our age about, um, you know, needing to get married, needing to have a family and needing to have kids and needing to have a career. And, you know, all of these things that a lot of us struggle with. And so I knew that my message was going to resonate. I didn't know that it was going to resonate quite as, as much as it did. And I had no idea my channel was going to take off as fast as it did. I think that I thought eventually I might make a little extra money to supplement my income and maybe take on less project work. Um, and I'm going to be honest with you, viral videos, that's where the money is. So that's the fifth video of mine that went viral. I'm like, cha-ching, that video made me a lot of money. Um, and I was like, yeah, okay. But if viral videos were easy, everybody would be doing it. They are not easy. And I have tried, I have done as a marker, um, what, uh, test track and measure are the three keys to successful marketing. You want to, you want to test everything. You want to track everything and you want to measure what works and get rid of what doesn't. And so that's what I've done. And I've taken risks and you all can probably think about some of the risky videos that I've done trying to get another viral video. Really, I am. And some of them have really drastically blown up in my face, but that's what marketing is. Not every marketing thing is a big success. Some of them are big fat fails, but that's how we learn. Um, that's how I learned who my target audience is. That's how I learned that as long as I stay true to myself, it doesn't really matter because my core audience sees that they see my authenticity. They see me, they hear my message and the rest of the people who are going to come and go, it doesn't really matter. And so I'm very, very proud of the audience that I have built. I am, I, someone sent me an email recently about some camouflage guy on the line. I don't know, Tom camouflage. I don't know. I don't know. Don't know who he is. Never heard of him, but she said something about, he talks about the bottom of YouTube. And that got me thinking that if there's a bottom of YouTube, you guys are the cream that rises to the top. And I really, really feel that. And I feel so privileged and so honored by my audience. And, uh, you know, the, the ones who don't understand what I'm about and don't want to understand what I'm about or who can't understand what I'm about. They're going to come for a little while and then they're going to get mad and they're going to go away. And of course they're going to go away in a huff. But those of you who are able to grasp the big picture of the message, uh, you're the cream of the crop. You are the cream that rises to the top of, you know, what some others call the bottom of YouTube. And I am just so honored that you are here with me along on this ride. So, um, you know, so when my, when, when my channel took off so fast and I saw that there was money to be made, um, I'm like, yeah, who the heck wouldn't grab onto an opportunity like that? I'm like, that'd be, I would have been an idiot to walk away from that. Seriously. I would have been an idiot. I mean, if 40 days into a new business venture, you're seeing the kind of success that I, so the kind of success that I saw in 40 days that I would have killed to see in in seven years. I mean, the following that I built, and that told me that I found a, that I found something authentic and, you know, and that maybe fortune marketing company, as much as I tried to be that image, maybe I wasn't, and maybe there was some incongruity and maybe that's why this is as successful as it is. Fortune marketing company was successful. Don't get me wrong. And trying to do B2B business to business sales and social media following, it's a whole different, it's apples and oranges. You can't, you can't even compare the two. Uh, but yeah, so, so yeah, when, when YouTube happened so fast and I saw the growth and the success that I saw, I figured, okay, I'm going to ride this out. Let's see where it goes. And as many of you know, for months, I continued my marketing practice and I continued YouTube just to kind of see where it was going to go. Um, you know, and I, I, so instead of, uh, cutting back on my work, I was working two jobs actually, well, growing, maintaining a business and building a new business. So here I was working my ass off again, still. Um, and, uh, where's my dog? So yeah, I would have been an idiot not to grab onto an opportunity like that. And yeah, I ran with it and I worked really hard for many, many months. Like I said, I'm still working really hard to grow it into something. I don't know yet what I'm going to grow it into. I don't know. Um, yeah, I'm working a lot harder than I planned on. I did not plan on moving into my RV and building another business. I actually kind of planned on the opposite of that, as I said earlier. Um, but if I had to do it over again, would I do anything different? No, I always thought I was going to be a writer. I always thought that that's how I was going to share my message and tell my stories. And instead I'm a videographer. I'm a YouTube creator. Wow. I still get to be creative. And in fact, you know, the, the videos that I love the most, the, the ones that take the longest and are the most creative are the least viewed videos. My Selma video, my, um, Salt and Sea, the Lake Shawnee, those videos don't get a lot of views. It's not what people come here for, I guess, but those are the, my core audience loves them. I love making them. And so I'm going to continue to make them because that's what I enjoy doing. And, um, and I think that as long as I do what I enjoy, I think that my core audience is going to continue to enjoy watching. And, um, that's kind of the relationship that we have built. And I feel like I said, I just feel so honored about that. And, uh, so that's my story of how I got started on YouTube. And, uh, if I had to do it all over again, would I do anything differently? I don't think I would. The only thing I would do different is, um, learn, well, I would say, learn how to deal with all of the attention, both positive and negative, a little bit better. And many of you have been commenting on how relaxed I am now. And I think part of that is, yeah, I'm a year and a half on the road. Yay. How cool is that? A year and a half away from my life. Um, but I think a big part of it is what you saw from me in the beginning. And again, because I grew so fast, you saw me being extremely defensive. Uh, it was really hard and still it's, you know, I, people say, just get over it, just get over it. People love you, but it's a lot easier to say, get over it, than to deal with thousands of people, um, hating you all of a sudden out of nowhere, it seemed. And, you know, and it's not even that, it's just the toxicity. Um, you know, one thing I have learned about being on YouTube is there's no shortage of dysfunction. I think that my, my analyst and I, who's a Jungian analyst, um, you know, YouTube has been a, just a Petri dish of fun social experiment for us. It really has. She's learned a lot, uh, about what the online world and, um, you know, and, and basically what we know, I shouldn't say that she is part of this cause I don't know that she would agree, but what I have come to the conclusion of is that the United States right now is the biggest, most fucked up dysfunctional family that ever walked the face of the earth. We are one big giant dysfunctional family and I come from a dysfunctional family. So I know dysfunction and I chose to walk away from that. So I'm going to share something a little personal with you. A lot of you ask about family. Sure. I've got a brother and I've got a mother and I have, uh, my father left when I was nine and I haven't seen him since. Um, good riddance. It's a good thing he did leave, but he was an awful, horrible, evil, rotten, really bad, bad, bad person. Um, my, um, I'm, you know, I'm not close with any of my family brothers, I mean, aunts and uncles and cousins, and they were never around. They were never, I don't know why. Well, we moved around a lot, blah, blah, blah. So I don't want to talk too much about my mother and my brother. I just want to say that I have had to make some tough choices in my life and that at this phase in my life, it is healthier for me to disengage. And so, yeah, I mean, I call myself an orphan. I'm kind of an orphan, uh, you know, or the choices to stay around people who don't make me feel very good. Um, so it's being the black sheep of the family, but, uh, but the healthy black sheep, you know, um, I'm clean and sober. I'm in therapy, uh, working through a lot of my challenges and it's hard being the only one in a dysfunctional family that does that. And I see that on YouTube. It is exactly the same that I see on YouTube from many. And again, um, you know, there are the people who come and go who just want to come in and spread their dysfunction. And really what they're spreading is their dissatisfaction and their unhappiness and their deep, deep wounds. We are very, really wounded. A lot of us are so wounded and they don't, they don't see that they don't have the capacity or the tools to see their own wounding. And so what they need to do is they need to lash out at anything that triggers them and they don't even understand why it's triggering them. So that's the biggest lesson that I have learned over the year that I've been on YouTube is that, um, you know, really just trying not to let other people's dysfunction seep into my life. And it's still a work in progress, but I think as many of you have seen, I've come a long way on that. So anyone who is thinking about being on YouTube, get a good analyst, get a good shrink. Cause really, you know, unless you are a robot or you have super thick skin or you just have like the self-confidence of a ******* saint, um, it's going to get to you. I don't know anybody or if you just choose to not read comments and you know, and I've thought about that a couple of times, but then that cuts me off from the good people. And I don't want to be cut off from the good people. I like the good people and there's more good, you know, there's probably 85% of the people, 80, 90% of the people are genuinely good. And I don't even, you know, even some of the people who disagree with me, um, and you know, I don't care. People can disagree with me all day long. It's how you disagree with me. And too many people disagree with me by calling me names, by shaming me, by guilting me, by, um, swearing at me. And that's not how you disagree with someone. Uh, you know, coming right out the bat and telling me you should feel guilty for this and that, that's not how you disagree with someone. That's the way you get somebody defensive and shut them down. So, um, yeah, being on YouTube is a lot of work. Uh, you know, not only the work that goes into the videos, but the work on myself and the work on, trying to remain calm and happy and at peace with all of the dysfunction that's thrown at us daily, daily. And, uh, so if I had to do it, would I do it? If I had to do it all over again, would I do it? Yeah. You know why? Because I've learned a lot about myself. I have learned that when people fling their dysfunction at me, the reason I get defensive is because my baggage is getting triggered. And that just means that I have more work to do on it. And so all of the hate and anger that's flung at me gives me an opportunity to do more and deeper work on myself. And as I can see it, even myself in the videos, how calm I am now, I have never been this calm. I've always kind of walked around. What did my therapist say? I was percussive. I was very percussive. Um, she didn't say, I thought maybe I had a chip on my shoulder. She didn't say, she said, no, you didn't have a chip on your shoulder, but you were percussive. And, um, I can see the calm in me now. And what I think that means is that I'm exactly where I should be. And, um, that's a good feeling. So I don't know. I babbled a lot and a lot of you are going to hate it and a lot of you are going to like it. So I think I'm going to leave it because a lot of you really like my stories and, and like kind of seeing the, um, how the inner workings of the channel, the inner workings of the RV life, the inner workings of me as a 50 year old woman, navigating through life as someone who has overcome some pretty horrific, um, stuff. There's a lot going on in the media right now. And, um, you know, I'd love to cover that in a video, but I don't think, I don't think I will today. So thank you all so much. I owe all of my success to you and thanks for sticking with me. Thanks for understanding. Thanks for trying to understand even when you can't. Thanks for forgiving me when I misspeak. Thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt. When you think that, you know, when it sounds like I've, said something awful or horrible or mean or hateful, thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt. And thank you for asking me, what did you mean by that? Is this what you meant by that? Because it sounded a little hurtful. You know, when you say it like that, I can hear it and, and I appreciate that. I'm not perfect. I make a lot of mistakes and especially when I'm talking out here in the middle of nowhere to a camera and I decided to put it on online and share my innermost thoughts and vulnerabilities and weaknesses, you know, I make a lot of mistakes and I appreciate those of you who are okay with my humanness. Okay. All right. Thank you all so much. Happy anniversary to all of us for being part of my friendly community. I'm really happy you're on this journey with me and here's to another year on YouTube. All right. I have a giveaway for you. Hang on. Let's do the giveaway. So we've got a giveaway for you today and this is a, I had to write it. It's a waterproof IPX6 headlamp that they sent me a while ago to test out. And I got to tell you, this thing is pretty cool. They have two varieties. They've got a rechargeable one with rechargeable battery pack, which is what they sent me. And then they have one where you can just put batteries in it. The one with the batteries is lighter weight. So as a backpacker, I'm always looking at weight and they say it's 2.6 ounces. That's gotta be the one with the batteries because this one is definitely heavier than that, but this is really cool. It is nice for going outside to walk a pone. It's super bright and I'm probably blinding you, but you can zoom the light. If you screw it, you can zoom it. That's pretty cool. And you can adjust it down. And then in the back, switch it around in the back, it's got a red light behind your head. So where I am right now, I've got some cyclists and I was thinking this would be perfect for cyclists or joggers at night, especially now with the time change. So when you push the button, where is it? So if it's, if the front light is on bright, then the backlight is on bright. If you, if the front light is on medium and the back is on medium and if it's flashing, then the backlight is flashing. So really good for safety. If you're going to be out walking your dog, if you're going to be hiking, if you're going to be biking, if you're going to be fishing or camping and you need extra safety, this led thing in the back is really good for that. I don't think the one with the, just the batteries comes with the light in the back because this is the battery pack. So this is pretty cool. So I'm going to give one away today. As I mentioned in a video, a couple, a couple videos ago that when people, oh, it's, it's blinking that when, when people, when companies ask me to sponsor their products, what I'm going to do is ask for an extra so that when I do do a review on it, I can give one away to you guys. And I figured what a perfect time to start my giveaways. Then my one year anniversary as a thank you. So if you, if you want this, it'll make a great gift for anybody who's active outside. Uh, so with the holidays coming up, it's like a $17 for the rechargeable one online. And I'm going to put a link so that if you want to check it out online, just follow the link right here. The link will also be in my description. And if you want to win it, make sure you have, you have to like the video and then you have to make a comment and you have to do hashtag Capone. Cause that's how I'm going to search for a winner. And then I'm going to choose a winner at random. Um, and I'm going to announce that winner in a video the day after Thanksgiving, Friday, November 25th, I will be announcing a winner. All the rules and regulations are in the, uh, in the description of this video. YouTube is in no way affiliated, nor do they endorse this, this, this, um, contest, et cetera, et cetera. But all the rules are spelled out in the description of this video. So, uh, get your entry in entries received before. Okay. I think I've covered my ass on that enough, but yeah, this is pretty cool. Um, I really like it. It's getting dark so early now and I'm in very, very heavy bear territory. So I'm a little nervous every time I come outside at night to, uh, to let Capone out. So this has been really great and stay tuned. I'll be doing a, you'll be probably be seeing it more and I'll let you know how it holds up, but so far pretty good. Um, I like how you can charge it either by plugging it in by it, it charges by USB or it's got a DC outlet so you can plug it into a regular outlet. And if you want more information on it, just visit the Amazon link, which is located, uh, in the description and I'll just put it probably here in a caption. Okay. So that is, that wraps up my one year and my thank you gift and stay, stay tuned for more. Thank you gifts to all of you wonderful subscribers who, uh, I couldn't do this without you. Literally. Thank you all so much. I will see you soon. And be kind. Thank you.