Feminine Energy Moves That Make Him Melt | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs

One of the questions I get most in our coaching program is what does feminine energy actually look like in relationships? How does someone embody that feminine energy in a way that creates attraction and polarity with a healthy masculine man? And so, today, I want to share with you five things that you can do if you want to dial up feminine energy in a really beautiful, healthy way to attract a great partner or deepen the connection with your partner. These five ways of being in feminine energy can absolutely do just that. This first habit is the most foundational and it is amplify your receiving. Feminine energy is all about receptive energy. Masculine energy is all about providing energy. So, when you amplify your receiving, you're actually amplifying your feminine energy and building the attraction with the masculine man, that healthy masculine man that wants to provide you with happiness, wants to provide you with what you want. Now, sometimes, we have resistance to receiving because we've been programmed since the time we're kids that our value comes from our own ability to service our own needs, our own ability to be the providers. Or maybe you've gone through decades of you being the one that's providing for other people. Maybe you've been the single mom or you've been the breadwinner and that's where your recognition and validation has come from. And there's a part of us that's wired up with receiving being needy and needy being weak. And we do not want to be weak. And so, ultimately, what we'll do is we'll push away those who are trying to provide for us. We'll close down that opportunity. And while that might be fine through certain lenses in our life, ultimately, it doesn't lead to the most fulfilling experience, especially in relationships. Because what the masculine really craves is to be able to provide in certain ways, certain things that you really would love or need. Let me give you an example of this, a lesson that changed my life forever. When I was getting my master's in education, I had a mentor teacher. His name is Mr. Shoshin. And one day, he's like, hey, Matt, let's go grab some lunch. Let me take you to Jack in the Box. And as we're going through the drive-through, I order my food, he orders his, he pulls out his money to pay for both of us. And I pull out my money because I'm thinking, oh, you know, he's a teacher, he doesn't make that much money. And I'm like in college, but my mindset was like, oh, he's not making that much money. And so, I go to pay for my half of the meal. And he's like, no, no, no, Matt, I got it. And then I insist. I'm like, no, no, no, Mr. Shoshin, like, it's cool. I can pay for my half of the meal. You don't have to buy my half. And he's like, no, Matt, I got it. I want to treat you. And I'm like, no, no, no, it's okay. I got my half. Maybe this has resonated with you. Maybe there's been someone who wants to buy you lunch or buy you your coffee. And you said, no, I've got mine. And you're not willing to receive that gift. Mr. Shoshin turned to me in that moment and he said, Matt, receiving the gift honors the giver. And that sank in. And I said, oh, I love that idea. Because receiving isn't about being passive. It's an active state of actually honoring somebody, honoring what they want to give. And so, when you receive fully, you complete this energetic exchange, this energetic circle, if you will, and you're receiving validates their effort. And it nourishes the space between you and encourage them to keep providing in those ways. So, if he opens the door or wants to compliment your smile or pay for the food or brings you your favorite drink, the best thing that you can do is receive it and simply say thank you. And no, you do not have to act like he has just delivered a kidney to you. Simply smiling, simply receiving it like the amazing high value woman you are is all he's looking for. The second powerful feminine energy move that will melt your man is to make requests, not critiques. Now, there is an archetype for a type of person where we get value by pointing out what's wrong in the world. We feel valuable if we're able to point out what's missing, what's not working right, and then other people rush to fix that, then we feel like, oh, it's better because I was here and pointed out what's wrong. That is not going to activate masculine energy. That's going to actually have the opposite effect. Masculine energy is repelled by the feeling of inadequacy, but it thrives when it knows that there's a desire to fulfill. And that's exactly what a request is. A request is something where you're saying, hey, I would love this. Would you be able to provide this for me? I would love a date night. Would you provide it for me? I would love it if you called me instead of emailing me. Would you provide this? I'd love it if you planned something adventurous for us to do this weekend. Will you deliver this? That is phenomenal for masculine energy, and it is very powerful in the feminine. A lot of times people think with feminine energy, you can't be proactive, but it's the opposite. You can be very direct and very proactive in making the request and then allowing the masculine to fulfill it. But know this, the kind of request you want to make is one without criticism because critiques are like kryptonite to masculine energy because they activate a shame response. I'm not doing it well enough. I'm not good enough. Instead, make the request for something that you would love or you would love more of and allow him to step in and step up to delivering that. Let me give you a fun example about this. A friend of mine was talking about a guy she recently started dating and she likes him. He seems like he likes her, but he's doing this weird thing where he's only texting her every three days. Someone had coached him, don't text earlier than that. So he was waiting exactly three days and then sending a text. And so she was like, well, I actually want him to text me more than this. So she sent him this really fun, flirty request where she said, hey, my text inbox is severely lacking texts from a handsome guy in mortgage finance. And I would really love some more texts. Know anyone who wants to volunteer for that job? And all of a sudden, this guy starts texting more and more and more. And now they're texting every day and they're chatting all the time. And it's the kind of rhythm that she loves that would not have happened without her actually making the request in the first place. Third great practice for feminine energy is to activate your allowing versus controlling. And so feminine energy is all about creating a vision for what it is that you would love, like this request or this desire for what you would love, and then allowing it to be delivered to you, allowing someone to provide that without micromanaging all the details. One of my clients recently put it like this. She was like, well, I've been a leader. I've been an executive, own my own business, and I'm having a tough time with feminine energy. And I said, oh, you're actually perfectly designed to amplify your feminine energy because the difference is masculine energy is more management energy. It's more directive energy. What we don't want to do with feminine energy is micromanage how things get done. But if you're used to being a leader, if you're an executive, you know that your job is to cast the vision. Here's the outcome. Here's the vision of what we would love. And then you let your team deliver it for you. And the best leaders are not micromanaging. And she went, oh my gosh, that will absolutely work for me. I know exactly how to do that in my business life. And now I can bring that into my love life of cast a vision and allow them to bring it to you. Sometimes where we get messed up is we start micromanaging. One of my clients said everything changed when she stopped micromanaging. She would, guys would take her on a date and she was just trying to be helpful, but she would say, hey, the exit's coming up here. Get into the exit lane. Or hey, there's a parking spot up in the front. Take that other lane, go park in that spot. And she was constantly micromanaging things, just thinking that she was being helpful. But what that was showing is that she actually didn't trust him to deliver what she wanted. That's what allowing does. Allowing creates space that invites in a field of trust saying, hey, I would love this thing. And I actually trust that you have what it takes to deliver it. And that is so powerful for masculine energy. Masculine energy craves trust. It craves trust because trust shows that you believe he's adequate. So if you have asked him to pick a restaurant and he picks a good Italian place, but you know a better one, resist. You can always ask him on another date and take him to that better restaurant. But if you've asked for a surprise and he brings you flowers and what you really wanted was chocolate-covered strawberries, but you didn't specify that. You just said the general surprise me, then receive it with grace. And then later say, hey, you know what I would really love is some chocolate-covered strawberries. And you can be even more direct so that he knows exactly the things that you want. Because that's what he's trying to do. He's trying to hit the bullseye with you. And the fourth practice for really igniting your feminine energy in a way that is magnetic to his masculine energy is to expand the joy. Joy is magnetic. Research shows that our brains are wired up to mirror the emotional states of other people. So when you are lit up, it actually lights him up too. And then he associates that feeling with you. Imagine this. Feminine energy is like oxygen for the relationship. It makes everything easier, lighter. He's able to breathe. And so joy might be having fun. Joy might be being playful. Joy might be being silly. Whatever you bring forth as your unique joy, let it fly. I love seeing videos like this because it embodies what the essence of joy is all about. You literally make no noise when you laugh. Yes, I do. No, you make zero noise when you laugh. What? Oh, my gosh. What was that laugh? So true. Think about it this way. Joy is your soul's home frequency. I love that idea. So it's not about pretending to be happy, but it's about cultivating the authentic joy from the inside out and allowing yourself to feel good even when life isn't perfect. Even if there's challenges happening throughout the day, we can find things to generate joy about. One of the top questions a great man is asking himself is, can I make her happy? Can I bring her joy? So when you're naturally in that state, bringing that forth from you makes his answer a whole lot easier saying, this is a woman who activates joy and I want to be around her. Give yourself permission to dance while you're cooking, to laugh at your own jokes, to let him see you being goofy, that playful, radiant you. And when he sees you glowing, it's going to trigger that desire in him to be close to you, to be a part of your happiness. And number five, feminine energy embraces the present moment. Feminine energy lives in the now. While masculine energy is often strategic energy, it's forward-facing energy, it's vision-driven energy. When you're in the present, it regulates the nervous system, calms us to a place of peace and creates a container of emotional safety. It allows your man to relax even more, allows him to feel seen and allows him to enjoy life to the fullest with you. The only place that we can actually experience love is in the present moment. The only place we can actually experience life is in the present moment. I love this great saying, it's life is what happens while you're busy making other plans. So we're busy trying to achieve some goal. And meanwhile, life is happening. Can we stop and experience it and say, this is the dream? Right here, right now, there's something so electric and magnetic about it. And the feminine energy has a unique way of actually being able to embody and draw the masculine into the present moment, unlike other things. So you're going to stop him, put your hands on his face, draw him close, take a deep breath with him, give him a kiss and say, honey, let's just feel this moment. We're living the dream right now. Like we're in this beautiful location or we're on this beautiful vacation, or we've got kids right now, or look at our relationship. This is so, let's just breathe it in and bring him into this present moment. So here's what's great, embodying these feminine habits are not about being anything that you're not. I believe it's about amplifying the radiant version of you that's already there. It's not about being perfect and definitely not about being passive, but about being powerfully present, open, lit up from within. And so as you take these habits, you dial them up, you not only will make your man melt and draw him in, you will make yourself magnetic. So my question for you is what feminine habits have you found to be really effective at making a greater connection with your man? Go ahead and post those in the comment section below. I appreciate you. Here's to your amazing love life, the expanding love in your life. Thanks for watching. I'll see you soon.