How Do We Combine Finances With A Prenup?

[Music] brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. >> So, I'm going to try to be brief here. Um, I am a single mom to a 5-year-old boy. Um, I don't receive any child support. Um, I have a career in finance. I grow 140K a year. >> Look at you. Way to go, girl. >> Thank you. Um, I have a pretty low net worth. It's about 50K. Um, 15K of that is an emergency fund. Um, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We love each other. We are discussing marriage. Um, his net worth is a lot bigger than mine. Um he has a trust fund and he lives off the dividends of his trust. The principal is about 2 million. >> He doesn't work. >> He owns a business but it is not profitable. He's owned it for 10 years. >> So he's a hobby. >> It's a hobby. He doesn't pay himself a salary or >> businesses that don't make a profit are called a hobby. >> Yeah. It's kind of like a passion. That's not a good indicator of his character. >> Mhm. He considers it like community service. >> Yeah, I consider it he's hiding in his trust fund money. >> It's a bad idea. What's the business? >> It's a bike shop. >> Um he has four more years of his commercial lease and then he's planning on closing the doors. >> How old is he >> when it's over? >> He is 43. Have you discussed >> how you're how old? >> I'm 37. >> Okay. I'm sorry. Let Let us stop peppering you. What? How can we help you, hun? >> So, I am under the assumption that you would recommend a prenup given the dramatic difference in our net worth. I apply um this program to my life and I would like to apply it to my marriage as well, but >> why the tears? >> I don't know. Um, I just if we have a prenup, how do we combine our finances? >> Okay. The prenup does not discuss the monthly operation of the household in most cases. Most the time, the prenup just says what happens to the $2 million trust fund if you would get split up. In other words, a prenup would be something as simple as if you did do it. If you did do a prenup, just be as simple as he leaves the marriage with the with his $2 million trust fund and you leave the marriage with $50,000 um a net worth. Um or you leave the marriage with everything else and he leaves with the whatever it is. I don't care. But I mean, you kind of most prenups kind of start with the idea we leave with at least what we came in with and that's it. It's only if you leave the marriage that it does it come up. But it's not like the money coming off the $2 million that allows him to not be profitable or productive gross is um uh is becomes part of your household income even if you have a prenup. So that's how you combine your finances. >> But we're not so we won't combine all of our bank accounts though. >> Yeah, you combine all your bank accounts. Absolutely. Absolutely. His trust fund is not a bank account. His trust fund is an investment. >> Mhm. Does he have any control over the trust fund at all? >> Yeah. >> Okay. All right. So, anything that's >> anything that's in and around the trust fund would would not necessarily be in your name. But even if it is in your name, the prenup would if you switch everything to your name, the prenup would just say in the event the marriage breaks up, it goes back to his name. >> That's all it would say. It's not operationally inside the marriage. It's only what happens at the end of the marriage. Most of them. I've seen a few of them that interfere in the marriage, but most of them are what happens in the event the marriage dissolves. Simple. >> Mhm. Okay. >> And your second question is what? >> Well, how do I build wealth with somebody who already has wealth and isn't really motivated to build more wealth? >> Now, there's a key issue. Now, you've opened up a whole another can of worms. Okay? I'm going to love you enough to tell you the truth. A guy that doesn't work for a profit and isn't productive scares me. If he's marrying my daughter, I'm I'm afraid. >> Mhm. >> And the trust fund has allowed him to not become who God intended him to be, a productive citizen that goes out there, leaves the cave, kills something, and drag it home. Instead, it stunted his emotional development, and he runs a bike shop. A bike shop. that's not profitable >> instead of becoming the man that God wanted him to be. That scares me. >> I'm looking in from the outside and I'm being a little bit harsh, but I'm short on time and I love you and I want you to hear that. I don't want to leave this being dishonest with you. >> Thank you. >> It's greatly concerning to me and I would want you to deal with that. And um I'd want I if I'm you, if I'm your old ugly uncle Dave, I would want you guys in pre-marriage counseling to get to the bottom of some of that stuff and some of that be solved to your satisfaction. Cuz girl, you on the other hand are a warrior princess. 78% of the or 50 over I'm sorry, 52% of the single moms live below the poverty level. You make $140,000 a year. You're self- sustaining and raising a human. You're kind of amazing. >> I you know I Dave took the words out of my mouth. I was going to play the older brother card and I went on a rant last week with a very similar situation like this on this show and I said ladies don't marry doofuses and I'm not >> he may not be but indicators aren't good. >> I understand. Look at look at you all of a sudden Mr. Nice. >> I'm trying to give him a break. >> I'm not because we've heard enough. We've heard enough. I'm not saying he's a bad person, but being a doofus and being a bad person are two different things. You have a great heart, and I'm just telling you, I have the exact same fear here. This is a big deal. Three years you guys have been dating. He's been on this plan for 10 years. Uh I don't think that 2 million lasts as long as he thinks. Uh I'm concerned about that. >> Like 2 million is a lot of money. >> It's not at 43. That's why I asked that question. How old is he? So, uh, I echo Dave and I'm saying I think premarital counseling is an absolute must. And if he doesn't play ball with that, that would be the final red flag. You've got to take care of you and that 5-year-old. And you can love somebody that is not the right person for you. And again, I'm not accusing him of anything. Uh, but I have massive, massive red flags. Same ones Dave has. So, let me play something back to you that I heard, Haley, and I think everybody heard it. Okay. you came into this conversation like you are the one that is not bringing as much to the table. He's bringing everything to the table. >> And um what we're saying is it's actually the opposite. >> Yeah, that's right. >> This guy needs to step up and earn the right to be with Haley cuz she's a freaking warrior princess. Pretty incredible. >> Yeah. I mean, you're making 140k a year. A single mom gotten into finance. you're out there swinging the machete through the jungle, kiddo. It's pretty awesome. And uh yeah, so so you know, he may have $2 million, but he won't have it long if he doesn't change. >> And so um that you you just need to be careful. Again, I all we're looking at is we we've known the situation for about a minute and 48 seconds is all. So you you know a lot more about it than we do. We could have missed something. He we might the guy might not. But I'm not saying it's 100% off. But there are some things that are concerning enough. You've got to dig into them and get solved before you go forward with this. >> And to encourage you, you asked how do I build wealth with him? >> If there's a if there's a prenup, it probably needs to include him getting a job that's profitable. >> Yeah. >> But until we figure out if this guy >> in order to get married to me. >> Right. Right. But she needs you. >> But here's the thing. >> I have to become profitable. >> You need to work the baby steps. whether or not he's in the picture or not and you've bought into that, keep working it. You're doing really well. You got a good income. You can build wealth. You why you in caps, you can build wealth. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your