Maximizing Your Talents for a Higher Purpose

Hey friend and welcome back to keeping it real on purpose. We all love the idea of purpose and potential, right? We share motivational quotes. We buy self-help books. But let's be honest, actually living up to your greatest potential is messy. It requires uncomfortable decisions and facing parts of yourself you'd rather ignore. It demands real raw invulnerability. Today, my guest is someone who has not only faced those challenging decisions, but has created a blueprint for doing so. She's an award-winning author of over 70 books, including her latest, Empowerment: Maximizing Your Gifts and Talents to Honor God. She's also a featured speaker, mother, and Grandmother. I'm talking about the incredible Claudet Milner. Claudet, thank you for joining us today. >> Thank you for having me. >> All right. So, I'm ready to dive in. >> To God. >> Yes, I'm I'm ready to dive into the questions. So, tell us how you show up in the world. I show up in the world as a child of the king and and that gets kind of shaky sometimes simply because when people invite me to speak I I immediately respond I'm a Christian and I as a Christian that >> okay okay >> I am led about the Holy Spirit. >> Okay. All right. >> So, that's how I show up. >> Okay. I'm also a a writer >> and also a speaker and uh soon to be um I guess a film writer uh in the very near future. So we examine all sides of that perspective. >> Good. All right. So the first question I want to ask you is the why not lie. We often lie to ourselves about why we aren't pursuing a major goal. We blame time, money, or luck. Based on your work, what is the most common yet completely dishonest excuse people give for why they aren't fully utilizing their gifts. Be the reason they aren't fully utilizing their gifts is because they have no idea what their purpose is and they have no idea why they do what they do. So it I say the most important question is why do you do what you do and what do you hope to accomplish? >> So if if you're doing uh if you're doing something just because you want money then if you don't make money you're going to jump into the next field. But if you're doing it because maybe you want to make money because you want to build a skill using your God spiritual gifts, >> right? >> Then you look back and this is what I hope to accomplish and I can align my faith and get through these challenges. So that's the first thing. Uh because we don't know why we're doing what we're doing, >> right? That's absolutely that's absolutely the truth because I know for for myself um I had to remember who I was before, you know, um because I was always asking where's my my purpose? What do I do? And I was out of alignment for a long time. Um even going to church, I was out of out of alignment because I just didn't know what I was doing there, you know? I had no idea. And then finally I got into alignment and I start to hear what my inner what God was saying to me inwardly instead of all the noise that was going on on the outside. So that's totally true. That's really that's really good. >> Yeah. So much of my life I spent trying to figure out what everybody else wanted me to do. >> And that's a good one. My dad wanted me to be a, you know, my mother wanted me to be an attorney. I, you know, you try to figure it out. I, they would not allow me to go to acting school, although, you know, I had a scholarship offer. >> I went and studied chemistry and biology. >> Uh, because that's what was expected of me. And it's very difficult to break that when you want you want love and acceptance. And so you say this is, you know, love and acceptance in in the church. People, women especially, marry the church >> and try to serve their way to heaven. As opposed to saying, well, God created me to teach, >> right? >> And I can teach, right? I don't have to to be here every day. I don't have to give up my family and everything else because >> you're not married to the church, >> right? And we do that often. Women do that often. We literally marry the church, you know, we start to marry the church and we we neglect our families, you know, and I know for myself, I've seen husband and wives break up because of that, you know, and the devotion wasn't to, you know, the entire cuz I know God wants you to serve in in even your family, you know, that's important as well. So you can't just like neglect neglect your family and then you know kind of serve give everything to the church you know. So I know that there's you know God requires that that wholeness for us and finding your purpose sometimes that gets in the way of a lot of what you do. One of the biggest mistakes we make as women is we forget that God created us for a purpose. >> And we forget about God's purpose for our lives. God wants us to go to leave town and go get a bachelor's degree in culinary arts because he wants us to be a chef. >> But we forget about God's purpose for our lives. What we must do. >> Yes. >> We just think about well, you know, they asked me to teach and and then we feel guilty. we feel really really guilty because you know we aren't we aren't teaching every single Sunday school class and I remember when I was a radio host and it was difficult for me to say no I'm not going to be over vacation Bible school this year because I'm working a full-time job and I'm a radio host and I I can't do it right >> but this is what I can do I can't teach, >> you know, one class will existed. >> Right. Right. >> Right. >> We >> Yeah. We end up we end up kind of giving it all instead of, you know, not being conscious of what you're really assigned to do because we lo, you know, I think we lose our purpose because everything else piles up on us. You know, you know, like you said, maybe your your father told you to be this, your mother told you to be this, and then that's on you, you know, and then, okay, now you go into church and now they want you to do something, and you got this to do, and you got that to do, and it all piles up on you, and pretty soon you be like, well, what am I doing after a while, like, what's going on? It's true. I know. My grandmother died of diabetes. And so when I got out of college, the first job I took was in diabetic research. >> And I was like, I'm this must be it, right? This must be the right place. >> Yeah. >> For me >> because you know, I I need to secure this for the family. >> Right. Right. >> I want we want that acceptance. >> Absolutely. You're right. So that acceptance. Yeah. Yeah, >> that's true. Yeah, that acceptance, man, it it shouts louder than anything. It shouts louder than anything. That is so true. So true. So, what's one painful truth they that everyone must admit to themselves to finally move past, you know, feeling guilty? One thing that everybody has to realize, which it took me a while to realize was that because I was in an abusive um childhood and my dad was an alcoholic >> and finally I I knew, you know, John 3:16, I I knew it, but when I received received uh Jeremiah 11 and1 when I received it that I was created in God's image and God loved me. I was his child and my father was my biological father, my DNA, but >> God created me. So I was representing the image that God created and I was not the image that my father was. >> That's good >> because you know >> Yeah. They always say that they always say uh you know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. >> Well my apple my apple is in heaven. So >> and prayerfully I don't fall far from that tree. Because nobody's perfect, but we want to imitate our real father, >> right? >> And that's difficult for people. >> Yeah. Absolutely. Sure. But that's a great revelation that you just shared be, you know, about the DNA and and God being the the the initial father. I like that. That just resonates with me. That's really good. We're going to switch over to um your the cost of authenticity and you talk about this and I know you do. Um you're an author of over 70 books so that took a lot of authenticity in order to do that. You know what it takes to produce consistently. Um when someone truly steps into their power and starts to live on purpose, they inevitably grow relationships. What's a real non fluff cost of that evaluation? And how do t you do you teach people to navigate grief and loneliness? I teach people to navigate grief and by reading the Bible. I I tell people all the time, the Bible is our encyclopedia for life. I write by by the Holy Spirit. >> Okay. >> Okay. And so when I sit down to write, there is no outline. And and some people question this. There's no outline. I don't direct the story. But what I have found is that my purpose in writing is to give every child a voice. Mhm. >> And so I saw sexual abuse. I my second one of my second books in the children series is unheard voices about sex molestation. I grew up in alcoholic home. So I have characters that because what I how it started my sister who's passed was molested. Okay. And I saw it and I tried to help and I couldn't >> and so I got the opportunity to tell let people hear that voice. I wanted to say to kids, I know what's going on with you and I know that you want to express it. I'm going to give you a voice and that's my mission >> to be the voice. That's good. The gift of failure, your film project is currently in Kickstarter phase, which is massive act of faith. And and I'm hearing you talk now about no outline for any of your books is amazing. And it's an act of faith and vulnerability. For many people, pursuing their purpose, the fear of the public, you know, being in public is like almost I'm I'm afraid of it. I It's like failure, right? And it's sometimes it's in it's um paralyzing because I know when I first, you know, started my writing journey, it was paralyzing to you was scared to like, okay, if I put it out, somebody's going to say something about it and then how do I answer that? You're you're you're in the future. You're jumping to the future already, right? Um what's the single most valuable lesson your personal failures have taught you about the path for true empowerment? I'm gonna give you a quick example because we were talking about the Kickstarter campaign. >> Yes. >> This is my third. Is that my first? >> It's my >> the first Kickstarter. It I didn't get a dime. Okay. So, Kickstarter I said, "Okay, >> um I'm gonna hire somebody." And I fell for the okey do. and they sent out a lot of emails and all this stuff. I just died. Okay, this starter campaign and this is resilience and faith. Uh we we've met the goal. We met the goal in two weeks. We're 5,000 over the goal. >> Wow. And >> I I asked God, I said when I put when I put it up, there was a $100. Somebody gave $100 immediately. And so I'm sitting and it's four days and it's five days and at 100. >> Yeah, I know. I hear that. Yeah. >> One% right. And I said I said, "God, you gave me the producer. not any producer but a Amazon Prime stream producer. Uh he's got things you put everything in place. So where's the money? >> And you know and I as God where is the money, right? >> Yeah. >> And I guess he got tired of hearing it. He sent somebody and that person said, "If you will let us run the campaign, we will do $1,000 free to show you we can do it." And I said, "Well, you know, it's free." Oh, okay. Go for it. >> Three hours later, they had $1,000. >> Wow. >> And they fulfilled the goal last Friday. And we have 10 days left. So that was something that I had been trying to do for the last >> 10 years. And every time I would go on a talk show, they would say, "What's your goal?" I said, "To get my book into a, you know, to a film." And I said, "I don't know when it's gonna happen. I don't know if it's gonna happen because I'm broke. It's I don't know what. And I can't, you know, this money." And I told her that I was like, "Well, a year and a half ago, I had a stroke." >> Okay. >> And so I had to take the time to heal and and and rejuvenate. And that was a that was a challenge because I had to fight my family. My family said, >> you know, you're in your late 60s, so you need to sit down. We don't want you going to any book events. We don't want you to keep right and we'll we'll give you a house. You know, we'll let you stay. You know, you pay rent and you stay and or you go to assisted living or or something, right? >> Oh, okay. They was trying to put you to pastor already. Huh. >> They were ready. And my friend was ready, you know, retired, you know, just retire. And so I had to >> fight. I had to go stay in a hotel. I ended up in a shelter for two months. >> And then God blessed me and I moved. Uh I moved. But when I went in the shelter, I was like, I'm going to be here two months. And I said, I'll be out of here September the 9th. And I left on September the 10th. >> Wow. because and you know and that was that was the challenge. would I give up on life, save retirement, and I guess I would have had to learn to knit or something, >> but I I I didn't. And the and we were talking about the the book that's going to be the film is forgiven of our transgressions, which talks about a >> married to the church, >> right? And it talks about a woman who's just doing the most and a husband that never learned a Christian and after it's 61 books in this series, right? >> And so Darren goes all the way through the series and and h still doesn't know how to be a Christian. He's he's now being the best father he can be and that's the best he can do, >> right? >> Yeah. >> And and family just continues to pray about it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> As we're talking about retirement, >> many people plan differently, you know, they they want to maybe retire and go to an island or retire and just, you know, go to, you know, a second home, something like that. But you have a retirement plan of a of a book becoming a film and that takes guts. You know, even with all the, you know, the things that you went through with the stroke and everything and the homelessness and moving around, you took it took guts and I know it took some guts gusto and a lot of God, right? So, you maximized your gift. Yeah. So, how do you >> Huh? Say it again. >> Oh, I I said because when I was in the shelter, right, >> I was sitting out I was sitting out and this girl slapped me and you know my daughter called and she's like I'm coming to get you, right? And I said no because I had to control my destiny. And when I talked about it before this group of people and and I said I could have gone home today. >> Yeah. >> But if I had gone home, I would have robbed God of his glory because when I leave here, >> it's not going to be to an assisted living place. It's going to be an apartment of my choice. and God is going to get the glory for that. >> So, I'm going to sit here >> until it's time for me to go. >> Yeah, that's beautiful. And of course, when you max you maximized your gift, like your gift of like that's that's >> maximizing your gift to empower yourself >> to stay regardless of adversity, right? and and to control your emotions because that was really, you know, that's really emotional like if you get, oh, come get me because I can't stand it here, you know, and I this I can't go up against this. That's really you're getting in your emotions. But when you've controlled how you that you know, I'm going to control my destiny. I'm not going to let my emotions or this person or anybody and that's being empowered. You know, you're responsible. How do you how what would you tell somebody who may be in a situation like that um to be to you know be responsible? How would they empower themselves to be responsible in that a situation like similar to yours? >> Usually I tell people first of all figure out for yourself why you're in this situation. Well, that's >> don't blame society or anybody. Figure out is it because you're having PTSD moments? Is it because you have mental health challenges? >> Is it because have job skills >> uh that you can do? Is it because this is all you know? Because when I did my Vista tour, I worked with battered women in legal aid and that allowed me to heal from the abusive childhood that I had. Um God sent me to Topeka, Kansas uh to be a vista worker in order to heal. Um and and the thing is you that's the first thing you have to do and then you have to say are you willing to do what it takes to control your own destiny. >> Right. Yes. >> If it's job skills you need then then you need to obtain those. If it's mental health counseling you need to go. >> You have to exercise. You have to do it. What does the saying say? You put forth a step and God will take the next step. >> But it's like wanting a job >> and never sending out a resume or never filling out an application. >> Amen. >> Sorry. God's not come and put a job in your lap. You've got to be prepared. >> Got to do some work. Yeah. Gotta do some work. Yeah. Oh, that's the first thing that you have to do in that situation after I wrote I wrote too quickly after the stroke. And so I I wrote this book and honey, I'm telling you that those reviews stunk and and they they really stuck. And I was like and I was upset because it was my best friend and how could you do this to me? And then I would then her sister was a professor and and so I took I looked at her review and I said Claudette you were so busy trying to prove to the world and the hospital told me that they said when you leave here do not go write another book before you heal because you don't want to embarrass yourself. Well, I didn't pay him any and I did embarrass myself. And so I was like, okay. U I looked at all her criticism and then I said, Claudet, you were not ready to to write this book. And so I gave myself some time to heal and then I wrote the book. And then the next book got the impact international impact award. But it it took me being hurt, being embarrassed, >> uh, you know, am I am I going to write again? Can I write again? That selfdoubt, >> right, >> came, >> you know, am I am I ever going to publish a a really good book again? Because I'd only had great reviews. And so I'm like, "Yeah, >> getting that bad review was a was a was a killer." >> It was it was I was so upset. I didn't talk to my girlfriend for a year. I mean, honestly, I couldn't talk to her for a year because I was like, I gotta sit down and rewrite. I had to rewrite that book. And and thank God it was self-published because I pulled it off, you know, and I rewrote it and and the when I was ready >> when I was ready, I rewrote it >> and stuff. So >> yeah, so it that's a challenge. But so much of the time when we get into a situation, >> we look at every single thing around us, but we fail to do introspection. >> That's good. That's good. >> Of why we are in this situation, what did we do to contribute to it? And even if you were a victim, even if you were a victim, you can't allow yourself to continue to live as a victim. >> You've got to you've been molested. You've got to seek help. You've got to get find your place of peace. And you'll do that spiritually. You'll do it and you'll also do it u with help. >> Wow, that's beautiful. Well, that on that word alone, we're not going to touch it cuz that is the sentiment that the audience needs right there. And and um just give us a little bit of where they cla you know in the content section. So, just tell us where they can find you or support your um your Kickstarter. >> You can find me, All of my interviews are on um my website www.claer.com. Um soon, I guess next week, you'll see me on CNTV on Roku. um that interview will be showing every other day for three weeks. >> Okay. >> So, so if you're, you know, if you're a Roku Walker or or you uh on demand for CNTV, uh you'll see that interview. Um and that you'll see me on Tik Tok and Instagram and >> LinkedIn, all the social media. >> Yeah, I'll be there. So, >> okay. >> So, that'll be good. And >> yeah, >> we want to thank you. >> Thank you so much for being here. You've given us so much, so much information and empowerment. And we want to thank you for being here with us because you could be anywhere else, but you're here with us on Keeping It Real on Purpose. I'm your host, Edna White, and my esteemed guest, Claudette Milner. We're going to say goodbye for now. Goodbye.