An Unexpected Visitor... | Navigating Grief On The Road

Because butterflies are sort of one of the symbols that I have for my mom. Okay so I started crying. Are we surprised? I don't think so. This is my morning Tennessee, wait, my dog is ready to be walking, pot of coffee, got me talking, Patsy cries out, she's so crazy, this is a morning Tennessee, make me Good morning you guys. It is not just a good morning, it's a great morning because I am starting my day off with one of my favorite things in the world, truck stop coffee. I also picked up a breakfast sandwich and some pineapple, which I don't normally get food when I stay the night at truck stops, but I am already running late today. I meant to get up at 6 a.m and I woke up at 7 45. I didn't even hear my alarms going off and that tells me I could probably use the sleep, but it does mean that I got a little less work done this morning than I would have hoped. I'm just getting tired, but I think today is gonna be a fun day. We are heading south, about an hour south of here. We're in Cords Junction, Arizona right now, that's where this Love's Truck Stop is. I think this is just north of Scottsdale, Arizona, where we're heading today, which is the Butterfly Wonderland Conservatory. I don't think I've ever been to a Butterfly Conservatory and if I have, I don't remember it, but I think this one's gonna be really special because they have Christmas lights and Christmas decorations up apparently in the in the conservatory area, so I thought it would just be fun to go there and check it out. And also quite sentimental for me, if I'm honest, because butterflies are sort of one of the symbols that I have for my mom. Like even my necklace for her is a little butterfly. So I think it'll just be a nice warm, sentimental, festive day for me and I'm really looking forward to it. There's just a farmer's market along the way that I want to stop by, so we'll do that. But yeah, that's that's the plan for the day, you guys. Let's hit the road! We didn't invade, but suddenly, there you were. Never thought it'd be easy, to feel you in my arms. But now we're here and I'm all in, and owned it by you. Cause I can stay till the morning, stay till the dawn, but just hold me now. I wanna be so much better, I wanna say something clever, to get in your mind. Cause right now, we're not together, and I lose my way then, oh I feel so much better. Whenever you're around, whenever you're around, yeah yeah. Whenever you're, whenever you're around. That was such a cute little pit stop, you guys. I ended up only getting this little beaded bracelet for myself and some locally made organic coffee, which the lady in there said was really good, so I have high hopes for that. They had these really cool, I don't even think I took a video of them, these logs outside that they cut into, but preserved the bark and everything on it, and they made like little drawers out of it. It's, I don't know what you would use it for, like jewelry storage maybe? They were very very unique and very cool, but frankly, way too far out of my budget. So I had to leave that there, but it was a nice stop either way. Okay, we've got 40 minutes until we get to the Butterfly Conservatory, and it's about one o'clock right now, so they close at five. We should have maybe three hours of exploring once we get there. I know you don't like when I talk, I know. Tell me you took me home. You came into my life like a sweet embrace, swept me off my feet, made me whole again. You came in my life. I wanna see your face, never will I be, be the same again. Welcome to our weekly Whimsical Week's Butterfly Release. My name is Kim, and I am an education specialist here at Butterfly Wonderland. Today, we are celebrating all our butterflies that were born earlier inside our building in the Birdlings Gallery. Now, what you may or may not know is that our butterflies are tropical species. Butterflies will shift in from all over the world. They come in from Africa, Asia, Central and South America, and some tropical forests, but they all meet up here to make one big, beautiful butterfly bouquet. Today is their birthday. You know, we get a hold here, they only get a few weeks, so we're going to make a specimen, okay? Now, do we have anyone else here celebrating their birthday today? All right, come on up. Alexis is my beautiful assistant for the day, so you'll be assisting me with releasing the butterflies. Now, on the count of three, we're all going to wish these butterflies and my beautiful assistant, Alexis, a happy birthday. All right, three, happy birthday! This is when I gently lift them and place them on your clothing, not on your hands, okay? Your clothing gets them somewhere to latch onto. So, Alexis, you get to choose, which one would you like? You came into my life like a sweet embrace. Sweat me off my feet and hold again. You came and want to see your face. Never be the same again. I want to see your face again. Oh, let me see your face again. I'm far from being satisfied yet. I want to see your face again. Oh, let me see your face again and take me to the place we first met. Like a sweet embrace. Sweat me off my feet and make me whole again. You came in my life. Be the same again. Be the same again. Oh boy. Okay, so I started crying. Are we surprised? I don't think so. I started crying in there. I got it together. I just, you know, nipped it in the bud, left through the gift shop, fully composed, and got out here to the van and I just started crying again. Oh, I don't know if it would have the same significance for anybody who doesn't associate butterflies with loved ones that they have lost. So maybe you wouldn't find it as moving to go and be in a place like that, but man, that was so, so special. It just feels like a privilege when you step in there. Like, I completely forgot about the Christmas aspect of it entirely. I mean, they have some Christmas lights, they have some Christmas trees set up, but that is not the appeal of the space. It is so magical and so beautiful just in what it is. At least for me, it just, like, took my breath away to be surrounded by so many beautiful butterflies and, like, you are a guest in their home. Oh boy. And then it turns out they do a special thing on Tuesdays and they only do it on Tuesdays at 3 p.m. and they bring out all of the, like, baby butterflies to release them into the space. And I just so happened to come on a Tuesday in the afternoon, so I got to see that, which was so beautiful. And after they released all of the new butterflies, I had two that just sort of latched on to me. I had one on my shoe and one on my arm that didn't leave my side and I walked around there for another, like, hour or so just looking at everything and they didn't once, like, fly away from me and everybody kind of was pointing it out as they would walk by me. They would say, oh my gosh, like, you have two butterflies on you, which obviously made me incredibly emotional because, um, a lot of you know I've lost my mom. I also lost my maternal grandmother who I was very close with and was a very prominent figure in my life, sort of a second mother to me. And those are the two most significant losses I've experienced and so it was just, like, kind of crazy to me that I had two butterflies just come and hang out with me the whole time I was in there. And they didn't ever fly off. I had to find a flower to put them on. So, oh, grief. Grief just hits you sometimes and I definitely feel like I'm so full of gratitude but I also, this is definitely my grief resurfacing. So, it was, it was amazing. Highly recommend. I need to figure out where we are staying for the night. I think I'm probably just gonna do some, like, stealth street camping, street parking, but I need to dry my tears and blow my nose and find out where I'm driving us for the night. And that, that's, that's what I'm gonna do. Okay! I heard you want to leave this place, but we grew up this old town. Just leave it all behind. The river's gonna cry when you're gone. My pineapple. I'm gonna be too hot to sip. Yep, too hot. Locally made coffee. Sorry, I'm trying to get back on the interstate. All of this, like, what the heck, mom? What is wrong with you? Sorry.