Never Have I Ever With Joe Gatto

All right, here we go. This is never have I ever this is Joe Gatto. Here we go Never have ever fallen asleep in public Never have fallen asleep. Come on Never ever returned something after I wore it Would you would you get her what what happens if someone returns something in order to not show me a lot? They don't even need receipts Really walk in I saw people pick something up walk over to me, but I just bought this I don't want it anymore and we couldn't prove that they couldn't do it. We had to give them their money back Really sanity over there. It's mayhem. It's mayhem Yeah, it's mayhem, but i've done it too I wore a jacket once you've ever gotten something taken back where it was like stained and you're like, I can't take this I said this is good. This is gross. What are you doing this, but we had to take it back It came out of my pocket. You have to Um, never have ever peed my pants or bed as an adult As an adult. Yeah For sure for sure. Yeah, I peed the bed till I was 14 years old. So I was in young adulthood Yeah when I did it, but then I had uh that same flu we just talked about I woke up and it was it was a crime scene what I woke up into I had sweat everywhere And I was like, oh, I sweat a lot. I sweat a lot down here. Oh, no, I peed myself all over That's how cold I was Yeah Never have ever gotten into a physical fight Once and I lost happened and my nose broke 12 years old. I got beat up by the town ruffian Broke my nose. Yeah a lot of fights in your neighborhood No, I avoided most of them by hiding I took a good game. I took a good game. I'm able to talk my way out. Talk your way out What would you say what's good advice for being bullied at school? You know, here's what here's what I I once talked a guy out and hit me. I was like, you don't want to hit me This is how the conversation started. He's gonna punch you in the back I said, you don't want to hit me and he goes why don't I say you don't want to hit me I said first of all, what's gonna come of it? I said you're gonna win I said then what's gonna happen? You're gonna get in trouble. I literally talked the kid out of the enemy He's like he's like you're right And I was like, yeah, I know and you know i'm right like I made it like his idea not to punch me It was one of the best one of the best performances of my life well Never have ever been fired from a job. I'll say no You I would never fire you. You're like a great Yeah, you're a good employee. Yeah, I never got fired. Thank you. I appreciate that. Can I use you as a reference? Yeah, please Great. Thank you. Never have ever been someone's alibi Someone's alibi. Mm-hmm. Like your friend is saying gotcha. Hey, i'm gonna I'm sleeping at darren's house. No, I will I don't I don't think I ever had to do that Yeah, I don't think I i've had to do that because people pretty know. I've shoot pretty straight So I don't think I've ever I would I would though. It's this It's this because I haven't but I would if you need something you let me know You ever see the mob growing up in staten island? Yeah for sure. Oh, yeah, my mom forget it My mom my mom dated many half a gangsta after my father passed joe skun jeal. Joey skun should we call them? So your father passes and then your mom starts dating. Oh, that's odd. That's awkward. You hear through the vents. She was active I used to live in a basement She was active you were living in the basement Working on my improv and my mom was closing scenes of yes anding in her bedroom And I used to cave through the vents It's the worst I'm, glad you had fun. Yeah, you want your mom to hook up for sure? Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to Yeah, i'm going through that now with my girlfriend. I'm like, uh, I think i'm gonna say with your mom I said god bless she's gonna be up there in it. My friend married my mom your friend married Yeah, david dobrik for our youtube video married her officially. Oh, it's a really good bit. That's a great bit. Yeah, you guys have so many Sal married, uh marv married sal's sister. He did. Yeah Yeah And what? Sal was tied and couldn't he was strapped to like a young frankenstein setup with his mouth gag Then we said does anybody here object and he couldn't object That's ******* great Do you guys have a lot of writers for the show? Uh towards the end, yeah, yeah in the beginning it was well everything always came through us But we got a writer's room in like season four or five We got a room of like two. That's incredible. It's just the four of you are coming up with all the ideas Yeah, we came through a lot and we always signed off on all of them And there's so many bits of show Started with like five or six, but if you look at It's insanity if you do the numbers because in the first season We did we ended up doing like two or three bits of show right towards the end because we let the comedy breathe But in the beginning it was more like a clippy show. Yeah, right So there was like five or six bits per show with jokes in each bit Yeah, if you do the math and we'd have to we had to tell a million jokes a million jokes I don't think people understand how hard it is to fill 22 minutes Yeah, it's ******* impossible. Yes, both on the television and in the bedroom Unless you're my mother Okay, here we go never have ever lied to law enforcement Lying law enforcement. Yeah. Yeah sure for what speeding have you do you know how fast you're going? No, you ever gotten out of a speeding ticket money being you No, no, no not being me. I got I got I got one being me and that was annoying I said to the guy I took my glasses off and everything. I was like You know, it was in new york city. I'm like you kidding me. You don't know who I am He didn't know you didn't know me didn't know my mom got me out of one once Yeah, because I got a speeding ticket. I was I got this ticket. I was driving down She was in the big gambler. She was in atlantic city and she'd won. Yeah, right The bells are ringing and you know, I she called she said joey I just won ten thousand dollars come down meet me down So I come down she used to rock out at the hilton you drive down to atlantic city My mom hits a green. I have her car because she's with her boyfriend. Joe scunge I have her car which is a nice little two-seater slk. Yeah, right in mercedes, right little drop top i'm flying I'm going like 90 right whoop. I get pulled over right early in the day I was like my I was hanging out with my boys down at the jersey shore Yeah, I didn't have my I didn't have any clothes with me. I only had my flip-flops. She's like come down I was like, all right, i'll stop at macy's I go to macy's I get an outfit to use my macy's credit card I don't have my credit card. I have to show them my license. Okay. Yeah fast forward I get pulled over whatever I go. He's like license registration. I take out my wallet. It's on the thing at macy's I left my wallet at macy's. I don't have an id on me So I said to him I said oh officer. I apologize. I don't have my id on me I'm going 90 miles an hour in this mercedes one-year-old mercedes brand new right that's registered to geraldine gatto He's like, what's your name? I'm like joe gatto. He's like, give me your id I don't have anything with my name on it. I can't prove I am who I am He goes to me, okay, I gotta take you in I go what? So you can't take me in my mother will kill me. I said I want to see my mom atlantic city He goes what are you talking about? I gotta take you in He said how do I know you are who you are? I said I am he goes. All right. I said look up the license plate He goes he goes to look up the license plate. What the link between new jersey and new york is down He can't look it up. So now he's like I gotta take you in. He's like it's down There's no way for me to prove this. I'm like, I got it. That's what I said. I got it I give him my cell phone. I said call mom She'll answer her name is geraldine gatto and she'll tell you that I have my car The cop thinks this is an idea. He goes. Okay. He calls my mother who's in atlantic city Hello Hey poopy, baby. What are you doing? He's like, this is sergeant. Whatever his name was He's like from the jersey's gone state police. She goes my mom cuts off the cop goes put my son on the phone The cop goes ma'am. I'm just trying to tell you she goes put My son on the phone. The officer is sweating. He doesn't know what to do He goes your mom wants to talk to you. He gives you the phone. He drives away. No way. I swear to god Oh unbelievable, right? Oh, damn. That's my mom ******* awesome. She was no ******* joke. Jerry gatto. Yeah unbelievable It's a really good story This is rapid fire with joe gatto. Here we go Get that out for you because you guys have to switch it around favorite favorite episode of impractical jokers Favorite episode I episodes are hard But I will say one of my favorite things I ever did on practical jokers was when I broke tables using my body They made me find breakaway tables and I had to jump on tables to break to find a breakaway I did a lot but it was very funny I used my body as a weapon that or the genie when I was the genie they made they made me dress up as a genie and I had to wreck the set of a community play They hoisted me up and I used my body as a wrecking ball. I miley cyrus that ---- I was just knocking everything over and I went through glass and stuff. That was really fun. Did you get hurt? No, that one I didn't get hurt. Well, I did a little bit because they dropped me and I caught my neck in a rolled up rug I was like, oh besides that but it wasn't bad. Someone has a theory that chevy chase is so cantankerous because he Got hurt so bad Doing snl maybe yeah Someone has that theory. I don't know who said that somebody james said that it is tough though Like i've gotten hurt quite a bit. I've been tased. I never got to i've been buried alive i've been buried with my um Dirt up to my neck And uh, and it wasn't bad why, uh Because the gag was they they pull up a a thing and i'm i'm there for like lunch, you know But uh the weight of the soil. Yes after an hour and a half I almost died once they did a thing where they wanted me to escape from uh I played a magician and they legitimately cuffed me and put me in a in a In a uh full like straight jacket and they put basically a a a two Uh phone booth that was filled up being filled with water and they put me at the borgata in atlantic city And they said put on this magic show There's gonna be a big bit and they knew I won't be able to escape so I would just stand there for an idiot Like an idiot trying to escape and they never put somebody on turning the water off so the water's getting filled in and we're playing whatever and the water's getting higher and higher and i'm like And in my mind i'm like as a producer i'm like you can't tell somebody to turn the water off So I just start going water They cut out the show and then and the will faxon who was our our art director God bless him comes running over and he literally like yanks the thing as the water's like to hear on me It didn't make the show and no not the water part But the whole thing did and it's fine I stood there for 45 minutes as the crowd just sat there tried to watch me. I was banging my body around There's no show. I can't escape. I don't know how and people just watching me be an idiot for 45 minutes Yeah, it was fun Uh chocolate or vanilla vanilla 100 Each other time vanilla 100 Don't even see you seem like a chocolate guy I know and that's why i'm full of surprises and that's what the best part of me is Don't judge a book. Don't judge a fat by its cover is what i'm saying Are you dating not now right now? interested