Mitch McConnell Freezes ReUpload Fixed Audio Toronto Comedy Bar Josh Johnson Standup Comedy

I do appreciate how all of you manage to be these, like, international individuals, you know? Like, y'all care about things that are happening in the world and you consume all this media that is not yours. You don't have to if you don't want to, right? Like, I know that we're right there and we're very loud about it, but if you wanted to put the Sony XM4s on, you could, you know? But y'all keep up with your politics and our politics. We don't even do that. It's pretty wild. Like, I'm sure y'all have seen Mitch McConnell freezing up. If you don't know who Mitch McConnell is, he is the leader of the Republican Party in the states. He's the full time leader of the Republicans in the Senate. And he's a part time mime. And I know you're wondering, you're like, how is this happening? We're wondering the same thing. How is this happening? How is this? This is crazy. He's not he's not by himself. Biden's hella old. Trump is hella old. You know, Dianne Feinstein's hella old. We just keep letting older and older people stay in power. And we don't even really know why. I think that mainly there's something to be said for like how fearful Americans are. And so if there's anyone that can offer us any form of stability, we'll take it from them. You know, and that's what you get. You get people who serve 19 terms and everything came in. The fact that this man froze while they were asking him he was going to run for reelection. I think that was God answering for him. That's just that's crazy. If you didn't see the video, basically, they're like, would you be running for reelection? And then he went. He looked for a split second. He looked just like Jim from The Office. He was like and then his aide walked up and they were like, did you hear him? It's like hearing is not the problem, ma'am. And there are some people that are like, oh, leave him alone. He's an old man. All right. Well, just because you're old doesn't being old isn't a virtue. He was shitty all the way up until then. So I mean, I and look, I hope I. How do I word this? I hope he's able to maintain his health as well as the first responders from 9-11 that he voted against funding are able to maintain theirs. You know, I think that is weird. This is an odd thing. It's every time he freezes. He looks like he's he looks like he's seeing. It looks like you see all the black people you ever tried to stop from voting. Like it's like like they're just in the room with him. He's like, huh? That is a lot. I know you're wondering how did this happen? How did we get here? How do we have how do we end up staying here? Because he's not the only one. It's not I'm not even picking on Republicans, really. There's old Democrats. There's Democrats that you're like, why? How is this the person? Surely someone else believes what they believe and is like able. I mean, surely. Right. And I don't I don't think that the U.S. is just a fearful country. I think that we also we have this reputation. They talk about how baseball is the great American pastime. But it's not. It isn't. The great American pastime is arguing. We love to argue so much. A lot of people want to redo the Civil War. Like that's that's how much we love to argue. And it's not about the candidate. There's nothing so special about McConnell. There's nothing so special about Biden or Trump that they keep being in the position that they're in. It's that we like to argue so much that we do not pay attention until it's too late. Right. You. It doesn't matter. Biden, Trump, whatever. Don't throw all that stuff out there. You could put one party's candidate as a tomato and one party's candidate as a potato and we'll still have it out. As dumb as that is, we would still be like, well, I do like potatoes, though. But we don't know. We were very unsure as as a group of people. I'm sure it's terrifying for y'all because y'all are y'all are so close. Like you'd like this. You as Canadians must feel how I felt when I live next door to a drug dealer. Had nothing to do with me. It was none of my business. But you'd hear stuff through the wall. You're like, am I in danger? Like you even watch from afar, the shootings that we have, school shootings that we have is genuinely terrifying. It's terrifying for us, you know, and so many of them happen that there's no keeping up. Just within a week of each other, there was a shooting, there was a hate crime and then there was a shooting at a school. And you wonder, like, how is this sustainable? Is it possible for it to be sustainable? You know, you take a country that has this much crippling student loan debt and you. Carpet bombing with a bunch of school shootings is no wonder we don't like to read. Shit feels dangerous. That's my thing is I think it's going to change how future generations even talk about school because there's just so many. It's not this like uncommon occurrence. And like they don't all make international news because thank God not 13 kids aren't dying every time. But it's, you know, it is happening. Makes me wonder if 30 years from now, there's going to be a kid who turns to another kid. It's like, hey, him, got ice in his veins. Like what? Him? Yeah, him. What'd he do? He got a PhD. He went to school every day. He doesn't give a ****. I've been trying to make more friends. This thing where you where you are young and you have a lot of friends, you think that you're good at making friends. But there's a chance that you're not. There's a chance that these friends are just from convenience and proximity. Right. Because then when you get older, when you become an adult, you see how hard it is to make friends. You know, it's hard whether you're trying to date someone or make a friend. It's incredibly difficult to walk up to someone and make something out of thin air because that's what you're doing when you're building relationships. And and we're not always receptive to it. You know, we think that we're good at making friends. We think we want more friends, but sometimes it's not the day I got too much on my mind or don't talk to me here. It's impossible to know. Like if somebody rolled up to you right now, like, damn, man, I like your glasses. I like your hat. What you doing later? You'd be like, get the **** away from me. I don't know if it's drugs you've taken or drugs you need to be taken. But get away from me. I've been trying to make friends. I've been trying to make friends at the gym because that way I'll have a spotter. So I won't I won't gym alone. If you don't know what a spotter is, a spotter is a friend who lets you believe in yourself too much. You go to the gym together and you're like, I think I could push 300. And he's like, we'll see. So I did it. I made a friend at the gym. I was I was working out and I saw this guy and he he basically was. Was on the machine that I needed, so I was sort of waiting around. And have you ever met someone? Have you ever met someone that has been to so much jail? They've been to so much jail that they are from jail. Do you know what I'm saying? Like like you might be from Toronto, right? You might be from Vancouver. This man was from jail. And you know, he was from jail because he was like working out and he was barking in between reps. Like you were like, oh, it's like, OK. And he noticed me sort of lurking around waiting for him to be done on the machine. And he saw me. He was like, you try to get on this one. I was like, oh, maybe if you if that's OK with you. And he's like, let's take turns. I'm like, OK, OK. And so so we did. We took turns and I did my little like. And he did his like. And then for whatever reason, we just kept working out together. I was like, what workout are you doing? He told me. And so I just we took turns for the rest of the time that we were at the gym and we decided to be gym buddies. And I appreciate this about him. I really do appreciate this, that he did this, that he said this to me, you know, because we exchanged numbers and everything. And before I was about to leave, he was like, look, I got something to tell you. I was like, oh, well, you know, what is it? And he was like, I did a little time. Have you ever had someone tell you something that they thought was a secret? But was so painfully obvious you had to act surprised to not feel rude. So then he said, I do a little time. I was like, oh, time where? Time like abroad. And he was like, no. And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair enough. OK, I got you. So we decide to be workout buddies. And next time that we're supposed to meet up, I was I was late because I got off work late. So now I was heading there and I'm excited to see my new friend, my new gym buddy, my new spotter. And as soon as I see him, I'm thinking he's got a smile on his face, too. This man is pissed. Right. I walk up. He's like, where the **** was you? OK, I already started working out. I already did chest. I already did back. I already did stomachs. I was like, do you mean abs? And he's like, that's why I said stomachs. I was like, yep, you're right. Apples and oranges. Fair enough. So, you know, we started working out and and it occurred to me that like if I'm if if I really want a friend, the other thing that we do that stops people from being close to us is we like have little departments and categories for every friend. And sometimes we try to keep them there specifically. Oh, I want you there. This is as far as I want the friendship to go. And then we wonder why we don't have anybody close to us, because we didn't give at least everyone the chance to maybe be that close person. So I was like, if I'm going to be friends, let's do I got to be his real friend, not just a gym buddy, his real friend. Right. Because I this is just a personal thing. I'm not trying to put this on anybody, but I genuinely believe that if someone does a crime and they go to jail and then they get out, it should be done. They pay their debt and now it's time to move on or else what re-ingratiates them back into society. Why change at all? You know, I mean, so I'm I'm trying to do my best to like be his real friend. So I invite him to brunch and Saturday comes. Right. And he shows up to the brunch spot that I picked out that told him to come to with the biggest brown bag I've ever seen in my entire. I even know they made brown bags this big. It was a brown bag. Might as well been a garbage bag. This was crazy big. And it had a huge Tupperware of lasagna in it. And I was like, oh, what? Why did you bring that? And he's like, it's brunch, isn't it? I was like, yeah, but that's why we're here. That's why we're here at the brunch restaurant. Like you didn't have to bring any brunch with you because all the brunch is inside. He's like, that's not what you said. I'm like, I understand. I didn't tell you not to bring anything. That's my bad. I didn't I didn't realize I needed to say don't bring all the brunch will be inside when we when we get there. And he's like, but it's brunch. I was like, oh, yeah, you keep saying that. And I don't know what you mean. It's like it's brunch. I brought my lunch. I was like, oh, this dude went to jail before brunch was invented. OK, cool, cool. But my man loves 13 dollar mimosas. I know because I was paying after he finished when he's like, let's get another one. I was like, well, let's implies both. But yeah, whatever. But it's great. It's a great friendship to have, because honestly, this do. I can't I can't say this like as a blanket statement. But I will say if it's possible, you know, one things I think that makes society better and what would help. And reingratiating these these people back into society is if you had if everybody had a friend who had been to jail, because I will say this, a friend who's been to jail knows exactly when to leave a party. I went to a party. This dude invited me to. I'm there for 12 minutes. And he's like, we need to get out of here. I was like, oh, OK. And the next day I saw that party on the news. I was like, wow, he could smell it coming.