Don't Be Sensitive at a Comedy Show - Comedian Ron G - Chocolate Sundaes Stand Up Comedy Crowd Work

Hostages. Fellas, you better get your good girl and get out the game. It ain't safe out here no more. For real, get your good girl and leave. Matter of fact, take your phone. Brother, please let me be funny. I don't need your help with nothing. Your braids don't even hang. Don't do that right now. Let me finish, bro. Let me cook. I'm at work. I'm at work. You don't do this, bro. I do this. You don't want these problems. Get him. It's going to be awkward on the ride home. She's going to be laughing. Bro, don't be sensitive right now. It's weird. Don't be a grown man and be sensitive yelling out. Don't do that. Let me finish my joke, bro. I came here to cook. There's 300 people in here. Nobody came to see you, sir. Ah, man. I love my people, boy. He yelling out like he at home. Nigga, both sides. Nigga, this ain't no podcast. Nigga, let me talk. He yelling out. But see, the thing is, when you were an alpha male, when you were a provider, I drove. My braids don't hang, but my feet touch the gas because I'm driving. I'm a provider. I don't go 50-50. 100% of the gas I pay, but she helped me with my cell phone because of my music career. It's all good, bro. You're not going to boo me. I got fans, bro. I believe you, but you're here to see me. Nobody came to see you. Nobody bought a ticket to see you. See that? Let me finish, sir. Are you done? I don't want to interrupt you while you start your comedy career in the front row. On both sides, though. On both sides. Oh, ----. Give me a second. Let me reset the room. It's VIP upstairs if you want to go. VIP, if you really ... You sure? You can go upstairs. Go that way. It's upstairs. Y'all make sure she good. Hey, Ron, there ain't no goddamn VIP in this bitch. It's VIP today. I'll just **** with you. I'll just **** with you. Oh, ----. I think the ladies are smoking. Why are you yelling at me? Nigga, I don't even know you. He actually just started. That nigga has no accountability. That nigga interrupted my show. You started it. It's not even funny at this point. You ran off two women. Married? How long? Huh? Oh, she looked at your ass like, nigga, how long we been married? 17? That's good. I like marriage. Married? Look at this nigga. Why black people always got to turn around, start talking and ----? What is you talking about? That nigga ain't black. Okay, calm down, baby. Oh, Lord Jesus Christ. Calm down. It's all comedy, baby. No, I wasn't. I was talking to him. Nigga, did you smoke the same weed I smoke? Cause you tripping. Did you have some Afghanistan, nigga? Cause you tripping right now. Okay. Your girlfriend say chill out. Oh, I'm getting out of LA. This ************ going to hell. All right. It was fun. I just like having fun with everybody. Yeah. Yeah. We couldn't be ******* cause you talk too much. I'd be like, shut the **** up. It made my pussy dry all the way up. On the same plug. I can't run off the women, bro. You can't run off the women. Nah. Don't hit on that white man. You've done enough damage. Trying to go to jail. What's wrong, bro? Oh, I'm not funny. I'm not. Stop being fragile, nigga. You mad at me? Why are you fragile, bro? Why are you mad at me? I don't have a joke. I have nothing. Hey, don't he look like Beetlejuice from the Howard Stern show? This nigga mad at me. I didn't even say that to him. Every day I got to prove. This girl left and he mad at me. Like, nigga, why are you worried about me? Nigga, go get in your car seat and get home safe. Wow, boy. That nigga sitting at the chair. Both sides, nigga. Both sides. Wow. Hey, we said it was going to be that kind of show. We already said it. I'm mad, bro. Why? I don't like that. I don't like that, bro. Hey, Ron. We grown men, bro. Don't play with me like that. I don't like that, huh? You a ******* genius, baby. Don't worry about ---- like that. You don't worry about ---- like that. That's the devil trying to **** with you. Don't worry about ---- like that. Let's go. Nigga, I want to take a picture with this girl on stage and post it on Instagram. That's what I want to do. Jesus. VIP. We VIP. Who you with? Nigga. Oh, ----. Niggas is fragile. Yes, that's crazy. Huh? She coming? Yeah, she coming. Who you with? Who you with? Hold on. Hold on. Listen. Listen. The only reason why I won't do this is I got a family. I got to make sure I'm good. If a nigga I was single, I'd be a dog right now. No, you sit right there. Just sit VIP. I can't take a picture with. I ain't going to do that. Nigga fragile. I already know he's sensitive and he's short, too. Are you okay, boo? You good? I got your Uber, too. Huh? No, you can get your seat back. You're good. Yeah. All right. If you were single, what would you say? We're going to race at the room. Chocolate sundae. I need y'all to sing this ---- for me. One, two, three. God damn it. Let's go, genius. I'm mad, nigga. I don't play with niggas, bro. I came here to go to work. You bothering me and you being sensitive? I don't like that. We grown men. No, I know what I'm going to do. I just need to get it off my chest. If not, I'm going to take it home. I don't want to take the energy home. Is he always weird like that? Oh, y'all knew. That nigga weird. That nigga so weird. She said, I don't even know that nigga. You just met him? Oh, there you go. All right. God damn. Huh? Oh, he got other stuff going on. Okay. All right. He was pointing it toward me and it wasn't my problem, but he didn't know how to express himself. That nigga was like, I don't know my daddy. My praise is short and I'm short, too. Both sides, nigga. I'm not worried about her. I'm worried about you. That nigga hopped off the chair and was the same height. He had big talk, right? That nigga was six foot two in that chair, bro. I was like, big talk. He was like, I'm sitting here talking. He made him stand up. He was like, I'm worried about you, nigga. Can you stop being weird? Please follow along. Okay. Play it again. Did she just do the Hitler? Anybody saw that ----? White people. What was that? She went out and up. Ma'am, did you see that? You saw that, right? It wasn't just me. Black people. Y'all saw what happened? Lord. Was that on purpose? Did it slip out? A mega hat fell out and everything. She was like, I was like, what? Where were you on January 6th? That was awkward. You saw that? My goodness, ma'am. Do you want to redeem yourself or do you want to leave it like that? I don't, I don't know. We're going to give her one more shot. I don't. Oh my God. Oh no. Oh my goodness. This show is going to be awkward for the rest. Ma'am. Oh, now you're turning red, huh? Oh my goodness, people. Y'all saw what happened? Black people about to leave. She's like, I'm about to go tell my mama. I'm about to go pray. She bought, I'm about to pray for her. If y'all come back next week and this place wound up being a Jamba Juice, y'all know why. Freaking Bruno Mars was clowning me. He made me do some dance. Freaking Hitler came out. I don't know. I'm uncomfortable. Freaking Bruno Mars, whoever he was, he exposed me. I didn't come for that. Black people were enjoying themselves. It made me uncomfortable. That booty tight. She was next to the cushion of the chair. I don't like it. Freaking black people were laughing at me. They made me uncomfortable. I came here to laugh. Didn't come here for this. Jesus. All right. Moving on. Yeah. Freaking darkies laughing at me. It was an accident. They didn't see my mistake. They gave me no grace. I don't like it. I'll do it again. How you doing? What's up? Oh, thank you. You made me burp. All right. Cool. Stand right here. Stand right over here. Yeah. You're strong. All right. She lit me up. I was like, wait a second. Put me down. All right. Can I get my boy Eddie to come to the stage, man? It's his birthday. Y'all show my bro Eddie with that birthday shirt. I see what you're doing. My man. So look, this is my bro Eddie, man. He's been a friend of Chocolate Sundaes for a long... Jesus. Okay. Ma'am, she about to get everybody killed. He's married. Listen. No, it's okay. You can't hug a black man from the back. It's weird already. No, ma'am, you're not going to hug me from the back too. It's okay. She tried to big spoon you and you didn't let it happen. It was like the Janet Jackson album. All right. Cool, ma'am. Just be still for a second. It's your birthday, ma'am. I just need you to sing. You can stand up, please. I need you to sing happy birthday to Eddie. Can you do that for me? And not the one that everybody else know. I can do that by myself, but I'm trusting you have a unique version of happy birthday that we can sing for him right now. Okay. Hey Eddie, when I smoke I only take in half the hits, so I can stay a little bit longer with you. And when I drink I only take in little sips, so I can sway a little bit longer too. So happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to you. Eddie, if you don't leave that woman alone. Here man, come on up here. You want to sing to him? All right. I got you. I got you. And young lady, I don't know where you at. God bless you. I have nothing to say, but God bless you. Thank you. Wasn't she like just moving active? She just, just touchy-feely like, we can't do that. You get a case over here. She metooed him twice. I'm like, you're not gonna say nothing in front of everybody. Y'all just let it happen. Y'all didn't protect him. You didn't protect black men. You just let that woman fondle him in front of everybody. He got glitter on the neck and glitter all on the side of his face and y'all ain't say nothing. And she was singing. It sounded like the window was up. Somebody let the window down so I can hear her. I can't understand nothing she's saying, man. Good to see you. Can you stand over there on that side right there? Why you walk like I'm forcing you? That torso don't move at all. Now, can I have the birthday girl Shalima to come up here, please? Shalima, can you go this way as well? You gotta dress up. Oh, you got it. Okay. I was trying. Okay. Oh, absolutely. I got you. I got you. I tried it. You can win time. You can't get over and you can't get out. That's the alcohol, don't it? She could have did that. She just, you know, four drinks in. That's all that is. It's her goddamn birthday. **** all y'all. It's my birthday. **** all y'all. Period. Sidekick, give me a second. I'm sorry. I know you are and it's okay. I don't know how old you are, but you look good. Do you want to have a seat is what I'm worried about. You sure? Please don't drop it down low ever again. Don't do that. I know, but you dropped it like it was too heavy to carry. What I'm saying is, no, no, no. First of all, y'all don't know how she gripping my hand right now. My thumb is throbbing. Okay. All right, good. So listen, can you sing? Can you sing her happy birthday? But sing your version. Don't do the happy. I know that one. You sing your version. I'm rooting for you. And if not, I'm gonna scratch that off your forehead. She a woman of a certain age and I'm older than her. And I'm like, Holly, all of you is in here. Okay. I just want to put the ---- out there. All of you. And I've been drinking, smoking weed, drinking in the court. She got to do a prelude to the goddamn song. You know, you ain't never been loved before like I've been loved. If we was gay, we would be married. We ain't gay. People, we sorry. This is not how we used to do ----. Hey. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Dear Salima, my beautiful. So what's that number? I said, what's that birthday number? Is it December? Is it December? Is it December? Is it Saturday? It's your birthday. Don't say it's your birthday. Thank you. Man, the maintenance. I thought she was playing, but as she was struggling, she was looking me in the eyes. And she was processing with her mouth open. It was a lot going on. They done had all the liquor. Ain't no more liquor. A friend come up and singing like she sleep with the fan on. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. If I was gay, she would be my girlfriend. Why you sound like T-Pain? Don't you sound like an empty stomach?