Did You Pay Security？ - Comedian Ron G & BT Kingsley - Chocolate Sundaes Stand Up Comedy)

We got a rising star in the building that wanted to share their gift. If I can, can we have Taylor Major come to the building, man? Taylor, come on down here. Come on, Tay. Expeditiously, please. Taylor Major. Can y'all keep clapping till Taylor gets here? Excuse me, sir. Excuse me, sir. Taylor, come on up here, girl. Come on up here. Oh, you security? Oh, okay. You going to stand there? Okay, I didn't know what the plan was. Okay, cool. Taylor, you want to... Okay, so Taylor is from Chicago, right? Chicago? Southside? Southside? I don't know the difference. I just know South... Okay, cool. She's also... Huh? This your moment. Don't... Stop. That's enough, sir. Thank you. Appreciate it. That's enough. Doing way too much. Clock out. Thank you. All right. Taylor, it's showtime. 22 years old, an artist from Chicago. You want to share something with the people? Yeah. So I want y'all to change the game for me real quick, real quick. I just started. I'm being asked to come perform in L.A. I performed yesterday. I got a few songs out. Just look at me up. If you ain't ******* with me right now, you gonna **** with me. I promise. I promise. Oh, and happy Black History Month. Absolutely. Absolutely. Can never forget it. Happy Black History Year. Year. That's right. But yeah, change the game for me. Go follow my Instagram. I'm the Taylor Major. Real straightforward. Real simple. I'm out here. Hell yeah. Yo, let's do something. Let's just... Yeah. Let's go. Y'all gon' vibe with me, okay? If you want anything in life, you can do whatever the **** you want to do. I want to have a dog, but my dreams ain't trying to stall. Trying to kill from around where niggas ball. Where you drill from a hooper to a baller. Trying to be a shot caller. Splurging at the mall. Dream fulfilled. Retired mom from a job. Live in the hills. No more crying over milk that is spilled. I know that I'm gonna make it. Always knew I would've made it. Attend the school. Follow the rules. Go to all my classes. Daydreaming. People coming to see me. By the masses. God only knows. Who you are and what you can do. When am I gonna shine like a star? Do my telescope glasses. Day to day just trying to hoop. I'm really trying to find pursuit of happiness. But you want me and ways to interest you. Unfortunately, loyal man is not something that I could do. If it was, I wouldn't be driving in this ******* coupe. So I quit and I was thinking twice. Because like I said before. I'm a grain in a bag of rice. Difference between us is that no matter what. I will suffice the mud I've been stepping through. Someone else would've took a life or start playing with another. I wanna have it all. And I will. But my dreams ain't trying to stall. Trying to kill from around where niggas ball. Where you drill from a hooper to a baller. Trying to be a shot caller. Splurging at the mall. Dream fulfilled. Retired mom from a job. Live in the hills. No more crying over milk that is spilled. I know that I'm gonna make it. I always knew I would've made it. **** with me. **** with me. That Ed Tai. Hey, we ain't talking about selling drugs. We ain't doing no lean. She went through her classes. Got all good grades. And now she's coming out here doing her dream, y'all. Make some noise for them. Thank you. Thank you. Change the game for me. Follow my Instagram. I'm out here. Chicago, LA, Phoenix. Thank you. I love y'all. Y'all show Taylor some love, everybody. Show Taylor some love. And her security. Nigga ain't got no belt. Nigga came here for one song. So, how long am I doing security? The whole show? Just one song? Okay, cool. So you play me about an hour, right? If you pick... Nigga came here for six versions. Yep, got my money. All right, cool. Thank y'all. I'm gonna make sure I get her back to her seat. Easy money today. Easy money. Nigga paid an hour for a two-minute song. Pro-rated. I want all my money. Well, usually I'm $500 for an hour, but if it's doing one song, I just stand next to the stage. I pay $500 an hour usually. Three hour minimum, but if you're just doing one song, I'm gonna walk you to the stage, let you do your song. You can back the host in the corner, come back over here, finish your song, and I'm gonna just walk you back to your seat. Pro-rated. Just put it down. Two-minute song. Song and a half. I'm not including the intro because you do the intro too, and that's why I have to add another $500 to it. So you do your intro, talk about where you're from, you make good grades, and then you do your song. I'm gonna stand next to the stage on this side, so if something happens, we run out the door, I can escort you back to the car, to the Uber. Because I didn't drive here, I didn't bring my belt. If something happens, I'm gonna have to hop in the car with you, but I'll make sure the perimeter's good. I'll make sure I'm right here by the stage, if something goes down, I'm riding with you. Didn't bring my belt, didn't bring my license, but I got my security vest. It's the 50 Cent first album vest. Got that on, next to the stage, no belt. Back the host in the corner right here. Host in the corner. I got you, leather dress, gold tooth, we here. I got the perimeter. Perimeter right here. Make sure nothing go down. I'm gonna need a ride home. Didn't bring my belt or my license. Three hour minimum. But you doing two minutes. 50 Cent first album vest. Cool, alright. That's how you walked up? That nigga walked up rubbing his chest and sat down. What was security when you need them? Nigga clocked out and I needed them. He got his check already. He in the Uber already drinking juice. Is he on the job? No belt. Nigga walked up rubbing his chest and he wouldn't know he's supposed to cover the perimeter from this, nevermind, alright. Cool. Y'all ready for some more show? Make sure you scan the QR code, man. Coming to the stage. I need y'all to start clapping. Get your energy up. Start clapping right now. Man, I'm gonna cross your arms. We having a good time here. We having a great time. Coming to the stage, man. He's on every commercial. He's one of the hosts here. I need y'all to start clapping right now for my brother, my friend. Show some love for B. T. Kingsley's. Interesting ass crowd. Y'all didn't have a ******* show tonight, nigga. Flame came up. Niggas was confused. Y'all already know. So, fellas, if these titties is turning you on, know, nigga, that these titties come with a nine-inch side effect. I just want you to be clear. When girls start singing the remix of I know I can be what I wanna be. If I make heart of it, I be what I wanna be. I know I can be what I wanna be. Ay, ay. That ---- was hard, nigga. No twerking, just education. But sidekick, you got me fucked up. I got a whole album. Next year, I'm doing that whole album, nigga. Next show, nigga. Matter of fact, play track one. Nigga, no comedy tonight, nigga. Nah, I quit. I'm so mad at your ass, nigga. That nigga ain't never encouraged me to do my music. Yeah, I started rapping in my 30s. I don't give a ****, nigga. Support me. You my friend. You don't know none of the songs from my album, nigga. That was my little fallback. If comedy didn't work out, I guess it ain't gonna work out since the DJ I'm the coolest with don't have it in his little laptop. Some bullshit, man. I've sold, like, 28 albums, nigga. You put some respect on my name, nigga. Black woman gonna support you. Clock it, boo-boo. I dated with a nigga with a mixtape. He didn't sell that many. Nigga go to the gas station every day, and they come back with nothing. I'm gonna shut the **** up. No, no, no, no, no. Tonight's not the time. I'm nervous now. Don't do that, kid, because it's not the time. I have to do a set, nigga. I can't do this, nigga. Jealousy and hate but you niggas cannot defeat me. You're black and fly. You should call me Tuskegee. You're black and fly. You should call me We can't do that. Stop. Come on, man. I'm sorry, K.I.C.K., for everything I ever said. Follow K.I.C.K. at your favorite DJ's favorite DJ. That's my favorite DJ, Ty K.I.C.K. I want to be on a remix of I Know I Can. Good ----, mama. You hear me? Good ----. Good ----, security. That's how you play that Hollywood ----, right, nigga? That's her little brother. That nigga's not security at all, but it look great. Because some of you niggas are, oh, ----, she got security. Nigga, look. Nigga, being an independent artist is hard as ****. All you comedians, shut the **** up. That ---- way harder, nigga. Them niggas have to pay money to go to the studio to come out to perform the music for nobody to like the ----. You know how hard it is to get a nigga to sing a song he don't know? These niggas come on stage. All right, so this is gonna happen. I'm gonna say, yeah, yeah, and then y'all gonna say, go to the stove, brother, and then I'm gonna go, I'm at the stove already. You know what I'm saying? All right, y'all ready? Y'all be like, nigga, no. That ---- is hard, nigga. Nigga, that ---- is so, I understand your struggle, baby. I done did a few music shows. Them niggas was looking at me crazy as hell. They was like, wrap it up, my boy. I was like, nigga, this is all right. Listen to the beat. The beat good. The beat good ----. That ---- is hella difficult, nigga, and they pay money. Niggas be $1,000 in the studio, and you know what's fucked up about it? Nobody wants to hear that ----, and you know what you want? Somebody to hear that ----. Yo mama listen to music every day. She won't play yo ----. It's like, ooh, bitch, I'm gonna put yo ass in a home. I promise you going to a home, bitch. I can't wait till you get Alzheimer's. I'm gonna keep playing this bitch on repeat. That's how they be, bro. That ---- is ******* difficult, nigga, and the only person you think might want to listen to it is other artists. Here's the crazy part. When you have these niggas listen, they think it's an invite to get on the song with you. You're like, oh, yeah, man, maybe I can **** with this. They're like, no, nigga, I just needed somebody to listen. I'm $1,500 in the hole, nigga. Hey, I ******* support it, you hear me? That ---- is ******* difficult, nigga. All you comedians getting on stage for free. Nigga, some $5 get up. Oh, I can't do that. These niggas tripping. Promote. I can't promote nothing, nigga. Nigga. Imagine having to go home, write out your jokes, but you couldn't tell them to nobody. Every time you start your set, niggas be like, no, no, no, we good. Nigga, trying to get a nigga to sing a song he don't know is outrageously difficult, bro. You know how bad it is, bro? Watch this. You know how ******* sad it is? The hardest part about this ---- is nobody wants to hear this ----, right? So right now, if I started doing it, y'all be mad as hell. And you niggas know me. You know what? Play track numbers, look. Nigga like, all right, nigga, we gave it up the first time, nigga, don't make me hear that ---- again. Y'all give it up for him one more time. Good ----. Good ----, security. You can iron that ---- on right before you got here. It's a regular vest. He said, iron security on that bitch. Security wasn't even spelled right if you look closely. That ---- says cereal. Ha ha ha!