Preschool Pariahs Why These Children Were Deemed Too Dangerous For Education True Lives

Enrolling today, Lottie, Kaysen, Hello, you alright? and Sienna. But this is no ordinary nursery. Many of the children have been sent home or had serious problems at their own nursery. Here, psychologists and specialist teachers work with the pupils and their parents. Their aim? To analyse behaviour and come up with an individual plan to turn their lives around. It's headed up by child psychologist Laverne Antrobus. We want to get to the bottom of why these children feel so out of control and give their parents the support they need to change this behaviour. Laverne runs the nursery with the help of clinical psychologist Jess Elmer. I think this is a great space for the children to come. Lots of interesting things for the children to do. But it will be a challenge for the children. It's a new situation for them. Come on then Kaysen, it's your turn. First on the agenda today, the children have all gathered on the carpet with teacher jewels for a game of what's in the box. Come on then, let's have a look in that box and see what's in there. What have you got? All except Lottie, that is. Three-year-old Lottie has already been forced to leave one nursery because of her daredevil behaviour. No! No! No, straight across the road. In the house now. I was getting called to pick Lottie up maybe once, twice, three times a week. No. It's dangerous. She was a danger to herself and a danger to others. Mum Joanne has had to give up work to keep a constant eye on Lottie's dangerous behaviour. Get down. I don't get a minute. Basically I need eyes all around her. No, you get down. She's worried about how Lottie will cope when she goes to school. She doesn't care about consequences. You can take her away from the situation and she'll just go back and do exactly the same thing. You. Get down. Right, I want to make tea. No, stop it. Yeah, she doesn't care. Lottie also has an extensive vocabulary. I say the F word a lot. You shouldn't say the F word, should you? She'll move it to me. That don't matter. She'll pretend to count. Two. And stick the fingers up. No. She knows exactly what she's doing. When you've got a child who just doesn't listen. No, no. You think, what have I done wrong? What have I done wrong? I'll put this down. Unsurprisingly in the nursery, Lottie is struggling to keep her feet on the ground. Uh-oh, now the turn's going to be missed. You're sitting so beautifully, it's your turn. That's going to go back. Lottie's going to miss a turn because she was messing about with her furniture. What a shame. Your turn. But even with the threat of missing the fun, Lottie can't help but keep exploring. Sit down. Good boy. Laverne calls Joanne in to find out how Lottie's behaviour is affecting the family. You and your husband, how do you manage that between you? It's hard because it's like when he comes home from work, I'm, like, stressed. I'm on top note. I'm exhausted. I'm absolutely exhausted with it all. And is the exhaustion the sort of constant worry but the sort of watching you have to do? I mean, it sounds like you have to be almost behind her. Yeah, you do. She's constantly thinking of things to do, I think. I don't know. She's just constantly doing things. Yeah, she's constantly on the move. She's sort of constantly seeking some sort of, I don't know, contact with the sort of way in which she feels, I suppose, when she's up high. I'm worried that, like I say, she's going to hurt herself one day. You know, and if she does hurt herself, then... Yeah. I mean, it feels like a real struggle to really get to what it is that's driving her in this behaviour. It doesn't... So I'll have to keep an eye on her over the next few days just to see if there's any sense from what I'm seeing, you know, what it's rewarding her with. Joanne is desperate for help with Lottie and that's what this nursery's here for. If we don't help these parents now, the behaviour that their children are exhibiting is only going to get worse. Back in the classroom. Right. Do you think you can help me grab this paper? Ever since arriving, five-year-old Sienna has clung to teacher Jules and refused to play with the other children. Can you put those up there for me? Thank you. OK. Magic wand. Do you want to look after that? Sienna has been brought to nursery because she demands constant attention from her mum, Danielle. And throws tantrums if she doesn't get her own way. It's either her way or no way. If I sat talking to you and she was here, she'd be messing around, doing whatever she could to distract that, so I had all my attention on to her. Sienna and Danielle live in Salford. Have you done that? I thought you were saving that. Danielle is a single parent and struggling to cope with Sienna... ..who wants to be with her day and night. When I try to go to put her in bed so I can have my chill time, she's constantly up, on the go, messing around. Come on. Now. And then she's telling me she hates me, I'm a fat cow, because she doesn't want to go to bed. Now, hold my hand. She'll smash things and rip things off the wall and scream and shout and swear and spit. Don't throw things like that. I couldn't imagine my life without her, but she just needs to change her attitude and her ways, really. Get away from that. I can't do anything else with her to do it. There's nothing else I can do. At the nursery... Hi, Danielle, really nice to meet you. Hi, Jess. Hi, Jess, you all right? ..clinical psychologist Jess has asked Danielle to come in for a chat. It's like she wants to be there with her 24-7. And where do you think that comes from, that wanting you there? I don't know. It's like an attachment thing. It's like giving me a safeguard, and if I'm there, she's happy. OK, so she feels worried when you're not there? Yeah, that's what it seems to be like, a bit like that. She still needs to know that you're there. Even if I'm going out or going to work, or if I'm putting make-up on, she'll say, can you not just stay here with me? What do you think she's worried about? She probably thinks I'm never going to come back. That sounds really tricky for the both of you, I was thinking. For you, because you're trying to support her to become more independent. Yeah. And for Sienna, because you're kind of locked into this situation where she needs to keep you close. Yeah. Hi, Sienna, how are you doing? Good. Jess has invited Sienna to join them. Thank you so much for coming today. She has an activity for Sienna that might help them understand her issue with separation. I wondered if you could draw a picture of your family. Do you think you could do that? Who are you drawing? My mum and my grandma. That's me. That's not her. Where is she then? Mum's ex-boyfriend's kid, that's what she means. Oh, okay. Who's this? Sienna. Mum's ex-boyfriend. There we go. Wow. Where's you and Mummy? I guess it's hard when you're little as well to kind of make sense of all the different people around. I think it's difficult for her to understand why people are there and then they disappear as well. I think she doesn't understand that. Yeah. I wonder if that's where some of the worry comes from about you as well leaving her. Well, then, shall we go back in there? Thank you, Jess, again. Thank you. I'll see you soon. See you very soon. From talking to Mum, it does seem like it's a real worry for Sienna, Mum not being there. That will have an impact on how able she is to develop friendships. So I'm curious to find out a bit more about that. Bye-bye. Take care. See you soon. Bye-bye, Sienna. Bye-bye. Parents can often underestimate just how important they are to their children, particularly when their children's behaviour is something that they're very, very worried about. Often they are the key to the changes that the children need to make because they're the person that their child looks to for support and guidance. Catch! Woo! This is The Naughty Nursery. Catch! Run by child psychologist Laverne Antrobus, it aims to help parents gain control over their unruly kids. This week, the nursery welcomed three new families, all absolutely desperate for help. At his own nursery, Kaysen has been known to hit both children and staff. I think I'm really starting to feel that Kaysen is somebody that we need to think of as much younger than he is. Yeah. Just because you're three doesn't mean you're going to have all the skills and tools of a three-year-old. Kaysen's mum, Sarah, has brought him to The Naughty Nursery because she's worried about his violent outbursts. He always wants one-to-one attention. And if I can't give him that one-to-one attention, that's when he'll start reacting. Sarah and Kaysen live in Wensbury in the West Midlands. A single parent and stay-at-home mum, Sarah spends all of her time with Kaysen. Starts from when he gets up in the morning. Getting him changed, that's the main key point. He's probably the worst when he mixes with children, especially younger children. You dare. Don't. I'm embarrassed to invite anybody to my house or even take him anywhere. Because what he does... Kaysen, leaving. Kaysen. No. He'll do exactly the same to me. He'll scream, he'll punch. Kaysen's bad behaviour is driving Sarah to despair. Stop it. You just don't want to get up in the morning. To listen to a three-and-a-half-year-old, that rules your life. In the playground, Kaysen is upset because he wants the bike. But it's not his turn. Kaysen struggles with anger, especially when he doesn't get his own way. And today, he won't take no for an answer. Jules is using the distraction technique in the hope that Kaysen will lose interest in the bike. He's clearly still frustrated about losing his turn, but the distraction has worked to defuse the situation. Having seen Kaysen's aggression first-hand, Jess is keen to chat to mum Sarah. It sounds like he gets quite frustrated and, like, dysregulated. He's got a lot of anger. I just don't know where the anger... He'll stand there and he'll go... Then he'll just run up to you, full-blown punch you. Oh, gosh. Yeah. How often does that happen with you? Oh, it probably happens up to ten times a day. What's that like for you when that happens? Oh, it's terrible. You just look at him and you think, like, is it something I've done wrong? Do you know what I mean? It's something I'm doing. You can take him shopping because he's swearing. He's throwing things off, like, the counters. People are looking, they're staring, they're thinking, oh, God, like... So many parents I talk to say it's so difficult because there's other people around and you're having to think about that dynamic as well. It's a lot to think about. People look at you and you can see them staring at the corner of their eye. Enough. And just, like, looking, you have to say, like, if you saw, like, the language he's using. And you just, like, oh, my God, like, come on, let's just go on. Forget it, you put the basket down, you walk out the shop. Yeah. Yeah, that's how it's come to. The fact that she's worried about leaving the house with him rings massive alarm bells. This is only going to get more difficult as Kacen grows up. So we really need to give Sarah the confidence to enforce boundaries so that we can nip this in the bud. Great. Want to go and sit by Jules? Back in the classroom... Jules is doing an activity together with them all on the table. Right, come on then, Sienna, lead the way. What are we going to make? Five-year-old Sienna is still clinging to teacher Jules. Can you find a head for Lottie, please? Oh, kind. Thank you, darling. So Jules is giving her tasks that force her to interact with the other children. Her draw is to interact with the adults around her. Show him that bit as well, like yours. So she might like to take that role of grown-up, perhaps, because the other children are that little bit younger. Thank you. Here you are, friends, you sit down. Laverne and Jess have invited mum Danielle to see how Sienna is coping without her. Considering she didn't want to come this morning, so I'm actually shocked. Last night I said, so let's go to sleep, you've got a big old nose, she said to me, no, I'm not, you're just stupid. Can you give the cat head to Lottie? What do you think that reluctance about coming in was about? Did you get a sense of that from Sienna? No, it's just because I was leaving her, I think that was probably more of it. And I know that's something that's really tricky for the both of you. Well, this must feel remarkable, then, that you see her looking so settled. That is your daughter in there. That's not the girl I've seen this morning, that's for sure. It's like she's got a split personality with me and with other people. Another way of thinking about it is that there's a deep connection to you that we have to try and help. Try and get away from, unravel it a bit more, so she does have that extra mile away from her. And that you get a bit of space as well. Oh, spot on, thank you. It's really important that parents realise that children are very astute in understanding how their parent is feeling at any given time. So if things are stressful at home, if you yourself as a parent are feeling like you are struggling, it's really important to get some help and support for this, because then you'll be able to work out which bits are about you and your child's relationship and which bits about you in your own adult right. Lottie. Three-year-old Lottie is once again causing havoc. Since she arrived, the team have been unable to take their eyes off her due to her constant climbing and unsafe behaviour. She clearly loves being physical and moving around and she's confident with it. Lottie, feet on the floor. It's almost become a bit of a game itself. Lottie gets quite a thrill from climbing and exploring her senses in this way, but she also enjoys the reaction that adults give her. Oh, come on, feet on the floor. OK, if I put my feet on the floor, you put your feet on the floor? I guess her sense of danger and understanding of risks is not quite there yet. Yeah, I'm having to really keep that quite powerfully in my mind because, you know, she can do this so well. Yeah. This part of me thinks, wow, determination, strength, actually risk. Yeah. And it's not just Lottie's climbing that needs addressing. It's interesting, though, how many times Lottie goes to the toilet. She's in and out of there quite a bit. I think that she enjoys the hand dryers and the water. She's got a way of exploring the world, hasn't she, though, which is all about touch and sensory nature, you know. As we see some of their behaviour emerge, there are adults on hand who can be really responsive and turn their behaviour around. Some of their children need a very different form of response and parenting, but it's something we need to work on with them. This week, the Naughty Nursery welcome three new children, Lottie, Sienna and Kacen. For their parents, the Naughty Nursery really is the last resort. Lottie. I'm worried that she's going to hurt herself one day. They're desperately hoping psychologist Laverne and her team can help them get their children's behaviour under control. Hello. Hi. After monitoring their children for a couple of days, Laverne and Jess have some feedback. And new coping strategies for all the parents. What we really want to do is help parents realise the effect that they can have on changing their children's behaviour. We're not going to be able to fix their children here and now, but hopefully we're going to be able to work with them and send them away so they've got the skills to make the changes they need to. First up, Laverne and Jess discuss Lottie's dangerous daredevil behaviour with mum Joanne. For Lottie, so much of her behaviour is centred around how she makes sense of her environment through touching and feeling. It's a bit like if she's got something in her mouth, it helps her to concentrate. Yeah. If she's opened a bottle of juice, she'll put the lid in her mouth and she'll just play with it with her tongue and her mouth, but I'm like, it's dangerous, get it out. I think you'd probably say, OK, I think I know what you're going to want to do with that, just for a little while. I'm not going to let you do it with the top of a can. Yeah. But you can have this. Yeah. And Sienna. Next up, Danielle, whose daughter Sienna demands constant attention and refuses to be separated from her mum. Sienna can sometimes be unsure of herself in terms of her confidence in trying new things and needing quite a lot of reassurance. Yeah. It's really helpful to encourage her and to praise her. Oh, spot on, thank you. And for her to know that you are holding her in mind when she's trying new things. Knowing that your parent has got their mind on you is the most comforting thing that we can do to help children achieve some sort of certainty about the world. Yeah, that's true, because every night I've spoke to my mum and I'm 27 and it's like, that makes me feel better knowing that she's ringing. Exactly. We all need that. Yeah. Some of us need that a bit more than others. And that seems to be something that's important for Sienna and something that you're connecting with and noticing already. Finally, Kaysen's mum Sarah. She's hoping to discover the cause of his aggression towards her and other children. Kaysen can find it harder to express himself with words and it really helps him to model speech and encourage him to use his words. Some of the sources of frustration for him are because he can't express himself. I've never looked at it like that, but like you say, he just probably doesn't know how to say what he wants. Yeah. So he thinks if I go at her with fists, then I'll communicate that way. Most of the time when he's shouting at me, I'm shouting back just to get my point across. It's like having an 18-year-old, not a 3-year-old. So I'm just hoping that we come to that level that we can both just sit there, I can understand what he's saying, he can talk to me calmly and he understands that he's not going to shout and kick off. There you go. Off you go, guys. Following on from the feedback session, Laverne has set up a sandwich-making task for the children to complete with the help of their parents. I want to see how they've taken on board our feedback and how they use it to really help their children complete the task. Lottie is eating more than she's putting in her sandwich. This feels like quite typical behaviour from Lottie, when she's seeking out a sensory experience while she's completing the task. She gets to be much more focused when she's got the tomato in her mouth. I think what Joanne needs to do is to not get caught up in what she's doing that she may be feeling is off-task, but seize that focus and help Lottie get through to complete the rest of the activity. Things are very quiet at Kaysen and Sarah's end of the table. Just watching Sarah and Kaysen, I'm quite worried about the communication or the lack of communication between them. What she's said is that she's had so many problematic encounters with Kaysen that she doesn't quite feel as connected as she would like to be with him. Kaysen. It's almost as if they've forgotten how just to be with each other and enjoy each other's company. Sienna has already finished her sandwich and is thinking about a second course. You're having a fruit salad? Wow, that sounds good. And I noticed you were giving Sienna that chance to take the lead. Would that be what happens normally at home? No. What's been different about this then? Certainly a lot more butter on it than normally, that's for sure. And I guess you've had to kind of let that go a little bit. Just leave it to it. How does it feel to let her take the lead and do that? Unusual. Boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, it is time to finish. With the task over, it's time for the parents to take their leave. Say bye-bye to Miss and we'll see you later. Sienna, can I show you your sandwich? Come on, stay with your teacher. Stay with us then. Is this what normally happens? It really upsets her, doesn't it? It really upsets her. And what would normally help Sienna in these moments? Yeah. A lot of options with her. While teacher Jules encourages Sienna back into the classroom, Laverne and Jess try to reassure Danielle. That's what she's like any time I go anywhere, not just at school. Any time I leave her, so it's quite frustrating. It's like her eyes on me. Do you understand now why it's just hard and frustrating as a mum? Because I just don't know why she does it to me. Well, I think she's not doing it to you, but it makes you feel something. Cos she wants to be with you. Don't get me wrong, I want to be with her, but I just want a break most of the time. Just like a break from her. It's so hard to control. It feels like it's me that's... Why is she like that? Well, you're part of it cos you're her mum. I mean, you know... It's like the only thing she's got, really. Well, you're the key person in her life, and so that will mean it's harder to separate from you, but also she'll test things more with you as well and express how she's feeling more with you because she feels safe enough to do that. But I'm also hearing that that can feel suffocating. This task has been really important, and it's highlighted the areas that we still need to work on with the parents. Hi! Come in and sit down with me. Back in the classroom, Jewel's attempts to settle the children down for a nice afternoon story. I think we've got Goldilocks and the three bears. Can you show me your best sitting? We'll all copy Lottie's brilliant sitting. Oh, there's Lottie. Oh, Lottie. In contrast, Kacen is listening and following instructions from Jewel's. Kacen, ready for chairs? You going to be the bear? Come on, then. We've seen Kacen's aggressive behaviour, but we can also see from this story time that Kacen can be calm and cooperative. Come here. Can you see the little chair? Which one is the little chair? That one. Good choosing, Kacen. When he gets clear speech with lots of expression and hand signals, he's able to understand what's expected of him. Who's sitting on my chair? Brilliant. Ready for that? Can you do that? Laverne and Jess want mum Sarah to see how clear communication is transforming Kacen's behaviour. Who's been sitting on my chair? Can you do that? Yes, fantastic. Great job. It's nice to see that he ain't misbehaving and he can play nice with other children. Yeah, in a way reassuring to know that it's possible. Yeah. And Lottie, you going to come here and do your big bear voice? Come on, then. I think he's having to work really, really hard, isn't he? He's taking all of his energy and concentration. I just want to go and jump on the bear. Yeah, he does really bad. You can tell he's itching to do something, but he's just containing himself. I know. Kacen, can you put it by Lottie's chair, sweetheart? Good listening, Kacen. That's amazing to see. Do you know what? Daddy bear thinks you are, absolutely. After the observation, Jess takes the opportunity to find out more about Sarah's approach to discipline at home. Every time I think I'm going to end up into a fist fight, I'm going to end up with the shouting, the swearing, the spitting. Does that make you back down, then, you feel? Yeah, I just completely give up. It's exhausting. It just makes you feel mentally drained. I'm just wondering if that feeling flat or down about it, does that get in the way of things with you and Kacen? It could do, yeah, because sometimes I do look at him and I do, like, resent him for the things he's done. Has seeing him today or thinking about things made you think that there's anything different we might need to do for Kacen? I'm not sure. Maybe it's working with me, with him. I just don't know what it is, whether he's just getting that negative energy off me sometimes. Maybe we need to think about ways to bolster you up and feel better. Yeah, you're probably right, yeah. A big part of the problem is she's trying to do absolutely everything. She gets no time for herself, which means she's too exhausted to stand firm with Kacen. I give up. Sarah does need to work on communication with Kacen, but she also needs support to take time out for herself. It's playtime. But once again, Sienna is not playing with the other children. And instead prefers to play with teacher Jules. For Laverne, this preference for adult company suggests a lack of confidence and anxiety about being separated from mum. We've had a couple of moments, haven't we, when she's struggled when mum's left. And I think she's sort of got into that pattern of thinking, well, if mummy's gone, that must mean she's forgotten about me, which often happens to children who feel slightly insecure. But I think what was so encouraging was that Danielle really understood that. You know, she was able to think about how her mum holds her in mind and thus know how it really does help Sienna to know that, you know, if mummy goes, she's still thinking about her and that she'll come back to her. Yeah, absolutely. With this in mind, Laverne's asked Jules to give Danielle some ideas to help promote Sienna's confidence in separating from her. I'd like you to tell mummy the things, when you're home in the house, that you really love doing. I like to do drawing. Drawing. So that's a lovely activity that you two can do together. So, mum, I'm going to bounce it on to you now. What have you noticed Sienna really enjoys doing? Dancing. Dancing. So if we were putting together a toolkit for dancing, am I right in thinking we might need a really funky playlist to put together? We've got that with dressing up costumes, haven't we? Brilliant. So dressing up. The idea is that by focusing on all the fun things she does with Danielle, Sienna will feel more confident about playing independently as she will know that her relationship with her mum will always be secure. She likes playing with babies as well, playing with mum. Lovely. So, dolls. I think that's making her feel that she has to be grown up, like a mum kind of thing. Yeah, the idea that she's a little mum, so she's being grown up. So a switch there is pets, because it takes that responsibility. Sorry, it's like she wants a rabbit now, but she can't be trusted with a... But a toy rabbit with a bowl, and there's one for you, mum. If you get up every morning and put food in your toy rabbit's bowl and you clean his hatch every day, perhaps we'll talk about a real rabbit. Yeah. And it's brilliant that you've picked that up, that perhaps that area of responsibility with her... It gives her a bit too much responsibility when we want her to be a child instead of being an adult. So there's three lovely ideas there for you to develop. As they approach the end of her time in the nursery, mum Danielle has some strategies for dealing with Sienna's clingy behaviour and building a stronger bond between them. A lot of things have come to light since I've been here and I've discovered a lot of things as well. And so if there was one thing you were going to take forward, what thing would that be that you might do with Sienna? Let her just take the lead instead of, no, let's do it mummy's way. Let's just do it her way and see how it works. She seems to be detaching in a little tiny bit like this, but I'm starting to understand it more as well, so when I understand it more, she will understand it more. I've got a lovely sort of memory I have of you saying, oh no, I really understand she needs to know I'm thinking about her when I'm separate from her. Yeah, but we were talking and said maybe get a little locket or something and have a picture of me and her together and then she can always look at it and think, oh, well mummy's here. That's such a lovely idea. So are you feeling a bit more settled? Yeah, I feel like I'm on top of the world now. Like I've come here and just experienced a new me. It's thanks to you as well because you've made me realise it was probably not just her, it was probably more me as well. Well done, you. Yeah, I feel much better. Thank you. Sienna! This week has been absolutely fantastic and I have got something out of it and I'm grateful for it, even if it's just little, but it's massive to me. I can't wait to get home with her and just be mum and Sienna again. See you, bye! This week, the naughty nursery has been trying to turn around the lives of three troubled toddlers and their desperate parents. Sienna, who demanded constant attention. Lottie, who had a dangerous climbing habit. And Kaysen, whose constant violence and frustration was baffling his mum Sarah. You just look at him and you think, is it something I've done wrong? During his stay at the nursery, staff have noticed that Kaysen's struggled to communicate. And Laverne thinks that's the reason he hits out at home with mum Sarah. What she needs to do is see that this is how Kaysen is expressing himself and in a way giving her the message that he needs her help so that he can understand that actually between the two of them they can find different ways to communicate. I guess what I've noticed is he needs a real kind of nurturing approach with an adult quite close with him to help him engage in play. Darry's doing it with him, isn't he? He's putting the expression on his face as the adult. It's a shared, yes, excitement. With this in mind, Laverne has asked mum Sarah to come in and learn some simple techniques aimed at improving the way she and Kaysen communicate. Sometimes it's really hard to get everything to come together. So the right words, the right body language and the right facial expressions. So sometimes in order to get those right for Kaysen we've got to really overplay it, OK? Through really overplaying it. What we call world of face. So there are games that we can play around that to get that very face-to-face engagement. For example, we do feather face painting. You will be delighted to know there is no mess involved at all but you will have to take your grown-up out, put your playful side on and just imagine. Kaysen! OK, so we're going to paint our faces today. Can you come and paint Jules's face? I would like to be a tiger. Can you put some stripes on me? So straight away he's getting the world of face because I can't help with the feather on my face. Ask mummy, mummy, what animal? Come on, mum, what animal? Cat. Can you paint mummy a cat? Give her some whiskers. Some ears. OK. I intend to give him that full face. And you've got your full gaze on him, mum. And look, can you see how he's smiling? Amazing. Fantastic. And the more of this you do, you can't help but look. And the more he's looking, the more complete the message, the more complete the message, the easier it is for him to process and you get what you want. I think Kaysen really responded to that. I really, really enjoyed looking at his mum's face. It's really encouraging, isn't it? Yeah, really encouraging. I guess what feels really important is for her to know that she is really important to Kaysen and she's important in terms of supporting his communication. Goldilocks can... Before Kaysen leaves the nursery, Laverne and Jess want to know how Sarah is feeling. Now she knows the reason behind Kaysen's bad behaviour. I thought, I'll be walking out here with a different child. When we get back, we're going to have to do some hard work on his behaviour and different techniques that we've learned. But also look after yourself as well. If we're writing a prescription pad, we're not booked in that way, but, you know, we're writing a prescription pad, it's Sarah needs to get some Sarah time. Because it is the only way, as a parent, when you have a challenging child, that you can clear your mind. To have some thoughts about you so that you can then have a bit of space to think about your son. Yeah, definitely, yeah. The one thing that I will take away from it is just to work on our relationship a bit better and just get back on track as a team. It makes me feel excited that hopefully we'll all get back on track and it's going to be a lot better than it is now. Thank you. Lottie. Since joining the nursery, Lottie has been keeping the staff on their toes by constantly climbing. Down. Lottie's at an age where she's really exploring all of her senses, but the way in which she's doing it is quite difficult to observe. I think the thing that's got quite confused for Lottie is that she gets quite a lot of attention for this. Down we come. One, two, three. Good choice. What we need to do is still give her the experience of exploration, but in a much safer way. Laverne's asked Jules to give Joanne some ideas. What's amazing about her is she'll try anything, she's inquisitive, and these are things that will carry her far in life. They're a great skill set to have. Don't give Mum a heart attack in the meantime. 100%, what you need to do is have a look at what's going on in the moment and literally do a little bit of a risk assessment and start asking yourself the question, what actually is the worst that could happen here? But whilst Jules and Joanne chat, Lottie has been using the opportunity to do some more exploring. Luckily, it's time for Jules to demonstrate one of those safe sensory activities. Lottie, come and see what Mummy and Jules have got. Look, come and look. What have we got? What is it? Wow. Here we go. Feel that. Jelly. Yeah, I'm wondering, Lottie, if you're feeling like trying it in your totos. Cos that... Strays away. Good girl. Honestly, I'm highly tempted. I really am. Cos who's not going to feel better for that? Let's have fun. It's incredible to watch both of them now. I think what I want her to remember is that the touch and feel of things for Lottie is so important. She needs to keep her learning moving through those ways of being. But that actually Joanne has to be able to feel confident to set some limits but still let her have some level of experience. At the end of Lottie's time in the nursery, Mum Joanne is full of optimism for the future. I'm looking at it in a whole different light. What's the feeling now? I've got bubbles in my belly, you know. I just can't wait to move on and move forward with her and see where we go from there. Great. Good for you, Jo. At the beginning of all this, you know, I dreaded being with her. But I'm enjoying my daughter again. I can see the more positive things in her now rather than all the negatives. We met these parents when they were at their lowest but today we're sending them away feeling much more optimistic and confident. They've finally got the knowledge and the tools to deal with their children's behaviour. They're on the right track. Let's hope they can stay there.