Child Therapists: Why Modern Parenting Is Backfiring

Parents have never had more information about how to raise emotionally healthy children.

We know more about anxiety, trauma, validation and how profoundly childhood can shape the person someone becomes.

And yet, something strange is happening at the same time.

Young people are increasingly afraid of ordinary milestones. An increasing number don't move out of their childhood home until after age 30. Therapists are seeing children describe normal conflict as “toxic,” ordinary worry as anxiety, and difficult emotions as emergencies.

And parents, terrified of getting it wrong, are stepping in earlier and more often to make sure everything turns out okay.

Sissy Goff and David Thomas have spent more than three decades counseling children, teenagers, and families. Their concern is not that parents care too much. It is that some of our best instincts may be producing an unintended consequence: children who feel deeply understood, but increasingly unsure they can handle life without us.

To understand how we got here, we follow five clues:

• Why 49% of people under 30 still live with their parents
• How parents begin managing outcomes as early as age three
• What a child who kicked a flight attendant reveals about emotional validation without boundaries
• Why one mother asked Alexa how to stop her daughter’s panic attack
• And the surprising gap between how many people experience trauma and how many develop PTSD

Together, those clues lead to a much bigger question:

How do you protect a child without protecting them from the experiences that teach them they can handle life?