Shana: Ski Retreat - SNL

Man, this is the best retreat yet. I can't believe Mr. George took us all skiing. Yeah, and to have this private party for us in the lodge? Man, he went all out. Hey, uh, Gretchen, where's that new sexy girl, Shanna? Ugh, is that all you guys ever talk about, Shanna? I saw her from behind on the bunny slope today. I tell you, that was a sight to see. I hope she's coming to this thing. Me too, if you know what I mean. I do know what you mean. I know what you mean as well. Good, she'll be here. Hey, guys, how's everybody doing? Oh, look, Mr. Jerks, I made your favorite, chocolate-covered strawberries from scratch. Oh, thanks. Where's Shanna? She's coming. Terrific, wonderful. Hey, everyone. I'm late for this little get-together. Shanna, I am so happy to see you. By the way, Mr. Jerks, that looks like a very cozy and cushy and squishy sweater. It is cozy. I mean, cushy. You know, soft, whatever. Thick, soft. You just got me flustered. That is some hot piece of fruit. She is fantastic. Downright double sexy, y'all. Is it warming here, or is it just because I'm wearing my jacket inside? It's because you're wearing your jacket inside. Oh, then I guess I'd better take it off. Hubba hubba. I want her to do that again. Yeah, I wish she had a second jacket under that jacket that she could take off for us. Me too, as well. Now, why don't one of you go fix the fire? It looks like it's about to go out. Wait, I'm jealous. I want to do it. It's so funny how you don't want fire in your house, but when it's in a fireplace, it's okay. That is true. Well, go fix it if you want to. Can I? I guess I got a little excited there. Okay, here I go. Oh, this is going to be good. That wasn't what I thought it was going to be. Nope, that was not sexy. You guys wasn't no sexist. Sit on your face and say, where's my butt? Ooh, hot chocolate. Oh, but there's too much whipped cream to take us down. Lick it off. You can lick it off. Just lick it off. I better suck a little off the top. Oh, that's it. Yes, you did. Did she now? My strawberries are being passed around if anyone wants them. Would you like a strawberry, Mr. Jerk? Yes, I do. For Shanna. Oh, I can't. And I won't tell you why. But if I did, it's a really big fun happening story. Oh, we love happening stories. Sure do. Love happening stories. Okay, well listen to this. My doctor said I can't eat strawberries because of all the little seeds. See, they get stuck in my intestinal wall because I got pockets in there. And then they fill up and form clumps like a rotten and get real hard and stinky. I think I'm going to be sick. Hey man, she's a human being. I love her open sexiness. Oh look, a place to dance in a stereo. I think I'm going to turn it on and rock my body. What a great idea. I love watching people solo dance. Now this is more like it. Oh, I wish this pole didn't have burns. I could show you what I learned in my swimming class. Let me help you with that. Was superior. Okay, I'm going to go sit outside in the snow. Yeah, I'm going to go with you. Yeah, me too as well. Thanks a lot, Gretchen. Hey, take this with you. Shanna, I think I'm going to rent a snowmobile. Would you like to travel around the lodge in circles with me? Oh, I don't know what to say. And when I do know what to say, I giggle. Excuse me, that's not my laugh. You are a polished diamond. I just realized a bunch of tiny little turds squeezed out when I did that last time. I turd it all inside my ski pants. That is a woman who could hold my interest for a long time.