Not Every Day Is an Adventure… The Reality of Solo Vanlife 🚐

Well I've made it to Fishguard in Pembrokeshire, Wales but today doesn't plan out kind of the way I'd wanted. I'm starting to feel a little bit fed up if I'm being truthful and there are a few things about full-time van life that are starting to get to me. So I think it's time for a proper little chat about what this life is feeling like for me right now. This is where I was planning on parking for the night but i'm not allowed this is happening to me a lot oh hello to what hopefully isn't another disaster i've just arrived where i wanted to be for the next two days or so so i could park here i can't which is a shame and i feel like the further south i'm getting the more that's becoming an issue i keep going places and it's like no parking no overnighting i'm gonna head down into where am i fishguard i'm gonna head down into fishguard town and see if i can just find somewhere this is becoming a little bit of a stress if i'm honest okay i was just right up there i'm down here i'm not allowed here as well but we'll uh go and read the signs yeah straight away what a shame this is a nice spot it's a free car park with a little honesty box thing but i can't stay here overnight i think that people probably do stay overnight here there's couple of vans over there that possibly have stayed overnight but i'm too much of a rule follower to uh to do that another car park free parking but i'm pretty sure it is gonna say yeah i can't sleep here i'm going to a lay-by i'm leaving fishguard unless i see somewhere along the way i'm going to lay-by i'm getting irritated could kind of go down some of these side streets and stuff and see if there's anything but like this is as good as it's getting i think this wasn't i was planning on doing a bit of like exploring or whatever today but i'm just gonna stay in this lay-by have a bit of a van clean up day work online or whatever just sitting here trying to do some work and i'm feeling really quite flat today to be honest like realistically i could have found somewhere to park like i could have parked for the day at fish garden could have had a little wander and it would have been quite nice but i'm just i don't know i'm just not feeling it today i'm just feeling flat i think that i'm going to cry i think that i am i'm really missing my son i've not seen him for weeks now and it's like the longest i haven't seen him for ever like he's a grown-up he's like almost 22 but i'm just missing him like i'm i'm not lonely i thought i did question whether i would be lonely doing this and like going off but i'm not lonely like i genuinely like and i can enjoy being on my own and enjoy my own company but that doesn't mean that i don't miss people like i miss my son desperately and if i could just have popped home today just like to see him for a few hours or something then i would i mean in theory i can't but it's a long way home it's like it's a weird thing of having like a grown-up child that he's independent he lives kind of his own life i don't see him that much anymore even you know when i'm at home to be honest but i still see him every day at some point and like now he's grown up i'm like oh i'm go in the van, I'm going to go and live my life. So yeah that's weighing on my mind a lot today. Like we've always done for people who have been, people who have been around for a long time you'll know like we went traveling full-time when he was like 11 for a year or so around Asia and we've always done like travel and exploring things together obviously like it was just me and him and if we're going somewhere we go and explore together and I don't know I'm just missing sometimes I see things and I was like oh Stephen would like that or whatever and that lay-by behind and i'm just testing another one just across the way here figuring if i've got to be in a lay-by i may as well be in as nice a one as possible oh there's somebody over here see this one's got picnic benches and i mean it's rainy all day but yeah this one's nicer oh the van's gone now i like this much better to be honest it's a lay-by is a lay-by you'd think but apparently they can be different it's still close to that road i don't know this one feels just more a bit like a van park whereas the other definitely felt more like a just like a trucker's lay-by to be fair oh on google maps there was a bin there i was able to put some rubbish in there they've moved the bin i think that i'm just gonna get some bits and pieces out for my dinner i think there's something that i'm like i've been out i don't know what three weeks now or so since i last went home and i think that something that i'm learning is that like full time in the van i want some vegetables i think i might have potatoes tofu and vegetables um yeah something that i'm figuring out is that fridge is too cold that's not the thing i'm figuring out it's the longest i've been kind of like road tripping in the van ever and it's like it becomes quite just stressful like every every day or so i'm looking at a map um you know thinking like where am i going next where am i going to park where am i sleeping tonight where can i get water where can i empty things where you know all the things you know where's the supermarket is the road suitable for the van like the last episode um just all those different things that i have to think about constantly and like they're all just tiny little decisions but it's a constant thought process and definitely like that kind of like decision fatigue is weighing on me I think like if I was just in the van and staying and moving slower and not you know doing this Welsh road trip in like the fact that remember when I thought that I was going to do like the whole of the coast in like three weeks what was I even thinking about um but yeah this whole like freedom actually comes with um a hell of a lot of decisions this i think is just weighing on me let's go with some broccoli and some beans i think i always like to make like if i'm making something like this like potatoes veg and stuff i always like to make like two days worth if i'm using the power anyway park ups are my absolute reoccurring stress on this trip that i just didn't appreciate i'm sorry i'm shaking my knife at you um it was just something that i didn't expect quite so much and it's not that there's no park ups there's a ton of park ups all over the place of course there is someone commented on one of my videos today about oh it's not about finding a park up it's about finding one that's youtube worthy like literally look like i'm in a layby i'm not not interested in it being i mean i like to have a nice view and different things but the most important thing is am i allowed to i think i said before like i'm a rule follower i'm sure people are saying some of those park ups where it says no overnight camping but i can't do that and it stresses me out and because i'm moving constantly i never i'm not i'm never comfortable enough in an area to understand or to know where particular are the car parks are the car parks and you know just like i think that what today is is just this can't be asked to think about it like i've had a stressful if you saw my last video you'll know a stressful time bit i just couldn't be bothered to make any more decisions today about things so right like i tried i really genuinely tried and every place i got to i wasn't allowed to stay overnight and so yeah that's disgusting cold um no any flavor my plan today was to drive to Fishguard find a nice little park i thought i could stay in and explore and wander around and it just didn't happen and so So, I just gave up. Well, after a little bit, like, I gave it a good effort, right? I did give it a good effort driving around to different places. I was like, do you know what? I can't, I just can't be bothered anymore. I'll go to a lay-by and just sit here all day and moan to you about everything I'm finding stressful. Why has it been noisy all day? He's been cutting his hedges, that's why. He is still out there doing a really good job of his hedges. and i think that another thing is that i am someone who is very like i love travel i've always loved travel i like exploring new places and so because i'm on this trip wherever i am i feel like i have to see everywhere and i'm learning i don't necessarily need to do that because i i like think like oh i'm in this beautiful place or i've driven all this way i need to go and even like today like Fishguard like i don't even know if there's anything decent in Fishguard to even see but i just wanted to kind of wander around and explore because i just love i just love doing that so much but i am figuring out that like i'm making i'm preparing tofu i know none of you will probably appreciate tofu but it is what it's what i eat it's nice once you season it up trust me it's nice it's fine and air fry it i don't need i don't need to see everywhere it doesn't matter like Fishguard isn't going anywhere maybe i'll come back maybe i won't but it doesn't matter if i just can't be up like today i think i can't be bothered i don't want to so i've not done it and i'm learning that it doesn't matter sometimes you can even on the drive up to Fishguard i was like seeing signs for places and i was thinking oh i want to go to that i want to go to that doesn't matter just chill out you don't need to go and see everywhere and visit everything there's there's loads of places i've missed out on this trip that is okay like you know hopefully van life kind of works out for me and i can do another Welsh road trip and visit different places and i'm never gonna see everywhere in the whole wide world am i so let's be real it's okay to not visit everywhere but it kind of stresses me out that i'm not even as i'm saying it all it's stressing me out i haven't explored Fishguard but i'm not gonna i'm gonna leave here tomorrow having not explored Fishguard so i know this very much seems like i am just moaning about van life today i'm not oh my goodness i still love it i still love it i will always love it i think it's just more kind of leaning into the everyday reality of what this actually is especially as you're trying to move around and travel and things whilst you do it the stressful sometimes and it's just a life it's just a life like one day i'm swimming in the sea in the morning and have a wonderful morning another day i'm stressed out about park ups and things and i'm missing people and just it's just an everyday life and there is stresses and drama and things that come with it but maybe i'm different than living in the house but it's still, there's still issues, there's still problems some days like when i'm, when i live in my house some days i want to go out and i want to explore want to do things and some days i just want to stay at home sit on the sofa and watch TV it's it's only the same kind of life it's just the home is on wheels now tomorrow i think i'm going to move on to um Saint David's which is a place that a few of you have recommended to me as well to be honest but it was originally um my son had recommended to me because he'd been there with some mates a few years ago the Blue Lagoon unfortunately i was just having a little look before see what i mean but you're always like looking and planning ahead and thinking about things the Blue Lagoon i think my son was like oh you've got to go to the Blue Lagoon it's um it's closed for i think um seal pups at the moment so i can't go there but i'm gonna go and go to Saint David's tomorrow well thank you for spending this rather uneventful day with me i know i've had a bit of a moan today but i honestly wouldn't change what i'm doing i'm just learning that not every day has to be an adventure thank you as always for watching and supporting me hopefully i'll be feeling a little bit more adventurous tomorrow i'll see you in the next one