36 Hours of Meditation 😱 & Update on my Gut and Carnivore lifestyle

hi guys hi everybody i am back with my vlogs i haven't done a video in so long uh to be honest i've been you know everywhere all over the place and i wanted to update you on a couple of things first thing like what's going on with my carnivore journey and what i've been doing or not doing and then i wanted to share with you what where i've been in the last week i went to a meditation retreat at Joe Dispenza and just share with you my experience and how I feel now and like what happened and I just had so many realizations and I'm just super excited to share everything with you. So we're going to start thing with the first thing with my gut bloating and carnivore diet. As you know I've been carnivore for the last six months. I'm going to be completely honest like i kind of went off the rails so i haven't really been following carnivore diet for the last couple of weeks and what how it started this was just with like one event one party where you know i've had some food and then the next day and the next day and before you know it you're like fully not doing it i was still kind of eating like a couple of meals a day which were carnivore but then i was starting to have ice cream every day and this and that and of course when i went to the event as i was staying in a hotel and it's just been so hard you know there's a whole buffet of food and all sorts of things and even if it wasn't tasty i still wanted to try everything so i have had some fruit and carbs um nothing like too crazy but i have been having ice creams and straight away i noticed inflammation of course in my body like i could feel it like in my stomach um i have inflamed all over like because you know my water is retent like water retention and stuff um so basically you can definitely see like the straight away when you're not doing it properly you can see a massive difference however i've been back on it this week and i really feel better um i'm just fully feeling like following like a strict carnivore game and i do feel like my symptoms still are much better like comparing to last year to compare like myself to how i ate and like how scared and how i used to blow up like crazy and go to hospitals like i've made a huge progress this year and like right now i am inflamed a little bit i don't know if you can tell but it's not too bad i can't show you my belly but it's like a little inflammation but nothing too crazy um and i have been taking obviously the supplements and everything so i'm carrying on with everything and lots of probiotics and my plan basically is to kind of stick to carnivore as much as i can and then do like a clean carnivore where i'm just going to experiment with just beef and salt for a month and see how that changes my gut and stuff what also has been happening is that I've been going through a lot of personal journey and experiences and I was gonna do a video about that too but time keeps running away from me but I realized like that I had a lot of anger from my past which has actually been stored in my stomach in my gut and a lot of the times we don't realize that our emotions are in our body stuck and they can be stuck for years and years and years especially you know all the negative things like anger sadness i don't know um frustration fear anxiety all of these things you know they can be stored in your body and these are in the forms of emotions and that's what i realized as well by going to a meditation retreat spending so much time with myself you know meditating um being like in your own head and kind of like understanding what and why has happened and releasing that you know releasing these emotions actually made my stomach feel better so i do think i'm not saying you know because i have been told this before that people are like oh it's just your emotions you know just maybe it's the anger or whatever the thing is it's not that easy to first of all admit that you can have like any negative stored emotions in your body and second of all you know you might not even be aware that you have that like i wasn't aware until i started doing deep counseling into my childhood into understanding why i could potentially be angry what you know what wasn't okay you know when i was little because you know your memory tends to fade out you forget things um and third thing is that if you're not aware and you don't know obviously you just live your life and you think whatever you know i'm just bloated but it has something to do with your emotions as well not everything i don't believe in that you know i still believe that i damaged my gut through all the antibiotics and everything but i'm definitely getting better and I'm feeling the best on the carnivore diet like I haven't felt this good in any any lifestyle of eating and I'm going to carry on and I do actually you know have been doing it for six months and I would never suggest or encourage anyone to do anything you know without researching but I can honestly say that for me personally especially with my pain and the gut issues and inflammation this has been the best sort of lifestyle eating for me and you know I didn't really believe in it myself and um the only thing i can say is just try it for 30 days and see how you feel um it's really hard to break our concepts in our head especially if you're used to eating vegetables and beans and all of that stuff and you're used to trying it all um it's really really hard ideally like my goal is to be able to eat um anything i want in moderation while sticking to carnivore diet because you know at the end of the day i'm still a full-time job is a chef and i still have to try and eat cakes um i love that you know i love eating out in restaurants and i wouldn't sacrifice that part of my life in the long term but i do want to heal and that's my priority now let me tell you about Joe Dispenza event um for those of you who don't know he's basically i didn't know anything about him before i went to the event and he just in summary teaches people how to basically be grateful for life and how to um enjoy life and just live in a present moment because a lot of us pretty much 95 percent of people live in the past and what happens is they live in the past and then they transfer that past right into the future because you do the same behaviors um you have the same triggers you have the same emotions and we don't change as humans unless something dramatic happens unless it's an illness disease uh trauma somebody dies right like you then start to reanalyze your life like is this what i want is this where i'm going and so a lot of them you know meditation the whole retreat it's not like a retreat that you can imagine we had to get up at 5 a.m uh we did meditations for six to eight hours a day like that's insane if you think about it i did meditations 10 minutes a day and that was like like that was my long meditation I have done the ones for like 25 minutes and it was always like so hard for me to find time but these were like hours my longest meditation was four and a half hours can you believe this like I couldn't actually believe it myself because I got lost in time and it was a lot of lectures and it was a lot of information so my brain was in overdrive and at the end of the day you know like I'm just just I just realized you know that I have been living in my old scenarios I've been living in the things that i was taught as a child right and if you think about it whatever childhood that you've had you are probably repeating everything in your adulthood now life now and so it takes really a lot of courage and a lot of um like self-awareness to admit that you have not that you have issues but you have these things and programs that run you you know your body runs you your habits and comfort runs you rather than is this actually what you want um and since i've doing meditations like after like you know seven days like i was really enjoying them like i'm i was able to go into that you know world and relax and like really not think about anything so i highly recommend of course i highly do um it has changed my view on life even more i have been evolving and changing in the last two years like so much you know i started researching and doing courses and here and there constantly investing myself and it just kind of it's so hard to live in a present moment let's be honest like how many of you are actually aware of you know not thinking what am I gonna eat what happened yesterday you know while you do something you know as we obviously develop technology we also constantly on our phone we're constantly distracted so it has been very very difficult for a lot of people to just stop and be like present you know present with someone else present with whatever you do present just with one thing and i think that is the key like that i learned from this it's like we were learning how to sit with your body in silence for hours right because if you can do that you can be present with everybody and this is where we lack that connection now with people because nobody's present anymore you know you go to restaurants you go meet with friends i mean hopefully you do have friends that you can be present with and connect and not sit there on your phone but i see it all over like you know if you just walk around if you just go to any places it's it's actually it's it makes me sad and i just hope that more people will wake up and be more aware of how we are missing life you know by focusing on the past by being angry at things that happened years ago like we just have to let go and it's really hard and you can't just you know switch something and just let go and that's why you know I suggest everybody does personal development everybody goes into counseling or finds a coach or whatever is that you need to try and explore yourself try and become a better version of yourself and I think that's what it overall has given me and it made me realize how much you know how much I have been living in my old programs you know with all the pain and suffering and everything that I've been through it's almost like so comfortable being in that pain it's just made me realize something clicked to me it's like i don't want that life anymore like i don't want to be associated with that person that character that has been through so much like i appreciate myself i am strong i understand how much i have gone through and it's really sad and horrible but then is this what i want my future to be like and i don't and so for me not to attract that anymore i need to start thinking about the future that i want and by thinking about the future that you want and acting accordingly, you know, making changes in your life. For example, you know, I'm dedicating now one hour a day to meditation because that is my health and it's my priority. Everything else can wait because in that hour, you know, I am thinking about the good things, about how I want my future to be. And by focusing my energy on anything, that's like, sorry, like by focusing your thoughts on anything, that's where your energy goes and I think eventually that's what he was teaching us you know your energy is your biggest resource and whatever you're thinking about you know whether that's stressing out about something that happened whether that's being angry at someone or having a fight or remembering some old argument with some friends or family you know like you're wasting that energy every single day you might not even realize but the energy is getting sucked out of you every single day and then no wonder why everyone's tired no motivation lack of energy you don't want to do anything people feeling depressed and anxious because we're giving our energy away to everything and everyone apart from us and once you realize that once it clicks in your head you're like hang on a second why am I doing that and so for me it was a huge realization and made me realize you know I try and catch myself because it's really hard like if you think about this I've been in this body for 34 years it's really hard for me to now start adopting new beliefs new thoughts be aware but I'm doing my best and like every time I'm sitting here and I'm thinking about something sad or I'm thinking about something that made me angry or upset I kind of catch myself I'm like whoa switch off you know let's think about something that is actually going to bring you closer to the future that you want and if you want something good in the future then you need to focus your energy on that and kind of that's more than the simple terms these are kind of my biggest takeaways and I just don't want to spend my energy anymore on negative people and people in my life that make me sad or I don't feel good around them because at the end of the day you only have one life and we are meant to be here you know to have fun like the whole purpose of life is to have fun to enjoy our experiences we've been given you know so many things like our bodies you know our eyes like the whole like the whole this right to experience all sorts of things to have fun to enjoy to travel to places to see things not to just become zombies and work and sit on TikTok all day right um just kind of enjoy this beautiful planet this world enjoy everything that we have to offer whatever hobbies you have and everything and just kind of live in the present moment and i think it's so easy to just go back to your old patterns and he was also kind of repeating it over and over again in every lecture he said it will be so easy to go back into the real world and just go back into reaction mode and emotional mode think of people that can trigger you and you snap out of that nice state so basically my goal now is to kind of try my hardest i know i'm not going to succeed all the time but i'm going to do my best not to react um cut out everything and everyone who isn't on my frequency you know at the end of day you want to be surrounded with people that are lifting you up making you feel better giving you energy not the other way around okay so that's kind of what happened at the retreat I have been analyzing a lot and I I just you know I just feel like more love towards myself and I feel that I'm getting to know me by doing meditations you sit with yourself and you sit with you and you get to know you the real you your feelings how you actually are who you are and you know reconfirming how much you love yourself because i don't know about you but i never really told myself that i love me and in these meditations there were a couple of times when i did and it made me cry like all these emotions like a lot of people feel like they're not worthy um they they're not loved they're not worthy and that's because we are not giving that to ourselves we're not um we're not loving ourselves fully right and even though it's said everywhere you know it's a conscious love yourself it's not that easy right but through these meditations when you sit with yourself and you really hear yourself that's when i feel it opens up that new level of connection to yourself and for me that was like really huge and now i can hear myself and every time i'm distracted by social media by this problems end of the world they're constantly try trying to put us in fear and another big point I'm gonna finish soon because this was a huge point for me that I realized is that again 90% of people live in a survival mode survival mode means stressful mode if you think about this we are constantly running we're constantly stressed we're constantly thinking about this that and that we're never ever in the present moment which means we're in a stressful mode and what happens when you're in a stressful mode you think negatively your negative thought then becomes a belief your belief then becomes your you know everyday thing and that turns into disease that's why so many people are sick and that's why I do think that a lot of the things that I had with my stomach have been related to you know all that negativity and thinking and that's you know if you think about it so many people are getting like really serious illnesses like cancer that's because there's so much anger and sadness and the negative mind that's in there you know there's Louise Hay who writes a book about what your symptoms mean in your body it's all related because our thoughts basically can either kill us or heal us and that's it so whatever you think that happens right you might not even realize that you're thinking this over and over again and the point is being that when we live in a stress mode we don't have space or capacity to be in our creative mind and our creative mind is the love it's like the creativity it's that joy it's that you know it's like hearing yourself being with yourself and enjoying life and that's why majority of people are constantly in the stress mode and stress obviously is the worst thing for you stress causes all sorts of illnesses problems insomnia anxiety depression and you just list them all you know and these are not normal emotions these are altered states of how you're supposed to be so again that was a huge realization for me and I realized you know like if I look back at my life like what have I done I've been always stressed and especially in the last few years you know I've been so stressed and like I completely didn't love myself you know I was working 16 hour days I didn't eat properly I didn't sleep my anxiety was up I wasn't I wasn't happy and the more i did that the more unhappy i would get and the worse i would get and only by you know moving here to mexico right when i took that chance i was like you know what i had enough i need to get out or i'm gonna lose my ---- you know i'm gonna lose my mind and i did come here and my life started to change because i started to enjoy i started to go for walks and i was like hang on like i'm starting to become better and so if this is relatable to anyone if you're hearing yourself that you're feeling like oh my god this is me i'm stressed out i don't like my life right now i'm not enjoying it i highly highly encourage you to start looking into meditation start looking into yourself start being with yourself start understanding what is it that you actually want are you actually enjoying the job you're in are you actually enjoying what you do are you actually enjoying people you're with do you enjoy your friends are you happy with your partner you know like all of these questions that we don't like to ask because they're hard questions to ask because maybe you don't want to know the real answer but the real answer is always inside of you and because of all the stress you can't hear you so you keep staying in these places relationships jobs and keep going worse and worse and worse and eventually that's how people develop all these illnesses and then they don't get on medication and what does that do just makes it worse so if it's any relatable like if you can see yourself um or hear yourself then hopefully i can be your messenger you know to give you that small motivation inspiration to kind of just not giving up on you and maybe thinking what is it that you want and trying to connect with yourself because we're losing touch we're losing touch with ourselves we're losing touch with our bodies we're losing touch with everything what we actually want and start start just start a little bit start anywhere and i can guarantee you in six three six months time in a year you can be a completely new person um anyway this was all what's coming to me it's a long video so if you stayed this long uh i hope you enjoyed it otherwise i will do an update very very soon uh just to let you know i am off to Latvia for the summer to see my grandparents um in a couple of days and yeah i'll be spending some there and then you know what i have no plan no plan whatsoever where i'm gonna go where i'm gonna live but you know what i'm completely fine with it because i'm open to life i'm open to experiences adventures whatever happens and now that i'm switching my mindset and focusing only on positive things i know only good things will come so guys thank you so much for watching and i'll see you very soon bye