MODERN PARENTING 101 - Cele's Reflection

Minkofiti! Welcome to Celeste's Reflection. It's yet another Wednesday. Sangapi? Fatano. Watu wa Premier Gum. Yay! Thank you so much, everyone, for watching my episodes. Thank you very much. Thank you so much. Those who are sending me emails via my email address, [email protected] Thank you so much. Those who are commenting, sharing. Thank you very much So today I have a guest with me She's going to say her name. But before that, this episode of today It's for, it has a special part in me I think because I am going to learn I am so ready to learn This one, it's the guest versus liking me. I really appreciate your kindness. Of course, with other parents out there Not necessarily parents, but uncles, aunts You there Maybe. You know, it'll help you one way or another. So, to our guest, welcome very much. Thank you. Welcome so much. Feel at home. We are poor, we want to be helped. So, just introduce yourself, Alafu. We can start. Wow. Thank you for having me. I am delighted. My name is Rose Mbae. I'm a counseling psychologist, and I absolutely love parenting. I am the founder of an organization called Farm Nest Hub. Because I believe we all need a nest that is solid. To be able to raise a child A child needs that environment. For her or him to thrive So thank you for having me. Looking forward to this conversation I love that name. Farm nest Because most of the nests I'm sorry, but I can't assist with that request. Your structure, but not mine Niti can't hold anything. Ukipata a farm one Yeah, so I'll tell you a short backstory. The reason why I thought of bringing a... We talk about modern parenting. This year, I have two boys. One is six, the other is one. So early this year, minikotu kwa nyumba. Nicotine, before our nannies come back, you know, before the holiday. So you met them in December. The new year begins in December. One of these fine evenings, I don't want to go out; I want to stay at home. Buy the things that need to be bought. You know Then Tugi, my elderly boy, ananiambia, Mamu, are you shouting? Imagine you didn't have to shout. Wow. Hey, I've been waiting for you all this time. It's obvious from his appearance, he has no scars, so what's the big deal? Hame, you don't need to shout. Why are you shouting? Innocently. I have finished. This question has no answer. Jusiju, why am I shouting? I don't know. But have we not already explained that? Why is it neither a corpse nor a living person? Why are you asking, then? That's what I'm thinking inside. What is this baby trying to tell me? Is he trying to correct me? So we arrived at the place for those on Wednesday. I was there with my sister. Haka nemewe, ujasikyo membuwa? Why are you shouting? In haka, you don't need to shout. So Asha asks a question. Before you answer, I'm telling you, you don't need to. If I had known, I would have come. Things are changing. because in my time that's why my mom used to say that I think everything that my Mom was right back then, oh yeah, you're right. You are not questioning, you are not commenting on it. Whatever she does, whatever she chooses to do, is okay. then fast forward to early term one a few weeks ago to a kind of school meeting, parent meeting Then we are being taught modern parenting. And I'm like, okay, so there's this thing—what is the modern parenting message? So what is this thing? That's why I thought of having you here I asked one of my followers That's a really cool number I reached out Thank you for agreeing to come. So I want us to talk about modern parenting. What is modern parenting Thank you I can only imagine how you must have felt. When your own child As if he's advising you on how to communicate. Because, like, he was trying to express himself. You don't have to shout. Now, modern parenting, before we go To modern parenting, what is parenting? When you look at parenting, It's basically how you raise your children. And we raise our children the way we saw our parents do. And so, when you are, perhaps just to affirm what you are doing, You were just doing what you saw happening You knew shouting makes things Done very fast, the kids rush and do it very fast, oh, very quick. Oh, so that's how it is. Therefore, the outcry to do so. Therefore, the outcry to do so. Therefore, the outcry to do so. Therefore, She kept doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing. So now we have a whole generation that no one has any idea of who they are. They are so well-informed. The world is teaching them, right, left, center, their colleagues. We have internet, there are fast learners. So they're wondering how you're so slow in your parenting skills. Yet we have A script for how parenting should be—exactly. So we are left in between and This is for those of us who are parented by our parents. Those the the the the the our days some days those parents who are because I said so they think you unee They people of the mountains walking T They think you need to be disciplined, and you you need to be Just to be beaten, without explanation, You just, the belts are all over, you know, Those of us who used to be beaten, muikos, you know, shouting. And then, within two minutes, There's a lot happening in the house, and then they leave. So as we parent, this kind of parenting, Modern parents are very rigid. Between traditional parenting and so-called modern parenting. Now, what is modern? Because we don't have a script for raising children in this generation We say parents raise their children based on their gut instinct—my style, you know. My dress, my choice. It's my parenting style, my choice. You do what you feel like. but then there's always what we call the right to do it. Yes, I do. kn To us. To us. To us. Keep going, keep going, keep going. When the pot begins to boil, to collapse, to collapse, to collapse. For what reason, Now we are dead Kids are very bright. They have a dictionary. A few days ago, my son came up with a question. and then asks them why why is that coming from me I checked in my dictionary, and I realize we bought a dictionary. annuities in January so you know before you lie Again, they have already referred. They are just Ask you to see how these lies make the child happy. and Y You know, how far have you come in your lives? So yeah, I must agree with you that modern parenting is where we don't have a script. And my heart goes out to the parents raising These kids in this generation. Because we don't have a script. Because our traditional parenting no longer works. But now the question is, so Mimi, am I that parent? I'm raising this kid who is very informative, Who is very outspoken, Haugopi? I used my mother's Kenyan one. Just write it, no need to explain. On the way, we are walking. So, there's this, tumuafunza kuji-express. That was a very good question. But if the child does not have money, he will not arrive. I'm listening. Hey, like, I don't know, you're the one who's scared of getting caught. When each one is equal, they are all united. That was indeed helpful. Right, but in a way. There are five things we do, what, what. That's why I was the one to do it. Because I was the one who did it. Because I was the one who did it. Because I was the one who did it. That's why I was the one to do it. Because I was the one who did it. Because I was the one who did it. Because I was the one who did it. Because I was the one who did it. That's why I was the one to do it. Because I was the one who did it. That's exactly how it is; if you're going to do it, do it boldly. Let me explain about parenting styles. so that we can see, because a lot of us parents think The way we were parented is the best way. Oh yes. Let's admit, it was lacking in a way. We have four parenting styles. And perhaps through this, we will be able to see what will work for us. Okay. The first one we call permissive. Permissive parenting is where there There is no relationship between a parent and a child. They do what they want, when they want, how they want. By the way, the parents are not even aware of their own needs. They hustle their way, they're working. Those are parents who, at times, are able to travel. They don't care what is happening around them. They are not involved in their children's lives. The children aren't interested in their parents' lives either. Freestyle They are surviving. They are surviving, thank you. When you raise a child in survival mode, They learn through their peers and through the internet. There is a disconnect. As a parent, you have no control over the child or their preferences. As a parent, you would expect... That is why Teachers ask us to provide a list of items. You are not even aware that there are items they were asked about So you just let them be. Of course, this child grows up with very low self-esteem. because every other child has the items you don't have Those are the kind of kids. You see them in school. They are tattered. with their tattered clothes It's not that parents cannot afford it. They are not even aware. that you need a new pair of uniform Why So those kids grow up harboring a lot of bitterness, disconnected, and the like. There is what you call neglected. Neglected is where a parent may provide everything you need. Yes. But they don't want to go swimming. Where? House help, person, your son. Just take them. You want pizza? Yes. How much?xfd it's about how much I'm willing to give. But I am not available. So we say children need Your presence more than your presence. Wow, the end is the end. Huko, mwisho. I'm here, last one. Therefore, that is the end, as the end. Therefore, therefore, therefore. Therefore, therefore. Therefore, therefore. Therefore, therefore. Therefore, therefore. Therefore. Therefore. Therefore. To Indeed, with However, with However, with Yes. Everything is provided for, but I have no relationship with you. So they grow emotionally because that's what your parents talk about. Whatever they say means a lot to you. Since you have no connection either, You never come to know, you never assert them. So they grow up with very low self-esteem, low assertiveness; they don't know when to say what They're confused, you know, and they have an emotional gap. So as they grow, you'll have little things you can say about them. You cannot guide them from a place where you are not connected. You have no idea about their life. Also, you are provided with Wi-Fi, everything else, Phones, they have all the gadgets. So if they want an answer to a question, And thus, Mr. Google is very present. Always. Always. YouTubes, they are waiting. Remember, this information is not always the best. So they will learn. That's what you'd call authoritarian. That is how most of us were raised. We say in quotes, "It's because I said so." You don't question. The parent is there. By then, the parents take you, separating you from yourself. Separates you from your emotions. The parents are in control. Raisupuza. In this particular parenting style, You realize you didn't have a say. That is what matters. That is what your parents feel. You know, some of these are very practical. Working in my mother's bedroom, sitting room, And I think, I think we can have a different setup. The Kuchange 2VT2 was something that brought about a lot of issues. Oh, yes. Because my mother wanted to sit in this seat. And I remember that time, we were like, mutapanga kwenu. Mom, how about it, and my mom's answer was, no, why? Because this is my house. This is our home. Oh yes. Hey man, seriously. Like you wonder, like kititu ni kitu ya kuleta ya makasiriko as we say. But because my mother says so, for no reason. So we were robbed of creativity. We were robbed of our self-esteem. Because it's my mother and my father who say so, Whatever they say, they make the decisions for us. Some people today are having difficulty making decisions. Don't wonder when you see someone you're like Now from the hour also from the brightness of the one who is mighty the one that is for the sake of the master's sake at the end, Now from the last hour to the first hour, It's not right for a person to do that. The end comes at the end. At the very end, it appears at the end, many are called, but few are chosen, the one who is being blamed Some of them had to approve, seek approval, and we think we are so disciplined, some of us tuli to be beaten We just followed in a certain order, because if we hadn't have consequences so severe that we had to comply but today you always feel I wish I was allowed to I wish that and remember as children grow, we call it child development stages as a child grows up There's that space where you allow them to expand. you their cognitive thinking ability If you take a glass and something and make something, your child, Your parents should be proud of you, you know, congratulate you for this. That is how So, you may go now. child, your esteem. But because I said so We could only live and stay in a certain corner. So proud as we are, Most people in our generation have a lot of issues. s Self-esteem. That's why when I say I want it now, and now they become parents, now they do. are the parents that we have today so they want to remind their kids I'm Also a parent, oh yes, and as we were discussing and saying Imagine you are a parent; you don't need to prove it. To your child, you are a parent—they know you are. Their mother and your father, relax. Don't project. We call it projecting. In counseling, do not project. Whatever your parents gave you, don't project it. To your children, they are innocent. Our parents didn't have access to the same amount of information that we have today. So let's appreciate. So the fourth, which is the best parenting style, we call it ta authoritarian an authoritative. Sorry, the former was authoritative. ri dancer. Now we have authority Authoritative parenting. Okay Therefore. In this, you sit down. Now, this is where today's modern parents here, sitting down, you wonder, What about the child? What? Who? To whom, to me. Imagine, it's yours. Now, this is something we all need to agree on. We didn't have much information growing up. So, sisituligro too. Like, we made it. You are in the middle. We just survived. But then, these kids have a lot of information. And remember, we don't want to have children with low assertiveness A child who can't, like, speak in front of people, those who cannot express themselves. But then, parents who are raising this generation, They have a lot of, what we call, unresolved issues. A lot. A lot. So we have bitterness, so you want to get rid of your bitterness with your kids by parenting the way you are. We always say there comes a time when you need to make a change. and be the best parent you can be. I did it from the end of doing. Therefore, therefore, It's impossible for a person. Therefore, for example when coming from a person, when it comes from a person. Therefore, from one man. So, in that case, They will always remember That loop takes them back to that conversation. So as they grow, learn to converse with them. Make rules yourself; don't make rules on behalf of your children. Make them part of this. In this house we have values. One is respect. You know, one of the respects, honesty. We love each other. We say In the MO rn if the trees in Have the Many mtau hapa I need it. those kinds of values I in your family. So what are the consequences if you don't do this? Do we do so So now we are seated, we are discussing we You're talking about me with this boy, yes, yes, you are discussing me. Yeah, what, what do they discuss? I Imagine they are the ones you know right now, thank God. For CBC, you know, right now, ask them what Are the values they will tell them they will tell you so they know what they are supposed to be doing and by there they say So, suppose one of us is not able to follow the rules, what do we do? Achapwe, mungina tasema, no what we can do, we can withdraw privilege Even if we end up eating pizza together, they'll think it's fun. That moment is a fun one, but now as a parent, remember, this kind of parenting is where you as a parent, You have what you want; you communicate with the consequences. but you also allow your children to speak, so that they feel part however you are doing it, so it is a family way of doing it. Therefore, thus is the way from God. Therefore, from God. For example, we say, if you don't do your homework today, Then we're going to, you won't watch cartoons. Something like that. Let me give a practical example. I've had problems with my children doing their homework. Showering on time, going to bed on time. You know, those two things that make them delay and stay up late, Then wake up late, they are tired, they are sleepy. And I realized that we now needed to come up with something. She made me come here because she did. Wafikua, these things will not remain. What exactly are you doing. Therefore, now, from the depths, those who are destined will be revealed. To be honest, doing it now is just making excuses. Hawa hujawaki wakini kutoka wataka. We are here today. Because of your absence, the task remains undone. To make these things happen. Because over time, they are like beating against it. Remember even in high school There are those people who are like Whose tattoos are those in my high school? The thief had already been caught. Whose tattoos are those? That one is broken So once a child gets there You can no longer reach them. You need to reach them with love But since you want to raise a disciplined child Have a way of We say there is a difference between punishment and discipline. The sun is shining brightly everywhere. Plus owe came up with wit Hawaii of The Ma war dingt he m s Here it is, e Here it is, l Here it is, v Here it is, e Here it is, s Here it is, You know, like Monday, Why If you finish on time, it's plus one, plus one, plus one. So we have three points per day. If you don't, it's zero then. If you are becoming disciplined like you, you answer someone, Indeed. If you do something but don't do your homework, it's negative. So you'll have either negative or positive. So we say, by Friday, if you have X number, it is equal to K-ni. The demo are increasing, many of them What if it can happen? Maybe you can make a mistake, one or two. Then you're not badly off, but you don't have a privilege. about having something that we do over the weekend. A pizza, an ice cream, or something. But then if you surpass, You know, you exceed expectations by doing something even better. then when others are doing something, you'll have an advantage, And you identify what they love most, then withdraw that privilege, I tell you, they will feel so pained, And they will take care of themselves. They take it upon themselves. Why are we saying this? Because one day your son will be someone's husband. Yes, the only parenting style that is sustainable is talking. And I'm not saying we don't win. Remember, boys, you ought to step in when there's no chapo. But this can only last up to a certain age, You can't kill someone who is a teenager. or quite tall these days, even taller than us What are we talking about? We have to learn a script. It hurts because we feel as though we've been robbed. We knew parenting is hard. People are sleeping on the bed, Yes, you get the point. Therefore, parenting. Let us say parents becoming parents, is like having a tattoo on your forehead You cannot ignore it. So sometimes modern parenting is not, It has an authoritative tone. Its own ups and downs, It has its advantages. You grow with a child. You model them. Now the problem is modeling. Because most of us want to be parents and also want to be absent parents. Also, most of us are quite busy, yes. They are not intentional about this matter. Yes, you know you feel like this baby is here, as you They were saying I'm providing, me, mini mzazi, I'm busy, I'm looking for Like I'm watching out for you guys, Niko, you're right there with the hustle, juyenu, So if you're not intentional, maybe that's when you find yourself. Nabukia holiday, waende holiday, but niko job. Oh, I remember that time is passing, yes, This man is going to become someone's husband. then now all these problems that were down here What's happening up there? Yeah, now what calls? for this kind of parenting, let's all agree on it is not for the faint-hearted, oh, it is not It is not oh parenting, is it? It is not you will have. to balance, you know, that's why Wemba, we have not been rewarded for the one who has suffered Nouamane is singing a song about love. Maja, Artuni,պ քուինազ, The ship was laden with people, each person packed tightly together near the stern. incomprehensible So that's why I was there. For the reason of interzawa, Drowning in water, things. Hello, friend. The people who are here are the ones who have come. Lakini kama hapa wake cha zmani wakubwa kwa m gramsu thousanda, nja I am a servant of God. I need to have them by the weekend. Spare one or two hours just to be there, and please don't take your phone. because another challenge with this modern parenting is why you walk In the house, you keep your nini there, and then you take your phone. When using it, it's not a watch, it's not a wristwatch. You know, you're trying to distract yourself from your relationship with your kids. Give them your phone. And now, this phone, because they are also digital, How do they find out your password? God knows. They go straight to your gallery. And I ask parents, challenge: what is in your gallery? Because one day your kids will know—I'm a counselor, by the way. I talk a lot to kids. They tell me a lot of things. We know Daddy has another woman. Therefore. Therefore from from. I want you to be disciplined, they're wondering. Mzae, do you know your plans? Oh. Yes. This one is laughing. Yes. There's someone who told me, I know Daddy has another woman. We go when he takes us; he speaks so kindly to them. You know, and that's not how they speak to my mom. He shouts, talks to Mami, shouts again, and is very angry. But now this woman. And I'm always like, how are you? How was your night? Parents, can you be the right role model? Because I'm wondering. Remember, you're the one, you're the one. Kids don't need to. Children have very small ears. But big eyes. That's what they see. They are able to watch more than they hear. So it calls on you to be intentional in your parenting. Oh, it's a task. But I tell you, you just need about 13 years. Because of what we have learned after those years Now, people talk about teenagers. Teenagers essentially express their dissatisfaction, whatever they've been seeing growing up. Their disappointments. They have known your ways. I've known a teenager Who bought a phone to harass the father's mistress? Because she was secretly fighting for the mother's space. So before you go out, you're busy, Sometimes you need to set aside time for your children. And I'm absolutely certain now, those people who are calling themselves busy because I'm one of them, You have time for chamas, you have time for workplace ceremonies and parties, You have time for what you call team building. When the young people want to make a living, they make a living from the riverbank. On the day of the feast, the wind will cease when he comes from his boat. Where is the nearest exit from the corridor where they are gathering? For what reason to a person a person's limit, as doing It comes from a person's heart. because of coming from the place where they are gathering. Plan yourself for a week but never But never allow a child to come alone, Why did you come, my dear, why did you come? I mean, even if you're busy, make time in the morning, because they are going to school, make time in the morning, Have breakfast with them, then leave. Because for a child, it's not like it is for an adult. Perhaps today, we will find someone who will be abused. So they are emotionally down. They need someone to come and ask you, "How was your day?" That's the time they'll tell you, so and so abused me. How did you feel? So if someone says you are a fool, remind them that you are not a fool. You are my wise son, my wise daughter, you are a bright one. Whatever you say, you will override what your colleague said. But now, if you don't do that, over time it accumulates. Below, here in the valley comes from once upon a time. Therefore, for months, regarding the ability of ability. Don't go to sleep, or you'll miss the train. Therefore, the other midday hours are hot and at times unbearable. On the beach, the waves crash for a long time, If the harvest is abundant, then the village will be prosperous for days. For the sake of the mother, What is this about? You cannot be lazy when it comes to machinery. But over the weekend, don't be lazy; it's good to go to church. but don't go to church early in the morning, and all the meetings at church, then fail to find time. The first responsibility that God has given you As a parent, your children are yours. That's why he trusted you as a parent, those kids. Imagine it's acceptable to send an apology to that fellowship and tell them, I haven't been around. If you travel a lot. When you have no travel, be with them. Remove them, don't pay holiday pay for them. So for the time being. I'll be there tomorrow, but I'll come late. You would rather sit with them in the house in the evening. Go cook with them. Just create something they love together. Take a walk. Don't tell me I don't have the money to create. By the way, who said spending time with kids is expensive? You can take a walk. I have the tradition of taking walks with my children. on, so on that pop pop pop, that's the thing, and so on, and so on That walk, the talk, things that come out of those walks. They ask you a question, you're like, I have been speaking for five years. And, like, yeah, tell me more about it. Why are they relaxed? So, I will not talk about specific times, because there are people, Honestly, they go to school and they're busy. But for seven days, you can't be without some time. And that time you create, sit down with them, keep your phone away. You can put your phone on mute and place it somewhere. But don't tell your kids to keep the phone off while you're there, because kwa mkono, threw out. They learn a lot from what they see, not from what they hear from you. hiyo hiyo hiyo hiyo How it's supposed to be done If you Because what I'm doing is unlearning I'm trying to remove What I saw my mom do Which is not easy How many? When I learn something, I understand it completely. The thief broke into the house. How many times have you been late? First time So this one for where you have Like a sitting We agree on this. If you don't do this There is no input text to translate. Level also features a man named Kakuwa If I do my homework, I get a reward. So for me to do something, I need to know what's going on. So my only concern is what's the reward. Because you know there is your entitlement that comes with I did it, and I was given Nikiosha vyombo, napewa Tell them you're giving them something How far should I go with this reward thing? Because you know how these little ones can be If I do this, I get So I'll do the juya reward Because I'm assuming that kitu kaa homework is your duty, or your responsibility, or your task There's no option. Do your homework But you know very well that I won't let it go this far The child was mine, entitled only Wash a viombo What will you give me? Wipe the table So what will you give me? So how do we border? How do we measure these things? Thank you for that question. Thank you for that question. By rewarding, I don't mean that we become equals. I still hold my position as a parent. And by the way, you communicate. There's what you call household chores. You don't wash dishes, I pay you. It is. Because remember, in this kind of parenting, As a parent, I express my expectations. These are guidelines on how things should be done. Therefore, from now on. They are not going to school. Instead, they request to watch a cartoon. By the cartoon, you determine when it is to be watched. It is not their right. I communicate it very well. If that's the case, then something is wrong. God is the one who teaches. The TV was on. The TV was on. Path, path, the way of man To make a person's heart ache with sorrow. That's news to me. In my house, it's mine now, that's why you choose ownership. But then I am teaching you. responsibility spread your bed because you need to be responsible I'm not rewarding you because you don't That is a requirement. but then They'll have a request. Would you mind if we watch TV? Yes, but let's agree What will you be watching? What time? We had a schedule over December, you know, you had two whole months. And so we agreed. In the morning you wake up, first of all, Freshen up, have your breakfast. Do your homework first because it's a priority. As a parent, you are able to guide on how things should be done. You need to do your homework first for about two hours. Then go out and play. Therefore, we conclude the meeting. You have reached the end of the journey. He was killed by gunshot and stabbing. Yeah, yeah. We still agreed. Yes. Trust me now. When the brother wanted to put them on, the sister took them, Mom. Okay. I understand, I will follow your instructions. Of course not, because I don't want Do it for your own sake. Indeed, we conclude in the middle of Swahili. Therefore, we proceed to cut. into finding myself Three days, because they all agreed. Yes, by the At the time of the harvest, the workers are needed. We are not Therefore, the first half of the journey. Therefore, as large as possible, \` going to watch The truth of the truth. At high speed, Tundi, which was at 1, 2, 3. Therefore, if it is the case that I am not aware of any official policy regarding the extension of academic leave. as far as the boundary extended, It's possible, Wataji. During work hours, I can't go to the country. because of 1, 2, 3. Therefore, from now on. Therefore. Therefore, from now on. Therefore, from now on. Therefore, from now on. Therefore, from now on. Therefore, from now on. Therefore, from now on. Therefore, from now on. Therefore, from now on. Therefore, from now on. Therefore, from now on. Therefore, from going from. Therefore, from going from. Therefore, from going from. Don't finish your food. There are no snacks for the night. Snacks for the next week So they love snacks. You can imagine how they felt. But yes, tomorrow you have to finish. Due to reward and withdrawal privileges Goes hand in hand But please don't play a role of Please So from the beginning. So from the beginning. So from the beginning. So from the beginning. So from the beginning. So from the beginning. So from the beginning. So from the beginning. So from the beginning. So from the beginning. So from the beginning. So from the beginning. So from the beginning. So from the beginning. So from the beginning. So, so, so. So, so. So, so. Wanarao, you are the one who is being blamed, just as you are the one who is being accused. My friend, tomorrow I'll fix it for you. Please be good to them from time to time. Go to the supermarket and tell them that today we came to buy unga. You know the mother in you comes through. There was a time when mother used to tell us, "Why are we suffering?" He said yesterday that he would go to buy cattle for shopping. I will never forget. In the evening she came in her robes. Cattle are salt. I tell you, if we had not been warned, we would have been caught off guard. Like, hey, okay, is my mom serious? Sometimes later, I know, it will be unpredictable. As a parent, please don't get if you realize your children are taking ownership, Please express yourself without speaking. I don't know what happened today, there's no reason Because hijanunuwa, it is not mandatory. I don't understand. I've told my kids, have you prayed about it? Sometimes I don't, I truly don't, sometimes I do Hiisha, haya, mama tunasi, haya, hakuna Have you prayed about it? I gave them a prayer box. Mukitaka If your child were to become just like you, Just like you, how would it be? I have a lot of work to do. Thank you. What do you do for work? Thank you. Yeah. Because, hey, no. I think he arrived there. Because if I'm shouting, The rate of my brother's shenga tax is fixed at the level of his ward. doesn't even look good on a man shouting, Shouting inside the house. Thank you. Yeah. So, I love that you've, You've met the firm that is Umetilia Mkazo. Yes. You are irresponsible for writing such nonsense. No. It was written by Kitanda. It's your responsibility to be in it. There is no reward for that. No. Exactly. I think he didn't care. Because these are still what we were taught by our parents. It has changed so much. It's not as if our parents failed. No. They didn't fail 100%. Because I was wondering, It was as if the bottom of the sky had cracked. That's sweet of you. When the vessels are broken, they are broken. The only part that's hard is because we have to unlearn what's there. So if at this time you watch TV, if you don't do this. I feel like the struggle is real for you there. Niko down to the wire. Nojo has been here for ten years. So, I have four years to fix anything I did wrong. So, I feel the hardest part is unlearning. And to start trying out these new things. And to be very intentional. Very. Because you can imagine, after this shoot, the whole day, I'm exhausted. I want to go home and remove my makeup. And... Rest. Lying in bed. The teacher's homework for CBC is something that teachers know well and will provide the diary afterward. Above us, our heavens are high, even the heavens above. Yes. Above. So because of that diary, you need to do that homework with him. He arrived late. Oh, how wonderful it is that the teacher is going to check the diaries. So it will be easier for Nifiki at home, just chill, just rest. I mean, look. Why Indeed, with Indeed, with However, with Indeed. No, you need to affirm the child. No, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Hana kwambia adze, atunaka nani? No, no, no, no, no. He doesn't know about my son. You're such a handsome young man. That's all they want to hear. Imagine, two, three minutes done. In the morning, remind them as they are leaving. Because the world is waiting for our children. The internet, The world is waiting for us to fail so that they can take over. Therefore, therefore, therefore, therefore, Therefore. Therefore. You need to take care of these petals to appreciate their beauty. If you force it, you destroy the flower. But if you nurture it with time, it will flourish. And you have a child who has everything they need. For parents, I like what you said. You grew up this way, so you have to become a parent. Our parents never failed. God. But we say mental health. Our mothers and our fathers' mental health. The days below are days when others have been with God. Therefore, and having made it from a person of something and an answer, You can come from a lowly person and still be honorable. Here you will buy for a price and for a person yet to come. here they have done it from a stranger, and therefore, This is from a person's point of view. This is what happened when parents argued with their children. And they were greatly affected. Some parents overcompensate in the name of I don't want to be brought up. So you overcompensate, and you destroy the child. So, therefore, do not project onto me. Therefore, if the rain comes. Why did I arrive late? I know what it means to arrive. I know what you need to be admitted. Therefore, as the project is not yet completed. Therefore, if the project does not proceed. Mchapa with mchapa, mchapa with mchapa But then, you'll see how it turns out. You know, you need to find a balance and talk. Even as you can. Can you remember what you said? So what did you do this? On the other hand. So ni ngapi unachapwa leo is equal to tu. Bill Sawa, I need your hand. Behind the mother, the child is behind. Just a little bit in the hand. But when you try, it happens. We were being given an example by a very kind counselor. Tell me. Kitambo, I hear your voice calling from the depths of the cave, echoing through the hollows of the mountain. glass, kashika, Ikan, Ikanvunjika. What will be the first thing to do as a mom? Akatambia most of us, tungezama, vunja yote. Akatambia most of us, tungezama, vunja yote. All right, go ahead and open it. Mariza, it's not work. All right. So, that's what most of us will do. Since we are all born equal, take them all, break them open. But now this parent is telling us, now this counselor is telling us, First things first, uliza umekatwa. This is glass. Hi, I'm Kukata. Are you okay? First, let them feel safe. I am tired, I am weak, I am exhausted. Are you bleeding? Are you okay? Okay. What was happening? Like kwanza tu discuss. Even I can break a glass. Thank you. You are the one who is lying. The glass fell and broke. But because of how you were raised, Umevunja, now you know how it feels to be trapped. You know, like a tool, you know. Let the baby feel. Like, safe. That's quite difficult. Jumi, be quiet, shut up all of you. All together. What kind of glass do you use? And perhaps, Water is precious, Kakajiambia, goja nipeleke sink. You should see first, that responsibility or feeling, I don't need to have this glass on the table. Let me take it to the kitchen. So maybe, It's stuck in the sink. aka Gongesha. So you should see that part, and tell her, Thank you for that. Next time, Ukitawa, unawekele hapa ju. Because, God? God? God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. Dad, I'm sorry. God. God. It's hot, but I feel the chill. God. God. God. Because they want to have a script. God. God. They will have a script from your parents. Oh, that's what I'm shaping. Yeah, their word is blank. They are writing. When I make a mistake, I apologize. Tomorrow, you cannot tell him to apologize. If you haven't trained, they haven't seen you apologize. Where? Why do it do it do it do it do it. Would you want to marry, or your sons to marry the same type of your children? Some others work hard, while others just lie around? No. If only you had mentioned that you have a daughter. Bring up your boy, vizuri, na mimi vizuri. I mean, we have a promising generation. That's true. Yes. So we say, we are cultivating a resilient generation. Because tomorrow, the challenges are not decreasing. In fact, I can assure you, it's getting worse. We are entering a different world where every kind of... We are entering a different world where everything is different Whatever it is, it's floating. But as a parent, raise a resilient child so that you won't have to worry to flow, to swim, to fly above challenges through the power of right values and the right parenting. Wow. Thank you so much, Dr. Ray. Thank you so much. Because I feel that if you build a generation of that kind, even if I'm not there as their mother, It's good to have a little rest. I will communicate. Anajua what is right and wrong. Anajua, like, that would be a very easy person to live with in society. Yes. Hakuta kuwa na stuiza. Who is the mother of the child born yesterday? That will just be a good person in society. Wow. Thank you so much, Rose. Maybe before we finish it, We have learned, personally, I'm going to try to learn and do all these things. I'm going to be very intentional. Mimi, I really want to be intentional. So I'm going to try. But perhaps one takeaway for the parents who are watching, Just one small thing, ungependa tu wajaribu. New things may help, maybe badly. What I would like to say is, I like what you're saying. You are going to try. There is no perfect parent. To God be the glory God is God to God is that God that means to be devoted to God What is the meaning of k flowni? kama to be ashamed for learning to learn in if not many What's up, this if not poor Many, many God many things to learn like God Himself You can nini To unlearn, relearn. And also, learn new. First of all, whatever you unlearn, And then you want to learn new concepts. But it takes a willing parent. Let us all learn, strive to learn new scripts and give these kids their inner voice Because you are the inner voice that a child wants to hear. Thank you so much. I am willing to learn. What about you? Thank you so much for coming to my show. I truly appreciate your time. You're welcome. And next time we'll come and talk about the different ages, the different, because I know, 10, 6, 1, 13, See the same. Oh yes, certainly. Yeah, so I hope Nikikuambia Ururita and you accept it If you have accepted it. Anytime. Let's parent together. Oh, thank you so much. So, we are going to have her details here. farm nest in case there's anybody who wants it to seek your services at least to the side Many people. Certainly. You're welcome anytime, and thank you for the great work you're doing. This is great because all of us need to learn. I'm also learning every day Because I'm not a perfect parent either. We are all learning. Thank you very much. Welcome very much. And thank you all for watching. Until next week, let me know what you'd like us to discuss. So leave a comment. But until next time, it's goodbye from us. Tunezo ambia kwa heri. Tunezo ambia kwa heri. Goodbye. Thank you very much. You're welcome. That was nice. That was insightful. Very insightful. I'll try. I'll try.