36-Year-Old Leftover Woman Says He Must Earn ¥700K+ a Year. Her Date Fires Back: Add My Dad!

I'm 36 and still single. I'll admit that before I turned 25, I wanted a guy who owned a business or came from a rich family, but I couldn't find anyone like that. I kept looking from 25 to 30. I wasn't meeting anyone in my everyday life, so I started going on blind dates. I lived in a big city. I couldn't see myself going home to farm. It just wasn't realistic. Honestly, those years of dating really got to me. The guys I liked weren't interested, and the guys who liked me wanted to go home and farm. So I started telling people marriage wasn't for me, and that I'd be fine on my own. I ate and drank on my own, and before I knew it, I was 36. Coming home to an empty room every day still hurts. More women who hope to marry are struggling with staying single. Many grew up watching romantic TV dramas, seeing people flaunt their wealth online, or hearing one-sided dating advice. They came to expect a wealthy husband, sometimes holding out for someone from a rich family. Few men fit that description, and people often look for partners with similar backgrounds and financial means. Years of waiting can end in regret. A video filmed at a matchmaking spot in Hangzhou recently went viral and sparked a broad debate online about dating and marriage. What are you looking for in a partner? At least five feet nine, no bald guys, no overweight guys, and no ugly guys. As for money, he should own a home and a car outright. He should have a steady job and a family that gets along. Ideally, he'd be from Shaoshan. And I definitely don't want a husband who moves in with my family. Yeah, me too. Xiaoshan is known for that kind of arrangement. Why rule it out? First, I have a younger brother, so I don't need a husband to move in with my family. Second, I want a man who's motivated to make it on his own. A lot of guys see moving in with the wife's family as a shortcut. I don't like that setup. I think the woman always ends up with more say than the man, and I don't want that. Right? You don't want a guy leaving off you. Right, exactly. What else are you looking for? The stuff that's hard to pin down. We should get along and share the same values. I'd like someone from a similar family background. It saves you a lot of explaining. But if I really click with someone and we're a good fit, he doesn't have to be from here. It depends on the person. Okay, one more question. How much do you spend in a month? I'm a little embarrassed to say. Maybe 40 or 50,000 yuan? Sometimes 50 or 60,000. Wow, that's a lot. Does your family own a gold mine? No, we just have a restaurant. How much would a man have to pay your family to marry you? Around one million yuan. So bride prices in Xiaoshan really are that high? Yeah, I don't think a million yuan is high. That's probably what people were paying seven or eight years ago. In the video, a 36-year-old woman with a master's degree runs a restaurant in Xiaoshan and owns a home and car. She brought a printed list to the matchmaking spot. A man had to earn at least 700,000 yuan a year, own a home outright, and be at least 5'7". He couldn't be overweight or bald. A man nearby looked at the list and shot back. At 36, you're asking for 700,000 yuan? Why would I marry you? To take care of you in retirement? You might as well add my dad. ...was left speechless. For a while, she couldn't come up with a reply. One person from Sichuan wrote that there was nothing wrong with looking for a good partner and refusing to settle. The question was whether the men she wanted would consider her a match. Another person said a 36-year-old woman had little chance of finding an eligible man who had never married. A commenter from Guangxi said even a 50-year-old man making 700 yuan a year would pass on an older single woman. The commenter added that he'd prefer someone who was 25. At matchmaking spots like this, people openly compare age, education, income, and what each person wants. It's a direct look at how people size up potential partners. The woman with the master's degree has a clear reason for her standards. Her education and income let her live comfortably and securely on her own. She sees little point in getting married if it means a lower household income and a drop in her living standards. She's one of several highly educated women seeking a partner later in life. Another woman, also 36, laid out her terms on a blind date. Okay, let me introduce myself. Sure, go ahead. I have a doctorate and I'm 36. You're 36? Right, I want someone younger, between 25 and 35. I don't like dating older men. Okay, no older men. Miss Yang, what else are you looking for? Well, he'd have to buy me two villas. Two villas? Anything else? A car worth at least 1 million yuan would be fine. Huh? And 1.08 million yuan for the bride price. 1.08 million yuan for the bride price? Isn't that a little high? Look at my education. You can see I'm good-looking and in good shape, too. I've got a lot going for me, and you can see that. My standards reflect what I bring to the table. Some older single women focus on what they bring to a relationship and overlook their shortcomings. Some have strong credentials but put too much weight on status and have unrealistic expectations. They stick to their standards because they want to keep their quality of life. Some women also put little effort into improving their own situation and hope to find a man who can support them financially. How much would you ask for as a bride price? I'd ask for For 880,000 yuan. Why that much? Could he afford it? Because 880,000 yuan is my cutoff. If he can afford it, I know he's wealthy, and I'll be happy marrying him. If he can't afford it, there won't be enough money, and I won't be happy. I don't think men anywhere else get squeezed this hard just to get married. You have to buy a home, pay the bride price, and get a car. The whole setup is wrong. My friends abroad can't believe it. Where they live, both people save up and share the cost. Here, one person can drain the whole family's savings, right down to their parents' retirement money. Marriage should be a partnership where both people contribute. Another person wrote that many women graduate thinking they'll work and have fun for a few years, Then take their time finding someone. The commenter said they underestimate how competitive dating is and how much more age matters than education or a job. 又快过年了。 Chinese New Year is almost here again. I moved to Beijing more than 10 years ago, and I feel like I've gotten nowhere. I'm still single. I'll be 35 next year. I'm still renting, still on my own, and I honestly don't know where to go from here. When I first came to Beijing, I never thought I'd end up like this. This is the result of today. I'm going crazy looking for someone. Trying to find someone is driving me crazy. I'm exhausted. Maybe I should just settle and marry whoever I can find. I'm getting older, and I really can't afford to wait. I keep going back and forth. Should I settle? I'm 37. That's it. I'll never get married. An old classmate offered to set me up today. The guy's from a rural area, works for a state-owned company, and makes 5,500 yuan a month. My heart sank. I just don't see how we could get by. People say older single women just want a rich husband. If that were what I wanted, I'd have married one in my 20s. I just want an ordinary life, and to me, that means being able to make ends meet. My friends say I'm not vain at all. I don't try to keep up with anybody. I don't need designer clothes, just something comfortable, that's well-made, and good fabric. I don't eat much either. I'm always watching my weight. But everything costs money. And without savings, you can't handle what life throws at you. What if someone in your family gets sick and you can't pay for it? That's why people need to save. And if I get married and have a child, I don't want my child growing up struggling for money. I wouldn't want to bring a child into that. You're old, so it's hard to find. I was more than 30 years old at that time. It's hard to meet someone when you're older. When I was in my 30s, a lot of friends told me to start looking sooner because it would get harder with age. I didn't want to hear it then. It took turning 40 for me to get it. By that age, people have been through things and have a clearer sense of what life is like. A lot of us who are still single don't want to marry just for the sake of it or give up a life that works for us. So when you start looking at this age, both men and women can be set in their ways. They think they're doing fine on their own. It's hard enough getting to to know a stranger all over again. Then you both have to make room for each other, and neither person wants to give up what matters to them. I was born in 1989 and I'm 37 years old now. I was born in 1989. I'm 37 now, or 38 by the traditional way of counting. I'm still single, and no one wants to marry me. I'm getting older, and I might spend the rest of my life alone. When I see other people happy together, I envy them. I was doing pretty well when I was younger. In my early 30s, I owned a home worth almost 10 million yuan, but my mom had a business, and I sold the place to pay off her debts. Once I paid them off, I realized I had nothing left. All I have now is a sales job. It's a bank, but it's still sales. If you don't make sales, you don't make money. And the industry is going downhill. I'm 37 and I have nothing. So if you can marry early, I think you should. If you can have children early, do that too. A couple can handle setbacks a little better together and might be happier than I am. Like the song says, I think I'll always be alone. I think I'll be alone my whole life. Statistical models of the dating market put unmarried women over 35 in a group with a low chance of getting married. Surveys in major cities suggest that nearly half of older single women could remain unmarried for life. If I don't find someone this year, I'll stop looking. I'll leave it up to fate. Maybe this is just how my life is supposed to turn out. I was born in 1990. I'm 35 and single. My advice to men and women is to marry while you still have the best chance. It doesn't matter how capable or attractive you are, how much education you have, or what kind of family you come from. Once you miss the window, the people you meet will be less and less of a match. The older you get, the harder it is to find someone and get married. I think that's true for everyone. Matchmakers and relationship vloggers who have spent years working with singles get a close look at how people choose partners and what they expect from marriage. Many see a cycle taking hold in China. Women's standards for a partner keep rising, and men are losing confidence in their chances of finding a match. In the future, more than half of women might never marry. They may want to, but they can't find anyone willing to marry them. They can't find a man who's better off, and they won't settle for someone who's worse off. Men have caught on. Even men with less going for them are giving up the search and living on their own, and the men with more going for them are out of reach. Men are being practical. If a marriage feels shaky, they think they could come out of it alone and broke, so they've made up their minds. If it works out, fine. If it doesn't, they're fine with that too. Now, it's not just boys who get married. Fewer men want to marry now. I think we'll see a lot of women who are willing to marry without asking for anything. Some families might even offer a dowry. I know a lot of people won't understand or agree, but that's where things are headed. In wealthier cities, I think we'll start seeing it over the next three to five years. Right now, all the people coming to me for help are women, and they're getting nowhere. In major and mid-sized cities, even men who are doing reasonably well have very little interest in marriage. The ones eager to marry often have very little, and are just glad if someone will marry them. The guys with even a little going for them are happy to date. Bring up marriage, though, and they'll say they need to think about it and aren't in a hurry. I'm serious. I talk to clients every day, and I know what it's like out there. Women come to me because they can't get things moving. A lot of the men who do come in are still deciding whether to marry, and their girlfriends want an answer sooner. The matchmaker sees more men growing comfortable with staying single. For her, that's a bigger shift than women's rising expectations. It leaves one side actively looking to marry, while the other is increasingly happy on its own. Many brides' families see the bride price as a form of financial security. More men are adding up what marriage could cost them. A wedding can wipe out more than a decade of family savings. Buying a home can mean 20 or 30 years of mortgage payments. Then come years of spending on education, healthcare, and retirement. As marriage starts to feel like a major financial commitment, many young men are stepping back. Something they once took for granted is now something they're still weighing. Some decide life is easier on their own. They spend what they earn without the pressure of a mortgage or bride price or the stress of supporting a family. They may still want a relationship, but the cost of marriage makes them more hesitant to take that step. Marriage registrations already reflect that shift. Marriage registrations in China hit another first-half low. On August 12, 2026, China's Ministry of Civil Affairs released second-quarter figures, showing that over 3.2 million couples registered to marry in the first half of the year. That's down 264,000 couples from a year earlier. Annual registrations have stayed below 10 million couples for six straight years since 2019. The decline is even clearer over a longer period. Marriage registrations reached a record 13.5 million couples in 2013. They've generally fallen since, with brief rebounds in a few years under unusual circumstances. In 2024, just 6.1 million couples registered to marry, the lowest figure since 1980. The overall decline has lasted more than a decade. The cost of getting married has stayed even higher as the economy has slowed. Home prices, stocks, wages, and consumer spending can all fall. The financial bar for marriage keeps rising. A man in Shenzhen who used the pseudonym Mr. Wu told Voice of America that young men in his area face an extremely high financial bar to get married. He said the hardest cost for many to bear is the bride price, which has risen sharply in many parts of the country in recent years. Mr. Wu said Jiangxi province is widely known for having the highest bride prices, with Sichuan and Guangdong a little lower. He said even families of modest means including farming households, can ask for hundreds of thousands of yuan. That's at least 10 years of pay for a typical young city worker who spends nothing. He said many low-income people he knows have simply stopped trying. Alongside a weak economy and population pressures, analysts point to persistent inequality between men and women in China. They say it has helped drive up bride prices and made homeownership a condition for marriage. This has made it harder for young to marry, even as officials keep urging them to do so.