Are you betraying yourself or healing yourself-.

This video is three steps on how to begin to heal self-betrayal. So first, what is self-betrayal? Self-betrayal is a pattern that most of us as adults have carried from childhood. When we were younger, we have had to develop a habit of betraying ourself in order to feel loved or accepted by the most important people around us, who were usually our caregivers. So what we did over time is we learned to either put our wants, our needs, secondary, or for some of us, not even on a priority list, in service or in favor of showing up first and foremost for others that we are in relationship with. So as adults, we live that pattern, meaning we tend to either not be connected to our own wants and needs, and or we don't feel like we have a right to satisfy our own wants and needs as a priority. This usually ends in lack of self-confidence, lack of self-esteem, and sometimes a pretty negative behavioral habit. So how do we begin to heal? First and foremost, we want to begin to set a very small promise to ourself daily. When I say very small, I mean so small it almost seems insignificant. A lot of us set an expectation bar up way too high that before we know it, our only option really is to disappoint ourself. When I mean small, I mean one minute of meditation or breath work, one minute, five minutes, two minutes even of journaling, waking up. So say you want to create a morning habit, don't set the alarm for an hour earlier than you typically wake up, set 15 minutes earlier. One home-cooked meal, setting the expectation bar so low essentially that it sets us up to succeed, to keep those promises. Because remember, the word I'm always talking about is consistency. It's not going to help, we're not going to be able to really heal that self-betrayal by keeping the small promise once every five, ten, seven days. We really have to begin to practice this each day. So the more attainable the expectation that we set for ourself, the more likely we're going to be able to do it. So please keep that promise. I know I did myself, so small. And then notice, meaning acknowledge yourself that you did that one minute of breath work or you made that one home-cooked meal during the week and resist any and all urge to minimize it. I know a lot of us live with a very critical voice in our head, do not pay attention if it tries to diminish or tell you it was only one meal and you're not doing enough. That attention that I'm always talking about, remove your attention from those voices. Do not feed or diminish what you just did for yourself. But do not forget to notice. So often we just do the thing and by the end of the day we are focusing so much on what we didn't do throughout the day that all of these beautiful promises are getting lost. So just make it a habit of keeping that small promise and noticing, not minimizing it. And then the third step, celebrate, meaning accumulate. This is not going to be immediate. These small promises I'm going to let you know right now aren't going to shift your experience of life or your emotions or break your patterns in one day, but I assure you they will over time. So begin to notice, look for those small changes as they accumulate. Acknowledge even those for yourself that will go a long way to keep you motivated to keep that next small promise that next day. So I hope you found this video helpful. Three small steps. A lot of us suffer from that self-betrayal and over time we can really begin to accumulate and rebuild that self-confidence in ourselves.