Heftiges Erwachsenen-Hörbuch Märchen zum Einschlafen "Der törichte Hans" von Josef Haltrich

Hello and nice to have you here. I am Rico. Fairytales are great! Today's story has it all and is absolutely nothing for weak nerves. It begins with a clumsy man making very bad decisions when shopping and thus drawing the wrath of his wife. After she has looked at it a few times, she goes to the market to do the shopping and leaves the man alone at home with the dog and the baby. That was a mistake. Because in his restraint, the man also makes difficult decisions here. This fairytale is sometimes really cruel and rather a violent horror story. You are warned here. However, if you don't want to miss a fairytale and haven't subscribed to the channel yet, then subscribe to it and also activate the bell. And now have fun listening. Hans the Thief by Josef Heitrich A woman had finally achieved what she had long desired in vain. A man. But that was a man she was not allowed to envy any other woman. In the household economy, he was of no use, because he did everything wrong and thievishly. The woman thought she wanted to send him to the market at least to have one and the other bought through him, while she took care of the household at home. The next Thursday she sent him out to buy a pin. Hans, that's what the man was called, went to the market and asked everyone who met him if he didn't want to sell him a pin and showed him his croissants. Finally, a dirty Armenian sold him a big and bad pin, which was not worth a penny, for the croissants. Hans was very happy, took it between his hands and kept rubbing it away and ran homeward. But it was very cold and he was happy on his fingers. Then a clever idea came to him. In front of him, a car with straw drove to the pigsty. He threw his pin on it and ran after it. When the car arrived at his apartment, he called the driver, Ho, ho! The driver looked back, and when he saw the grumpy Hans, he said, Hey, why not even straw, straw? and drove on. Oh, my pin, my pin, stop it! Now Hans told him how he loaded the pin on the straw. But the driver was not in the mood to throw down his straw and look for the pin, and drove on laughing, and Hans ran in crying and complained about the misfortune of his wife. Oh, you grumpy man, she called. If you buy something like that, you put it on your hat nicely. Now wait, now I know. I want to do it like that next time. The following Thursday he went to the market and bought two iron rails for the wheel. He put them on his hat with great effort and tied them with a rope. Then he put the hat on and went. But the heavy poles pulled his head soon to the nose, soon to the neck, soon to the right, soon to the left, and he stammered like a drunk man and had to hold the hat on his head with both hands. The people who went to the market and came from the market stood still and laughed, and the children who returned from school ran after Hans and laughed and spied on him. But his neck had recently become crooked and stiff, and he could hardly stand it any longer. When he finally reached home and entered the room, he sighed. Well, ma'am, you taught me well. There you have it. Oh, you grumpy man, if you buy something like that, you tie it to a rope and pull it behind you. Wait a minute, now I know. Next time I'll do it that way. The following Thursday his wife sent him back to the market. He was to buy a stick. He did that too and tied a long rope to his head and pulled the stick behind him. But that made dust and noise, and the dogs ran after him and tore themselves apart. And when Hans reached home, only the head was still on the rope. But the people and schoolchildren had something to laugh about again. When he came to his wife, he said, Well, you taught me well again. The dogs ate almost everything. Oh, you grumpy man, if you buy something like that, you tie it to a rope and pull it behind you. Wait a minute, now I know. Next time I'll do it that way. The following Thursday he was sent back to the market. Now he was buying a small calf. He tied the rope around his neck and put it on his back. But this soon pulled out his tongue and was dead. You poor calf, you are hungry. Hans thought in his heart, because otherwise he was very sympathetic to his sign. Wait a minute, you should eat at home right away. When he came home, he was happy and said, Well, ma'am, now you won't find anything to eat. Oh, you grumpy man, she called. You got the poor calf. If you buy something like that, you tie a rope around your neck and lead it nicely next to you and stroke it gently and tie it at home in the stable to the crib and lay grass and grub for it. Now I know exactly. Wait a minute, I want to do it like this next time. The next Thursday he went back to the market and bought a wind dog. He tied a rope around his neck, led it nicely home, tied it in the stable to the crib and laid grass and grub for it. But when his wife came along, she hit her hands on each other and called, Oh, you grumpy man, what did you buy? That's a hunting dog for you. Whoever goes with him shouts, Hey, hey, hey, hey! Then the dog runs and catches the rabbit. But it doesn't belong in the stable, but in the crib, and it doesn't eat grass and grub, but breadcrumbs and bones. So she cut the dog free and brought it into her room and fed it. But because it was so thin and narrow, she called it parsley. From now on she didn't want to send her husband to go shopping anymore, because he had always done things wrong and caused great damage to her property. The next Thursday she went back to the market herself, as she had done in the beginning. But she told her husband, You take care of the child in the cradle so that it sleeps peacefully and put parsley in the pot by the fire. I know it now, I want to do it right, Hans said. As soon as his wife was gone, he left the cradle. Went into the house, took the ax and cut the dog into small pieces and put it in the pot. But when he entered the room, the child screamed and was restless. The cradle began to vibrate. Screaming alone was even worse, because it was hungry. Then Hans noticed that the child was twitching. But those were the tendons that trembled with the excitement of the child. But Hans thought it was an evil blizzard, took a big needle and stabbed it through and through. The child only twitched a few times and was dead. Hans was happy and thought he was sleeping. When his wife came home, he told her that he could not put all the parsley in the pot and showed her some more pieces of the wind dog. Far away, the child only screamed once and how he finally silenced it so that it always slept like now. When the woman saw her child in the cradle, she was horrified, because she saw that it was dead. Who, who? she called. You demented man, what have you done? She wrung her hands in her pain and could not hold and comfort herself for a long time. Finally she said to her husband, Go out and look for the boards that we have a coffin made. Hans ran away and looked everywhere for boards and found none. Finally he came to a plank cemetery. There he put his head in a large opening between two boards to lift the upper boards out. Just as these were moved, they fell into his neck with their weight and strangled him, and he could not pull his head out and was about to vomit. Then some boys saw him. They reported it to his wife and she came with help and pulled him out. Oh, you demented man, go home, I already want to make boards. Then she ordered the coffin and arranged the body burial. But because she feared that her husband could disturb the serious funeral by his deafness, she hid his hat from him so that he was forced to stay at home. But as soon as the body was moved out of the house, Hans, when he had been looking for his hat for a long time, instead of the hat he took a long, hat-like butter vessel, put it on, locked the door and ran after it. When the people saw him in such a hurry, they could not resist laughing. Hans, however, ran to his wife and said very cheerfully, I'm coming with you, do you see it? You wanted well, I shouldn't see anything and stay at home. Hans, turn around quickly, the house is burning. His wife called and wanted to send him home in such a fine way. But he called, oh, you nerdy woman, that can't be, I have the key in my pocket. Now the woman of the long patience had just left and broke off briefly. Get out of my sight, you demented man, that I don't see you anymore. Hans didn't let her say that twice and ran away. But when the woman had buried her child and now lonely returned to her apartment, she said, it's better to hang a millstone on your neck and jump into the water than to have such a gate to the man. Woe to the woman over whom our Lord God has imposed such a punishment. But the demented man ran into the world with the millstone on his head so that his wife wouldn't see him and still runs on if he doesn't meet the smart men who always carry light and air in sacks to make glass panes out of them at their windows in Dumhannesdorf and has settled down there. Hello again. Thanks for listening. If you liked the fairy tale and you're not sleeping yet, I'd be happy about a thumbs up and a comment. And if you can't sleep yet, you'll find another fairy tale here. See you soon.