Day 27👗 Become Elegant in 30 Days!

All right, everybody, come on in, come on in. Welcome back to the Elegance Bootcamp. I am Maggie. You may know me as Maggie, the substitute teacher. I have a cooking channel. I'm all about food and femininity. I love helping feminine women attract and keep the masculine man of their dreams. Lucy and I are the founders of the Finishing School for the Modern Woman, which is a privately taught eight-week Saturday school. Enrollment is open. We start again in January. You can go to the link in the description, teachablemomentswithmaggie.com, and the code BLACKFRIDAY gets you a significant discount for a limited time. So, Lucy, would you like to introduce yourself? Hi, Maggie. Hi, everyone. I'm Lucy, also known as Lucasely20. I have a channel that basically focuses on teaching basic Spanish, basic to mid-point Spanish, and sometimes when I see content related to elegance and femininity in Western society, I sprinkle in some of those topics from time to time. And yeah, looking forward to seeing today's topic. All right, ladies. So, we have been in a series. We are up to day 27. Can you believe it? So, this is from The Ultimate Elegance Guide. It is a book from Viviana Bena. She has a YouTube channel called Woman of Elegance. Highly recommend you all check her out and support her. She is on all socials, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube, and she has given us permission to teach her content one subject per day. If you would like your own copy of the book, you can go to the link in the description and use discount code ELEGANCE20 for 20% off of the book. It is a digital download. However, we always like to thank Brandon L. Jett for making this book complimentary for our students in the finishing school. So, if you are a past student or would like to join us in January, you will get your own copy. So, in this book, there's 30 things that you can do on your way to being more elegant. So, I'm gonna share my screen and bring you all up to speed on what we have done so far. Vivian starts from the outside in, but I love that there's so much content here that you all can absorb. So, I'll just go through these quickly. You can see we started with your wardrobe, your makeup, your grooming, your posture. Then we moved into the conversation piece. So, when you're speaking, make sure that you communicate well. Then we moved into the dining piece. Make sure you know how to handle yourself when you dine or have tea with others. And we are in the relationship section. I love this. So, now we are up to day 27. We wanna talk about keeping a clean record, or as I like to think about it, probably what we would call having a good reputation. We are here in the States. Vivian is British. So, sometimes the language might be a little bit different, but I'm gonna pull up her book and then you all can see for yourself. And then we will pick up where we left off. I am very, very excited. All right, so let's share the book. So, you all can see this is the lovely Vivian and this is her book, The Ultimate Elegance Guide. Highly recommend you get your own copy because this never ages. You can always come back and refresh and refine. And you can see here, she has a lot of good tangible things and examples that you could take away on your elegance journey if that is important to you. So, we have made our way up to day number 27, keeping a clean record. All right, ladies, let's get into it. But before we do, Lucy, would you like to add anything? I'm ready. All right, so let's see. What does Vivian say? Keeping a clean record, ladies. Maintain a clean digital footprint. Twitter isn't a place for washing your dirty linen. Uh-oh, she's going in today. The world is reading and the internet never forgets. I'm gonna unpack this one, ladies. And when she says Twitter, it can be Twitter. You can substitute Instagram. You can substitute TikTok. You can substitute YouTube. You can substitute Snapchat. You can substitute Pinterest. All of these social media tools, you've heard Lucy and I say, I mean, social media definitely has its benefits. We're using social media to communicate with you all. It's a wonderful tool, but it can also be used to do a lot of harm. But bottom line, it is not the place for you to go ranting. If this, I know this is something that is more common now when people wanna share all of the good things and then complain about all of the bad things, it's not normal, ladies. These are new tools. Those of us that Lucy and I have shared were older in our forties and fifties. And I know it may seem ancient to some of you all, but there was a time when your close community circle were really the only people that knew what was going on in your day-to-day, if they knew at all. So just be very careful when you have a vehicle like this that can go viral just like that. Think very carefully what you share. It goes back to some of the other sections we talked about, about thinking before you speak in the conversation section. I would argue you need to think before you post, think before you type, think before you respond, think before you make a comment. Just really put those things into place because I love what Vivian says here. The internet never forgets. I like to say the internet is forever. And ladies, it may seem all fun and games now, but future relationships, jobs, investors, your children that you have or wanna have will be able to find all of this. What would you add, Lucy? Yes, and it goes back to the last concept that we shared about being real. People are going to hold you up to what you said. Sorry, guys. Okay, so my husband is installing Christmas lights in my dogs, for whatever reason, forget what he looks like when he's out there. So anyway, so be real. People are going to question every word that you post if it doesn't match what you said two, three, five, 10 years ago now, which how I see things, it's a little different because I think that people can change in five, 10, 15 years, but nowadays people are bringing back receipts since the day you were born. So since now that you know that that's gonna happen, you should be a little more careful about the items that you're going to post anywhere in social media. And if you do, make sure that you can be accountable for what you said and back it up because you are going to be questioned on some of that stuff, especially if you post things about being political, something that could be questionable. Just if you think that it might be questionable, if you think that if it appears in, I don't know, New York, Central Park or wherever they post those big ads, if somebody sees it, what will they say? Think a little bit more about what you're going to post. Also profiles, make sure that you're not posting profiles that really make people that go into your channel question who you are. So again, just be careful, try to clean it as clean as possible because again, it will come back to haunt you. I love that. And ladies, yes, listen to the wisdom of older women. And we are talking about refining here. Yes, you can improve, but your character and who you are should be consistent. So if there are things that you've done, ideally you avoid making these mistakes, but if there is anything that you've done, like Lucy said, you're just going to have to own it and be ready to be asked about it, especially by people who are vetting you. It could be a relationship. It could be an employer. It could be an investor. It could be anything, but be prepared. Don't be surprised. Don't be offended. Don't lie and act like it didn't happen and just say, I really regretted that. It was an emotional response, but I've learned since then, whatever it is, but you can see it's always better to avoid and not have to clean up that mess. So just take a beat and realize. I'll give you all a tangible tip. As content creators, Lucy and I put ourselves out here and we intend to do good, but people can be keyboard warriors and I have seen the comments and I find it fascinating that they're never in the live chat. I'd love to know what you all think that are watching this live about your internet reputation, but they never seem to be in the live chat or at least vocal in the live chat. There's always a comment that comes long after that has something kind of nasty to say. And my standing response is, okay, it doesn't matter what they say. I think you're ugly. I think this, who do you think you're talking to? You're taking us back a hundred of years. Okay, I am not here to convince anyone. I'm not getting in the mud with anyone. I'm not arguing. I'm not wrestling you to the ground. I don't wanna say I don't care, but I know that our message will land on those who want to hear it. There are so many other YouTube channels and so many other spaces out there. If this isn't for you, that's completely fine. I've said from the beginning, I know that there's so many different types of relationships and people do what they want to. We're adults here, but for the women who do want traditional, who do value marriage and family, this is where Lucy and I stand. It's important to me to, as they say, speak my truth, but just say what's true for my experience and not try to argue with anyone because you're not going to change them. You're not gonna change their minds at all. All right, so it's much better for me to do that than to have a rant on the internet and then that other person is won because they want to get under your skin. They want to see you come out of character. They want to see you have an emotional response and I just don't allow it, all right? So remember that, ladies. Let us know what you think in the chat. What do you have to say about this topic? And we'll continue on with what Vivian said. She says, sort out your personal issues off social media. Let your online presence speak positively about you. I love this, ladies. Life happens to all of us, and I don't mind sharing, but I've been on the job market since we started this Elegance Bootcamp. In corporate, things happen, restructures, what not, but that's not anything, and I don't mind sharing that. I don't have anything to hide. It's something that's personal, but I never bring any type of frustration or if I have a rough day with the kids, sometimes when I'm streaming, y'all see I have to get into mom mode or demands of elderly parents or whatever it is, but I sort out those private matters offline. When I'm online, I realize that you all have a choice and we're not entitled to an audience, and so I work really hard to make sure that I'm bringing you all the best version of myself. I don't understand this culture at all where people go online to cry, to yell, to complain. I mean, it's just, how is that helping? It's like a train wreck. And I don't know, maybe I'm different, but I love to leave an experience better than how I came into it, meaning I've learned something or it made me laugh or it was heartwarming or I actually have a takeaway or something that I can do to improve personal development is really important to me. So I bring that approach to my channels. Even if we're having fun and I'm cooking or we're talking to you all, whether it's a Q&A or we're doing this series, I always try to make sure, am I giving or am I just getting stuff off of my chest? So that is my approach. And look, life happens to all of us. These kids, y'all know. I mean, just, it is what it is, but this is not the place to air any of that dirty laundry because we all have an online reputation. We have a digital footprint and I intend for mine to stay positive. What would you say, Lucy? Exactly, and then you kind of think about if you bring all that stuff, that personal stuff out in the open for validation from people that don't even know you, I mean, that says a lot about you and your decision making abilities because that, again, it will come back to haunt you. For example, those women that talk about their divorce and how it do and what they're doing about the divorce, don't forget that those videos can be shown in the divorce court and then that could hurt you in the end. So again, it's just, yeah, you will find those people, millions of people to validate you, but really they don't know you. Why would you want validation for people that have no idea who you are? And in fact, they're going to validate you and say, yeah, yes, girl, yeah, I agree. But then again, are you going to take also the comment that says, well, I don't see it that way. Have you thought about this and have a really negative reaction to somebody that would allow you to see a different perspective, maybe the right approach to the video that you're presenting where other people that want you to get in the mud and be messy are telling you that it's the right thing or do you want to listen to the one that says, perhaps thinking about it the other way would be a better option. So just be careful. There's going to be people that will validate being dysfunctional, but you don't want that because it's going to come back in the end. I 100% agree. Ladies, remember the internet is forever and remember the man of your dreams could be watching, you never know. Or if he doesn't know you exist yet, when he finds you, believe me, they're going to do their research. So ladies, just don't think you can have a bad moment and just scrub it. Once it's out there, it's out there. All right, what else does Vivian say? I'd love to know what you all think. Go ahead and put your comments in the chat so we can respond. All right, so Vivian says, let your online presence speak positively about you. Google yourself occasionally to know what others see about you and delete all incriminating posts and take down inappropriate pictures. Well, well, well. Yes, I mean, if I'm being very honest, you know, I'm going to share this now and then I'm sure people are going to go looking. There's really nothing salacious out there, but I do like a personal audit from time to time, you know? Most of my content is like 90% food, even clearly I like to eat even before I started my YouTube channel. But every once in a while, you know, if I share something like, you know, a doctor's visit or something, I really like to ask myself, because it'll come back in your memories. I'm like, is that important? Is that helpful? Or was I just kind of sharing? So from time to time, you know, I go through and I just either delete or hide, not anything that I would be ashamed of, because I would not have posted anything that I would have been ashamed of. But now I realize, you know, I have a public platform. I have a family. Not everybody, you know, is as open as I am. So I have to respect that. But yes, I thought it was very strange the first time I heard someone say Google yourself, but I did, you know, and I want to know what comes up. And right now it's my cooking content or sometimes my LinkedIn or whatnot. But if you have, I remember I did a job interview, a previous job, and one of the ladies that interviewed me, I don't know how we got on this topic, but she had mentioned to me that when she was in college, she did some type of like prank that was like pole dancing or something. It was fun. She was fully clothed, but it was like at a party and there was a pole and the girls were kind of dancing and it seemed like all in good fun. And somehow that picture and her name attached to it got posted, especially when you do things in a group, ladies, not everybody has the same goals as you. And she has tried everything to try and get it taken down, but it's just out there now. And of course, like a nosy person, I Googled her name and sure enough, go to images. And, you know, she's in a little black cocktail dress, you know, with a drink in her hand and kind of laughing and holding the pole. In the moment, it probably seemed like an innocent or, you know, silly college thing to do. But, you know, now she's married with a family and still embarrassed about that. And there's absolutely nothing that she can do. So ladies, I would just say, you know, audit your own social media, especially if you don't have a public platform, you know, yet but if you see anything that would be questionable or you wouldn't want the man of your dreams or better yet his mother to see it, go ahead and delete it now. There really shouldn't be anything out there that you should have to explain. It should really fall in line with who you say you are. What would you add to that, Lucy? I agree, and if you Google yourself, even books you read will come up. And it's like, cause I belong to Goodreads and, you know, I think I commented something about this book is a really good book. If you want to look at, you know, a traditional way of living, blah, blah. And it's like, Lucy commented to this book and it's like, wow, that's incredible. So even the stuff you read will come up. And if you want a man to kind of get an idea on things that interest you, they're probably gonna look up, what is she reading? What is she listening to? What is she watching? What is she commenting to? So again, just, it's out there. Just be careful. And it's a great idea to Google yourself to see what it is that comes up, you know, after your name. I love that. So I'd love to know what you all think in the chat. Have you ever Googled yourself? If you did, what did you find? Anything surprise you? Or if you're brave enough to share, do you have any content that you wish you could take down that could be a teachable moment for some of the young ladies or other people in the chat? I mean, I think my most embarrassing, you all know I've been on a health and wellness journey. And, you know, when I go back and I look at some of the other pictures, you know, when I was not doing well at all with my weight, you know, I'm embarrassed by that. But that is just, you know, truly me. It's still embarrassing. I can only imagine if I were in some type of compromising situation. I don't have any of that out there, but just know, ladies, like Vivian said, the internet is forever. You're not gonna be able to say, yeah, I know, I know, that was me then. It's really gonna be hard to move in the type of circles that you're gonna want to as a mature woman if you have too much of that out there. So young ladies, listen and heed the words of the wise. Have your fun. Nobody's telling you to be a prude. Just choose your friends wisely. And just, this is what I tell the boys. When you leave the house, even in the house, I have cameras everywhere, inside and out, but you cannot assume that you're gonna get away with anything anymore. I mean, those times are gone. We just live in the type of society where there is surveillance everywhere. And, you know, I think it can be a good thing, but just know that somebody's capturing you somewhere. That's all that Vivian had. Did you have anything to close us out for this episode, Lucy? I did. I liked that portion when you said about choose your friends wisely. Young ladies, if you have a group of friends that allow you to get as wild and crazy without bringing you back and say, wait a minute, don't do that, question who your friends truly are. Because a good friend will keep you from making yourself a laughing stock or ridicule or from ridicule in the future. Just be careful for when those friends allow you to be wild and out and cherish that friend that says, no, you know, we may wanna just go home and go have fun in, you know, our dorm room, or maybe you need some water because that is the friend that will keep an eye on you or keep an eye for you not to get into trouble. I absolutely love that. And also ladies, a man who cares about you wants to protect you. A lot of women get confused and they say, oh, he's controlling. You can't tell me what to do. Beware of the man who lets you do everything in anything that you wanna do as wild, as public, as whatnot. So ladies, especially when dealing with masculine men, you are the feminine asset to their masculine brand, which means what you do impacts him, his name, his legacy, his family. And I'm just gonna tell you flat out, if you do have a trashy reputation, you won't even be considered. So keep that in mind. And if you do have a man that says, you know what, I'd prefer if you covered up a little bit more or don't wear that or take that picture down, consider it a blessing that he's telling you that because he could not say anything and just be like, yeah, I don't care what she does. She's not gonna be around here much longer anyway. It could be a different way. So I would say, if you've got a good one, check in. That's what I do. Sometimes ladies, even before I post something, I'll say, hey, I wanna share this. What do you think? And most of the time he's like, yeah, sure, fine. But every once in a while, he's like, no, nobody needs to know that. And I'm like, okay, yes, sir. And I just keep it moving, all right? Let us know what you all think in the chat. This has been episode 27 of our 30 Day Elegance Bootcamp. Lucy and I are here with you every night at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific. So you can learn from two older women and ways to refine your etiquette, elegance and femininity. All right, Lucy, any final words? No, I think we're good this time. All right, everybody, until the next episode. Adios.