新加坡年轻人不愿跟父母住，为什么

Definitely I would really consider moving out. But again, I think it's very hard to move at this current economic state. I think my parents both treasure privacy and they understand that we also have to be independent on our own. My younger daughter has been independant for more than 1 year I have been relaxed for more than a year Sometimes staying apart or nearby is better reduce the conflict Do you think one doesn't fulfill filial duty if he/she doesn't live with parents What is your view? I don't think so No, I feel it's alright It's both good for him and me it's more free for everyone Live your own life I feel it's better not to live together Just like us It's better not to live together Sometimes small little things like when he does things I don't like what he does he doesn't like what I do then both start to argue again. We feel more close while living apart relationship is more close How often will they come to visit you and meal together? I usually go out with them for meal together every week Oh, actually no, not really. Okay, for me right, Unfilial is when you actually totally desert forget about parents and you only come to them when you need them. Yeah, so I guess a lot of them right, if they move out right, they still make it habbit to move in or on occasions they will still ask their parents out. Or when they travel, they also ask their parents out. So they also, otherwise right, they will constantly like say go back for dinner first, then after that before they go back to their own place. So that's why I think all this simple acts right, also plays a part. It doesn't mean that you stay together. you're being filial A lot of them stay together but they cannot be bothered. So they just treat their parents' home as a hotel. They come, they wake up, do their things, they go out, late at night they come back again. So it's the actions, it's how you actually show the relationship, show your care and concern. That's most important. Moving out, no. I don't... as long as there's that valid reason. Because one thing about us, once we are married, right? We have to look after our own family. So I think someone has to be the head of the household. So our parents who used to be the head of the household, they will continue their lives. But once we have our own family, we will have our new family. And then someone else in our family will have to be the new head. So there won't be so much friction. Because sometimes there could be friction arising from intergenerational people staying together. And then it can create more issues actually. Not staying together can make relationship becomes better that's what I feel Staying togehter there will be more frictions Yes, it will. Sometimes we are very nagging Kids will be more relying on you Both of my daughters are married Sometimes I need to run at both sides Everywhere I go everywhere I have to work I can hardly get any rest My younger daughter has been independant for more than a year I have been relaxed for more than a year What criteria should they consider before they're moving out from the parents? Sufficient fund A lot of CPF Money money fly fly Your reno all fly away. Definitely it's money. If you think about it, a rent will be almost half your pay. You can move up to a single room at most. I'm thinking about people my age and around. So might not just stay with your parents Save the extra $1000 expense. Afraid of being nagged then one wants to have one's own space to do something one wants to Because sometimes at home it's not so convenient Because the mindset of parents and and younger generations are having gaps Sometimes perhaps parents cannot understand them they will wish to have some space of their own to do something they want to do without interruption May I know if you are local Singaporean? No, I am from China Oh, are you living with your parents? I have been living with parents Have you ever considered to move out in the future As of now no So are you single or married? I'm single. Are you staying with your parents? I am staying with my dad My mum, she only comes over over the weekend. Would you consider moving out in the future? Actually, this is my own house. So my parents, their old house has been rented out. So they are like earning passive income and then they can just retire. If I get married, I would have to hear from my partner if I get married, whether she would prefer to stay with my parents. And if she's able to accept it, then I think that would be better Because it's always better to stay with your family members. Oh yeah, I'm single. Are you staying with your parents? Yes, I'm staying with my parents. Will you consider moving out in the future? Definitely, I would really consider moving out. But again, I think it's very hard to move out at this current economic state and house prices. Single, single. Oh, are you staying with your parents? Yeah, yeah, living with my parents still. Okay, will you consider moving out in the future? Yeah, I will consider moving out because I want to make my parents proud, make them feel assurance that I'm able to live by myself in the future. And also, when they are old and they retire, I'm able to take care of myself. Singapore local. Yes, I am. Are you staying with your parents? No, we recently got our own house. We moved to our own house about two years ago. Will you invite them to stay together with you? I think my parents both treasure privacy and they understand that we also have to be independent on our own. We have the luxury of everyone owning their own houses. So at the rate that we're going right now, not yet. But in the event that someone falls ill, then highly likely someone might move in with us. Let's say if you're moving out, will your parents agree with that? I think it's natural for the mama bird to let go of the baby bird out of the nest. So it's a process that they would understand. What are the difference between you staying with your parents and moving out? The difference would definitely be comfort, food and stuff, and also expenses. It's kind of complicated. Your parents won't be there to support you. But again I guess you gain a lot of experience, which money can't buy. And in the future, nonetheless, you have to move out in one way or another. I feel like moving out is like something that's part and parcel of life. It will happen one. So it's like better to get out and get more exposure than to suffer longer in the end. So most of the time, the interaction is via video. Of course, if it's through a video, right? You realise that there's always something missing. So compared to if you're staying together, of course, in terms of the touch is stronger, the bonding is also stronger. So there are pros and cons but then again, we have to try to seek a compromisation that if you want to stay together on a longer term. People in the past are very traditional I think normally they would request to stay together For example my husband's family they have four siblings their parents must stay with the elder son It's a must It's ok for younger ones to move out Yeah, like that. Old folks in the past would request one of the sons to stay with them Young people, they want to move out from parents. What impact does this cause to their parents? Having another watchful eye and assistance, because when we move out, we understand that we are at a certain age and our parents are at a certain age. And they're not as agile or as well as they used to be when we were younger. So when we move out, I think that's the one downside is that we do not know what's going on at home and whether they're okay or not. And especially, if parents do not constantly check on you or everyone understands that everyone else is busy so they don't always tag on you, I do feel that there's a constant worry as whether everything at home is okay or not. And I think the downside of it is when we move out, there's lesser people at home. So there's a lot of resources wasted. Like for example, cooking, you know everybody say, they're cooking for two we're cooking for three. And it's a waste compared to cooking for five people. I really don't think there'll be any negative impact and either positive. It's like, I think if something happens in other countries, it's just that in Singapore, housing prices are sky high and stuff. That's why it's a new phenomenon. But I really think just part and parcel of life, we still like people gonna move out and never gonna meet their parents again. They still gonna meet every now and then, every weekend or holidays. Yeah, so I don't think there'll be any impact. Almost the most, I guess the parents could save extra money or like can get one less head or the children have to spend more money since they're on their own. Yeah, besides that, I don't think there'll be any negative or positive impact. To stay with parents of course I feel when parents get older the more they wish to have the accompany of the children so I think they will want to stay with their children more because they want to have more time to stay with their children isn't it? Yes, I think so afterall children are the treasure of parents they want to see more of their ups and downs in life then invovle in their life. Will you consider to move out after you get married? I don't have such plan at the moment if I were married I definitely would buy another house then up to my partner's preference I don't feel it will have impacts Take me as an example no impact at all they will still take care of us but they don't have to stay with us then it is counted as caring us No need to see each other everyday You have staring at her for tens of years you still don't feel enough? - It seems we feel lonely. - We feel lonely. - Suddenly, let's say, if you just imagine in the old days, everyday, very noisy, suddenly everyone quit quiet. I think we're lonely here. If someone, let's say, still have job, maybe, okay, go to job, have fun, find some new friends. But sometimes, if one more, let's say, everyday stay in the hall, watch TV, I assume it'll be lonely and get older. Also, maybe have the cynical issues. You have to adjust yourself. - Usually, from what I see, most of the parents nowadays, they're very open-minded. In fact, they encourage their kids to go out because if you stay in the parents' right, then you are still under protection. That means you expect them to take care of your living style, cook for you, do your chores for you, things like this. So you can never be independent. In fact, when you stay out, right, then you start to realize that, oh, you start to appreciate what your parents did for you in the past. Oh, you realize that, oh, no wonder they always worry about meals, worry about the cleanliness of the house because now you need to take care of on your own. That's why staying out, right, it's not really a bad thing, but it's just that if you choose to move out, maybe just to choose a location that's nearer to your parents' place so that you can at least make an effort to visit them like, say, once or twice, or biweekly so that they will not feel that by moving out, they're losing you. That's the thing. (upbeat music)