Why So Many Women Are Single (Men Don’t Want Relationships?)

Hi everyone. Welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, I'm Courtney Ryan. And today we are tackling another TikTok video. There's a lot of bad advice on TikTok, let's be honest, or just a lot of bad takes. Um, I try to be respectful. I try to be graceful because I think that is the right thing to do. Um, so we're going to react to this. A lot of you tagged me in this. A couple of you sent it to me. So we're going to see what I think and go through it together. So let's get into it. So it's actually someone else reacting to the original video. Um, a bit of inception going on here. So let's go. Men don't actually want relationships. You wanted equality and now you're complaining that they don't want to be in a relationship with you. Equality also means the same. And since these men are not gay, why would they want to be in a relationship with another man? So you got your equality and now they don't want to be in a relationship with you because you bring nothing to the table. You're basically men. They use you for one thing now. Of course they do because that's what makes them not gay. But everything else, you're just like a guy. So they don't want to be in a relationship with a guy. Otherwise they would be gay. And since they're not, they don't want to be in a relationship with you. You're not respectful. You don't give them peace. Maybe try being kind and sweet and nice and don't bring drama into their lives. And don't try to change them. Accept them for who they are and believe in them. And then they'll want to be in a relationship with you. It's not the fact that they don't want to be in relationships. They just don't want to be in a relationship with you. There's a difference. You hear that? Yes ma'am. I would also like to say the first woman's TikTok username is Spicy Disaster. I'm thinking if your username is Spicy Disaster, it's giving me drama. It's giving me chaos. But maybe that's just me being a little judgmental. Okay. This video is in the same stratosphere, I guess, as the video I reacted to recently where I finally matured and realized men are not intimidated by me. They just don't like me. And that's what this video reminded me of too, in the sense of where it's not that men don't want relationships. They just don't want relationships with you. And instead of thinking to yourself, maybe I'm just not very likable, or maybe we aren't compatible, or maybe I have things that I could work on to make myself a better partner that people want to be with. Or maybe I'm not pursuing men who are emotionally available or relationship material. Maybe I'm choosing men poorly. It automatically, instead of all that, any of those thoughts popping up in your head, it automatically goes to, well, I'm convinced that all men don't want relationships. Yeah, they do. Yes, they do. Be so serious right now. I don't understand how you can even say that with a straight face. We are constantly deflecting and blaming everybody else but ourselves. I know that I've said this a million times. I sound like a broken record. But until more people watch these videos that I make and really take what I'm saying to heart, I will continue to repeat myself because it needs to be said. I'm not here to sugarcoat things. I'm not here to make you feel better about yourself. I'm here to say that until you step up, look in the mirror, and take accountability, things are not going to work out for you. You're essentially just going to have the same things repeat over and over to you, the same guy in your life with a different face on him. It doesn't help you to deflect or to blame other people for why things aren't working out for you. It makes the problem so much worse. I've also heard women say this. I can't believe that I've actually heard this, but I've seen it online. I've heard people say this in person. People have said this to me. To me. I've experienced this. They say, he didn't like me or he wasn't into me so he's probably gay or he must be gay. Your first thought if someone doesn't like you is automatically thinking that they must be gay. That's concerning. That is so concerning. There's a possibility that he just doesn't like you, miss girl. Some things to consider instead are who are the men that you're trying to date? If you're a woman watching this, really dissect that for yourself for a minute. Pause the video, take a moment if you need to. Do all men, every man in the world, do they all really suck or do they all really not want relationships? Or is it just maybe the ones that you're going after? Honestly. And I went and watched the original video that this woman was reacting to just so I could get the full context. And it was a pretty short video. Basically she was just saying that she thinks that men don't actually want relationships at all. They don't, you know, want a partner. They just want someone who can fit into their life and be convenient and kind of just be there. And just from those context clues alone, like you really don't need to say much for me to know that the men you're choosing are probably not great. And I actually do believe that most men, the same as most women, want relationships deep down. As humans, we are meant to connect with each other. We are meant to form meaningful, deep connections with other people. So to generalize to this point and say that men don't want relationships, they just want like a little puppet, I don't think is accurate. And have I met every man in the world? No. But I've interacted with enough of you at this point to know that most of you are on my channel. You watch my videos because you want a happy, healthy, fulfilling relationship. Emphasis on happy, healthy, and fulfilling. So most men do want relationships, just the ones that you're going after probably don't. Or they just don't want a relationship with you. There's a big difference there. And I would say the exact same thing if it was a man in the video saying the same thing about women. If nobody wants a relationship with you or to create a meaningful, long-lasting, committed relationship with you, consider the fact that you could in fact be part of the problem, whether that's you yourself, you know, having some things that you need to work on or the people that you're choosing to be with. Some of you, men and women included, have laughably poor criteria for choosing a partner, a lifelong partner. This is like the most important decision you ever make in your life and you're out here just, oh, he's six feet. Good. Oh, she has a big butt. She'll make a great wife. Like, are we okay? And the funny thing was I did a little bit of digging. Normally, I don't do that when I am reacting to people because I just react to what you guys send me. But I was really interested here and I was trying to get to the bottom of it. The TikTok, I think directly before this one, the original one that she made, was her saying that women are out here living our best life, single by choice because men suck or something along those lines. And it's like, do you not see how maybe that's what's causing you to end up in relationships that aren't good and you're picking poor men and it's just a vicious cycle that continues to repeat itself? If we continue to tell men that we are better off without them or we don't need them or that all of them are trash and all of them suck or we're out here living our best lives and choosing to be single and not be with them, eventually, they're going to start listening to us. Why would a man who has options, which is probably the man that you're going after because that's what we do, and this is not even about being picked or being chosen or, you know, making yourself a woman that a man would want to be with. This is just a general question here. Why would a man who has options of other women to be with choose to be with a woman who consistently tells him that she doesn't need him or most of the time act like she doesn't even want him to begin with? Why would a man want to build a life in a partnership with someone like this? I'll tell you right now. Why would anyone want to build a life or a partnership with someone who was combative or incredibly argumentative or was an independent boss babe that says she doesn't need any man or want any man? I wouldn't want to be with a man who was talking about how he hated women or how all women suck. Never have those words ever left my fiance's mouth and never have his actions reflected that in any way and if they did, I wouldn't want to be with him. I wouldn't want to be with any of these men who are on YouTube screaming about how all women are the scum of the earth and horrible and evil. Do you think you're really going to have success with the opposite sex if you're approaching it with this hateful bitter mindset or opinions? I understand if you've been burned in the past and you're a little hesitant moving forward but for crying out loud you're not going to land yourself in a happy healthy fulfilling relationship if you have these awful thoughts about the other gender. I thought that was common sense and I also really want to say this because I think this is important too. What we allow is what continues. If you allow men that you're going after to treat you like a situationship or to make you an option instead of a priority, that's how they'll treat you. For the men watching, if you allow women to use you and walk all over you and use you for nice meals or gifts or buying her things, she's going to continue to do that because you're allowing it. Everyone watching, have some self-respect, set boundaries for yourself and be realistic when it comes to what you're looking for in a partner. And I think a big part of that is knowing what the opposite sex is looking for or wants in a partner. And be really honest with yourself about that. I really cannot emphasize this enough. I want you guys to be so honest with yourself and take a look in the mirror and say to yourself, am I someone that the person I want to be with would also want to be with? And there's a harsh reality to that. It's humbling when you really think about this checklist that you have for someone that you want to be with and then you know you kind of measure yourself up too and realize, okay, do I have these things? Do I not have these things? Would someone that I genuinely want to build a life with, want to build a life with me? And again, going back to what the opposite sex wants in a partner. Women want specific things and men want specific things. We're looking for different things. We're different. There's some overlap for sure, but not everything is the same. And if you're a woman, just because you're looking for a man who is financially independent or financially stable and who is a certain height and makes a certain amount of money, men are not looking for those things in women. I think a lot of people get it really twisted and think, okay, what I'm looking for is what that person is looking for too. When in reality, that's not the case. So then I think it creates a ton of people out here incredibly confused and discouraged about what they're doing because they don't actually know what they should be doing or what they're asking for. And then there's unrealistic standards which add a whole extra layer of complexity into it and we don't even know how rare it is what we're asking for in another person. And if you don't even know how rare it is what you're asking for and you also don't know what it is they're looking for, we're still out here like floating around. What are we doing? So do I think it's true that men don't want relationships or to build happy, healthy, fulfilling connections with another human being? No, I don't think that's true at all. I think they might not want that with every single woman. The same way women don't want that with every single guy. Just because a guy will see you casually or have, again, a situationship with you doesn't mean that he wants to build a lifelong partnership with you. The same way that there's plenty of women out there who would date a man but wouldn't necessarily marry him or would friendzone a guy and use him for stuff but not actually date him. I also do think that what people value for casual connections and short-term things are incredibly vastly different than what they value for a long-term partnership. And again, what you allow is what will continue. I never even allowed myself to be in a casual situationship. What do I think has caused this? Hookup culture. What do I think has caused this? People not wanting to get married. What else do I think has caused this? Unrealistic expectations of people just doing all these meaningless casual hookups and situationships and flings that don't actually mean anything. And then everyone is out here feeling unfulfilled and unhappy because we have not formed a deep connection with another human being. I could go on and on about this, I think, until the end of time. It was light out when I started filming this, now it is dark out because I've just continued to go on and on. But it's because it's incredibly important and I think it's so crucial that we know these things when we're dating or when we're not having success or when we are setting our standards and our expectations of what we should be looking for and expecting in another person. Dating is tough. I'm really trying to do my part on my little corner here on YouTube to make it happier and healthier, but that only happens if people, you know, actually listen to what I'm saying. I really wish this butting heads between men and women would just chill out and stop. It's so frustrating. It is so sad to watch. And until we start to have conversations together and listen to each other, listen, not argue, not debate, not scream at each other, not say how awful the opposite gender is. Until we have conversations and listen to each other and come together, things will not get better. And I know that my content is mostly for men, although I do think a lot of my content could be really beneficial for women as well. I hope that women watch this video. I hope that women see this and really just keep an open mind and listen to what I'm saying because it's not about men versus women. It's not about one being better than the other. It's about us coming together, listening to each other, being kind, being respectful, being graceful, and stop fighting all the time. It's exhausting. Are you exhausted? I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted. So that's all I have for this video, guys. If you liked it or found it helpful, be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel to be in the loop for when I release new content. If you haven't already, be sure to follow me over on Instagram at CourtneyChristineRyan. I love connecting with all of you guys over on there as well. As always, thank you all so much for watching and I will see you all next time.