Best Places To Meet Great Women, What Girls Notice In A Guy & Standing Out In DMs

Hi everyone, welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, I'm Courtney Ryan and we are joined again by Halle. Hello. And today we're gonna be answering your questions. So some of you submitted these in the entry form on my Instagram profile. I have a little highlight called Need Advice. So if you have a longer question, kind of one-on-one type of thing, you can submit it there to be featured in a video. But then also I asked you guys on my Instagram story to submit questions for me and Halle to answer and you guys did not disappoint. So if you wanna participate in a future video like this, be sure to give me a follow over on Instagram. But let's just get right into it. Girls are overwhelmed with DMs on dating apps, advice for guys. So maybe advice to stand out. Because I mean, if you looked right now, how many messages do you have? Probably a bunch. Honestly, the biggest is make a connection because, and that goes back to the being funny. If I can remember who you were, like, oh, you're the guy that said, I don't know. Something funny. You're the guy that said this funny thing. I'm gonna remember you more so than someone I like, okay, you had a good day. I don't remember. Like, never say hi or hi, what's up. Like, never ever, if you wanna stand out. Because you're not going to and she's not going to reply to you. Yeah, that's a... Sense of humor and then also curating something based off of her profile. Not just something that you send to every single girl and it's so obvious that you say the same thing to everyone. Like, use something from her profile to start a conversation with her. It's kinda like quality over quantity. If you're trying to stand out, be more selective on who you're liking and then, like Courtney said, tailor your response, tailor what you say to her profile and actually make a connection with that person. Don't forget that that's not just a dating profile with pictures, it's a human behind the screen. So try to connect with them. How can you talk to them? I think when you think about it that way too, it makes it easier for you to say something. Because I think a lot of people say things online that they would never actually say. Like, would you just walk up to a girl, hi, what's up? Yeah, exactly. You'd be like, okay. It's so strange, the girl's like, who the heck are you? Like, you would try to make a connection with her to say something that you like or something about the menu that you guys are about to order from at the coffee shop. Like, you make a connection, a human connection, and when you remember that it's a human behind the screen, it might be easier for you to say something mean to them. Agreed, yeah. Okay, best place to meet someone outside of bars and clubs. So have you met anyone in person? Or would you say dating apps are a good option too? It's actually a good question. I don't know, no. We can think about it. The gym. I would say the gym is good, but it's hard to approach people these days because everybody doesn't want to talk in person. Everyone gets so mad too. And I actually got frustrated with this because I was against dating apps for a while. Yeah, I know you were. I was like, I will never download a dating app again. Sure enough. It's the way of the future. It's how our society is moving. Yeah, I just accepted it at this point. Cause I knew I wanted to start dating again. And it really, unless I was going to set a goal for myself to approach five guys a day, it just wasn't going to happen. Like no one was approaching outside of, cause I wasn't at the time going out. I mean, I still haven't been going out much. So it's like, where else? You're mostly at your apartment. So how are you going to meet people at your apartment? Exactly. So yeah, I mean, if I had to say something, it would be hobbies. Like I go salsa dancing and you can meet people doing that. Join a club. Do things you're interested in. Coffee shops. Yeah. I mean, at that point, it's just someone has to have the guts to approach in real life. Yeah. So if you're looking to meet someone outside of an app, it's possible, but you're probably going to have to be the one to approach. Yeah. Like a lot of you say you hate dating apps, but then aren't willing to approach in person. So it's like, then you're never going to meet someone because the chances of a girl approaching you are slim to none. I know it's 2022. Girls do it more often than not, but normally it's in the bar and club scenes when they actually do. Yeah, that's true. Because they get the guts because they've had a few shots. Yeah. They've got it. They're like, oh, I feel confident now. I can go up to them. But at a coffee shop, is a girl going to come up to you? Probably not. Like it's very rare. Also, I like a guy that has the confidence to come up to me. Yeah. I kind of like to take on the more feminine role in my relationship. So I would want a guy who can, you know, come up to me and be the first one to kind of be direct. So just keep in mind what you're looking for, but if you're not willing to do the online dating or bars and clubs, you got to kind of have a compromise and really put yourself out there. So what do you look for in a guy personality wise and physically? So we'll go for personality first. So like, what are some traits that you look for? So I like people who are like spontaneous. I like spontaneous people, ambitious, hardworking, passionate about something. Yeah. Like I don't have a very specific like, oh, they have to be doing this. But if you're passionate about something. Yeah. I love to see that. Regardless of what you're doing, you know, if you've got the passion behind it, you can. Yeah. People who are funny. And I actually really like, think sarcasm is hilarious as long as you don't take it too far. But like, I like sarcasm. Yeah. So funny people. Because it makes you feel more comfortable. Yeah. When people are like sarcastic with you. I banter back well with it. Yeah. I feel like I've been saying that a lot. But yeah. But also the things that you mentioned for personality, those are all things that you have. So I think you almost kind of look for, you know, traits that you have. Or that's how it should be. You should be what you want to attract, right? So, you know, you look for things that you are also. And then maybe physically, like what are some things that you like, or find attractive in a guy? Physically, I feel like I like, it kind of ties into hobbies because I like to work out. I like to be active. So somebody who's relatively fit, not, you know, lazy or anything. They like to do stuff. They like to be active. Not saying you have to be a bodybuilder. Yeah. You don't have to be a bodybuilder. Preferably actually not. That's a very intense lifestyle also. Nothing wrong with it, but it's not for everyone. But also just, you know, things that you can enjoy together, working out. And style wise, I've kind of found I have two types. Like, I have a more like manly type, where it's kind of the country boy, more masculine. But then I also like guys who are very stylish. And, I don't know if I want to say feminine, but more artsy, kind of. Like metro? Metro, yeah. I like that too. Okay. Like describe an outfit so the guys can kind of understand what you're thinking of. Like, like dark denim with a cute pair of white sneakers and a nice shirt with a cool jacket over it. Or do you mean like street style? Which one? Either one, honestly. Anyone that knows men's fashion and wears it well on themself. Because, I mean, that's not my area of expertise, so I don't think I can think of something off the top of my head. Yeah. But when I see it, I can tell. That outfit looks good on him. Like he put effort into his outfit. Yeah, yeah. And it's not just some like, random shirt with a big logo on it, like a Nike logo and a pair of shorts or something. Right. Yeah. Okay, so a guy who puts some effort into himself and a guy who can dress himself. Yeah. That's not too much to ask for, I don't think. And if you watch my channel, you already know this, so. All right. I asked a girl out for coffee, but she said she isn't dating right now. Will she change her mind? No, she doesn't want to date you. Yeah. If you ask her out and she said she isn't dating right now, that just means she doesn't want to date you. Yeah. I mean, I was, this actually, exact scenario happened to me once. I really wasn't dating at the time. Clearly, if I would have been interested though, I would have went on a date with them. Right, and it's like, do you want, even if she said she's not dating right now, like, why do you want to stick around and wait for her? Because you're clearly not wanting the same thing. Yeah. You're not on the same page. Yeah, 100%. It's like when girls think they can change a guy and they wait around for him to change and it's like, you are wasting your time. Yeah. Why are you doing that? And you know it. Yeah, at that point, you almost put the ball in her court. Yeah. If the rare occasion, like, I don't want to say never, but like, on the rare occasion that she was interested and simply was taking time to herself. Yeah. Because I know that's big right now on social media and stuff. For sure, yeah. Which is reasonable. It makes sense. Yeah, she knows you're interested. Yes. You let her know. Yep. So if she, yeah, if she's interested, she'll come back to you when she is dating. If not, let it go. And if I were you, I would not sit around and wait for her because you can miss out on so many opportunities and people that are on the same page as you because you're just waiting for this girl who doesn't know if she wants to date you. So, definitely don't wait around, but if she comes back around at some point, I don't think it's always the worst thing and it's not always for malicious reasons. Okay, next one is, X is in a rebound. What should I do? Nothing. I think you should be single. Yeah. Continue on. Don't say anything. You don't need to do anything. A rebound is just a sign that they are uncomfortable being by themselves. So, you dodged a bullet. Don't, just delete them off social media if you have to. Block. I know it kind of seems harsh. Don't look. Don't creep. Don't download a third party app where you can see what their story is even though you don't follow them on Instagram. You're just making it harder on yourself and defeating the purpose. Yes, you're just making it harder and you're not doing yourself any favors by creeping on her new relationship or even calling him a rebound. Just let it be what it is. She'll figure it out without you and you dodged a bullet. Yep. Exactly. Okay. Advice about self-discipline. I included this one because I know you post a lot about this and as a content creator, you are your own boss. Both of us. So, you don't have a boss telling you what you need to get done. You just do it. So, having that self-discipline is crucial for what we do. So, what are some ways that you have developed self-discipline and continue to do it as you're working? The biggest, the most helpful thing for me with self-discipline is having habits because I naturally can get very, like I'm a very motivated person but motivation and discipline are two completely different things. You're not always gonna be motivated. Motivation comes and goes. It comes and goes. You're not always gonna be motivated and so that's where the self-discipline comes in. Having habits makes you commit to that self-discipline. It makes it subconscious. Like you don't even have to think about it. You're just gonna do it because it's on the checklist and you're gonna get it done. Yeah. Like if you have a habit to work out every day. Yeah. There you go. You're not gonna always have the motivation to do that but if you have the self-discipline and you've developed a habit for yourself, you're going to make sure you get it done because it's what you gotta do. It's just on the to-do list. Okay, have I worked out yet today? No. Okay, gotta get it done. It's like brushing your teeth. Even if you don't want to. Or taking a shower. You might not feel like going. Some days you might be super excited to go to the gym but yeah, that's exactly and it's kind of task-based too because there's certain things, like I'm super self-disciplined with going to the gym and working out but there's little things like editing a video on time and stuff like that where it's really hard to keep your self-discipline all the time. Having a routine helps too. Habit and routine because you're like, okay, I know on this day I do this. It's the day that I dread but I get it done. You kind of make it something that you know you have to do. Also, I would say with self-discipline, I've noticed when I make promises to myself and I make sure that I keep them, I trust myself more and I'm more self-disciplined because I know that I can do it and I know that I trust myself to get it done. Have you ever told yourself you're gonna do something and then you don't do it and you feel so guilty and you feel like crap? That ties in with self-esteem too. Actually, Ed Milet, I don't know if you know who that is. He talks about that all the time. I love listening to him. Who is it? Ed Milet. He always talks about self-esteem and trusting yourself and doing what you say you're gonna do. It literally goes hand in hand. All of it does, yeah. The days that I make a list and I get everything done, you just, your self-esteem's through the roof because you believe in yourself and that's where it starts. So if you're just starting out, I would say make one to three very small promises to yourself every day. Okay, today I'm going to work out. I'm going to do this and this. And make sure you keep those promises that you make to yourself. You're gonna boost your self-discipline. You're gonna boost your self-esteem and your confidence. You're gonna feel like a million bucks. Versus if you sat there and didn't do it, you would just feel guilty for not doing it. So you might as well do it. That's the key to start small because when you're, you'll self-sabotage yourself if you do three things, a million things, and then you won't realistically get them done and then you'll feel like crap. Yep, so start with one. Just one thing a day. Small. Yep, and hold yourself accountable and just get it done. And you'll start to build that self-discipline in those habits. You can add on more. Yep, so we're basically experts in self-discipline. But anyway. I don't feel like one. Maybe we're just feeling a little more motivated. Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, that's all we have for this video, guys. If you liked it or found it helpful, be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel to be in the loop for when I release new content. If you wanna participate in future videos like this, be sure to follow me on Instagram at CourtneyChristineRyan and give Hallie a follow as well at? At Hallie underscore Smith, H-A-L-L-E-E. Perfect, don't spell it wrong. We'll go over that one again. As always, thank you all so much for watching and we will see you all next time. Bye.