Sophie Buddle | Dad Joke Gone Too Far

Hi! Hey everybody! I'm really happy to be here. I live in Vancouver. I'm from here originally. Yeah, Vancouver is awesome. Actually, right before I left, I got here on Monday. Right before I left, a really hot guy tried to pick me up in the park in Vancouver. And by hot, I mean aggressive, obviously. And by guy, I mean crow. Do you guys get attacked by crows here? Are there crows here? I get attacked by crows every day of my life. This is real. It's an actual problem we have in Vancouver. Nobody visits. It's very scary. And it's not like chill. It's not cool. They fly down and they grab your head and your hair with their talons and they call you ugly. And it's very emotionally distressing. And like when I was little, I thought I was going to be like Snow White and birds were going to dress me, but no, they try to scalp me. So like I live in an urban, modern city. I don't think I should be attacked by nature. So I called the city and the lady was not helpful at all. She was like, whoa, we don't kill crows here. And I was like, relax, everybody calm down. Can you transfer me to the correct office? Because I'm a person. Was that not clear? I'm a person. Kill them. Kill the birds. And she was like, were you making aggressive gestures towards the crow? Yeah. So I hung up because she's useless forever. And I came up with my own plan to get the crows to leave me alone. It's a very good idea. I'm going to start dressing like a scarecrow. I know. I know that it's a good idea. And I was thinking about what my outfit would be because I still want to be cute, but I also want to not be attacked by birds at all. And it's going to be easy because scarecrows just dress like people from Vancouver. You know what I mean? It's a lot of like hats and flannel and like ripped jeans and a stick up their ass. Do you guys marijuana at all? Is that part of your life? Yeah. That's cool. I have a weird relationship with pot because my dad is a stoner. So like, yeah, like your parents do something. It's not even really cool. And like my dad smoked a lot of pot when I was little and I would smell the pot smoke obviously. And I'd be like, yo daddy, oh, what's that smell? And my dad would always just tell me that he farted. So I was very confused for a long time. I used to think that my dad and his friends would get together outside to fart and make sense. Farts are funny. That's why they're laughing so loud. But like, I don't think that it was bad that my dad smoked pot or anything like it didn't. Well, like obviously it was irresponsible and he shouldn't be a parent, but um, but like it didn't turn me into a stoner or pothead or anything. I don't really like smoking pot. Like I'll have a little at a party sometimes, but I don't like it. I don't like the taste of it. I feel like I'm eating farts.