Weekend Update: Trump and Biden Visit Southern Border, McConnell to Step Down - SNL

It's Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che. Good evening everyone. Welcome to Weekend Update. I'm Michael Che. I'm Colin Jost. President Biden visited the southern border on Thursday and was horrified to discover it is being swarmed by criminals and rapists. That's right, both Biden and Trump coincidentally visited the border on the same day, which sounds like the setup for the weirdest rom-com of all time. My favorite part of the visit was when Trump, who looks good behind bars by the way, finally came face to face with his sworn enemies, the migrants, and he had a pretty harsh message for them. Take a look. They like Trump. Can you believe it? No, I can't believe it. The migrants don't like you. They just walked a thousand miles to get to edge of this river and they're probably thinking, is that weirdo in a Trump costume waving us into the country? Mitch McConnell, seen here catching up on news from the Middle East, announced that he will step down as the Republican leader in the Senate, with many saying the main reason is his bad relationship with Donald Trump. But come on, just because you hate somebody doesn't mean you can't still have a very successful working relationship with them. I almost feel like that was about me. Mitch McConnell, Mitch McConnell, seen here walking out of a theater after watching 12 Years a Slave, announced he will step down in November. He'll be replaced by the current number two Republican in the Senate, a frozen embryo holding an assault rifle. Mitch McConnell, seen here after rearranging a blind woman's furniture, gave a moving speech on the Senate floor announcing his retirement, which honestly made me start to admire Mitch McConnell, seen here watching a single mother sell her blood for diaper money. Mississippi Republican Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith blocked a bill that would protect access to in vitro fertilization because, as they say in Mississippi, if you're having trouble conceiving, just try with a different cousin. After Nikki Haley's poor showing in Michigan, pressure is mounting for her to drop out of the race, but mostly because the dishes are piling up at home. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. President Biden went to Walter Reed Medical Center for his annual physical. Doctors said Biden was fit as a fiddle in that he's old timey and held together by strings. In an interview, Senator Mitt Romney said that he will not vote for Donald Trump over Joe Biden. Now, some of you may remember Mitt Romney.