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抱歉 這些是為了最近死亡人士 嗯... 你走太遠了嗎? 嘿嘿嘿 這個空調比任何律師都要好 我見過很多我沒見過的學生 Sugar 嗯哼 誒...Mrs.K 噢...Arthur 我們浪費更多能量 比Ricky Martin的女朋友還多 嘿呦 先生們 我們城市像我太太一樣 Mr.Burns 你的計劃可以應付嗎? 沒問題 我們從幼稚園取得了多餘的能量 他們會向他們的父母抱怨嗎? 但先生 我們的能量太低了 再加上一臺電腦 我們的系統可能會過電了 噗... 別擔心 我們城市遭遇了災難 而且我聞起來像客廳的香水 嗯...嗯... 你知道嗎? 我們把這個地方冷卻下來 一陣冬天的溫暖 爸爸 不!我們在嘗試保存能量 Lisa 如果我們開始保存能量 環境主義就贏了 噢...Jingle Bell Jingle Bell什麼? 爸爸 這是黑暗噪音 黑暗噪音? 噢... 每次爸爸和我一起 都是個災難 噢不 電源壞了 我們會想念Fox Celebrity Boxing 我聽說今晚他們會有 Ed Bradley vs Mr. Ed 很糟糕 交通燈都關掉了 開車肯定很危險 對 告訴我吧 我身邊有個傻子 正前來幫我 在電話裡耍賴 嗯 我聽到 我身邊有個大射手 在打我 嘿 你在跟誰說話? 你男朋友嗎? 嘿 傻子 你的聲音很熟悉 哈哈 我聽不到警鈴 讓我們停下來 他不是在偷東西嗎? 不 他只是在偷東西 太棒了 我們去瘋狂吧 兔崽子 你不能買這些 噢 看看這些毯子 哈哈 噢 糟糕 Kent 這個城市爆發了 一場大火 我想觀眾們想知道的是 我的房子還好嗎? 你是說你的巨型城堡還好嗎? 不要恨我 因為我買的時間正確 我的時間正確呢? 他們在偷車輪 噢 有些壓迫 來吧 好了 各位 立即分散 我們準備使用力量 什麼? 我們還沒準備好 他們從來沒有來過 這就是法律的規則 看看那些盜賊 打破窗戶 燒燒火 他們在我夢裡生活 你不會讓我加入他們 拜託 我可以丟一個小的嗎? 不 如果我燒掉它 不 我可以丟一個小的嗎? 我已經造成足夠的麻煩 因為我丟掉了聖誕樹 沒有任何不負責任的行為 我可以喝啤酒嗎? 好 但不是最重要的 Homer 你必須設定條件 沒有啤酒 給我一件T恤 我逃過了春季大火 你還記得我嗎? 我是個英雄 盜賊偷了我的眼鏡 這將會成為超級球 在我的年代 我們有些人支持盜賊 我們稱他們為男人 我同意那個醜陋的蟲 他很醜 我認為我對自己 漫畫家 和蝙蝠俠 所說的 我責怪主席克蘭西·威格姆 這不僅是我的錯 你是做盜賊的 當然 責怪犯罪者 打他一頓 這是什麼? 人們 請保證 警察部門 不得不站起來 我宣佈 藍線委員會成立 委員會? 他說藍線? 委員會沒那麼好 我的意見 所以 我們能保留盜賊的東西嗎? 我認為可以 我不管他們說什麼 我不會在這個城市 直到我們有更好的警察 對 威格姆 沒辦法在 Millhouse的生日派對中捉到酷蒂 爸爸 噢 真的 大家都說你的派對很棒 Homer 這全都是你的錯 如果你沒有 安裝你跳舞的聖誕節 這些事都不會發生 我承認 我錯了 但我不會感到罪惡 直到我可以 把人類的臉貼在這裡 媽 爸爸 有人偷走了 我的Malibu的迪士尼系列 March Lisa沒有人類的臉嗎? 是的 她在哭 這就好 沒有人敢碰我的小女孩 我會找到那些人 你會打電話給他們嗎? 不 忘了 他們沒辦法捉到 酷蒂 和 酷蒂 捉到的東西 你看 如果你沒有安裝Millhouse 很難 我喜歡這個孩子 嗯 好了 我準備了一個 我的主要嫌犯的圖案 看看 爸爸 那是Bart 沒錯 你看他 在那裡 吃著那個蘋果 他在做什麼? 什麼? 我們應該找點線索 沒錯 這是什麼? 一隻貓 來自 酷蒂 你賣頭髮嗎? 對 給人們嗎? 也許 有頭髮的人 有時候 兄弟 我需要一隻新的頭髮 嗯 你偷了 我女兒的頭髮嗎? 嗯 Yo, empty the register, dude. Okay, okay, you are the boss. Silent alarm activated! Oh, that's it! No, oh, no cops in sight. If I'm gonna save that clerk, I'm gonna have to take the law into my own hands again. Geez! Oh, that's muy picante! Oh, Omar, you are so brave. If anyone deserves to take a penny, it is you. Oh, well, hey. Hmm, oh, no. Come on, come on, there's only one in there. You know, I've had a lot of jobs. Boxer, ascot, astronaut, imitation trustee, baby proofer, trucker, hippie, cloud driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carny, mayor, grifter, bodyguard for the mayor, country western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventor, smithers, booty, celebrity assistant, power plant worker, fortune cookie writer, beer baron, quickie, mark clerk, homophobe, and missionary. But protecting Springfield, that gives me the best feeling of... If you like protecting people, you can make that your job. You know, start a security company. Finally, a way to combine my love of helping people with my love of hurting people. Well, I'm starting my own private police force. Will you join me? Well, who would my partner be? How about Lenny? Him? No way. You'll do as I say or I'll have your badges. Once I make and give you your badges. Flanders, I was able to find your missing leaf blower, belt sander, and morning newspaper. Well, nice work, Inspector Findit. Did you catch the thief? Who said it was a he? Well, I sure didn't. Who said you did? Nobody. Wrong answer. Let's go. Oakley, Oakley. You're pushing your luck, pal. Here's my commercial. Is this you? If it is, don't dial 911. Simply dial 636-555-3472. Help me, Springfield. Have no fear. Springfield's present. Thank you, Springfield. Friend? The only friend you need is Springfield. Monster put in wallet. That commercial is very effective. You know, the old lady's department was actually Lenny. We just used a different duvet cover. Well, they're both lovely. How'd you get so big and strong? Green vegetables and homework. Aw, shucks. Hey, Officer Homer, you look hungry. I'll shine you up a nice big pizza. Wow, look at Dad. People really respect him. Hold your heads up, my kids. I didn't know my chin went that far up. Oh, yeah. That's the pride. Homie, to honor Springfield's newest hero, I made you your favorite dinner. All three courses are dessert. Even dessert? Dessert is three desserts. Huh? Mr. Mayor, you've been unflinching in your support of Chief Wiggum. Yes, I still believe in our duly appointed police force. Behind these doors are the finest cops ever to wriggle into size 46 pants. Wiggum. Am I getting warmer? Clancy, you're a disgrace. And in my blind rage, I hereby turn over all this town's police duties to Homer Simpson and Springfield. Woo-hoo! I'm chief of police! Police? Uh-oh. Oh, wait. Better the other way. I'm gonna make a lot of changes around here. First, I'm gonna cut overhead by freeing Otis, the lovable town drunk. You can let me go, but I'll just keep exposing myself at the mall. What a character. Cool. A lie detector. Lisa is a dork. Dad, make him stop. According to this, he's telling the truth. Hurry up, boys. We gotta get these toy poodles to the pet shop. All right, Pet Tony. Your little game is over. Hey, how'd you find us? One of these ferrets is wearing a wine. You're not a pet, and you're not a friend. You're nothing to me. With this latest arrest, Springfield is now free of crime, although overrun with ferrets. Happy days, people. Truly happy days. Daddy, how come you're not at work? I don't know. How come you're not at school? My teacher says she's tired of drawing. Yeah, well, so am I, Ralphie. So am I. Hey, it's Bill and Marty on the line right now with Springfield's very own Fat Tony. I wish to announce that my associates and I will gun down Homer Simpson if he has not left town by noon tomorrow. Wow, that's quite a threat. Do you have a song request? Radar, no. That duck thinks he can run me out of town. Oh, man, I love this song. I've been driving all night and it's wet on the wheels. Do, do, do, do, do. There's a voice in my head that drives my heels. Do, do, do, do, do. It's my baby calling on the telephone. Do, do, do, do, do. I got some pizza and I'm bringing it home. Do, do, do, do, do. You all know me. I've kept the streets safe for you and your children. I've tricked or treated at many of your houses. Last year, I was Yard Yard Bing. Now who will stand and fight with me? I'm with you, Homer. Shut up, Landers. Anyone else? What about you, Dr. Hibbert? Oh, um, well, I'd love to help you, Homer. But I have too darn much to live for. I just discovered typhoon. I'd help you, but I have yet to kiss a human girl. And I've got a TiVo full of unwashed garb and gray. Sorry, Homer. I'm a coward now, like all recovering alcoholics. After everything I did, you're going to abandon me? Homer, please. Why don't you just leave town? What? And let them come after you and the kids? We could come with you. In one car? With no air conditioning? And the little poop machine going every 20 minutes? Guys, to help me, why don't you lock yourselves in? Hey, why does anyone do anything? The point is what's done is done. Joyzie Muscle. It's so good to see you. Did you have a nice flight, shiny tight lips? I ain't say nothing. I understand. How is your mother? Oh, wait. Who says I have a mother? Very well. Let's do this thing. Is your husband at home? Tony, how can you do this? Sorry. But this is the business we've chosen. But you're just perpetuating a negative Italian-American stereotype. I mean, you could be a pizza man, organ grinder, leaning tower maker, and... Did I say pizza man? You are listing my broken dreams. I don't get it. I finally did a job where I wasn't lazy, stupid or corrupt. And I'm gonna get killed for it. The last word, Simpson. Yeah. You can kill me, but someone will take my place. And if you kill him, someone will take his place. And that's pretty much the end of it. The town will be yours. All right. Let's do it. Dibs on the crack. He's got backup. Somebody does care. Johnny Tightlips, can you see the shooter? I see a lot of things. You know, you could be a little more helpful. Honey, I'm so glad you're alive. Yeah, but this town doesn't deserve me. I'm giving this badge to the next guy I see. That's funny, 'cause this is how I got the job the first time. I'm so glad this all worked out. Thanks for saving my husband, Chief. Hey, I didn't shoot anybody. They took my gun, they took my badge. Hell, they would've taken my squad car if I hadn't hid it under some hay. Well, then, who shot all the gangsters? They must have a guardian angel with a rifle. Time to check in on our little sweetie pie. She's taking a nap. Yeah. Probably dreaming about the time she shot Mr. Burns. She's just like Clark Kent. When there's lots of excitement, she's nowhere to be found. Nighty-night, sweetie.