Crowd Can’t Stop Laughing at Jessy Kirson’s Comedy bits #121

You guys are cuddling. That's so disgusting. How long have you guys been cuddling? Almost five years. Oh, okay. Where did you meet? During COVID. During COVID! Oh my God. I just thought of my father throwing a lamp at me. And then he asked me to fix it, because he's a Jewish father. He didn't fix anything and I was a jerk. God, I hate myself. So, I love that you whispered, Grinder, and then he screamed it. Are you the quiet one? Sometimes. Are you high? You're a lightweight? What are you trying to say? I'm a heavyweight? Are you judging me? Dad? Alright, so, I do those developments in Florida, those 55 and over developments, and they have other programs going on. And one of the things they had going on was sex and intimacy in your elder years. And I was like, that's good. You know, that's a great program for these people. But I looked at the brochure, I copied down the different subjects that they go over and the different classes they have, and I wanted to read it to you guys. Do you guys want to hear it? It made me emotional. I think you guys are really going to get emotional from this. It's really beautiful. Getting to know each other again. Isn't that beautiful? Yeah, I know, I really... Simple stretches for intimacy. That's nice. You know, I think these people need to stretch before they... Assisted sex. The do's and don'ts of bringing your aide into the bedroom. That's... That's important. Like... How to remember your partner's name. That's... I wouldn't want someone to forget my name. How to be intimate while the Middle East is in crisis. I think it's really... Yeah. Elderly abuse. S&M in your 80s. I would go to that. Finding the clit when you can't find your keys. This is... I would run to that one because I'm always losing things. This one is very important for the gay men and the straight women in the crowd. I mean, you guys would definitely take this. You would never want to forget how to do this. Deep throating with dementia. This is... And I mean, you would... Thank you. What was the last boyfriend you had? I'm in a relationship. Where is he? You are straight. Where is he? Where does he work? He's a firefighter. Oh, okay. That's great. Where did you guys meet? A fire? Was he just... Oh, she's hot! Is he a tough, you know... No. Really? He's just... Very gentle? Is that... We have a fire. I'm gonna save John. I had a threesome once. This is true. Isn't that hot? Yeah, I did. It was crazy. Yeah, it was amazing because I have ADD and I was very confused and overwhelmed. There were so many... and holes. I... I felt like I was playing whack-a-mole. I was just... swinging my hands around like, what is going on? I ended up giving myself a hickey. It was un... I was smacking my own... asking myself if I liked it. Do you like it? What? It's me. Who? Who's on third? You know, it was so... I choked myself and... I ended up blacking out. I woke up two hours later. The two women had left. My watch was missing and I was covered in Cool Whip. I was covered in Cool Whip! Do you have a backpack on? A harness? So hot. I know, look at the gay man. Oh, it's a harness! You're both wearing a harness? Wow, that's so hot. Are you a couple? Wow. So, what's happening that you're both wearing a harness? Because I know a lot but I don't know... Trust me. And nothing... nothing fazes me. Where are you from? Oh! I'm Polish. Did your whole family die too? What do you do? I'm a stay-at-home dad. You're a stay-at-home dad? You had a four-year-old with a lesbian? Wow, I thought my life was hard. Did she impregnate you? They always want to hear the same stories and lately it's been Cinderella. Some of you know this if you have kids. And it's, I'm like, I'm so sick of telling the story of Cinderella. I've been telling it for literally like a month and a half. I'm like, can we sing another story now? I want to hear Cinderella. I only want to hear Cinderella. Cinderella. I'm like, okay, this b**** wasn't invited to a party. She went there and she f***ed a guy and she left a shoe. He came to find her and they f***ed forever. Now we're gonna do Beauty and the Beast! This is good. There's some gay men up front. How you guys doing? You sore? So, how are you sore? Where'd you guys meet? Tinder. Okay, cool. So it went well the first night? You're so attentive. Like you're dying to talk to me. You were dying to sit up front, weren't you? What do you want to tell me? Like, what do you want to talk to me about? Because people want to sit up front. In Rochester. Oh, you weren't up front in Rochester. So is there anything you want to talk to me about? Do you want me to ask you something? You'll answer anything. Okay, are you the top or the bottom or both? I can't hear. I'm curious. I'm the top, but I don't want to be sometimes. You know what I'm saying? Because I'm so lazy. You're the bottom. Okay. You don't want a bottom? Well, I understand. You know, you're gassy. It's... Messy. Yeah. You want a what? Chili. You want to eat chili? He goes, I want to eat chili. I don't want a bottom. I want to eat chili is one of the funniest things. What do you do? You're a dog trainer. Oh my God, that's hot. All right, so... What's the craziest thing you've dealt with? You had to teach a dog to stay in its bed while the couple was being intimate. You had to have the dog get into their bed while they're having sex? I'll make it more interesting. What? Is a mock set up? People are out of their minds. But at least you don't have to teach the dog to stay in the bed while they're having sex. That would have been abusive. Especially if they sucked at having sex. Can you imagine if you had to be like have the dog stay in the bed and then watch them have sex? You don't get paid enough for that? That would have been interesting though, wouldn't it? Especially if the sex was hot. Most people don't have hot sex. I want someone to kill me in bed at this point. I want someone to literally kill me. Like smash my head into the wall and tell me I'll never make it. Okay, are you as drunk as they are? Yes. Okay, perfect. What do you do? Okay. Just look at this guy. He's on a day pass, the guy in the corner. Alright, and what do you do? You work for what? A school system? I work for a school system. What does that mean? What do you do for the school system? I've never heard that. I work for a school system. You what? Testing? Who do you test? What? My students. Your students? Boy, this is sounding perverted. What do you mean you test them? What do you do to these children? You're the top. You just answered for him. Are you the top? Am I right? Do you pound his a**? This is going to get darker because you guys are giving me a lot of... That's so hot. Do you pound him? I'm so horny right now. When I'm full, I get horny. Is that weird? Do you get horny when you eat a lot? I'm going to rub one out in the hotel room before... before I blow it up. I'm going to rub one out. Are you guys a couple? You are? You look unsure. Are you sure you're a couple? You guys are so drunk. Alright, so... How long have you been together? Six years. Okay. Where did you meet? At a party. Oh, wow. Who had a party? Jeff and Derek. Okay. Wow. He's dying laughing right now. What do you do? What do I do? I'm a teacher. A teacher. Wow, you just started talking really fast. Are you on crack too or just the wine? Just wine. You don't do any other drugs? No? You just thought about it. You're such a f***ing liar. You went... If you don't do other drugs, you don't think about it first. What do you do? All of the above. Are you okay? See, that was a crazy answer. I just said, what do you do? And you said, all of the above. So you're a janitor and an airplane attendant? Okay. I feel like I could be like, where are you from? And you'll be like, I like feta cheese. All right. Let me talk to the other two idiots next to you. How long have you guys been doing a**hole? How long has it been? I'm sorry. I'm just assuming that's what you do. Six years. Six years, okay. What were you just discussing? Oh, oh, you were really discussing the a**hole part. I didn't... Wow. I was really just kidding. You're like, well, we didn't get into the a**hole until two years in. I didn't, I didn't really want to know. It's okay. You're so adorable. Oh my God. You're like, about seven months in, I pounded him. I didn't... He finally opened up to me. Literally. He finally... And what do you do? Bottom. I'm sorry. I know, I know. You're versatile. I understand.