When Jessica Kirson Takes Over the Crowd - Absolute Comedy Masterclass Happens #124

Are you guys a couple? No? You're straight? I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm straight, Jesse. No, you're not like that at all. You're so accepting. You're a good person. Yeah. Yeah. I'm very secure. Yeah. Yeah. I like playing. Yeah. Yeah. Baseball. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Um, I'm joking. No, you're so, you're so cool with your sex. I can tell. You're not uncomfortable at all. What's your name? Barry. I thought it was Shlomo. Um, where are you from? You're so Jewish. Am I right? Yeah. I can tell you look anxious. All right. So, all right. Um, where are you from? Brooklyn or Israel? Where are you from? Yonkers. All right. Some people aren't laughing. Do you know how funny this is? I'm like, yeah. I love that you have a shirt that says Dolly. That's Dolly. Yeah. A couple too. No, no. I'm available. My is wide open. It's so cute. What do you do, sweetie? No, you with the glasses. What do you do? Oh my God. You're both wearing glasses. What do you both do? What do you do? You're an accountant. That's interesting. Okay. And what do you do? A sales manager for an Israeli company. Yeah. Jew. All right. So what, what, what kind of Israeli company? What do they, what do you sell? Video, video, video. Really? Are you serious? Oh, that would have been so much more interesting. What's more interesting than Jewish? Stick it in me. She more feels so good. Hot, hot. I'm about to come. You guys are amazing. I love that you're lounging on him with the Gucci shirt and the chains. You're amazing. Love it. You guys are a hot couple. How long have you been together? Oh, that's why it's so good. Six months. So hot. Where did you guys meet the reptile hood? That's a great bar in town. It's really bumble. Yeah, that's great. What do you do, sweetie? You're so cute. A real estate team leader. Yeah, team go. I just pulled something in my leg. I'm in so much pain. You guys are great. I'm going to do a body dive into all four of you. Catch me like the Romans did. Hi. Oh my God. There's so many empty tables in the front. This is the first time that's ever happened. I think people chickened out. Wow. This is amazing. The two of you are by yourselves. This never happens. Oh my God. Does anyone want to come sit up front? Hi. I love that. She just sat up front. See, some people might come sit up front. Thank you for doing that. Hi. Hi. Oh, all the lesbians came see my sisters. My sisters came to support me. This is like one softball game. See? Oh, I love it. Thank you, girls. Thank you. We'll scissor after the show. Thank you so much. Oh, look at this. Now the gay guys are coming. Happy Pride. We have to stick together. This is amazing. Okay, where are the transgender people? You got the whole flag. I know. Thank you so much. Yeah, there's a lot more to the flag now. I don't even know what's happening with the flag. I'm very confused. I mean, I accept everything, but there's a lot of letters, and I don't even know what they mean at this point, but I accept everything. There's an I and an A. I don't know what's happening. I identify as anxious. I just want to say that. Where did you guys meet? Powerlifting. Powerlifting? I love that. Powerlifting. We met powerlifting. You just went, hey, you're really pretty. That is so ... Wait, I'm talking to them. Oh, you know her? That's your first girlfriend? This is so lesbian. Wait, don't walk away. This is such a lesbian experience right now. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Don't walk away. Do you work here? Yeah. This is amazing. When did you guys date? Sophomore year. Sophomore year. So it was like a college thing? High school. High school. Oh, my God. Yeah, go on. Isn't that hot? Do you have a girlfriend right now? I have a boyfriend. You have a boyfriend? Oh, my God. You're switched. You're a cheater. She's crawling away. Where'd you guys meet? Law school. Law school. Oh, wow. What kind of lawyer are you? Civil rights. Civil rights. That's amazing. It's going really well in this country. Everything's going really, yeah, really working. Whatever everyone's doing is really working. I feel like we're really moving forward. Are you able to help anyone at this point? I mean, are you winning any cases? Because ... Kind of? Okay. Cool. And what do you do? Voting rights. Voting rights. Again, have you been able to get anything done? Because you won Alabama. Okay, good. Thank you so much for your help. Because I feel like we're all going to die in the next week. So I'm glad something good is happening. You guys aren't a couple, right? Your husband's back there. How come he's sitting back there and you're sitting up here? Does he not like me? He didn't want to book the tickets? What do you mean? It's okay. Wait, what do you mean? I just have to know. He didn't want to come? I've heard that before. He's Canadian? I have no idea what that has to do with anything, but you're so adorable. I drive a Lincoln Nautilus. Okay, so I feel like we're just saying random ---- here. I pretend wheat bread is not bread. Okay. I love your beard, sir. It's reminding me I have to shave. How are you tonight? It's a lot. Are you Amish? What's happening? Or just lazy? Are you depressed? Well, your head is perfectly shaved. What's with the beard? I like the beard. I wish I could have one, to be honest with you. What's your name? Spencer. I did not expect that. Okay, Spencer, what do you do? Work at Spencer's? Okay, what do you do? God, I hate this career. What do you do? Personal trainer. Okay, wow. All right. I hate personal trainers. I just have to tell you, I have one right now. His chest looks like a challah. Every time he works me out, I'm hungry. He's like, you ready to do some pushups? I'm like, I'm ready to kill you. To be honest with you, I've wanted to kill you since the day I met you. What's your name in the glasses? I'm Ginger. Wow, I'm Lemon. That's such a great name. What do you do, Ginger? A curl specialist. Wow, I need help with my hair. My hair's a mess. Ginger, will you help me? So every morning I put my head in a blender. Is that a good idea? Should I not do that? I just stick my head in a blender. It's true, I do. You want to do it sometime? And what do you do? I know, I'm sorry. You don't work? Really? That's good. You're a freelance web designer. You're in the middle of a transition? Okay. Really? You're very early in the process. Are you on medication already? Can you imagine if all of a sudden she's like, no, I'm not. I'm not early in the process. Like all of a sudden the meds kick in. Okay, you're cute. What's your name? Tyler? Chad? Jared? Okay, so. I knew it was something like that. My name's Jared. What's up? I love your crowd work. I watch it on TikTok. I think you're really cool. He's saying yes. What's your question, bitch? Come on, I'm ready for it. Are you in school? I love that you're wiping away tears. No, I don't go to school. I just go off and play video games. He just said, I feel like you're doing a palm reading. He's wiping away tears laughing. Are you guys in that relationship? He's your brother. Well, I'm in Utah. All right, so. What's up, man? Cool. What do you do? Yeah. Why? You make sweaters? You make personalized sweaters? Cool. What kind of sweaters? Like for sports? Yeah. Long Island or Queens? Queens too? Brooklyn and the Bronx? Just Queens. You'll cut it there. Why? You can make more money if you go into other boroughs. How about Staten Island? I ******* love you. What's your name? Moshe? Are you Jewish? Most Jews aren't like, I don't know what's going on. It's weird you talk like that. You want to go to temple on Saturday? I've never heard a Jew talk the way you're talking. I own a sweater business. Where are we going to have Passover dinner? Happy Rosh Hashanah.