Thanksgiving Is a Time to Cherish Life’s Blessings and Trials: Psychologist

As we look ahead to Thanksgiving, it's a great time to pause and think about the tradition of giving thanks. Joining us for insight is Dr. Dale Atkins, a psychologist and the author of the fourthcoming Hi. Good to have you with us today, uh, Dr. Atkins. >> Thank you, Steph. It's lovely to see you again. I'm happy to be with you and wish you a happy Thanksgiving. >> Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you so much. And I want to also talk about your forthcoming ch illustrated children's book that's coming out. We'll start with Thanksgiving though first. Um I want to as I mentioned talk about the tradition itself and how important it is to carve out time and to give and show gratitude. It's so important and it's one of the holidays, one of the few holidays that really invites us to come together in an intergenerational setting to be nourished to sit around a table and to really pause and think about what makes our life good. We can think about what we're grateful for and we can actually focus on what's working, what's beautiful, what's supportive in our lives so that we are giving thanks for everything in our lives. And when we're in an integr intergenerational setting, we can hear what older people are grateful for, what younger people are grateful for, and it really actually all of that helps us to reduce stress. >> Yes. It's a time of being together and that adds so much power to it I think and um as you mentioned there's so many things to be grateful for. Um people express gratitude to God, to family, to friends. What are some things people can do to show gratitude on this holiday? >> One of the things that people can do is to acknowledge someone that they're with and express why they appreciate them. to give words to a feeling and it can be, you know, thank you for working so hard on this meal or thank you for inviting us all to be together and also it can work in reverse. You just talked about the weather report, you know, thank you for making the effort to come through the storm in order to get here. I also think that we can use it as a time particularly to help children maybe sort through their toys and say, you know, this is still in really good shape, but you've played with it a lot. Perhaps another child might like to use it or to go through clothes or to take time out of the day. Many people do this and not only offer food to a soup kitchen or food kitchen, but also to serve themselves and to do something for other people for the community and also just understand that we have a lot to be grateful for. Sometimes we need to articulate it so that our mind resets and doesn't only go to the things that are scarce, but rather the things that we have in our life that are great that we're grateful for. >> That's it. Just speaking it out can really help shift your perspective. And that's a big part of just pausing and and doing it. Perhaps the reason the tradition has kept on. But holidays can be triggering for some people. How do you suggest they might use the challenges that they're encountering to to help heal that and stay focused on gratitude? >> Well, it's a very busy time and I think that one of the things that we try to do is make everything perfect. So, if we can retreat from that goal and notice what's here and be grateful for what we have and who is at the table and who is important in our lives and say this is enough. and taking a pause, taking some breaths, perhaps saying a prayer, and just noticing what's around us, noticing the beautiful trees, the be the beautiful sky, and even if it's not the sky you wanted, a big blue sky with puffy clouds, notice what is and reflect on that. I think that calming ourselves throughout the time of busyness in little increments is very very helpful because otherwise we build up stress and one of the wonderful things about gratitude is as I said before it helps reduce stress. It helps to res re to reduce low and lower blood pressure. It helps us sleep better. One of the things that many people do and find useful is to take a gratitude journal to write in a gratitude journal and to write down two or three two or three things they're grateful for both in the morning and in the evening. And I think that's really an important thing to do and to encourage children to do that. To encourage children to notice when people have helped them and to not only thank them with words, but to recognize how it made them feel when they did something nice for someone and when someone did something nice for them to help them. someone who might have helped them solve a problem, someone who fixed their bike, someone who read a story to them. These are the things that we can be grateful for, the everyday little things. And when they build up, we actually start to feel better and we look at things through a more grateful lens. >> Doesn't only have to be on one day. Um, and that's the way to do it. It's perfect. Sounds um so nourishing. Now, speaking about this this importance of family and cherishing that, I I know you have an illustrated children's book coming out next month about the or in January about the beautiful bond between a grandmother and her granddaughter which I believe draws on your own experiences of family and gratitude. If you could tell us more about that. >> Well, I'd love to. It's called the turquoise butterfly and I appreciate that you mentioned it. It has to do with kindness. It has to do with patience. It's a story about a grandmother who's very audacious and very adventurous and her granddaughter who's a little bit more hesitant and a little bit more anxious and how they enjoy one another when they have a time once a year they have a week together and they do all kinds of things and over time we see how caregiving takes takes over. First the mother grandmother is kind of caring for the little girl and then the little girl starts to care for her grandmother and we are grateful for one another. They are grateful for each other and they are grateful for this butterfly that they see and to study butterflies because it's all about transformation and it's all about getting into difficult positions but being able to get out of them and that we can be grateful for the difficulties as well as for the transformation and what happens after we get through the difficult times even when a person is no longer with us that we can remember them that we can talk about them that we have such gratitude that the people in our lives are in our lives and were in our lives and we have gratitude for what they gave us and how we move forward and live a life recognizing them. There is so much to be gained from recognizing what gratitude is and how it can really enhance each of our lives. >> It really is a beautiful message and it really is a beautiful book. Um the turquoise butterfly. Yes. Um, get get your copy, folks. Where can people find find the book when it comes out or pre-order? >> Pre-order it. Yes, they can pre-order it online on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, uh, in their local bookstore, and it will be delivered sometime between now and January 6th, which is when it officially comes out. And um, they can also order it by going to my website, which is www.dale.com. >> Wonderful. Oh, well, it's been very nourishing to speak with you today as always. Thank you so much and happy Thanksgiving to you, Dr. Dale Atkins, and to you. Thank you, Steph.