Be Confident! How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs

Words can really scar us. And if you're surrounded by people who are constantly scarring you, you're not gonna thrive in life. I got out of my comfort zone and I wasn't afraid to be the idiot. Because I'd be the bigger idiot if I didn't put a bet on myself and tried. Welcome to Adulting with Joyce Spring. Watch the full video of this episode on my channel, www.youtube.com slash JoyceSpringTV. And if you want to level up your adulting game, What's up you guys? And welcome to another episode of Adulting with Joyce Spring. Hi, it's me. I'm Joyce. And today, we're gonna be talking about confidence. I feel like an imposter talking about this. Because I don't think I'm a very confident person. I feel like I'm just constantly trying to wing things and pretend like I'm confident. But maybe, maybe that's the secret to being confident. It's just fake it till you make it. But confidence really is a huge part. It's a significant role in various aspects of our lives. From personal relationships to career success. And this is honestly one of the most important skill sets that we need to hone if you want to be successful in your career. It's to carry yourself with confidence. Not ego, not narcissism, but the self-respect and confidence that transcends just your outfit or your look or your whatever, you know, is written on your diploma. But really, it's just confidence in who you are and what you can bring to the table. So we'll talk about the ways we can boost our self-confidence and our self-esteem on this episode. So first point is recognizing and embracing your strengths, your talents, but also your weaknesses and the challenges that you face. So I really think that self-awareness is the first step to becoming more confident. The moment that you realize that it is okay to be who you are with all of your strengths, with all of your natural talents, really recognizing that. And also recognizing all of the challenges that you face, all of the weaknesses that you have, all of the things that you need to improve on. When you can sit with yourself, write those things down where you can see it and really just accept that, I think that's the first step to being self-confident. Because the reason why I think most of us are not as confident and successful in where we want to be is because of the fact that we're constantly running from who we are. We're constantly running from how we actually are. Like if you're actually a shy person, if you're actually an introverted person, stop listening to people who say you should be more extroverted. Find a way to embrace your being introverted and make that work for you. I believe in that. If you think that there are certain things in your life that you are very good at, I know that one of my natural talents is communication. So my entire life has just been learning how to hone that natural talent that God has given me so that I can use it to the best of my abilities. But I also know that my weakness, for example, is following instructions. So I'm not very good at following instructions. So I ask other people, I ask for help from other people to do that for me. So by acknowledging your strengths and your weaknesses and embracing them, then you can eventually grow and be a better person. So that's the first point. Our next point is self-care. I used to think that self-care is selfish. I honestly did. And I thought, I really honestly thought for a little while, for just a short little while, that self-care wasn't Christian. In the sense that, you know, we should always be selfless. We should be selfless. That we're constantly just serving. We're just constantly giving ourselves. That's it. That's how we should be thinking. But you know what I realized? Self-care doesn't have to be selfish. Self-care is another essential aspect of being self-confident and building self-confidence because taking care of your physical and your mental well-being can greatly contribute to how we feel about ourselves, but also how we serve and how we love those around us. If you try to make it a priority to engage in activities that promote self-care, just like getting enough sleep, exercising, eating properly, you know, practicing mindfulness and praying. These are some of the practices that will really help you be more present and be more available to serve those around you. Now, when I say self-care, I don't mean selfishness. I don't mean always putting your needs first because sometimes life calls us to be more selfless and to serve and sacrifice more than we take care of ourselves. But I do believe that it should be in our priority list to make sure that we are being watered and fueled daily. What does that look like? Not just the physical stuff. It also means that you think about the stuff that you're consuming online, the books that you're reading, the kinds of friends that you're surrounding yourself with. Do you have a small group that you stay accountable to? Do you have a close friend that you stay accountable to? Think about all of these things that also affect who you are as a human being. If you have nobody discipling you and taking care of your soul and your heart and your spirit, how do you expect yourself to take care of another person's soul and heart and spirit? Granted, you can take care of yourself. Of course, we're not taking that away from you. But mentorship and learning from others apart from you is so important as well. Be watered so that you can overflow and bless others as well. Point number three, setting achievable goals. I recently read this book called Atomic Habits. And I know I'm late to the train, but I love this point that he made in the book where he said, you do not have to be like 100% better kaagad the next day. You can aim for 1% better every single day. So by making your goal achievable, not only do you get that instant gratification that every human being wants, but also you move towards progress instead of just perfection. What does that look like? If you want to start journaling, it's hard to keep an entire page journal every single day. So you can start with one liner, just the one line of how your day went. Like one thing that you want to say, and then end there instead of trying to finish the entire page or trying to write more. By making your goals achievable and tiny, it makes it easier for you to really feel that feeling of fulfillment. I was able to do it because the bar was so low. So by making it that, you're still going towards the direction of progress and you're not just staying stagnant. What does that also look like? Five minutes of movement, five minutes of walking or Pilates or doing a workout online is still better than zero. Five minutes of writing is still better than zero. Five minutes of doing devotion is still better than zero. Five minutes of being prayerful and meditating is still better than zero. So practice that. Set achievable goals that you can actually really get into every single day. That's better than trying to get from zero to 100 real quick. Another point under this is to break things down into manageable steps and track your progress along the way. So how do you eat an elephant? You eat it piece by piece. That's how the saying goes, right? So when something is so gargantuan that it overwhelms you, stop looking at the gargantuan thing and just break it into small manageable tasks that you can then slowly, slowly achieve. Number four, be mindful of your support system and the people that you surround yourself with. Let us surround ourselves with positive and supportive people that can have tremendous impact on our self-confidence. I tell you, the way that people speak around you and to you and about you will greatly affect your self-confidence. If you're constantly surrounded by people who say, Oh, you're not smart. You can't achieve anything. What's wrong with you? This is all you can do. My goodness, how do you expect yourself to go beyond what you are already right now? I remember when I was in high school, I will never forget this dude. He has scarred me for the rest of my life. But I remember he said to me, I feel like I said it before, Oh, I want to be a singer like that. Because music was my number one thing then. And he complained to my face. You know, your face is too plain. You won't achieve anything. You're not that pretty. And to this day, I carry that with a heavy burden in my heart. That your face is just plain. You're not that pretty. You're really not pretty. What are you? He said it in a more curt way that I can't recreate. But he said it that, And I was in high school this time. Imagine, I'm 30 now with a very handsome husband and two beautiful kids. And still to this day, I remember him telling me that, Because your face is too plain. And I realized that words can really scar us. And if you're surrounded by people who are constantly scarring you, you're not going to thrive in life. I'm not saying cut them off because I do believe in the grace to help people become better people. You know, if they're horrible, please be that person that tells them, Hey, you can be a better human being than just be mean, okay? You should be a kinder person. Be that person. Don't just cut people off. I really believe that you have to surround yourself with life-giving people. What does this look like? My best friend since I was nine years old, Faith Benitez, I'm going to shout you out because you are the best human being in the entire world, has always believed in me. She has always been a life-giving person. And she's like this. When I was in grade school and I would sing and I would doubt myself because I have a lower voice. Like, my voice register is low. She told me, You know, you don't have to be a baritone. You have a beautiful voice. When I heard that on the radio, I knew it was you because it's very distinct. That's how she is. Or she always tells me, just a normal set-up, she would tell me that I'm too smart. You don't know these kinds of jokes. It's like a joke. But she's life-giving, right? So you think I'm smart? Like that. Or she always tells me when I mispronounce one word, like perfect. When I say perfect, she'll say, Oh, you made a mistake. Like that, like that, like that. So, perfect, perfect, like that. Then she'll say, Sometimes you make mistakes. I'll tell you. So imagine being surrounded by a person like that who believes in you so much that even your mistakes, they use to kind of encourage you as well. That's the kind of people that you should be with. Even one of my best friends, also Hannah, my best friend in New York, she would always encourage me. She would always say beautiful, encouraging things to me. That's the kind of people that you need in your life. For the seasons that you don't believe in yourself, you have to have people that do. Number five, stepping out of your comfort zone. Challenging ourselves and stepping out of our comfort zone can be intimidating but it's also an excellent way to boost our self-confidence. Here is my story of how I became a race car driver. I started hosting for Toyota in 2015 and when they were starting Vios Cup, I was just the host. So I would host the races, their award ceremonies and other stuff that would go on during the race day. After a few months, the bosses in Toyota were like, you know, you're an influencer, you're a quote-unquote celebrity, can you be one of our celebrity drivers? And I was like, sure, let's do it. Let's go. I was 22 years old. Cut to, they enroll you to race school before you actually race cars in Toyota Vios Cup. And our instructor at that time, JP Tuazon, God bless him, we were all sitting in this classroom and he goes, guys, racing is pretty easy. It's more like a mind game, you know? There's only one thing that you need to know, which is to drive stick or to drive manual. Your girl did not know how to drive manual. I had no idea. And we were already in the racetrack at this time. So their classes are in one of the rooms near the racetrack. So after the discussion in the classroom, you then have to go down into the racetrack, into your cars, and start doing slalom practices and other things. They needed to teach me how to drive stick shift on that day itself. So I was already at the parking side while my other classmates were already at the racetrack. They were already trying slalom. And they were just teaching me how to drive manual. Ending, because I just wanted to be able to do this, I wanted to get out of my comfort zone. I wanted to try something that I had no idea how to do. I borrowed a car. I borrowed two different cars for like a couple of months. And I started driving stick in Manila. I was so scared that I'd hit the back of the car. So I unbraked it. Then I opened it again. Then I accelerated before I released the handbrake again so I wouldn't hit the back of the car. Crazy. But guess what? I won. I was on the podium. I was even the driver of the day. I mean, that's the only way that you get out of your comfort zone. So what I'm trying to say is, I'm not saying that I'm good. What I'm trying to say is, I was an idiot once. But then I became an award-winning race car driver. Because you can do that too. If you're an idiot right now, take it from another idiot. You don't have to stay an idiot. You can get the chance to learn. You can be humble enough to say, yeah, I'm an idiot. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm willing to learn and I'm willing to try. And guess what? That's the most important thing that you need in life. It's not for you to be completely the most talented, the most interesting, or the most intelligent person in the room. No. You just have to be the grittiest person in the room. You just have to want it more than anybody else. Because trust me, I have always been in rooms where people were prettier than me, more talented, had better backgrounds, had more money, had more skill sets, had everything laid out for them better than I did. But by God's grace, the Lord gave me opportunities to get out of my comfort zone and I answered that calling. I got out of my comfort zone and I wasn't afraid to be the idiot because I'd be the bigger idiot if I didn't put a bet on myself and tried. Because what am I going to lose, right? And finally, I would say that the biggest way for you to be self-confident is to not be self-confident. Hear me out. Confidence lies in who you are. But who you are will not always be stable. For me, for you to be able to be confident, you have to have God-confidence. You have to have confidence in who God has made you to be. I always say that the starting point that I have is that every human being is made in the image of God. We are made in the imago Dei. So that means that we have intrinsic value. We have value no matter what our history is, what are our weaknesses, what are our strengths. The starting point of your life and your value as a person is that you are made in the image of God and that God has promised in His Word that He has plans for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. That all things work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. So instead of constantly doubting yourself and saying, I can't do this. I'm not like this. Why don't you shift your perspective from self-confidence to God-confidence and understand that God has made me in His image, one. God has called me into a purposeful life, two. And God has promised to never leave me nor forsake me as long as I seek after Him. Meaning, I can have the confidence to find a good support system. I can have the confidence to fail and try. I can have the confidence to embrace my strengths and my weaknesses. I can have the confidence to get out of my comfort zone because I know that even if I'm not stable and even if I'm not perfect, God is and I can always count on Him. So that's it, you guys. I hope that this episode encouraged you to have more confidence, joy, and hope in your life. And we are actually doing some incredible new projects with TELUS Life Academy. If you guys want to join us in life workshops, we're calling them workshops that will help you be more confident to learn about public speaking, to learn about content creation, you can follow TELUS Life Academy. But in the meantime, that's it for this episode of the podcast. We'll see you again soon. Paalam! That's it for this episode of Adulting with Joy Spring. If you liked this podcast, please don't forget to use the hashtag AdultingwithJoySpring and also check out www.joyspring.com for the show notes and tag me on social media with, you know it, at Joy Spring. I'll talk to you guys again soon. Paalam!