Stop Hiding Your Scalp - Comedian BT Kingsley - Crowd Work - Chocolate Sundaes Stand Up Comedy

I love your face. Don't come over here with that bullshit. Keep it pushing my boy. I ain't ******* with you bro. I see you got, you look like you doing good man. I ain't got ---- to say. You and your lady, neither one of y'all looked up at me. Y'all just looking like this. Y'all watching the show like it's a secret. I can see y'all baby. Y'all look good man. I feel like you own an independent rap label but you kind of sick of them niggas. That's how I feel. I feel like you believe in their talent but they don't work hard enough and you about tired of putting your money into these bitch ass niggas and you're gonna fire everybody on Tuesday. That's the energy I get from you sir. I don't know what you do but that's the vibe that I get. What do you do sir? If you don't mind me asking. You an engineer? Hell yeah educated ass rich nigga. Hell yeah. You an engineer nigga? Congratulations. Hey Asian people look at us. We got one too nigga. What up? What's up cool ass white dude? Coolest white dude ever. Used to who? In high school. You know what? I don't like your energy sir. You you said it like you like you could have went to the league but I don't want to go. It was like yeah yeah in high school I stopped doing that bullshit. I don't play games my boy. That's your energy like I don't play no motherfucking games. I'm an engineer at a hospital. What do you do bro? Hell yeah niggas getting money in this bitch. Well white people always be getting money but you know what the **** I'm talking about? White nigga getting money. You own a ******* construction company? Hell yeah. You be building ----? Uh high voltage? Oh low voltage. Good ---- man. Hell yeah y'all looking proud like this ----. I'm sorry other cool white dude I'm sorry because I see you discuss like I thought I was a cool white dude. He was like wait a minute who is this guy? You second cool white dude. He got you bro. He got you. He go to our barber so he beat you bro. Sorry man you gotta stop going to super cuts bro. It look good but look at this ---- bro. Look at this ************. This your first black girl? He done been through that goddamn ---- 19, 20 times. How many black women you been to? Is this the first one? Let me tell you why it was hilarious. I asked him. He did not answer. She answered before I could get the words out my mouth. I said is this your first black boy? She said no. He been doing his bullshit and met his ass at hot water cornbread. That nigga was in that bitch with them fans. Let me see where I go. You don't even want to look at me bro. I'm not gonna say ---- to you bro. You got your hairline doing your ----. I only like ******* with bald niggas. I didn't even know you was gonna be right there. DJ you got something. I didn't even know you was gonna be there. Why you got a hat on because you're bald nigga? Keep playing that ----. Why you got a hat? That's a bald head. That nigga say **** it man. You ain't ----. The nervous look on some of y'all faces. Y'all looking at your woman like bitch I wish you would. I will kill everybody in this ************ if you take my goddamn hat off. Why would he make that song? That's so fucked up. It's hilarious but it's fucked up. Ain't gonna make a song about me next week. Tight shirt, fat nigga, fat nigga. Why you don't never work out? Why you keep on eating wings fat nigga? This is the worst shape to be in because I'm this ******* close. No discipline. Nigga taco stays the best at ******* 3 a.m. I got two shows tonight nigga after the 11 45 show. After that show is over about two o'clock I'm gonna go get 12 wings and a steak and a chicken lasagna from Boston. I'm gonna stop at three different places. That's when you know you're doing fast ----. When you stop at multiple places that's when you know you got a ******* problem. You ever eat off your own chest? Y'all niggas don't know nothing about this life. You've been on your diet all week. You've been doing good. You pass a drive-thru. You didn't know it was open. You say well if it's open the lord wants me to have that. When you go home you lay in your bed. You put 40 nuggets on your chest and you put the sauces on. Y'all never did this before. You put the sauces on your stomach. You prop your head up so you can see the end of force when Tariq come back. You put the sauce and you dip off your own belly. You go barbecue buffalo honey mustard. That's pretty good right there. Honey mustard Polynesian ranch. **** them other sauces. Ranch ranch ranch. Ranch ranch ranch again. This is a dumb ass idea with this shirt. I thought I was gonna have a jacket on all night. Got hot soon as I got up here. How you doing bro? You shut ---- down at your meeting. You told them niggas you was off. I saw you texting. Trying to line that ---- up for tomorrow. He's like nigga **** this company. I gotta get money. It's engineer construction niggas in here. What'd you do bro? You a chilling ass lie. You rich nigga. You know what's funny about when niggas getting money? I can tell by your fabrics. I can look at your fabrics. I know what the **** you got going on son. They don't sell them jeans everywhere. You have to go into a special store with that little nigga at the front. Little Bloomingdale's. What'd he do ma'am? Is he doing well in life? She's like it don't matter you doing well. You know why? Because you's uh oh great job DJ. Fantastic. I hope you lose your hair too nigga. If I point to you I want to make fun of bald niggas. Do you understand the cues? This is going on until July. Oh yes. Programming it into your little ----. When I go like this you go. No, no, no. Scoot it up a little more. I want it right at. I want it right at. Yeah. It don't matter that you doing good nigga. Because you still a. Shout out to people of other races that's never heard that song before. You was like oh my god they make songs about everything. You're gonna be at work tomorrow like this ----. It's bald. You know. I can't wait you sir. You look like a side character from Seinfeld. I like the neighbor that don't get along with nobody. A little suit nazi cousin or some ----. Have you ever heard that song before? I know you haven't. You know it's funny when I was talking to everybody about getting money you was sitting there giggling to yourself. Like look at them. I could buy and sell the raggedy ass. That's the richest ---- you can say to somebody. You know I'll buy and sell your raggedy ass. Every time I feel like I'm doing better than somebody but they pissing me off that's what going to my ******* mind. I go to ******* Subway. Hey can I ask a little extra tuna on my tuna sandwich? Well you know that's extra. I'll buy and sell your raggedy ass. What do you do sir? I don't even know what that is. You sound good. What is AWS? Nigga say Amazon. Don't give me the stock code. What the **** you mean AWS? Amazon nigga. Say you deliver packages sir. It's real money in this bitch. I got an independent uh hospital engineer. I got a construction working bar nigga. I got a nigga that took his hat off. I got the cool ass used to be white dude. I got rich nigga. Why you say AWS like that?