Jess is Leaving - AGT Podcast

Hey guys, today's podcast is brought to you by SeatGeek. The one and only SeatGeek is go download the SeatGeek app right now and use my code NASH to get $20 off your first order. And my thanks to SeatGeek for sponsoring this podcast. Welcome to the show. Before we begin some stand up dates, I'll be in Levittown, New York, August 12th, Buffalo, New York, August 13th, Albany, October 7th, Hartford, October 8th, Nashville, October 21st, and Louisville, October 22nd. Come see me on tour. It's been going great. Joan is here. Joe is here. Jess is here. We've got big news. We've got lots to talk about. I might have skin cancer. Jonah wants to, wants to ask me if I ever swing. Joe is hot on OnlyFans, but the big news is that Jess is leaving me. That is what's happening. Did you hear it, Jonah? Have you heard through the grapevine yet? Jess is leaving. She's leaving. Yes. I can no longer afford Jess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm leaving. She looks like she's about to cry. Are you sure you want to cheer that up? No, I'm good. But aren't you sad I'm leaving? I'm acting like I'm leaving, like I'm moving country. I'm literally going to be around like every day. No, I'm sad. Why are you leaving? You know, finances. I just can't afford Jess anymore. It's just too much. I pay Ferris. I pay Jess. Jess, what are you going to do? I don't know. I'm actually kind of excited because I haven't been. Well, no, I am now. No, she should be. It's weird. Like when Jason told me, like, obviously it's sad, but like, um, I just feel like it's like time anyways. I feel like it was like, I've worked for you for now for like over two years and I'm 28 and I haven't been unemployed since I was like out of college. Right. And so I've just gone from like one job to the next and I don't know, I feel like I'm like excited now to like be able to do, like I started a clothing company, like, and I started it while I was at my like old, old job. And then I was still at, and then I'd had another job and then I had this job and I literally like never was able to give it like my full effort. I remember when you started here, I was like, I hope that clothing company doesn't get in the way. Right. And luckily we stuffed that dream. Yeah. I literally, I just put it on the back burner cause I just didn't have. Now I like have like, I can like actually like fully give my all to it and then also be more consistent with my streaming. So I'm just going to try that and then figure out what's next after that. Are you scared at all? I'm scared, but I think it's like, it just because it's like uncertainty, but like, I'm not, I wasn't like, it's sad, but I wasn't like super like depressed, sad, like, Oh my God, like what am I going to do? Like I'm, it's stressful cause it's like, I don't know what I'm going to do, but like I have options. But I feel like you've, you've like the last two years, you've, you weren't in this world before you're in like the traditional world and now you've met so many people in like, you know, how this world works. And like, I mean, what about Joe? Do you have something, what are you guys doing? Jonah is also vlogging while we podcast. Wait, wait, why are we vlogging this? We can vlog it. That's good. I mean, I'm not saying, Joe, can you hire Jess? No. No. And that's the thing though. I don't think, I don't think I want to like work for anyone else really in the group. I feel like, no, I was thinking about it. Well, just because like, yeah, we have a full on producer. We have an editor. Yeah. I'm definitely not working for Jonah. But, um, no, I'm just saying like the producer and the editor is the same person. Let's be clear. No, no, no. It's different. It's going to be different. He can't handle it. It's like 900 gigabytes of footage per vlog. Jesus. It's a whole ******* feature. Let's bring it back to Jess. No, I just, I don't know if I necessarily want to work for anyone. It just depends, I guess what the role was. I don't think I want to work under like any of them just because with you, I feel like we developed a friendship after I started working for you and you're also older than me. So I feel like there was like a good like dynamic. I just can't see myself like necessarily like working under David or Ilya who I've known for like, they've been like my friends aside outside of my job for like longer. So I feel like it's all great. You can shot yourself in the foot for a job with Ilya. I mean, I don't think I want to be getting Ilya like coffee. Like I just, what's that like Joe? What's it like to get Ilya coffee? I've only done it once. Like if there was a role that opened up, like I said Phil's Joe, I said Phil's. Um, no, if there was like a role that opened up, like that, like was not, I don't know that like fit what I like doing. And I was good at it. Like you want to work for Nick and Tony and LLC. We're hiring. I don't want to just be like doing like, yeah, yeah. Pitcher. What, what could she do? I mean, it sounds like Jonah's doing really extreme content. He came in here and he went and tried to buy heroin in Burbank yesterday, right? Yeah. What happened? Nothing. We were just offered heroin. We took it. Where were you in Burbank that you were on Alameda? How much of what you say is actually true about what happened yesterday? You were at a stoplight. Someone offered you to buy heroin and instead you went to go buy a car with him. Yeah. Is that what happened? That's what happened. Did he buy a car? He did. He did. Did he recognize you from the videos? No, he was like 72. Did you take the heroin? Yeah. Not even. Did you touch it? No. Jonah, I heard you went and did an open mic the other day and you bombed. I did. Let's just go. I feel like she was opening up. I don't want to like, no, I was just saying like, it was very nice. That was really nice. That was really sweet. Me and Jess always go off to like the wrong foot or something like that. I don't know, it's weird. You go off to the wrong foot? Yeah, we like start off with the wrong foot. You got off on the wrong foot. We got hard on the wrong foot. Yeah, it sucks when the wrong foot gets hard. No, I mean, I was... What happened? Did you like ever fall asleep when you're taking the heroin? Are you asking Jess or Jason? I'm asking Jess. I don't know how to make eye contact. Now finish what you're saying. No, I mean, there wasn't much. I was just saying like, I don't think I necessarily would want to like be like someone else in our friend groups, like assistant or that kind of job. If there was like a position that like opened up that like, I enjoy doing something like producing or like events or something like that, like marketing in that capacity. You want to throw like ******* ragers? Yeah. Because that's what we're doing. We're literally about it. We're throwing a party at the liquor store. You want to like... Yeah, are you going to hire me? I'll plan it. You want to? Yeah. Hunter? Yeah, I won't pay you. Hunter just said he won't pay you. We'll pay you. Is Hunter on salary? I'm good. I'm good at planning events. She is good at planning events. She planned the roast. I'm good at planning events and like producing like events and stuff like that. Okay, cool. We're going to throw some parties at Topanga. We're going to do a seating party. Not even kidding. What kind of party? I don't know. It's hard to explain. So the same guy trying to give us heroin is hosting a seating masterclass. Okay. All right. Me and Hunter, we're going to go and be part of the class. This guy's a jackpot. He's a gold miner. Dude, he's the best content. This guy was literally... Bro, it was content. It was literally content. I can't say his name. You got to bleep his name. That's fine. We don't need to know his name. Guess what his name is. LeBron James. I don't know. Why can't you say his name? His name was from Winnie the Pooh. Oh, is his actual name? Jonah, you better be careful. Dude, it was such good content. It sounds like another... Who was that guy? Yeah. Another scam. Watch out. Don't get scammed. I got scammed. Of course you did. Yeah, I did. Just read done. Yeah. Someone scammed me $6,000 for my wedding. I know who that was. You know that guy? Yeah. How do you know? Because he scammed me for my wedding. You weren't getting married. What are you talking about? Someone came up to me and told me that Jason got scammed or some ----. I'm a Romanian guy. Swear to God. Swear to God. This is real. I forgot to tell you because I was drunk at the club. He's like, bro, he's like... Why are you ******* telling me? I'm pretty sure it was already said and done. This happened like a month or something ago. Yeah. This guy's like, hey, there's a location or something that Jason was getting. He's like, tell him to not trust that guy. Yeah. He's a scammer. I was pretty sure I was at Bar Liz getting really fucked up. I'm pretty sure it already happened because you guys are already planning the wedding. I think you're already out of your money. Can't you get the cops involved? Some dude told me that. Some Romanian dude literally came up and told me. He's like, dude, tell him to be careful of that guy. You can bring the cops in. Wait, what happened? About a location, right? It was me. Some guy was going to get us this location for a wedding. Some guy was going to get a location. Jonah hired him. The next guy is Joe Vulpes. August 26th. Wedding in Bakersfield. I'm like, get that. I'm a wedding scammer. That's what I do. That's what Jonah was going to hire him as. He's like, I need another person working for me. So what you're going to do is plan these events, but you're not going to do it. You're just going to take their money. So funny. I'm pretty sure it was already said and done after he told me. This guy was going to get me this crazy location for the wedding. In downtown LA? No, this one was in Malibu. Did you go physically see it? Yep. Yeah, I went and saw it. Then I paid for tables and a tent and stuff. You gave it to him? Yeah, I sent it to a company. You transferred the money? Yep. What was the company? Wait, I didn't know you actually transferred the money. I don't want to say what the company was. Was it his company? I mean, I know that now. Say what the company was. I don't want to say. Why not? It's just like, I don't know. I'd rather not blast him on here. I'll figure it out myself because I'm trying to get the money back now. Is he sketchy? Why don't you just say, I'm going to get the cops involved if you don't give him the money back. Yeah, I mean, I will get the cops involved, but I have been talking to him, but I just haven't gotten the money. It's been like four months. So you went to a location? Yeah. You thought that he ran the location or what? No, no, no. I'm on YouTube short right now. So you're telling me what happened was, water is invisible. I hate those stupid podcast clips, bro. It's so stupid. Did you know wind? Did you know the number six reversed is a tongue licking an ass? What's that doing? Cool, no content like you. Not everyone can get heroin. Can we hear how this guy stole your money? Yeah. So I just sent him the money. And then as we kept going, like trying to like do the wedding, I was just kind of like, this is too much. Like he wanted to like, he wanted to like film and he wanted to like do all this stuff and like spend time together. How old is he? I don't know. He's in his forties. Is this the guy you told me about with the dinner and he knows people? I don't know. He wanted to spend time together. He told Jason that like Leonardo or Johnny Depp was going to come to dinner or something. And you know, it's tough when you're in that position where you're like planning a wedding because you have a fiance that's like sees this like incredible opportunity. So you're like, okay, let me try to make this happen. So I was, I was like completely blinded. And I mean, maybe I'll get the money back. I probably won't, but I've been talking to him. He does text me back, but as of now, like I'm out six K. What's your conversation like with him now? It was like, um, Hey, just give me the money. And he's like, well, I, I, I can't send it back. I'd have to go into it, but it was like, did your wedding happen already? Yeah. We already had it. You weren't invited. So fun. It was great. And there was no disruptions. Oh, and David got on the table. Yeah. I get, I get, dude, I get very, do you think I would invite you to my wedding? No, you would. Of course I would. I'm the one who sticks up for you all the time. I get taught. A lot of people talk about when I do my Q and A's. Why does it happen by the way? Why does so many of our friends? People don't understand. You were an hour late today. People don't understand the magic of you. Jonah, you yelled at me for not booking you your own suite in Vegas. Yeah. Oh yeah. Okay. The best, listen, listen, you guys don't put that on me. Cause I have mother commenting on my Instagram. She going to use David's. I didn't use no one's name by the way, to book my own suite. And in the end I still got my four bedroom suite. But I was only, I was only annoyed because you're like, don't go off and do your own thing. I'm like, dude, I'm working with a completely different, I'm getting minds from palms. Like I'll meet you guys where you guys are at. That's not what you said. You were talking to our hotel and they emailed me saying. I did talk to resort world at first and then palms hooked me up with a better one. What's the woman's name at resort world again? Remember? Yeah. She's really, really nice. And she did a lot for us. So then she would, she would text Jess like, please just Jonah is texting us on the side. I already worked out a deal with all of you guys to get you guys rooms, which I paid for too. But also it was a bet. It was like a rate. And then it came full circle. Cause she was like annoyed with you. But also you guys. Wait, wait, wait. We're at the club in the daytime with Tiesto and you're getting like kicked out. In your underwear. The guy's kicking you out. And I go over to Nikita. I go, remember the guy that was bothering you? She goes, yeah. She goes, I go, there he is. He's getting kicked out right now. I get kicked out of a lot of clubs. Your shirt comes off. I understand. But why the pants? It's just a thing, dude. How do your pants come off though? It's just a thing, dude. But you're in your underwear. It's literally just a thing, dude. It's just a thing. Like it's how you're comfortable. Yeah. So are you going to get in your underwear now? Don't go in your underwear at my wedding. I'm not drunk. Maybe I will eventually. We just put an ID on his head. Listen, how are you going to behave at my wedding? Good. I mean, he did get up on stage with the All-American Rejects when they were performing. And I got kicked off of there too. Yeah, you did. That was so funny, dude. What happened? They kicked you off? The security guard literally grabbed me, bro, and shoved me off stage. And I turned to him like, I'm like, be nice about it. And I'm drinking with a bottle of Macallan 15 in my hand. But you didn't get thrown out, thrown out, just kicked off stage. Kicked off stage, yeah. You guys didn't mention the part that I am a grown man. And you guys expect me to share a room with my sister. Well, in all fairness, Jonah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Me getting a little annoyed and going like, yo, let me do my own thing. One sec, one sec, Jess, Jess, one sec, let me talk. You didn't ask me. I did. You didn't ask me, you didn't ask me, you didn't ask me, you hit me up, you're like, stop hitting up people in Vegas. And I f***ing know everyone in Vegas. No, the day we did our first podcast episode when the three, it was just the three of us after we were all sitting on the couch and I was like, oh, wow, Jonah's great. Like we're having good conversations and we're talking about the resorts. And I go, Jonah, would you be OK sharing a room with Susie? And you go, yeah, that's fine. There's no way I said that. You said that. I said on the podcast? I think. Did I say it on the podcast? No, I think we were upstairs. I was sitting on the couch. We were on the living room and I remember you did say that. And that's the only reason I did it, because I asked your permission and you said yes. Sometimes I get too nice about things. Yeah, you were in a really good mood and you said yes. Yes. When I'm in a good mood, you can make me do anything you want. You were so nice. You can literally put me in a car and kidnap me if I'm in a good mood. You said, yeah, that's fine. And I'll go along with it. OK, also speaking of your... And when I drink, dude, I'll do anything. Dude, I literally, some dudes were literally like, yo, we're going to go across the border and eat tacos. I was drunk at Bar Liz. I'm like, I'm in. Let's go. I'm in. But I was down because I'm always down for an adventure. Dude, maybe I was in a good mood or I was 100 percent were in a good mood because you're being really nice and you did say it. But also, in all fairness, like you being a grown man, like me, Reggie, Taylor and Ella all slept next to each other in a bed. So like, you know, it was it was kind of like a for the team thing. Like, I didn't know that. But you see, like, because I told you guys, I'm like, yo, I will figure it out. And I told you to over text. I'm like, let me figure it out. I had someone else. No, no, no. You said you said lose my number. I just wrote lose my number. I can live up a screenshot. Lose my lose my number. You are you are something else. Maybe in your head. You thought you were communicating all this. I knew nothing about the palms. I knew only that you were reaching out to resorts world. And when I saw the record, I wasn't me personally reaching out to resorts world. It was a friend of mine in Vegas reaching out to like three different people. And resorts world was one of them. But they're reaching out for me. And then I told him, I'm like, dude, let's not do resorts world. Let's just do palms because I'm directly texting the girl there. Where did you end up staying? None of this was. I stayed at like in two bedroom suite in palms. It was dope. It did. I thought it was four bedroom. You said four. Oh, I was one. But it was the it was the it was the it was the best room at the best closet I've ever seen. The best rooms at the best room at the palms. And it's in a tent at the palms parking lot. My friend Henry hooked me up. I slept on a mattress outside. I slept on a blow up mattress. Go ahead. I did. And I was I was annoyed for a sec. Because I was like, I was like, dude, let me just do my own thing. You got so much drama that day. And I did. And did I? Yeah, you just never communicated any of this at all to me. Because I had someone else reaching out for me. I personally didn't like I didn't know he was even talking to me. He was like, yo, let me hit up like three or four people. And results was one of them. And then I told him I'm like, yo, dude, he's off on like, let's not I don't want a room there. Because they have something else going on there. I didn't get that message. I got lose my number. I'm taking care of it myself. Hey, guys, today's podcast is brought to you by SeatGeek. The one and only SeatGeek. The most amazing ticketing app out there. You guys, I talk about it all the time. I use it all the time. And it is pretty insane how great the app works. You just go on there, you download the app, you have it on your phone, you get tickets to any concert, any sporting event, any opera, you can go see live theater. I've seen so many great shows with SeatGeek over the years. Tower of the Creator, Vampire Weekend. I saw Dave Chappelle through SeatGeek. I've been to Coachella several times through SeatGeek. And it is the one for me. So please go right now and download the SeatGeek app. And if you use my code, Jason, for first-time users, you're going to get $20 off your first order. That's just so incredible. Make some memories with SeatGeek. They're just an incredible company. And I don't have to tell you, they were our first sponsor on this podcast. So please keep it in mind. SeatGeek, SeatGeek, SeatGeek. Keep it on your brain because they are a wonderful company. They've been supporting me. And they have a great product. Anyways, go download the SeatGeek app right now and use my code NASH. Get $20 off your first order. And my thanks to SeatGeek for sponsoring this podcast. Do you know the security guard that you told to f**k off was a big fan of yours? Was he? Yeah. He goes, he goes, I was talking to him, I was like, is there any way he can stay? And he's like, he was in the underwear. He's like, I could maybe let him stay. He's like, but he just told me to f**k off. He's like, so I got to kick him out. He's like, and it really hurts because I ******* love his TikToks. If you're the security guard watching this, I'll find him. I'm going to ******* hang out with you next time I'm in Vegas. I'll be in Vegas in like a couple of weeks. He was, he was pretty, uh, he was, he was laughing about it. What? Yeah. He thought it was fun. I was, and usually when I tell people to f**k off or something like that, I'm not hostile about it. I'll go like, you f**k off, dude. Like, I won't, I'll never go like. There he is. There's the guy. He's telling me right there. I was in my box just smoking a cigarette and walking out. I've just never wanted to take my pants off in public. I'm still confused at that. Same. How does it just happen? Uh, he just, he just vibes with it. He looked good. I mean, that's the thing is what I was saying is people don't understand the magic of you. I think that's what it is. People see the guy that's like acting out, but like I get the other side of it, which is like great content and a good laugh, you know? So it doesn't bother me as much as other people. Speaking of Jess leading. It bothers, it bothers a few. Yeah, dude. I know, I know for like, dude, back in the day, bro. I know ******* like half our ******* friends, like 85% of them did not like me. And then David was just always like, I just got to keep the camera rolling, man. He'll do something. He'll do something stupid. Dude, when I first met, when I first met Todd Heath and everybody. Yeah. They almost passed out at the balcony at the apartment because ******* fire extinguished them and I didn't know that you lose oxygen from the, from the fire extinguisher. And I just see Todd's bulging eyes knocking on the door. He's like, open the door. Oh yeah. They were on the balcony and they were locked out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was their first intro to me. Speaking of Jess leaving, I thought we'd go down memory lane, Joe, and look at one of our videos with Jess and maybe we can put some, some goodbye music to it. I wanted, I wanted to ask Jess's highlights. Am I dying? I wanted Jess's highlights and her lowlights. I want to know what were the darkest days here at Jason Nash Industries. Before you leave. Yeah. Before you leave, uh, do you have my number or no? No, I had, you told me to lose it. So I don't have it anymore. Take it back. Okay, um, can I just make a statement? Because I know that people are going to try and say this, Jason, can you let the, let the world know that I'm not leaving because I'm an alcoholic who's incompetent. You are? Well, let's see. Let's watch this video. Jess is leaving because she's incompetent. No, no, she's leaving because I can't afford her anymore. That's why she's leaving. What are you blurring out there? Are you sure, Jay? Yeah. I feel like, I feel like there's something else there, man. Oh, I remember this. You know, go to the middle, Ferris, when she comes in late for Coachella. Hey, there's something else he's mad about, dude. Yeah, he was holding on to this one. Look at her, she's coughing. Look at how sick she is. She had COVID. I did not have COVID. Look how happy and perky Jason was. Oh my God. That's her voice. There's Jonah. All right, you can stop it. What the **** was this? Why was I so much fatter there? You lost a lot of weight last week. That was like a year and a half. Okay, lowlights and highlights of Jessica. I'm like, hey, dude, I look back, I'm ******* 70 pounds, like 60 pounds down. You lost a lot. You gotta keep going. I've never seen the one in front of the goddamn scale, dude. I started off at 255 and one, When you were born? I just, I just stepped on the scale today. I was at 190. You were born at? Actually, if you just stay like this, you're good. I'm gonna lose a little more. Okay. All right, queen. Wanna play footsie? No, I'm good. Lowlights, go. You ever sports night before? What are some of the worst days here at Jason Ash Industries? Because anytime I'd walk in around 2pm, both of you were asleep. No, that's because you were coming over. We were pretending. We were playing dead. It worked, I left. I mean, Joe, you, me and Jason did do a lot of activities together. We learned how to surf together. We went, we did archery. We did archery together. We ate a lot of food together. Yeah. Like father and daughter bonding. Yeah. Trying to think, what's a highlight? Highlight was when she did the roast. She did a good job on that. It's the only thing he can think of. Lowlight was last week going to Build-A-Bear. That was a real lowlight. You went to Build-A-Bear? In all fairness, we all hooked up like ones each day. You went to Build-A-Bear? Yeah, we did. What did you get? We got David a bear. You want to go to Build-A-Bear together? Ooh. Not really. Girl. Into the blank. I lose my number. You never know until you know. It's still lost. You can't just write it off just as one bad experience. Write what off? Maybe the two of you. Yeah, definitely. I don't know. Yeah. We went to Build-A-Bear last week and we got to Century City and there was no Build-A-Bear there. Is this what you guys filmed? What do you mean? You guys drove all the way there and there wasn't a Build-A-Bear? In all fairness, like. Who went and didn't look to see if there was a Build-A-Bear there? I mapped it and it was in Culver City Mall. And then we drove to Century City. I got in the car. I go, Century City, Jess? And you go, yep. But like, in all fairness, if we would have plugged it in the map, we would have realized that it was Culver City. But we drove by memory to Culver. I mean, to Century. They sound the same to me. I didn't know there's two. Was that the end of the day? Did you guys go home after that? No, it was the first thing we did. First thing we did. And like. We did go home after that. I didn't realize there were two different malls. So when he just said Century City and it was like a double C, I was like, yeah. Because I looked it up the day before. You guys are such a good duo. Are you sure you want to end this? You want to pay her salary? How much is your salary? I put a GoFundMe. A week. Yeah. Just bleep it. Do you want to split it? No, I don't. You take her the first. You take her Monday through Thursday. I'll take her Friday. Who would be worse to work for? Joe or Jonah? Jonah. Probably. Yeah, Jonah doesn't pay. He has a history of not paying. Hunter or Mike. He said he doesn't pay. It's all free labor. Is there promise of growing in the company at least? He's not paying you? I am, you idiot. Are you getting paid? No, no, I'm only part of the squad. Is this your new squad? No, Hunter gets paid. Oh, okay. In what? In... In kebabs. Wait, can I just give myself a few more highlights? Your birthday party. Birthday party was good. Your bachelor party. Bachelor party, I lost 15 grand. And I didn't gamble. Maybe don't mention that one. 15 grand? Bachelor party cost me 15 grand. You didn't even have strippers. I didn't even have strippers. I should have had some strippers. So what did you blow the money on? Have you noticed how expensive everything is? Yeah. Hey, by the way, I love Ferris drunk. I just realized this about you. Ferris is the best. Dude, Ferris gets fucked up, dude. He came up to me. I wish you had the camera, dude. At Dave's ******* birthday, dude. Dude, he came up to me. Now, I know, but like I wish we had a camera on you too because you're the holding the camera. You're behind the camera, but like... Ferris says he has great footage from that party, but maybe he was drunk and he's wrong. Oh, Ferris, were you sent from that? Ferris drunk is so funny. It just like happens out of nowhere. You have any shots of me getting drunk? Perfect. How was the party? Fun. Yeah. ------- really fun. What was the highlight? The chicks were so uptight though. Did you smash any puss? No, dude. Hey, you got to take that pussy eating class. Dude, I kept trying to like talk to a girl. It's just like talking to a drywall. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw you talking to a girl. The tall skinny blonde chick. Me and Caitlin were watching. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I swear, dude. It's like talking to drywalls, bro. Like when you're talking to girls in LA. What did you say? Dude, they just give you like one word replies. Yeah. Maybe they're just not interested. Okay. No, I think they're... I think literally LA girls are just so boring sometimes. Give Jonas some tips. How do you talk to a girl in LA? You know, just be yourself. Well, maybe not for him, but normally, yeah. The real is messed up. The real Jonas. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Got you. And then what? You went and you did stand up? That day? No, you went and had a bad open mic. You texted in the group chat. Yeah, I had a bad open mic. Yeah. I mean, you were bummed about it, huh? Did you see it? Did you see the video? No. I have it. I'll send it to you. You can put it in. Oh, you? No, you don't. I have it. If you send it to anybody, I will inspect it. Wait, why would you have it? I was just... Why would you? I was sending it to the whole world. The whole world. He made me promise. Why the **** did you send it to everybody? God damn it. I'm like giving you a head. Why did you send it to everybody? You know how mad I am at you? Why do you have it? I promised him like nine times I would never show anybody. So he filmed it and sent it to you? Yeah. Wait, filmed what? It's a two minute set of Jona... Can we see it? ...on stage. No, no, no. Because you know why it's okay? Did you see it? You were there. Who filmed it? Because you know why it's okay? Because I literally did an open mic like two weeks ago and bombed. Like I bombed a bunch. When I was at? Yeah, and like I've been bombing left and right. Left and right. Like real bad. So you shouldn't feel bad about it. No, no, don't. You can't put any of that. It's so good. Okay, so tell me what it's like then. It's not bad. It's more... It's also there's no one there. There are old people there. Yeah, yeah. So how many people in the audience? AT&T provider there that got up and did some stand up. It was just old people, dude. They didn't get the jokes. I would have laughed if I was in the crowd. And then he would have kept going. It's just he got off stage at minute two. And he was like, I'm done. There was nobody younger than like 45 in the crowd. So they didn't get it. It was like jokes and like... Yeah, he talked about... I'm 50. I get jokes. Yeah, but you're also like... You're 50, but you're also 22. Yeah, you know how to hang. Give us a little 30 second teaser. You think like a pigeon kind of like... But it's in like the best way possible. Like a very small brain looking all around. But like in the best way possible. But like... Pigeon brain. Yeah, you have a pigeon brain. Not very advanced. But like we kind of all do have pigeon brains. I went to my show in Sunday in Toledo. And so we get there and it's like... It's an arcade and it's like just really weird. It's like a comedy club in an arcade. Yo, arcade machines, huh? He's like, I was reloading my card. He's like, I asked for a pin number. Everyone just roars. What did you say? Yeah, round one. Like making arcade jokes. I should have. I got up there right before I go on. They go, okay, are you ready for your headliner? Everyone's like, what? He's like, you know him from YouTube. And the All Good Things podcast. Here is... Jason Nash. She didn't know my name. Oh, that's so funny. Yeah. How did she know what podcast you were on? Because I did tell her. I was like, just say from YouTube and the All Good Things podcast. That's how I come out. Yeah. And she forgot my name. She told her everything except for your name. No, I told her. I mean, I assumed she would know my name. I'm the headliner. You assumed? Yeah, I did assume that she would know. So then she's arrogant. She turns to Naveen. I was trying to throw Jason under the bus because he throws me under the bus so much. What did you say? I was trying to throw him under the bus because he throws me under the bus so much. I don't throw you under the bus. I defend you. You guys literally made up fake stories about me using my friend's names to book rooms and stuff. It's not a fake story when we tell a story based on the knowledge that we know. Wasn't there a full email? Yeah. Yeah, and Dave told me that. Dave said that? Yeah, Dave was like, Jonah's trying to use my name to book rooms. Why didn't you just use your own name? Dave said that? Yeah. You f***ing b***h, dude. I never used your f***ing name. Well, I was the one that told Dave that. I haven't used your name since 2020. Because I got the- So you're spreading misinformation. That's the reason you f***ing let go. They sent me what you said in quotes. I have it. I was so mad, dude, when I started seeing comments on my Instagram. They were like, oh, you're using f***ing my name. Suck a d***, dude. So you didn't use Dave's name? No. My friend did. What? I don't think Dave would care. What the hotel told me is that you were using your name and David's name. I didn't use David's name at all. Maybe your friend did. Maybe my friend did. Okay, there we go. I never reached out to Resort World. Anyways. So how are you sitting here being like, I never use his name, when you're the one that even sent the email? Your friend used his name for you. Okay, maybe my- Same thing. All right, cool. Anyway, the woman goes- Let's clear it up now. The woman goes, she turns to me and she goes, what's his name? And she just goes, Jason, like that. And so then she just goes, Jason! So everyone thinks that- So did you bomb? No, that show went good. I'm saying I bombed, like, open mics and stuff. Those shows go well. I f***ing hate open mics, dude. Why? Because it's just comedians practicing their set. Yeah, but that's good. Yeah, but, you know, nobody- I bombed at an open mic two years ago. And then it's like, no, three years ago. It scarred the f*** out of me. You shouldn't let it scar you. It's literally just practice for you. I know, but I can't handle it. Yeah, I know what you mean. Huh? Give us a 30- Yeah, give us a joke. Give us a joke. The stand-up you sent me was really funny. Which one? The stuff you wrote about you were fighting a flamingo. Really? Yeah, that was really funny. My set's literally- I mean, you can't use this, though. Because, like, what if I- I don't want to use a joke and I'm not- What if no one laughs? Don't cut to crickets. Dude, I hate stand-up. You don't remember it? Ladies and gentlemen, you know him from his new show on Rumble, where he smokes heroin. Ladies and gentlemen, Nick Antonian! You forgot the giant pause. Alrighty. Do I have to do it? All right, fine, I'll do it. I lost respect for my dad after I saw- And when I was 12, my penis was going to stay the same size. I'd always hug the urinals pissing, you know, just trying to get us- Aw, keep going! It's stupid, I can't do it. No, it's good! I can't do stand-up. Come on! I can't do stand-up. What's the joke about the flamingo? That part was really funny. Okay. Every time I'd take a piss, I'd always hug the urinal as close as possible. Every time I'd, like, take a piss, I'd hug the urinal as close as possible, just making sure I'm as in to the urinal as possible, dude. And I'd always, like, peek glances. Not in, like, a gateway or anything. I'd always, like, look over to see, like, someone else's penis, too, when I was pissing, just to, like, compare sizes. And it was always weird, dude. You know what I mean? It was never- It was never really fun. But, um, yeah, dude. I, uh, I knew when I was, uh, when I was 12 years old, my penis was going to stay small. It's not going to grow any more than that. It's like my height, you know? Stay that same height my whole life. But, uh, I don't know, that's it. What's the part about the flamingo? Oh, the flamingo joke? Yeah, that part was funny. It always, like- I'd always accidentally piss myself when I, like, hugged the urinal. There'd always be, like, a little stain. And people would be like, yo, like, what the **** happened? You have, you know, piss stains on your pants. And I'd always say, like, some random- Excuse me, yeah, I got up from a flight with a flamingo in the bathroom. Put him in a chokehold, beat a flamingo's ass. But, uh, yeah, dude, it was like- Yeah, so much, uh- Hey, guys, you can come see Jonah at my California shows. Irvine, uh, Oxnard, Ontario. You'll be opening- I really don't like stand-up comedy. Joe, how's your OnlyFans? Do you have an OnlyFans? You want to sign up? You, you started an OnlyFans- Dude, you know money's tight when you start an OnlyFans. As a 37-year-old. You don't have an OnlyFans. Subscribe to find out. Shut the **** up. So I can see you're a big dude for three dollars. You're a little too excited there, Joe. Dude, I am so down, dude. Wait, no way. You didn't know this? I've seen Joe. He peeped over the urinal. Like three years ago. I feel like you have seen it. You have a little chub. No. Yeah. Where'd you see it? Dave's house. Where? In the backyard. No, you didn't. Swear. Did not. It's like I put a camera in your bathroom. I promise you, I saw your dick, dude. I don't know. Swear to God. Maybe. I don't know, it was a blur. Maybe we were drunk. We were never drunk in Dave's backyard together. Is this it, though? Okay, let's go. Make some of my posts 50% off for today. Voted the sexiest man to eat a hot dog in L.A. two years in a row. This is the worst. That's a pretty good byline. I can't believe you. Do you eat any hot dogs in your photos? Huh? You know what's funny, Jess and Jonah, is that it started out like you can't really talk about Joe's OnlyFans, and now we've moved to it's just fully on the board. That's crazy. I've been told. You have no f***ing OnlyFans, dude? Joe, what is this one? I've been told I have the best knee. What's that photo of? How much money do you make off it? Like a decent amount. Should I start an OnlyFans, too? Yeah, you should. But I can't show my d***. That'd be weird. Why? No one can see it. Jonah, you've got this. That's how you said last night. I was at home last night. You were at his house. You're literally at my mom's house. I have an alibi. I was streaming last night. People ask me about your d*** all the time. Really? Yeah, they're like, what does it look like? I know. I kind of miss the era. I'm pretty sure I can make a million bucks on OnlyFans. Do you remember that night when we took the picture in the hot tub? Yeah. If you posted it that day, you would have easily made three million dollars. I actually think you'd make a lot of money because I feel like from all the vlogs of you showing people your d***, people are so curious what it looks like. Yeah, you'd make bank. I don't know if I can do it, though, bro. I can't commit. Yeah, well, Joe's racking up the money over here. What is that photo of? How much do you make off this a month? Like a decent amount. Just tell me, bro. Keep going, Terrence. Let's see. Yeah, this is so funny. Ferris, go, go, go. This is good for you, Joe. This is the way you won't have a stigma about it. All right, all right. Looking good. OK. No way, dude. This is the stupidest d*** I've seen in my life. Are you f***ing kidding me, Joe? 54 likes? Ferris gave it a like. Joe, you're kidding me, dude. Do you do this? This is for real? Yes, Terrence. Ferris is tipping you right now. Oh, my God. Dude, there's no way this is real. $100. No, $100. Don't be cheap. Yeah, do $100. Ferris, send him $100. Do $100. Will you send him your d*** for $100? Huh? Will you show us your d*** right here for $100? We'll see. I don't know. Will you do it? Ferris, are you sending $100 to see Joe's d***? Did you send it? I'll reply in the message, maybe. Will you do it? Joe, are you going to show us your d*** for $100? OK, come on. Let's move off this. He's not going to do it. You're literally doing it for $4. We're right in front of you. Are you going to give him $100? 100%. If you show me your d*** right now, I'll give you $100. Joe, that's pretty good. I'm not showing you my d***. I'll do it for $100. My heart's pounding. I feel my heart. Your heart's on this side. Yeah, my heart's pounding. Ferris, my heart's pounding. No, no, no, that's something else. No, no, no, it's right here. Yeah, like in the middle. Jonah really wants to hook up with Reggie. Do you? No, I would never hook up. I can't, I can't. I want to hook up, but I would totally... The thing is, okay, I'll tell you this. I'm emotionally attracted to dudes, dude. No, I'm just kidding. I would love to f*** dudes, but I can't resist some good titties. Just clip that one part. You know what I mean? I would love to f*** dudes. No, I see this all the time. This is actually a stand-up set too. I totally, dude, I want to swing the other way and just go full-blown dudes. Why do you want to do that? Because chicks are so hard to deal with. But then at the same time... I promise you guys aren't... Actually, I feel like dudes are easier. I feel like dudes are ways easier to deal with, for sure. 100%. But at the same time, I can't, dude. I literally... I can't, I won't be able to get a hard-on or anything. Yeah, you haven't tried. No, I literally won't be able to do it. But you haven't tried. You never say never. I know what you're saying, but I literally... If you pull your d*** out, I'm like, oh, okay, cool. I won't be able to... But what if it was in the moment? Your mouth would start watering. No, no, I won't be able to. What if Reggie came up to you? I won't be able to. Because it's just not my thing. But I'm like, oh, f***, it's probably so much easier to deal with a dude. Yeah. Than a chick. Maybe. But yeah, there's literally... I would love to be gay, but I don't know how. I wouldn't be able to do it. Does this look like skin cancer? Yeah, you're dying. I'm not kidding. Did you already get that removed? I had skin cancer here, and I think it's back. I think I'm dying. Really? That dark spot? Yeah. You did get it removed, no? I did, I got it here removed. Oh, that's a new one? Yeah, this is a new one. F***ing sucks. When's your doctor? I'm gonna go on Friday. She'll be fine. He f***ing died Saturday. Will this podcast still go up? Oh, yeah, yeah, we gotta make it. That'd be so f***ed, dude. He f***ing passes away Saturday morning. All right, let's go and look at some news stories and then wrap this s*** up. Okay, Jonah, I thought you would love this story. Oh, I saw that. I saw that. You saw it? This is a bear in China that everyone thinks is fake. There's a video, too, that I sent you. Somebody said that, like, okay, someone, I was looking at this last night, actually, on my stream, because someone sent me this, and it looks really fake when it's standing, but then it goes back down on all fours, and it looks like a real bear. But someone said to me, that's just what they look like, and then I googled more pictures of those bears, and it's literally just what they look like. And then they had some experts come, you know, because it's from China, people think, you know, China's lying always, but they had some experts come in, and they said it is real. If it is, there's a video first, you want to see it? Would you hook up with a bear? I have hooked up with a bear. What was his name? Jonah. Not this first, there's like a recorded video, there it is. Have you ever been to a club in, you know? Here he is, here he is, look, look, look. Yeah. What's it like for you there? Are people flocking to you? Dude, I'm telling you, bro, I'm such a hot commodity. At the club? In West Hollywood. Are you? Because I picture you walk in, and like, you're feeling it, you take off your shirt, all these dudes are looking at you. Dude, I'm telling you, dude, I would be the perfect gay dude, bro. Any straight guy's a hot commodity down there, because that's kind of hot to try to turn a straight guy for them. You know? All right, this, Jonah, a couple pays $1,300 to have sex in the sky by renting a private jet. It's a TikToker. Wait. Isn't that cool? $1,300 for a private jet? That's like really cheap. Yeah, I'd pay for that just to go to New Jersey. Yeah, why? I think you just go up in the Cessna and come back down. You go up and have sex, and you come back down. That sounds kind of ridiculous. Like, if you're going to join the Mile High Club, do it the right way. If I grab one of these jets, you want to be down? Absolutely not. Really? Absolutely not. What if I'm like, yo, get it over with, whatever. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's just do it. Absolutely not. I'm just like, yo, just get it over with, like, whatever. There's nothing to get. And that only lasts like 45 seconds. No, I'm good. All right, next story. Joe, would you do this with Caitlyn? Would you go for $1,300 in the sky? If someone paid for it, sure. You'd do it if someone paid for it? What if you made it a wedding gift? An OnlyFans video. Oh, that's such a good idea. An OnlyFans video. It would do well. This is Gwyneth Paltrow is renting her guest house on Airbnb. Dude, imagine Joe's serious conversation he had with Caitlyn, like when he started his OnlyFans. Caitlyn, I have to. I have to take the house away. Gotta do it. He's like, it won't mean anything at all. He's like, I'm just gonna kill myself once a week and that's it. I had the same conversation with Naveen. I know you did. The finances, we have to. Caitlyn, we have to. We gotta ******* do it. He's like, the followers are there. I gotta use it and do something with it. Hey, man. You're gonna have the last laugh, Joe. Big collab with Harry Jowsey coming. Hey, listen, Harry Jowsey, if you're out there, collab with Joe. Help him out. Joe asked me to reach out to you, Harry. And I didn't want to make that call. You want to make an OnlyFans video with Harry Jowsey? Joe asked me, he's like, can you reach out to Harry Jowsey about OnlyFans? And I was just like, I can't. I'll do it. Okay, will you do it? You want to do one together? No, no, I can't do it. The thing is, Harry Jowsey is so nice that he'd probably say yes. He'd probably be like, yeah, sure, mate. Unless we do a sword fight. You want to do a sword fight? I'd only have one OnlyFans video ever, and it'd just be a sword fight with one of the homies. And then I'd delete the OnlyFans. If I do a sword fight. Sure. But I can't do it. I can't do it, Joe. I gotta do it with, like, Noah Beck or something. You know what I mean? Oh, you really are curious. I see your type. No, no, I'm really not. You want to do it with, like, a handsome guy. I'm being deadass, dude. I'm telling you, like, I don't know. I'd have to be on so many drugs. Well, that's not good. All right, Gwyneth Paltrow is renting her guest house, Joe. In Montecito, where you're getting married. Oh, we should go. Why would Gwyneth Paltrow rent her guest house? For people like us to experience. I don't get it. You know, I saw her once. What was she like? Gorgeous. I saw her last summer. Where? When I dropped Wyatt off for school, I was crying. Did I tell you the story? I dropped him off at school. And I was like, all right, man, good luck. Because it was his first time leaving. And he was like, all right. And then I started to cry. And I didn't want Wyatt to see me cry. So I turned and said goodbye. And then I looked up and Gwyneth Paltrow was standing there. You were crying in front of her? Yeah, and she was kind of like, she was saying goodbye to her son. She wasn't crying. You were crying because Wyatt left? Yeah, I was just, like, emotional. Because I was dropping him off at college. He was doing a college program for the summer. So he was, like, living in Boston on his own. He's like, this actually never happened. Dude, that's such a funny story. He's just, like, crying because he just dropped Wyatt off to college. Gwyneth Paltrow is just right there. He's like, hey, love your last movie. But he mixes the movies up. Titanic, great film. That's funny. She's gorgeous. Yeah, she's probably super hot. I mean, Joe, would you rent her Airbnb? Sure, how much was it? What do you think she would say if I spit game? Gwyneth Paltrow? Yeah. I don't know. She's kind of a chill girl. A chill lady. I think she'd probably like you. I don't think she'd date you. ****. Maybe like a quick hookup. I want to date a celebrity. Like, a really poppin' celebrity. Who's your celebrity crush? No, no, no, like an actor, not like an influencer. Who's your celebrity crush? Like Taylor Swift. That's your celebrity crush? Anyone smaller? No, no, I want to date Taylor Swift. That's it? No one else? I want you to date Taylor Swift so when you break up, she writes a song about you. Imagine. Bad as hell. He looked like the fuckin' Michelin Man. That's the name of the song? Michelin Man? Imagine. It's just me. Michelin Man. That's funny, dude. All right. All right, well, that's the show. Anything you guys want to promote, Joe, go to Joe's OnlyFans. Go to my Lightweights podcast channel on YouTube. It's gonna be linked down below and pinned comment. And you guys can subscribe today. So let's do some marketing. Show us right now for the vlog. Go check out Lightweight's podcast channel. It's gonna be linked down below. You know you can look in this camera. I looked at both. I did both takes. No, no, no, but like fuckin' for some promo. Why do you want to see my penis so bad? He's just insecure about his, so he wants a penis. Do it, Joe. Do it. Just show Jonah. Don't show us. 100 bucks and you get a promo. Come on, dude. The thing about Jonah is I don't know if this vlog will ever come out either. That's the thing. It's gonna come out. How long are your vlogs gonna be? Because they're competing with Nelk. They're gonna be like 12 minutes maybe. All right, and go check out Jess at Jessica Sukir on Twitch. She'll be streaming a lot more over there. Jess? Are you a Twitch streamer now? Yeah. Really? What do you do on Twitch? Chatting, games, cooking, painting. I want to say thank you for all the good times. Thank you for all your hard work. You're supposed to not watch me. Can we watch your three-hour stream? Yeah, it's three hours. How many views do you get? It depends. When I first started, my numbers were really high, but I wasn't that consistent, so they dropped a little bit. All right, Jonah. Go check out Jonah on TikTok. Go check out Joe's OnlyFans. Go check out Joe's podcast. And go check out Jess on Twitch. Jess, this is not the end. We'll be seeing you a lot, I hope. Yeah, I mean, I'll be around. Is she still gonna be on the pod? Yeah, of course. All the good thing listeners can be expecting it? Yeah, yeah, of course. And look out for my clothing company that's going to relaunch. What's the name of it? Well, it's called Lonely Hearts Label, but I am debating whether I want to change it to Sukir. Because the way that my last name looks, one time I got a jacket from the Paramount event that had my last name in the back, and I had so many people come up to me asking me what brand that was. What do you guys think? Do you like Lonely Hearts, or do you like Sukir better? I like Sukir better. Sukir. Sukir means sugar in Polish, too. Oh, that's perfect. Okay, guys, look out for the brand Sukir. And send Jess some love. Leave a comment. Go check out her Twitch. And yeah. See you guys next time. Thanks, guys. Bye-bye.