How To Stop Being Single - Smartest Girl

What's up, everybody? Welcome back to the podcast. I hope you guys are feeling fantastic. Is this the smartest girl or should we do Jeff on? Jeff will be here on Monday night to do a all good thing. Should we make this a smartest girl or should we just make this another all good things? Or whatever you want. Oh, yeah, yeah, I can do smartest girl. Whichever you want. Yeah, you sprung it on me. But it's a good opportunity. Oh, so let's redo the let's redo the intro then. Do the intro. Okay, great. Ladies and gentlemen, here she is the one and only the woman with all your relationship needs the woman who claims to be able to get you married in six months. Here she is or less looking beautiful in a sporty one of those one of those outfits that just really hugs the butt. So it gives you an entertaining thing to look at all entertaining thing to look at all day long. We just got back from a 5k. You want to get your relationship on track. You want to meet somebody that you love. Let me hand it over to the beautiful, the talented, the smartest girl in the world. That's really good. Thank you. Brought to you by leisure. And Diet Coke of Illinois. Yeah, you see this? Why did they say Illinois? I don't know. They probably were doing a different states and things like that. Now I heard a little rumble before that on the podcast. You're softer than me. And on the recordings. Yeah. So you're playing? Yeah, because I play. Go ahead. Yeah, I have an if you put your foot on that wall, you're done. What are you from Staten Island? Jesus Christ. In our guest bathroom, guys, I noticed something and I'm gonna investigate it. I want you to know I will be putting cameras. I forget to flush again. No, the toilet, the wall. Okay. There's a toilet and then right in front of the toilet is a wall. The wall is pretty close by. I could touch the wall in this bathroom. There's a footprint on the wall. Why is there always a footprint? I got a couple of culprits in my mind. You put your feet up while you're- I don't, but I got a couple of culprits. Who? Well, Wyatt. Wyatt has not been here. Joe Volpis. Joe Volpis has not been here. That footprint has been on the wall when Wyatt was still in high school. No, no, no. I had that bathroom painted. Oh, and there's another footprint? Yeah. I had that bathroom. Remember there was a crack there and that guy that came- There's a footprint, a new footprint there? Yes. Oh, I don't put my feet up on the wall. That's why I'm confused. What? You got to be pushing really hard to put your foot on the wall. I don't know how it's come. I even tried to put my foot where it was. See, I wouldn't do that. I had hip surgery, I would never do that. I would never. I was thinking, were you doing pushups on the toilet with your arms and then you put your feet on the wall? Maybe, maybe. I'm trying to figure out how you did it. Maybe, maybe. I did take your hokas and I matched up the print. Really? Yeah. There's a new print right now. Go in there and film it for them. I'll stay here. Are you going to run out? Are you serious? Yeah. Let me go look. Maybe I'm doing it and I don't know that I'm doing it. I just tried to do it and it's so uncomfortable. It hurts my hips. I'm so confused by it. You think it's a ghost? No. Oops, I sat on the mic. Sorry for that sound, guys. That was my anus. Speaking of anus, there's a ghost pooping in our house. Okay, so then it's one of the workmen. We have to go and accuse them of it. We'll need to use Google Translate. Did you see this morning when I walked in, I said, do you want some water? And he goes, I don't speak English. And I go, ah. I go, I go, agua? And he goes, no, no, no. And I go, Celsius? And he goes, oh. Yeah, no, Celsius has everyone acting crazy. I should have shot that and sent that to Celsius. I loved it so much. It was like international breakthrough. It didn't matter what color we were. We both spoke the same language. Playa vibe. Arctic vibe. We both spoke Arctic vibe. We both spoke Arctic vibe. It was so cool. His eyes lit up. He was so happy. Imagine you're showing up for work on a Saturday. You're like, I don't really want to go, but I got to do the job. And what do I do? Bring you a cold, cold Celsius to start the day. Wow. I mean, that's life. That's incredible. That's a winning day. He was probably high the first three hours he was painting. Don't worry, he can't hear me. He can't speak English. Yes, he can. He just didn't want to talk to you. I'm just kidding. So you have a gripe on this podcast that I'm too loud, that you're not as- No, no, I don't think you're too loud. I think you give yourself the better mic. No, you're just softer than me, and we record to one track, and I don't know how to record to two tracks. I probably could figure it out if I was not lazy. You're not lazy. I could boost you. Want me to do that from now on, queen? Queen of smartest girl? No. Queen of relationships, queen of... What's going on? Do you have anybody you're helping on the side that you're not publishing? I know you're always helping people. I'm always on the prowl. Not to date. I think I said that word wrong. I came out wrong. Remember on the podcast last week when you said, I think I'm going to leave you for a year or so, just to see if I can get married again? I just wanted to see, because I think I'm onto something, and I think being married, I have knowledge. Do you want to go find some guy, marry him, impart the knowledge, and then pull the rug out underneath from him? Hey, I'm out. This was a learning experience for you. You're welcome. I'm going back to J-Dog. Well, I would actually be helping him, because guys that had already been married once usually make better partners the second time around. So I would be helping him, and then I would just come right back. I think that's an age thing. Guys just grow up, guys mature. No, some guys are way older, and they're not mature. She said no. All right. You're the boss on this one. Thank you. Finally. Listen, and how have I been doing in the relationship department? I know you like to give a score every week. That's really funny. It's time for your scoring. I've been working on a new joke. Okay, let's hear it. It's really good, I think. We saw John Mulaney last night, so we've both been inspired. Yeah, I was writing for most of... Oh, by the way, I did a 5K this morning, no biggie. I was writing a little bit in the beginning. We'll get to that. I wrote a couple of jokes. While you were sitting there watching John Mulaney, you were writing jokes? No, no, during the 5K. Oh, you were? Yeah. Were they about how awful your husband is? No. Okay. Do you want to do them right now? We want to premiere them right now? How does everyone feel about... Oh, no. You got some race stuff? What are we talking here? Material on ice? Am I allowed to do... Race jokes? No, stuff about... Why do you always go to race? It's nothing to do with it. Okay, okay. I don't know. It sounded like it was going to be a hot button issue. It's just about sexual harassment. Is that okay? From a female's perspective, I think that's a really good topic. But it's me telling people... It sounds like it's happening so often. Sure. All around me. Yeah. Never to me. So I don't know if it's me. Maybe you like the attention. I think I know how to help people. So it's like, you know how they say they're trying to teach boys, no means no. Yeah. Wait, this is great for you. You could go into companies and make a fortune. Go. Okay, hear me out. I am going to. So no means no. Right. And it's been this crazy thing of people... The way they say no matters. And it's like, people aren't taking no as an answer because no feels like not a no, you know? Right. People can't say no because the boss is... Well, they're saying no, but they're like, no. And then the guy's not getting it. Right. And keeps going, thinking they're just playing around or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got to stop saying no. Okay. Couple of things. I paid five grand for this. Couple of things. You can't say no to a guy. And then if he's in his horny brain, can I say that? Yeah, yeah. He's going to keep going because it's like, oh, no, I'm going to make this no a yes, because the no isn't stern. Okay. What I've learned from Jason is one thing that guys hate is feeling like they're gross. Yeah. If someone's like, ew. Yeah. So you have to... Instead of saying no, if someone's trying to touch you, be like, ew! Yeah. That's going to make them stop. That's really good. You have to say something else. Like not, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For some reason that's not clicking. So you have to be like, ew, ew, ew. Oh my gosh, I'm going to barf. No! Yeah. No one wants you to barf on them. That's really good. Say, oh my gosh, I'm in a diarrhea. That's a quick way to... They're leaving you alone. Yeah. You tell me you have diarrhea, I'm gone. And then if you're in a situation where someone is like, they don't care that you're saying no. They don't care that you're saying no. They like it, right? They're committed to the harassment. Yeah. That's when you've got to switch the script. Act like now... You know what? I want you. Do it. If no is the thing that's turning them on, just harass them back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I like that. I like both of those ideas. You have to yell fire. Fire? Fire in my crotch. That's what I would say. Well, those are great tips for the ladies out there that are working in an office and might not know what to do. Good job. You're already giving really good information on this podcast. We're off to a bang up start. Wonderful. What else? Okay, let's talk... We did a 5k this morning. We went to the two bears 5k and you're being crushed it. And she got a medal, which was kind of cool. We got a big five. We both got five bears or five bears. Two bears, five Ks. Two bears, medals. What? Two bears, five cups. You're imagining Burton Tom in that video. That sounds like a good AI video. Okay, and then we went to John Mulaney last night, too, which we've just been packed with stuff. I mean, it feels like a make a wish today for me. This is like, Naveen planned John Mulaney. She surprised me with tickets through SeatGeek. Amazing. Jason 10 and for 10% off. And then we went to a comedy thing this morning. Comedy. Comedy 5k. Yeah, you know, I... It's really nice. I love May. I love the start of summer. And I love... Well, your birthday's in May, isn't it? Yes, it is. May 31st. But I love like, I don't know, I feel like sometimes we get a little busy and we'll like do stuff or like sometimes we won't do something if we can't film there like the John Mulaney thing, right? But I think it's important to still book things that I know you love or that I love, because it's just like fun and it's like... Right, be people. Yeah, like do things that interest you. And, you know, I just love like little live events. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really inspiring to go watch him last night. He was just... I couldn't even keep up with him. His jokes were so... I was like trying to study what he was doing and I was like, Oh my God, this ************'s got like... Sometimes it felt like he was telling like three jokes a minute. I mean, sometimes like, honestly, four or five jokes a minute. It's like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Well, you know, I think... Crazy. The advantage of having a young kid is it's truly endless material. I'd say there's about 40% of the material was about the family. And it's like the family, it's not even like he took some... Like I'm sure he takes it and like obviously he's an insane writer, but it's like some of the stuff was just something his son said and it's just like his delivery is that good that he can just take that and it's hilarious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like him doing the birthday party bags and like... It's funny, that is the best stuff too when I'm watching a comedian. That is the best stuff, family stuff. It's so funny. That's why I love Kevin Hart, who I don't think gets enough credit as a stand-up comedian. I think he's just so good. I just loved his special so much. And I understand you still keep the smartest girl phone line open. I've asked you many times to shut it down and we do need to do a little housekeeping here on this podcast. Naveen has a phone number since she started this podcast that she's left running. I will say... And it's just people prank calling. No, no, no. Some of the messages are so kind. Really? It makes me think... Okay, let's talk about the kind ones then, not the negative ones. Well, like what? What would someone say? Naveen, thank you so much. Yeah, like I heard you guys said this, this, and this, and I'm feeling this. I don't know what to do. Can you call? And then that was like a year ago, so I haven't been able to reach out, but... How often are you checking the machine? Well, I checked it. I didn't remember the... There's like a code password and I didn't remember for a long time. And then I went through like my files. Oh, okay. And you found it. And I found it. Oh, okay. So I checked it after like a year. And the number is still up if people want to call. The number is still up. I want to start using it. Okay, so what would people say if they wanted? What kind of things you're looking for on there? You can leave a voicemail. And like in the beginning of this podcast, we used to play the voicemails. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then sometimes we would call someone back. Remember that? So I want to bring that back. I think that's so fun. Okay. And I saw Stavros does something like that and I liked it. And then I was like, oh, I did that. He takes like calls and problems, I think, right? Yeah. I read this thing of this person that said that for 11 years. Yeah. They've been single. And it's like crazy to even say that number. Okay. But they've truly been trying. And like they're on a bunch of dating apps. And they like go to things and they really try. But no one wants a date with them after like meeting. Okay. Nobody? Girl or guy? That's what they say. A girl. Okay. Well. And that advice everyone gives is like don't make it a priority or something. But if it's been 11 years, I think it needs to be top priority. Uh-huh. I think you need to quit your job. I think you got to quit all your friends. And I think you got to zone in on this because there's a really crazy problem happening to you. That's crazy. And I think you need to do an energy cleanse. Okay. That's good advice. And you need to. Not quit your job. People can't just quit their jobs. Something about this job is hindering your growth. All right. I'm not sure. It depends what your job is, I guess. But you've got to. How old is she? I don't know. Okay. I think sometimes you got to make a friend of the opposite sex. And be like, am I ugly? Be so serious. No one's going to tell her that. But I like your advice of making friends with the opposite sex. Sometimes the tone of your voice is off-putting to people. Or sometimes you smell bad. Maybe it's something so stupid. Could be. But I think if it's 11 years, that means we got to look at the machine. Okay. Maybe start dating a machine. Or maybe it's something you're saying or doing. I think. I don't know. That's a crazy amount of time. I don't think that's normal. Right. Well, I don't know. I'm not sure. I'm trying to think if I've known somebody that didn't date for 11 years. I mean, I went five years without dating anybody. That's trying. You were like banging it up all over town. But I'm talking someone. No, I wasn't. Not at all. Really? So once we got engaged, I got a lot of messages from people saying they matched with you and stuff. Doesn't matter. That doesn't mean I went on dates with them. You met up with them. No way. But told them you didn't want anything serious. Weird. But I just think if a guy has a crush on you, he'll want something serious. I see. Unless your personality is annoying or you seem like a problem. Did I seem like a problem to you? Did you seem like a problem? Yeah. No. Okay. Okay, sorry. I didn't understand. No, that's okay. You seem like a problem to me. I'm a little slow. No, you saw me as literal perfect angel. Yeah, that was the problem. Too good. Shut up. I've been doing good. I've been practicing this thing in my head the last week, and I think it can really help people. I am not letting in negative things in my mind. I don't mean the outside world. I don't have negative people around me at all. You're very positive. But myself, I would get negative thoughts. Now, this morning, I was a little flustered trying to leave the house, and I started to get negative thoughts, and I said out loud, not today. I said, not today. We're not going to be negative today. It's okay. Everything's going to be okay. I stood right there. Yeah. Nipped it in the bud. I love that. Yeah. That's nice. And the other thing I've been doing is when something comes up, I complete it. Oh, that's good. Yeah, I've been trying to complete it. Even yesterday, there was a word that came up. Oh, the word was umbra. I don't know about this umbra. I was playing Wordle, and I got umbra. Jason played Wordle, and he pulled it up and showed me that he had already won. Well, yeah, I played yesterday, and the word was umbra. And I'm a little confused because I looked at the letters. I wasn't incredibly sure how he got there. I had the R-A on the end. I had that. How would you just guess the letter U in the beginning of a word? Because U hadn't been used yet. Sometimes I'll send words in. Did you phone a friend? No, I don't phone a friend on Wordle. Sometimes I'll put words in that aren't words just to see if they are words. Yeah, I've seen you do it. Yeah, so umbra, umbra. I didn't know. Oh, I hit the wall with my foot. Yeah, I know. Why don't you take your shoe off so you're just socks? I want to be a no-shoes household so bad. You do? Yeah, just because it's really dirty. Okay, Stalin. Can you take your socks off too? Hey, listen. I had one marriage like this. I'm not looking for another one. What was I going to say? Oh, and so umbra, what does it mean? You looked it up, Jason. What did it mean when you looked it up? I forgot. Anyways, you were right. It meant the darkest part of a shadow. Very good. Yeah, so anyways. So even little things like that. You're not impressed by that? I'm really impressed. I said very good. Jesus Christ. You can't praise this woman enough. I would have loved like a... You have a praise cake. I would have loved like a... Okay, okay. Like that's crazy. That was actually was very crazy that you remembered. Very good. I mean, do you have a praise cake? Of course. You do? Yeah. Like more so than the average person? 100%. Oh, really? What do you think that is? Have you ever looked at yourself? I look at myself every morning. No, but I mean like if you ever like thought about like the things that Well, it's like a middle child. Oh. A middle child usually has a praise cake. That's really good because there's not enough attention going around. It's like there's a younger kid. Yeah. There's an older kid. Yeah. And so then it's like you kind of have to do something incredible to get like attention. So that's why you left at 18. Anyway, guys, this is a relationship podcast. This guy's out of his mind. You know what I don't like? What? Me? No, no, no. I guess it's too rude. It's a specific type of person. No, go ahead. Try it. You can cut it out if not. I don't like it's like a certain couple you see sometimes that like we saw a type of it today. It's like the guy's a little slimy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate that. I hate it because it makes me just want to be like, like, look at the girl. I'm like, what are you doing? Like you see a couple and the guy's checking you out, right? Yeah, but there's a certain type of person that will like, just do it like blatantly in front of someone or it's like, I don't know. I hate it. We're getting a lot of that. It makes me want to leave. I want to like yell at the girl like, it's okay, just leave. Your Ben and Tom need to say something to their fans about having leering eyes, wandering eyes. Yeah, I think and the thing that they address it on the next episode, I feel like a lot of guys like look around and stuff, but there's nothing more unattractive to a girl than when they see a guy looking at them and the guys with a girl. Oh, yeah, it's almost like like it. It's such a turn off that like, I don't know why guys do it like you. I don't know what a girl looks at a guy. What if what if a girl looks looks at me? If a girl looks at a guy and the guys with a girl, then that's the appeal of it. It's not even, you know, really, it sounds like a bit of a double standard. No, no, it's not a girl. So different because men are like programmed as like, you guys are like looking around. You're like, it's like the man part of your brain. You're like when you enter a room, you're like looking at other girls. Girls aren't programmed that way. I've never walked into a restaurant. I was like, hot guy, hot guy, hot guy like that. Girls don't think like that. It's like it's a different it is men and women are wired so differently. Not every not every woman. I'm sure there's lots of girls that go in and look at other people. And probably there's lots of girls that find that as a turn on just to try to steal somebody's man. That's what I'm that's what I said. I said if a girl looks at a guy and there was a girl that it's it's the act of like seeing if you'll look at her because that will make her feel validated. It's not that she just thinks the guy's hot. But isn't that the same thing? No. Why? Because it's different because the guy wants to the guy's ogling her. He's feeling validated if you look back. No, it's hard not to look back when someone's like, it's like guys are so obvious. It's like anytime someone's looking at me, I make eye contact back. You do? I can't help it. I'm the type of person like I have to look back at someone to show them like I'm not scared of you and I don't like you. Did you yell that I have diarrhea today? No. No one's ever tried. Wait, what are you supposed to say if it's sexual? Ew, disgusting. Yeah, why did you say that? I'm gonna barf. Why didn't you use that today? Well, no one came up to me. It was just like energy. Okay, I'm gonna throw you some questions, some relationship questions. I'm gonna see how good you actually are and see if you are the smartest girl. Let me open the portal. Oh, you got Starlink in there? Did you put Starlink in? Yeah. Okay, wonderful. All right, here's something. Okay, how about this? What if you're married, right? And you want a divorce, it's not us, but you have kids that are like 12 years old. Divorced, you're not doing them favors. What if you have kids that are like, what if you have twins? They're 15. They've got three more years. What do you do? Do you run off for three years? No, I think it's the most bizarre thing to stay until your kids are in college because when your kids go to college and finish school and go do their own life, a lot of people come back. To come back to this crazy thing, it's like kids are so smart emotionally that it's like, oh, you were just together for... Don't stay together for us. You robbed them the experience of seeing their parents happy. I don't care. Everyone I've ever met that stays together, everyone in the house feels that tension. It's like, that sucks. That's the worst kind of home to be in. And I think it's really bad for kids to see that their parents live in the same house and they're not in love. Okay. I think that's so toxic. Yeah, I saw this thing on Instagram the other day and I felt bad about Charlie and Wyatt because it said, you're supposed to say no. And I felt like I probably didn't do that enough. Like saying no to stuff is really good for a kid. Saying no. Oh, so you're... I thought to a divorce. No, not divorce. I'm saying just in general, you're supposed to say... Oh, you have to say no to your kids. You have to say no and I wasn't good at that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so what happens is when you don't say no, is they're left with chaos and too many choices and they don't understand anything. So yeah, **** that one up. It's okay. We're going to do round two soon and I'll make sure you don't. Yeah, but you go both ways. You'll be like, yeah, my kid's going to be on the runway. My kid's going to be doing this. Yeah. Yeah, but my kid won't have... Obviously, no one's perfect and everyone will... The way that I'm going to do it is going to come with challenges. No one can raise someone perfectly, right? Like even being a good parent will cause this thing or this thing, doesn't matter. Yeah, that's true. Like you're such a good parent that you couldn't say no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so... What a great childhood, right? But it's like that... Sometimes you have to compromise a perfect dish childhood or being the good guy all the time in order to make a strong adult. And I think I have the... I just got the... I've got the sauce to do that. Yeah, yeah. I'm okay being the bad guy if I know it's for the greater good. Right, right, right. Yeah, I'll play good cop. I don't know. Your mother's sad. It was up to me. No. You want a beer? No, that's the one... I don't do that. People that let their kids drink are insane. Alcohol is the number one worst thing that you could ever put in your body. For you to give it to a child is... I think you should be able to get children taken away from their parents that do that. I've known so many people like even growing up. I remember I would go to my friend's house. Her name was Tiffany. Yeah. And her mom was a raging alcoholic. Sorry, Tiffany. I don't know if you still keep up with me, but that was crazy. And her mom would get wasted. And she'd be like, I'd rather her drink here than go out and drink. And it's like, she would push little... How about not drinking? Smearing off ices on me. And I would literally feel so uncomfortable that I would pour them in the sink and then come back out. And she's like, ooh, drinking a lot. And she'd give me more. And it's like, I remember as a kid thinking, this is weird. Yeah, I'm very against alcohol. You're not being a cool parent. You're being weird. I wouldn't say they're being weird. I just think it's setting a precedent that doesn't need to be set. It's not even a precedent. It's not even about that to me. It's about their brain is growing. Right. Yeah. Same thing with the phone, man. I wish I hadn't gotten my kids' phones. That's a big one I fucked up on. But I was divorced, and I wanted them to stay in touch with me at all times. So I was like, I'm going to get them these phones. You made a mistake, because now those two are on your phone plan until you die. Oh, yeah. That's why I'll always be the parent that's like, no, I don't want to do phones, just because that parent never wants to pay the phone bill. That's really funny. I'd love to get a test of all of our friends and see if they're still on their parents' plan. I've never met a girl that's not on her parents' plan. I think it's the most insane thing. I'm like, what? Yo, leave a comment if you're over 25 and still on your parents' plan. That's really funny. That's a move, though. Saves you a little bit of cash every month. 100 bucks. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah, anyways. And then what else did we do? We went to New York. We saw Wyatt. That was insane. Did we already talk about that? I can't remember. Oh, I talked about it on the podcast a little bit. Had a great time in New York. Oh, let's get back to relationships. Okay, here we go. Here's the next question for you. What if you are a 75-year-old man, okay? Okay. You have a lot of money. Let's say you have $10 million in the bank. Okay. And you're just like, you do have kids that are grown and have families of their own. Okay. It's your grandfather. Yeah, but you're lonely, all right? Where's your wife? She divorced you a long time ago. Let's say that, okay? Why? Who knows? Maybe you were a ----. Okay. And now, what's the move if you're 75? Do you go out and find someone your age? Do you go find someone younger? Do you get married? Do you keep it just dating? What's the move? This is what I would do. Okay. If I was a 75-year-old man, I was already married. I already have kids, all that stuff. I would just go be with the person that I thought was the hottest, whether that person was 40 or 20. You know, it doesn't- Wait, how old? 40 or 20. 20 is okay? The age wouldn't matter at that point because I'm not going to be egging her on like we're going to have a kid, right? Right. I've made it clear I'm done. Right. So then it's like, oh, I'm just, I have a little bit, who knows how much time I have left. I want to enjoy myself. So it's whoever I truly feel connected with. I don't think it's weird for a really old person to be with a young person. I think that when people think that's weird, even like the Anna Nicole Smith and that- Yeah. I know. Guy. Yeah, I know the story. He was like 100. Yeah, but everyone was on this girl. But it's like, that guy's having the time of his life. He's going out with a bae. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's fine. He's good. He's not being used. He's happy. How would you go about finding this person, be it she's 50 or 30 or whatever? Beverly Hills Hotel. Really? Good advice. Or I would drive, I'd have like a really expensive car and I would drive around the city. And then I'd find like a hottie on the street. Yeah. And I'd have my driver roll the window down and say, he wants to speak with you. And then he pulls forward. Yeah. And then I roll my window down and I say, I'm looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with. You want to drive around the block and talk? And I would want someone spontaneous that would get in the car and talk to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'd just be with them. I don't think I would date multiple people just because I find that I can't remember a bunch of stuff about a bunch of people. I'm 75. I want one person and I want them to also be fun, but also be able to take care of me. So it can't be someone that's old as well. Yeah. How about this? You're 36 years old. Man or woman? Woman. Yeah. You have a boyfriend who's also... I would never be 36 with a boyfriend. Next question. Okay, no, no, go. Okay, well, you answered it. What? No, I mean, oh, you want to do it? Let's do it. You're 36 years old. Yeah, because I'm trying to help people that are out there. Okay. Okay? So, well, you're tough. Here we go. You're 36 years old. You got a boyfriend that's also 36. You guys have been together for off and on for 10 years. Okay? Okay. I hate... You would like to get married, but it's not like he doesn't want to get married, doesn't believe in it. You like him enough that you're like, I do love him. Okay, we don't have to get married. But deep, deep, deep down, if he proposed and was like, hey, you want to get married? You'd be excited and you'd be like, hell yeah. What do you do? Okay, listen. This is the ******* best drink that's ever been made. You cannot be in that situation. That to me is like... This is what I don't like about your advice. It's over. Don't ever be in that situation. If you want something, go and get it. Don't ever. That's settling. And you're on and off with this person for 10 years. Well, hey, how about we call it? Let's stay up. This is what I don't like about your advice. You give advice that's like, she's already in it. Get out of it. That's one thing I don't care. I don't care if someone's 20 years into something. Get out of it. You get to live literally one time. We get this one time for you to sit there and be like, well, it's good enough. Never. Be amazing or get out. So then she got to go be alone. Maybe she doesn't like that. She has to be alone for a second. And I want you to be alone literally for a second and sit there and think like, ew, why was I doing that? Being alone is so fun. Be alone until you have someone so cool and so fun to be with. Otherwise, what are you doing? I would hate to be in the same space as someone that I'm like, it's okay. Kill me. How about this? You're 22 years old. You're a girl. You're going to your sister's wedding in Maine. Okay. How old's your sister? She's 27. Okay. Nice Maine. Nice Wayne wedding. Nice little Wayne wedding where little Wayne is performing. It's little Wayne's daughter getting married. No, nice Maine wedding, summertime. Sadness. As we all know, what? Oh, sorry. Keep the Lana out of this, please. You have your eye on a guy, right? That you really like. Is it the person's own grandfather? No. Penthouse letters? Who is it? It's just like a guy. A guy. Why do I like him? Just like him. He's the guy you like. But do I know him? We're friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're friends? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is he my age? Yeah. Is it okay to ask him to go to the wedding with you? Is he at the wedding? No, no. He's got nothing to do with the wedding. He's just like your friend from college or something. Why would I take my friend to a wedding where you don't take Stan to the beach? Because you like him. Lots of people like to go to weddings with dates. Okay, so I'm asking him to be my date to a wedding. Yeah. Is that okay? Yeah. It's okay for a woman to ask? Oh yeah, because it's her event. He can't ask her. He's not a part of it. Oh, right, right, right, right, right. But it is also like, I think in your 20s especially, you have to be okay going to things alone. It's a family event. So you bringing someone kind of means a lot. So I don't know. I think I was in so many situations where I would just bring someone because I didn't want to go alone. It's like, oh, I would have had so much more fun if I went alone. Yeah. So I think 20s is like for that. We just had a friend who's off to a wedding in Europe and he was going to bring a girl, but now he's going alone. And he was kind of, remember, he was kind of upset about that, that he's going alone. Yeah, but in the moment when he does it, he'll be like, oh my gosh, this would have been so awkward if I brought someone because I actually met this other person. But what if you don't? I've been to weddings alone. I went to a wedding alone and I was at the singles table and it was rough. Sometimes it's rough and sometimes it's not. You have to be okay with rough. You can't have a good night every night. It's like, I don't know, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it sucks and then it could be good. It's hope. Okay, Obama. All right, last question. Here we go. If you could change one thing about me, what would you change? The only thing I would change is I would make you see yourself like I see you because then you'd be obsessed. Okay, all right. Good answer. Yeah, do you have something for me? You're perfect. Don't change. I won't. That's the title of this podcast. You're perfect. Don't change. You're perfect, guys. But some of you need to change a little bit because I don't want to live in an America where no one is single unless you want to be. But let's get out there. Let's get married. We need to make families again. The birth rate started to rise and now guess what? Guess what, guys? Because you're eating fast food and there's a bunch of plastic in your body and you're drinking from high school. That's the birth rate. We're not making babies anymore. We're not falling in love anymore. We are settling. All right. You're going to scare the workers. He was like working on the staircase. Finally, he ran away. Guys, if you want to hear the rest of that song, go to my TikTok. It'll be on there right now. Don't talk for a little bit. Naveen has a YouTube video queued up on her channel. Don't ever go in my YouTube again. I didn't go into your YouTube. You told me about it. She has a YouTube video queued up in her channel and it's about relationships and it's just her talking and she's too afraid to post it. I'm not afraid of anything. She's too afraid. It's just cringy. She's too afraid to post it. So guys, I want you to comment right now. Naveen, post that video. Post that video. We want to see. Start a channel. I mean, the channel's already there. It's made. She's got her cute little picture up there and she's too afraid to post it. Did you see my little banner? Yeah. Yeah, it's really cute. Yeah, it's cute. All right. We love you guys. Bye.