I'm 27 And Supporting My Parents (It's Crushing Me)

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. I'm just calling. I am 27 years old. I still currently live with my parents. I am $35,000 to $45,000 in debt. That's with credit cards, two vehicle loans, and personal loans. And I make roughly $32,000 to $3,500 a month. I work two jobs, and I'm going to school. And I'm just, you know, very overwhelmed, and I just feel like I'm financially behind in life. So did you say you had two car debts? Yes. It's a 2021 Hyundai Elantra and a 2018 Denali. The Elantra, I have about $11,000 left on it. The Denali, I have $21,000 left on it. Are you married? I am not. Why do you have two cars? The 2021 Hyundai Elantra is mine. The 2018 Denali is my father's. He is disabled, so he is on a fixed income, and he had no vehicle. He had one, but that broke down on him, and we both needed reliable cars. So that, I believe, looking back on it, was too much of a burden to take on. Yeah, you need to sell it. You can't afford the Denali. It's one of your problems. What's the nature of your father's disability? He has nerve damage, and he has severe arthritis in his hands, so some days... You said you're living with your parents. Your mom is involved too? Yes. She is the only one working besides me. What does she make? She makes about $20 an hour. Okay, and your dad has disability income coming in, I assume? Yes. Is this just SSI, or was he military? It's SSI, but I guess something came up. They said that my mom makes too much money, so they're threatening to cut it off. No, there's not a thing where the spouse makes too much money if someone's permanently disabled. Your mom can make $800,000 a year, and your dad still gets his disability SSI. So somebody's confused somewhere on the messaging. Okay, so here's the deal. Your dad's income from disability and your mom's $20 an hour adds up together to determine what kind of car they pay cash for. Hey, what's up, guys? It's Jade. Listen, my husband and I drive used vehicles, and we really do plan on keeping those running for a long time, so we trust Christian Brothers Automotive to take care of them. Their team is honest, their shops are super clean, and what I love is they don't try to upsell us on things that we don't need. I personally feel really confident walking into Christian Brothers, because I know that no one's going to try to take advantage of me or scare me into unneeded repairs. Christian Brothers gets it. So schedule a service today at cbac.com slash Ramsey and get 10% off your visit. That's up to a $250 value. See stores for details. Your dad's income from disability and your mom's $20 an hour adds up together to determine what kind of car they pay cash for. And they manage their lives. They're like grown-ups and stuff, and the denial is gone. You are way too broke to be supporting other people. That's why you're stuck. How does that hit you, Jay? It hits me, but I've seen it, and I've looked at the numbers. I've known it for a while, and it's like a realization. I'm just the mean guy that said it all out loud. Well, it just hurts because I want to help. I want you to be able to help, but you're not helping. You're hurting. Because you've quote, you guys have woven together a situation that is not good for any of you. And that can happen. You can do the wrong thing out of a good heart, right? And you got a great heart. You're trying to help your dad. I appreciate you doing that. That's good. That's a good man. Okay. Trying to help your mom. And you're living there, so you feel like you owe them, because you do. That's okay. I get all of that. That's fine. But basically, all the debt you're feeling are these two cars. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's basically all of it. If you didn't have the Denali payment in your life, all of a sudden, it starts working again. Yeah, and then we begin to work extra like a crazy man and clear up the credit card debt, clear up your little $11,000 car debt, and you'd be debt-free in, gosh, about a year. But, um, cause you don't have any overhead. You're not paying rent, right? No, no, I'm not. Yeah. I mean, and you're buying some food maybe and stuff for the house and maybe paying a light bill or something, but you don't have much overhead. So, you know, basically we're talking about, you know, $2,500 a month, which is $30,000 a year that you could be throwing in debt. And that means you're debt-free in a year. Of course we're getting rid of the Denali too, but that's part of the equation. But yeah, once that's gone and you do these things and then mom and dad scratch together a little bit of money and they go buy a five, $6,000 car and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with five or $6,000 car. You can get a lot of car for five or six grand. It's not pretty, but it's reliable. And you're not trying to win any sex appeal jobs. Anyway, they aren't at their age, they don't need to pick up a date. They're fine. So, I mean, you know, that's it. So, and then you start working to get out on your own and, um, and you can emotionally support them and coach them and be there for them and drop by some, uh, drop by dinner occasionally for them and that kind of stuff. And then you start your own life and that's going to be the best thing ever happened to them and to you. How will that conversation go with your parents, Jay? Um, I think it will go very well. Yes. I, we, we, I have a great relationship with my parents and my dad is always telling me that he wants me to win. He wants me to do better than he did. So yeah, that's wonderful. That's a very supportive environment. And how much is that payment a month? Which one? The Denali Denali is five Oh eight. Yep. Wow. Really? I would've, I would've guessed double. Okay. But, um, it's the same. So yeah, I, I, I don't think it's good for them to have that burden. And I know it's not good for you. The car, that, that, that car was, Oh, you had a valid need and you purchased about four times as much car you should have, or five times as much part you should have to cover your dad's need. And, and then that's when it exposed all this other stuff. Cause when you put stress on that budget, all the little stupid things are really exposed. Then you can kind of get away with those and forget about them until you put stress on it. You know, and I could see how all, you know, it's $21,000 Denali, you know, versus a brand new $90,000. Right. So he's probably thinking in his head as he's doing it. Oh, this is a good deal. Okay. It's not crazy. Like I can, and then, but here's the problem are these small, these purchases, small purchases that we make start when we justify them, you put them in the whole picture of your math and a $500 car payment making, what was it? 3,500 a month. That's what he said. Yeah. Starts to $40,000 a year for a $20,000 car eating, eating away. Yep. With another $11,000 and another $11,000 car and credit card. Yeah. So that's, that's what you got to do. So hang on, Jay, I'm going to send you a copy of the book, the total money makeover that shows you exactly how to do the baby steps that we talk about here. And we're also going to sign you up for every dollar or a budgeting app, and it'll hold your hand as you walk through this process. But beans and rice, rice and beans. And what will happen is, is you'll get a new level of energy when you have a clear path and you can map out, I'm going to knock that debt off. And then I'm going to knock that debt off. And then by this date, I'm going to be completely free. And then I'm going to save my good three to six months down payment. And you know, by somewhere in that line timeline is when you decide you're going to move out on your own and all of these things come together and you get out on your own and you're debt free and you've got $10,000 in the bank. You're a different, you're a different guy. It puts you in a whole different world. And what's wild is all that can happen in 18 months less being, well, being debt free and saving up $10,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. You're right. Good point. Yeah. That and, and only 18 months. And think about where you were 18 months ago, about right here. So nothing changed. Nothing changes until something changes. So hang on, we're going to send you a copy of the total money makeover and get you moving here, my man gets you moving. So Rachel, I would say that in 30 years of doing this, that a high percentage and I'll call it maybe even 90% of the people that are struggling with money issues, um, have they're either struggling with their spouse or they're struggling with some other family members with money. There's a relational component. Nine out of 10. There's a relational component, a negative relational component to about nine out of 10 people that are having money problems. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.