Gewaltfreie Kommunikation nach Marshall Rosenberg - gewaltfrei kommunizieren | ERZIEHERKANAL

Violence-free communication should help to improve communication, to solve conflicts peacefully and to create more joy, trust and empathy in the communicative interaction between people. After this video you will get to know the concept of violence-free communication with its four steps in detail. I will also give you a very concrete example for a conversation situation. Hi and welcome to a new video. In this video it is about the violence-free communication after Marshall Rosenberg. On the Erzieher-Kanal there is at least one video every week about topics of the educational profession. Feel free to leave a free subscription to not miss any more videos and to support the work behind the Erzieher-Kanal. And now, have fun with the video. What is violence-free communication? The concept of violence-free communication was developed by Marshall Rosenberg. The concept represents a concrete communication technique, but much more a position. Properly applied, violence-free communication, also called GFK, should lead to a better flow of communication with more joy and trust between people. The concept is not only limited to the professional and professional context, but can also be used wonderfully in private and personal use. It can be used for peaceful conflict solutions in everyday life. Rosenberg emphasized several times that violence-free communication is not just about a single technique, but about an attitude of self-awareness, with the inner attitudes and needs, as well as the willingness to empathize and open communication with other people. In his seminars and workshops, Marshall Rosenberg used the name of the giraffe language for his concept of violence-free communication as a playful explanation. The counterpart of violence-free communication is the life-alienating communication. He called it the wolf language. I will also go into this in this video. The basic assumptions of violence-free communication Certain basic assumptions of violence-free communication are based on communication and social interaction. We want to take a quick look at these now. Above all, Rosenberg described that empathy represents the basic prerequisites for successful communication. The concept of violence-free communication assumes that people seek an empathic connection to fellow humans, that they are social beings and have a basic need to understand others, but also to be understood. Another basic assumption is that any form of violence represents a tragic expression of an unfulfilled need. People do not become aggressive or violent because they are simply evil, but because they have an unfulfilled need. The next point of the basic assumptions also applies to this point. Every human being himself is responsible for his feelings and needs. It is about recognizing these, communicating, balancing and finding social solutions. So it's not about having to meet every need of the human being. If Jonas plays intense and loud in the corner, then Julia could be annoyed because she has a need for peace. The annoyance towards Julia therefore arises from her unfulfilled need. Jonas' behavior is the trigger, the signal, that Julia's need for peace has not been met so far. Tina, for example, also plays so intensely in the corner and does not feel disturbed by Jonas at all. She is even happy because her need for entertainment and action is met by Jonas' loudness. Whether a person feels attacked by the behavior of another person does not depend solely on the behavior of the other person, but also strongly on the person's own need. The distinction between life-alienating communication and violent communication Before we get to the four steps of violent communication and I will give you a very specific example, we want to look at the properties of life-alienating communication in advance. The life-alienating communication is also called the wolf language by Marshall Rosenberg. The use of this language leads to conflicts, blocks an empathic and social interaction and offers the foundation for physical, i.e. physical violence, in addition to psychological violence. Let's look at the four properties of life-alienating communication that Rosenberg calls here. 1. Judgment towards the communication partner. This mainly includes negative attributions of properties. 2. The making of comparisons. This means that the communication partner is compared to another person, in the worst case to point out his avoidable behavior. Rosenberg also calls this a form of judgment. 3. The denial of responsibility for one's own feelings and actions. An example sentence for this property would be, I'm always in such a bad mood because of you. 4. Demands, requests, requests. Demands give the communication partner the feeling of having no other choice, in the worst case of his freedom to be robbed and humiliated. By a request, you give the communication partner the opportunity to decide freely what he wants to do. At the same time, you take into account the needs. But now let's get to the concrete application of the action concept of violent communication. Rosenberg calls here four individual steps that contribute to a violent communication. Step 1. The objective observation and description of the situation. A possible objective description of the situation without mixing it up with interpretations or assessments. The communication partner is to be told what it is about. The observation must be separated from the assessment. It is important to do without generalizing and evaluating words. So, for example, words like never, always, again, as always, nobody, everyone, etc. Step 2. The feelings. In this step, it is important to be aware of which feeling was triggered by the situation. Step 3. The need behind the feeling. Which need is behind the triggered feeling? Rosenberg defines a feeling as a kind of indicator of which need is currently present and prevailing in people. A need can be, for example, security or understanding. At this point, a short interruption. Are you still writing your written final exam in this school year and wish for more intensive preparation? Then I have just the right thing for you. The online preparation course for the written final exam. In this course, you will receive video material for over three hours, but we process several complete final exams step by step. There are valuable tips for preparation for the exam, such as learning techniques, memory tips, formulating aids, an overview of the 50 most important basic theories with linked learning videos, information on what teachers pay attention to when evaluating, checklists, to-do lists, daily and weekly plans, and much more. For more information, click on the first link in the video description. But let's continue with this learning video. Step 4. Formulate a request. In this step, you can orient yourself on the fourth property of life-altering communication, which means that demands are worse than requests. By a request, you give a communication partner the choice and the opportunity to decide freely what he wants to do. At the same time, you take into account the needs. It is often difficult for people to talk about their feelings, especially in tense conflict situations. This is not uncommonly so far that people even shy away from conflicts. Talking about feelings is not necessarily necessary in violent communication, because you can talk about needs. Now let's come to an example and a conversational situation from pedagogical practice. After that, I will mention an example for life-altering communication and one for violent communication. Imagine the following situation. A mother complained behind the back of a teacher about this at the kindergarten. The reason was that the mother had the feeling of being rejected by the teacher and not being taken seriously. The mother wanted to know something about the development of her child between door and fishing. The teacher was clearly briefly involved and answered the mother's question with just one short sentence. The mother accuses the teacher of unprofessionalism and insists on a conversation with the teacher. Also in this she keeps the statement and the accusations about the teacher due to the situation. Let's start with an example for life-altering communication from the teacher's point of view about the mother's accusations in the conversation. Again and again you make so much stress. The other parents don't react as well as you do. You can't expect me to have a lot of time to talk to them extensively about the development of their child during the pickup phase. Because of them I have so much stress now and the management is also involved. What kind of light does that cast on me? Next time they agree on an appointment for a development conversation and don't run straight to the management. In this statement, all four properties of life-altering communication are included. As you can see, this statement is clearly aggressive, unempathetic and full of conflict potential. The same situation with the four steps of violence-free communication. Last week on Thursday they asked me about information on the development status of their son. At that time we were in the group, especially in the pickup phase, where over 20 children are picked up by their parents. Many people want something from me and the situation was really scary. This requires the utmost concentration from me. I want to be fair to everyone, make sure that everyone is picked up and briefly give the parents the most important information of the day. Unfortunately, there is no time for more intense conversations in the phase. I am a bit irritated by the current situation and find it a shame that they did not discuss this conflict with me personally on another day in a calmer phase. I would like to discuss such important topics with you in peace. A development conversation requires preparation and a quiet environment. If you want a development conversation, I ask you to arrange an appointment with us for this. Both examples of communication come from the same situation, but the conflict potential is totally different. I hope that I was able to help you with this video and that you now understand violence-free communication a little better. If so, please leave a thumbs up on this video.