"결국 저를 만나게 됩니다" 5만 명 상담한 이혼변호사가 뜯어말리는 최악의 결혼 (신은숙 변호사 2부)

About three years ago, a wife came to me for counseling. She said she wasn't happy. She said she couldn't be treated like a human being. If you don't have money, you'll get divorced. That's what you think, right? It's not true. Do you think about the economic aspect of marriage? If you ask me, I do. I'm 100% sure. So how much will this affect? How much do you think of this as a condition in marriage? In this regard, It depends on the type of economic power. From the wife's point of view, Rather than the current income, husband's future vision, How much property do you start with when you get married? Or how much will the family support you? For example, house, car, various financial parts to raise children. When this part starts, How much do you have from the start? I think there's a lot of thinking. In the case of men, It would be nice if my wife had it when she got married. Rather than that, How much will the future income that is generated every month after marriage through labor will help? I think this part is more important. The difference is, Traditionally, when we get married, The man comes home, The wife takes care of the child, I think this fixed concept of being a full-time housewife is still affecting us. The reason is that our parents in their 60s and 70s have lived like that. It started when our country couldn't live as a whole. Isn't it a generation that has lost its current fire? So they have a lot to do for their children. From their point of view, The man is still responsible for that part. From the wife's point of view, Raising children well is helping. Because I have this kind of accident, I think I'm getting that kind of influence from time to time. So, what matters about money is, The wife's husband is the same, Is it from the start? Is it after that? I think there's a little difference in that part. Of course, it's my counseling experience. There's a question I always ask when I'm counseling these days. How did you two meet? About 20 years ago, I met him on a blind date. There are a lot of cases like this. These days, In my opinion, about 30% of the ratio, I met him through a marriage information company. There are a lot of cases like this. And then there's a mobile phone app. The ratio of meeting through that It's not half, but it's pretty high. But when those people choose a divorce, It's simple. It doesn't fit the conditions I introduced there. I loved him so much. Why did you do that? I was hurt by love. I was betrayed. It's not a traditional reason. He said he had two houses. How much is your job? How much do you earn a year? How long does your in-laws live? He said he'd buy me a house anytime. That didn't work. And then when my wife got married, He said he'd pay for it. I didn't buy it for him. Oh, my God. There's a lot of reasons like this. In the stories they come up with, I loved him. There's not this much of a story like this. If that's the case, Most of them are married under the conditions. And when the conditions are broken, Especially in the important part, If the big one is broken, I think it's easy to choose a divorce. I met him with affection. I love you so much with a passionate feeling. I thought I'd die if I didn't see you. Let me go and say bye-bye. It's so hard. Compared to this kind of marriage, Looking at the conditions to some extent, I think I'll live this much. When the marriage conditions were not established, Choose a divorce really easily. There's a difference like this. I feel it a lot. About three years ago, A wife came to the consultation. It looks rich. It's not just a luxury brand. We're used to that. Those of you who always wear hanbok, There's something that goes well with hanbok. As such, live a rich life. If you've been eating good food for a long time, If you wear good clothes, It's a shame. So, just by looking at it, A rich young wife came. She said she wasn't happy. So she wanted to end it. But her husband said he didn't want a divorce. Why do you want to get a divorce? So basically, my family lives well. It's very rich. Then it's economically stable. What's the problem? My husband is working, too. It's our money. It's my money. My husband doesn't give me that much. I live like that with my family's money. My husband doesn't bring me that much. She's not happy. And what should I say? The level doesn't match. She said that. She was in trouble. So I can't get a divorce for that reason. That's what I said. But what's in their heads? Money is what I need. You have to be on the same level on both sides. That's what I think. But I'm on the third floor. My husband's on the first floor. It doesn't fit. So what's in their heads? It's a little different, but... Thinking, meeting people, Wearing, eating, I think the level of conversation and education are all different. So the child I gave birth to is on this side. And then the husband and his wife are on that side. It's going to separate and get farther away. So from the point of view of a rich wife, I'm not happy to live with my husband who doesn't have money. But how did I convince her to send her? I thought about it from the point of view of her husband. Then would your husband be happy? Then from the point of view of my wife, I'm expressing my husband as a rich husband. Yeah, good. As your wife said, give up 100 times. Let's say you got married for money. Would your husband be happy to get married for money? I said, what do you mean? I didn't think about it. And they all have a golf membership card. But my husband didn't buy me a golf membership card. But he likes golf so much. He doesn't have a membership card. To me, to my brother, to my father. He keeps asking me to book it. That's why my brother said that one day. Does your husband like golf that much? That's how he expressed it. So I said to my wife, How bad would your husband feel? Think about it. How much is the golf membership card? Why didn't you just buy me this? That's what I'm talking about. Because you were born in a poor family. You have to live like that. Do you have a golf membership card? That's what I'm thinking right now. Then my husband is not a stupid person. Can't he feel it? Would my husband be happy? Every time I book a golf course, Other people say, Hey, I'm glad you got married into a rich family. I heard your family is so rich. Book a golf course. That's what you're gonna do. You don't even have a membership card. If you ask me every time, Don't you know you're doing it for real? Then get married to a rich family. Now, talk to your wife. Tell me three things you like about your husband. He didn't say a word to me. You guys, too. Let's talk to people who are so different. What made you happy when you got married to a rich spouse? Of course, there are cases where you say that. Wives are more worried. More than men. I got married to a rich family. He was really helpful. He acted like a maid. They're rich. I'm the only maid. That's what's in his head. How did you get married to my son? You just need to raise your status at once. It's like this. But where's your essence? And that's what my husband says. You got married to me. Mrs. Segeomjeong. Mrs. Cheongdamjeong. You just need to let me hear you. And then you bought me a foreign car. Why did you buy me a foreign car? After giving birth to a child, Take my grandchildren safely. He bought me a big car like a tank. That's what the wives are talking about. They don't accept me as a family. Then where do you get these complaints? People are all like that. Yeah. If you die as a stepmother, it's all yours. When are you going to die? With all my young youth. I'm desperately sick, too. My parents are dying. That's when you get married? I really want to ask the rich people. Why are you doing this? Why? With that money. You can't do that. Then don't get me married. You can help me. Married to a rich family. Wives are more painful. I don't think husbands can be treated very well. Of course, those who come to get divorced. You can't be treated humanly. I don't accept it as a family theory. They go abroad and get married. They don't do that to me. Why? You're from a rich family. That's your identity. Do you think it's right for you to put a luxury on it? I'm dealing with this kind of accident. And good. I bought you a house when you got married. Thank you for sending the kids to kindergarten, which costs millions of won a month. Thank you. Come every week. Set up a table every weekend. Say hello once a day. And then. It's true. It's not a lie. If the in-laws ask you to come, Your parents-in-law are sitting on the sofa. My daughter-in-law is on the floor. Sit on your knees and listen to me. It's true. But I didn't tell you to get a divorce. But I'm trying to live like someone else. I don't live like a child. Put on good clothes for the kids. I'm sending you to a good school. I'm going to get a divorce. I left my child at my in-laws' house. Are you confident that you won't see me? He can't live. Then good. Bring him out. Like now. Buy a good one. Spend millions of won at school. Can you do it? I can't. Then what should I do? My wife is already in a wealthy house. Of course, you're not like that. My child. The standard of living in a wealthy house has risen to this point. How do you want me to go down to the floor again? I can't go down. The movie I saw a long time ago. Fair Lady? The actress. She was a woman of a lower status. But today, the professor. I think it was a joke. Shall I teach you? Like a normal woman? I'm going to teach you some really sophisticated words and manners. So I got you into the upper class. I succeeded. I didn't even notice that people were lower class. Sophisticated way of speaking, body language, and manners. That's what I'm talking about. So I celebrate. Cheers, cheers. But at this point, the woman says sadly. How do I live from now on? With this body language and tone. I can't go down to the floor and live like I used to. But I don't have the property or the job to live in the upper class. How do I live? This was really impressive to me. My wife's husband is like that. He's married to a rich family. The kids are already grown up. What am I supposed to do? I can't even get a divorce. To such a person. I didn't let him in because it wasn't a good house from the beginning. You can't do all the bad things. In my opinion, if you do this. One of your family members will be punished. That's what I think. So when I see them. I told you to choose a divorce. I can't say it. Because I'm already in the upper class. People who adapt to a rich family. To those who can't go back. Divorce me. I really can't say this irresponsible thing. So if I really go to them. I feel very uncomfortable for a few days. It's very bad. Is that the only way? But that's what people who choose a divorce say in common. I don't fit in with that society. That's what it is. So would I be happy if I married a rich man? I'm the cashier myself. I'm not sure I can say that. To be honest. It's good to marry a rich family. Oh, if it's not like that. Because economic stability is very important. I'm not sure if I'm going to buy a house. I'm not sure if I'm going to have a good job. I'm really heartbroken about this. In the past, there was no Korea. It was an era where everyone had to work hard. Eat so hard. Raising children. I teach them everything. Buying a house. It's not a generation like this. If that's the case. Economic stability is very important to young people. Especially the house. Housing is very important. Because of that. To be honest. It's good to marry a rich family. But people who say they're going to divorce like this. From the economic difference. They're already nobles. This is called Pyongri. If you say you can't overcome the accident, I'm so unhappy. It's actually good to meet people who are economically similar. Because it's the same level of thinking. And then eating, wearing. It's similar to what you're wearing. There are people who come to me with luxury goods. Was it 15 years ago? You're wearing a 5-carat diamond ring. It's too big. It's fake. From their point of view. Ordinary people who can't wear a ring. You must look scary. That kind of economic difference. I couldn't overcome it. If you wear a 5-carat diamond ring. There are a lot of people who think they're nobles. There's a difference in status. I don't want to marry people who think. Then, if you marry people who are economically compatible. Actually, there's a wide range of understanding. There's a wide range of understanding. I have my own life. I have an accident. I have things to use. The scope of the accident is similar. But if you listen to people who are married, They go to the department store and buy luxury goods. And then they buy one. Cheap, on sale. I'm going to buy you a February product. In my head, I don't think these people are the same as me. There are a lot of people who don't do it. So economically similar people. First of all, a good couple. And then there's another good thing. It's okay if you don't have an in-law. Some of the people who said they were going to get divorced. Especially the wives talk a lot about that. Oh, my family has some money economically. But my in-laws are so poor. Oh, my mother nagged me. If you look at the food I made today, There are cases like this. So when there's an economic difference, Strangely enough, It was a matter of status. It was a matter of career. I say this. Just because I don't have money. Even in the in-laws' house, Or to my daughter-in-law. There are quite a few cases where I'm ignored by my son-in-law. It's a shame to see this. So economically, I think it's a good thing. Oh, of course. Affection is the basis. That's the basis. Actually, I'm a little disappointed. Because It's sexual satisfaction that only love works. If you need 100 things in marriage, 99 things don't work. Of course, these 99 inconveniences I can overcome that affection. I can't make it completely. I can't create it. But if you say you only have love, To be honest, To some extent, economic problems It has to be solved. The economic problem is that Two people are empty. Because I have a job. A certain amount of income can be steadily generated. You can do it step by step. Or Even if you don't have one side, I can live on my own. High income. In the in-laws' house or in-laws' house. There's some support. If you do this, you can maintain that love. Actually, that's what it is. Can I drive a car without a tow truck? That's what I'm talking about. You can roll it. You can push it from behind. But a car is I'm telling you to drive with a tow truck. It's better to push it from behind. Rather It's that hard. If you don't have money, it's pretty hard. And Oh, that love? I can't go for a few days. There's that old saying. When poverty opens the door, happiness goes out the window alone. So it's a very important problem. Sometimes Once every three months. I was in a relationship in high school. You two were in a relationship and were expelled. I had a baby. This part. I met him as soon as I entered college. I was so opposed. You two live in the wild. I had a baby. I'm in my early thirties. He's already graduated from elementary school. There are times like this. In the case of a wife, Actually, if you're pregnant and give birth, There are times when you can't work for a while. I went to work until the day before I had a baby. I worked and did the dishes. I went to the mart and worked. My husband doesn't have enough time to work during the day. I drive at night. I go out on the weekend and work part-time. I worked so hard that I couldn't rest. I grew up like this. But I can't do it anymore. I'm going to get a divorce for another reason. I can't tell you about the economic hardships. I'm really... Let's be honest. If my child wants to get married like that, Raise your hand if you agree. There's not a single one. Not a single one. I can do that myself. So the economic stability. Of course, I stopped it. How much did your parents stop you? Then I won't look at it. When I stopped it like that, They didn't know that. I love you so much. I thought I'd die if I didn't see you. I did it because I thought I'd die. Do you die if you don't have love? I'll die if I can't eat. I'll die if I can't drink water. It's minus 15 degrees. Do you want to live in a place where there's no heating? I'm going to freeze to death. That's why money is so precious. It's important. And then we're going to make our love closer. I'm going to continue. It's a really essential element. I think you should teach this. Of course, that's too clear. It's a problem to emphasize love. So I'm into material things. That's why humans are inferior. Don't say that. We can't live without it. Of course, I can walk to Busan. Come on. I'm going to take the KTX. So marriage is the basis of passionate love. Economic stability is absolutely important. These two elements need to be balanced together. Happy marriage life And you can raise healthy children. And of course, to your parents. I'm going to give you this much. First, don't look at people. There's nothing wrong with the old saying. Do you eat your face off? You're talking about this. Why do I say that? I'm sorry to the pretty and handsome people. Honestly, you pay for your face. You don't have to pay for your face. What should I do? There's a glow on your face. You're getting crowded. That's why there's so much temptation around you. And strangely enough, It's rare for a pretty and handsome man to marry. God doesn't give it all. If you give me a man who's smart and has a good life, A little bit of a face. If you say you're getting a very pretty wife, Economic ability is nothing. But now that I look at it, There's a lot of temptation from the good side. There's a sense of inferiority in the relatively less-characteristic side. In the case of a wife, My husband is so handsome. Once upon a time, I went on a show. Do you know how handsome the announcer is? If you look at it in person, The makeup shop is even more handsome. So my wife is worried at home. I can't. There are so many pretty women in the broadcasting station. So he always calls home four times a day. Honey, what am I doing now? Did you eat something? I'm afraid my wife will be nervous. Oh, I was touched then. There aren't many handsome men and pretty women who are considerate like this. He's good at it. He's just standing there. That's why the spouse is nervous at home. So it's not depression or depression. He's always standing like this. He's very unhappy. In this respect, If you have a good personality, Of course, it's good to see. My daughter-in-law, my son-in-law, my spouse. I want you to think about it a little bit. It's not all like that. And I'm trying to talk about this. It's like the Latte Generation. Admit it. Latte Generation I like a harmonious family. It's not about me. It's what people around me say. I don't have a harmonious family. Because there are people who are divorced. But that's what people around me say about marriage. People who grew up in a stable family to some extent. They don't have a bad personality. They have a lot of understanding. They have a lot of patience. I think you should look at the spouse. Even if it's a divorced family, How bright they grew up. You have to make sure you have a positive face. If you talk to them a few times, There are people who are sharp and sensitive. Oh, that's good for an analyst or a scholar. What did you just say? Mother, did you really see it with your eyes? Did you check it out? Is that true? If you do this, it's a problem for the family. Is there a negative accident? I think you can look at this part. If there's only a positive accident, In fact, the composition of the family is not important. Anyway, do you have a positive accident? I hope you watch this. And then you have to look at his potential abilities. Not too deep potential abilities. In the present, economic power. How much can you earn? Can you have a job? I think you should look at this. You have to be careful about this. It's not just for the son. Now, the wife and the daughter-in-law. You have to look at the economic power. That's how my son doesn't suffer too much. That's what mothers say. These days, when parents come to their son's divorce, They're very disappointed in those parts. I don't know if it's because my son earns enough. My daughter-in-law can work enough. For the economic stability of the family. I can contribute to some extent. I don't do it. You say a lot that you don't do it on purpose. How much do you two get along? Can you have an economy while bargaining? I think you see a lot of these things these days. This is it. When you're about the same age as your daughter-in-law, You're usually over 50. Who has the main power in this family? The wife has it. But my husband, who has a lot of experience in social life, He's more accurate. Don't look down on your husband. Wives. I want you to judge together. There's no way to ask well. Everyone is embarrassed. If you ask me to give it to you, First of all, I feel bad. I'm thinking about getting married. Brother, do you have a debt? If you ask me, What's this? Before dating and getting married, I have to pay first. That's what happens. It's very difficult to ask. And to a young woman. My mother-in-law went and said, Yes, how much did you save? Don't you have a debt? How long will your parents delay when you get married? If you ask me, If I were you, I'd say, That's it. I thought I'd say this. Strangely, I don't like money. I can't live without money. Money is so important. I want to live for money. And then I want to make money. I don't like to talk about it. Especially when you get married. So it's not pure. That's how I express it. What's pure? I don't understand. It's very difficult to ask. If it were me, I think I'd do that. Brother, how much have I worked so far? How much is your salary now? I think I can do this when I get married. I think he'll ask me like this. Talk to me first. That's how you eat. Strangely, you're talking about mine. You ask me first. Don't ask me like this. Brother, I do this and this. If you ask me like this, No, I'll tell you this first. I'm asking you mine. That's right. Can't you reduce the sense of duty a little bit? And then mine is mine. Yours is ours. If you have such an accident, That's what happens when you get divorced. I brought the house when I got married. Except for this. What's the approach to marriage? That's what they say. Then do you know what the judge says? Mine is mine. Is yours ours? So the couple put it together and calculate it together. Except for mine. Just show me yours. Just tell me how much yours is. Let's just use yours. This isn't going to work. So it's very difficult to ask. I'll tell you what's mine. If you ask me, Maybe I'll talk positively. That's what I thought. But what if... It's very unnecessary. I don't like it. And then I don't want to reveal it. There's something, right? At that time, don't just overcome it with love. I asked you while I was revealing mine. I won't teach you. I won't teach you until I die. That's why you're getting divorced. One of the few people who come to get divorced. It's one of the few societies. I'm... Not how much my husband pays for living expenses. I don't know how much he gets paid. I don't know how much he saved. There are a lot of people like this. And the husbands to their wives. My wife took all my income. You're making money, too. How much did you get paid? I don't know how much you're investing. There are a lot of cases like this. So about property, about economic power. Not revealing income. This is another one of the representative societies that makes you lose affection. So when you're in a good relationship before you get married, What about you? I asked you, but you didn't teach me. I won't teach you until I die. Even so, if you're going to get married, do it. Instead, don't be curious forever. The common point is that the conversation continues endlessly. If you look at their characteristics, I'm happy to get married and live happily. I'm happy. I don't think so. I know all the facial expressions. They naturally have liveliness on their faces. The conversation continues endlessly. That conversation is not a trivial daily conversation in my opinion. For example, when we went to the salad bar yesterday, Compared to this store, it's this way. Especially the size of the pants is very fresh. Right? You did, too. I liked it, too. You and I have the same taste. I don't think there's anything to talk about. They have a lot of fun talking like this. And there's no end to the conversation. It's so loud when you're sitting next to me. And I recently went on a trip with someone who lives a very happy life. I couldn't stand it. I can't see it. Do you know what you do when you wake up in the morning? Kakao Talk Face Talk? I've never done it in my life. Turn it on and do your daily life. Put it on the dressing table and turn it on. I went to the bathroom, took a shower, put on makeup, and brought it. Honey, what are you doing? He was looking at the computer monitor like this. I did that, too. Uh, where's your grandson? What? I don't think I can do it because it's uncomfortable. And then I sat next to him. Come here, Shin-bae. Say hello. Yes, hello. Oh, you know them. I can't help but look at them. But when I see them, I'm constantly curious about the other person. What are you doing? What did you eat? What are you thinking? What are you talking about now? What are you going to wear today? You've never done this before, have you? They're like that. So if you have a good conversation and you're happy, I'm constantly curious about the other person. It's touching. But the fact that you're curious about the other person itself. You know him. I think he's a good man. I'm this kind of person. Something like this. So it's not because he's rich because he's a gem. I'm the only one who's loved by my spouse. So I can't help but admit it. Oh, they're so happy. And then if you look at them, There's always one at the reunion. It's not that I have a lot of money. There are some kids who are so happy. Why? Because my husband looked like a princess. And then the boys are the same. The boys are so bright. Because my wife looks like a prince. So the characteristics of happy people are They talk a lot, they're interested, They protect the other person. It's very difficult. Do you want me to tell you something important? It doesn't cost money. It makes the other person so happy. And other people are jealous. Why can't you do that? Try it. Turn on FaceTalk from now on. Don't think you're watching what the other person is doing. I'm here and my husband's at work. I'm breathing all day with him. Try something like this. I was jealous. I'm getting a divorce for economic reasons. If you don't have money, you'll get a divorce. Do you think so? It's okay. When a couple starts, If there's a bean, I'll share half of it. 99.99% of people start like this. But the rich people don't care about the poor. The poor keep getting into trouble. That's how they're trying to get a divorce. A couple is supposed to have what they have. If you don't have it, you don't have it. That's how you're trying to live. But if you're here to get a divorce for money, Economic reasons. I told you that the whole divorce would be a double-wall. That's why I'm doing it. Because it breaks trust. It's not a matter of money. Do you eat steak for 200,000 won every day for three meals a day? I can't eat it because it's greasy. It's the same thing to eat. Because of that money, I... Others are worth a million won. I'm not unhappy that I can't make it worth 100,000 won. It's not that. The other person trusts it to some extent. I'm trying to live a stable life with you. Because it breaks my trust. It's broken because it makes me feel betrayed. And then if you look at the couple who lived for about 50 or 60 years, You've been through all the wars. You're kidding me. There's always one of those wars. I mean, the deposit fee. So I'm gonna have to pay the deposit fee. There's a story about EXO. I lent it to a friend. I didn't eat it. I didn't use it. I had to pay back the 10 million won I saved. There's a heartbreaking story that I can't help but cry. You've been through it all. You've lived for over 50, 60, 70 years. But why didn't it break? Especially because of the money. Because I didn't break my trust. If you're getting a divorce because of the money, It's not the amount of money. I'm disappointed in him. I didn't trust him. I want you to reflect on this.