How to make a man miss you (Counterintuitive)

How to make a man miss you. In today's video I'll talk about a concept that's closely related to my book and you'll see why a man will deeply and when a man will deeply miss a woman. For that, we need one major counterintuitive ingredient. You as the woman need to take control of the pace in the relationship. He has to believe that he's in the lead so he can be the man by asking you out, by later on asking you to marry him. But in all honesty, the woman should lead where the relationship is going. This is crucial. So what I want to focus on here now shortly is that you will need to pace him, especially when he's all over you. Especially then. Now, why is that? Well, some men burn themselves out quickly because the woman they're with didn't pace them. I coach a lot of women. I've been helping women and writing books for a long time and I've coached women who met a great guy, the first prince they finally met after all of those frogs they dated before and hallelujah, this guy was into them. But then he asks them out, he treats them well, he buys them flowers and a couple of months down the road, he even asks them to marry them. This is very strange. These are true stories. So the guy's all over them, asks the woman to marry him and would you say now that this guy is interested? Sure seems so, doesn't it? But the problem these women faced is that as they were preparing for the wedding, these princes bailed, called off the wedding and all ran for the hills. Multiple true stories. This happened multiple times. Now, what happened? These men burned themselves out. They gave everything they had so quickly that there was nothing left to give. But more importantly, these men got overwhelmed. And the stupid thing is that they are the ones who brought it upon themselves. These women did nothing wrong aside from the fact that they didn't pace it. Men are strange. So when a woman tells this type of guy, whoa, whoa, whoa, we should take things slow. Let's see where this goes first. These guys do not burn out and they stay in love for as long as the woman wants. Isn't that strange? What happens when you pace the relationship is that you create the necessary space for a man to miss you. That's when he can miss you. It's not the first time that I compare grown-up men to four-year-old boys. But what does a four-year-old boy do when he's at the playgrounds with his mommy? What does he do? He says, no, no, mommy, you can stay here, sit here, stay here, I can go all up there on my own. And then I can slide down on my own. You do not need to help, you can just stay there. And as a proud little man, he does just that. Yay, once. Yay, twice. And he feels like a man. For the first time, the little boy feels like a man. He's proud to show it to his mother how well he can do all of these things. But then the third time, there's a wasp that stings him or another boy that yells something nasty at him and he's a little bit shocked. What does our little boy do? He comes running back to mommy, his safe haven, right? That's what he will do. Men, regardless of their age, need time to go out and do their thing in the world all alone without their woman. And that's one of the things. These are the moments where he can feel like a man. And a man needs to feel like a man, just like a woman needs to feel like a woman. But these are also the moments where he will have experiences that make him miss you and want to be with you. That's why these moments are so crucial. You cannot be available right away when he misses you. Otherwise, he wouldn't miss you. Mommy is not in the slide with our little boy. He has to run back to her. He has to put in that effort. But more importantly, he has to decide, he needs her, that she's important. It's a decision. And this is very important because those are the moments where our little boy decides how important mommy is to him. This is when he realizes this. And these are the moments where grown up men will decide how important you are to him, how important you are in his life and how much he needs you. It's the moment where he misses you that he can decide this. And if he doesn't do it on his own, you need to force a man to withdraw every now and then by giving him his alone time. I'm going away with my girlfriends the entire weekend, so have fun. Oh, you want to go out on a date? Well, I can't this Tuesday, but what about next Thursday? Oh, you want to get married? Well, I can't this year, but what about next year? Maybe allow him enough space. And if he doesn't ask for it on his own, you as the woman will need to create it for him. He needs it. And this allows him to miss you and then to come back to you over and over again, because this needs to happen a lot. Now, this may sound very strange because most women are totally different, but to men, this is vital. You as the woman need to control the pace. I'm going to give you another example to further illustrate how important this is and how this works. Let's suppose that you have a great night with a guy and you stayed home together, you watched a movie under a blanket, there was some wine, there were long talks, there was some cuddling and one thing led to another and it was a great night. Now, the next morning, the both of you wake up next to each other in bed and you're smiling and you're still radiating. It was a great night, a great evening, a great everything. Now, it would be easy to say, let's do this again tonight or let's do this again next Friday, right? Of course, who wouldn't want to experience this again? Because you obviously connected, there was tons of chemistry, this was really great and you want to experience this again, but it would be a mistake. If you make yourself unavailable the next night or the next Friday, it doesn't matter whether he's watching TV all alone, sipping from his wine all alone, or whether he's sitting in an airplane, a private jet flying to Vegas with his best friends to have the best night of his life, he will be missing you deeply. Why? Well, his mind will continuously remind him of the great night he had with you. He will have a lot of flashbacks and images and moments and he will feel this, he will miss you a lot. He would, however, not have had this emotion of missing you if you sat next to him the next night or the next Friday. As the woman, you need to create sufficient space for him to miss you and that is hard because your mind and your body will want to spend time with him as much as possible. You can blame hormones like oxytocin for that. That's why you will want him to be next to you as much as possible, but it is a mistake and I hope you will not make it or stop making it if this is the first time that you realize this. I've loved making this video for you. If you want more, make sure that you read the description of the video. There's a link to my website where you can sign up to get my newsletter with more videos. If you want even more than that, make sure to read my books like this one or my Red Flags book and whatever you do, until the next time I see you in another video or an audio podcast, make sure that you make the right decisions in your relationships, in your love life, because that's tough, but that's where true romance and great moments are created. See you next time.