Interested Men Commit Much Faster to Women Who Understand This!

I get a ton of questions every week from women who had something great going with a guy, an interested great guy, so not a bad man, not the player type, not drunk before noon slacker type, no, a real trustworthy guy. And even though the dates were awesome and the relationship actually got started, even though he looked different than all of the frogs those women dated before, he still turned into a ghost and then disappeared completely. He may eventually resurface later on, but it's never the way it was before because something has changed. So in this video, we will dive into two of the reasons why this can possibly happen and what he will be thinking when he does this. I will also share some signs that he's about to do it and how you can then react. I'm an author. I write books about dating and relationships for women. I also write about other topics like handling difficult emotions. My real name is Geert. My much easier to pronounce pen name is Brian Knox. And wouldn't it be great if your guy, your boyfriend, your husband had some kind of battery level thing that you could turn to to see how well the relationship is going, to see how high his feelings for you are? Oh, so 80 percent. That's pretty awesome. That's pretty good. Let's just plan a date night. He just needs a little charge then. Wouldn't it be great if before a guy ghosts you or before a boyfriend breaks up with you, he would prepare you weeks in advance gently so you have time to accommodate? Sadly, none of this is possible. However, there are signs that he's about to ghost you. And there's a very interesting reason why it's possibly happening. So let's find out what is going on. And to be clear, this video is not about uninterested men. It's not about players. It's not about men that are bad for you. So this time it's about the right guy. It's about a guy who's interested in you and you're dating him or you have a relationship with him and all is well. And then suddenly, emphasis on suddenly here, it isn't well. All hell breaks loose, phantoms and ghosts everywhere. Pretty scary. Now, the first reason why a man may pull away is because it's a test and not necessarily because he's childish and, well, evil. But here's what may happen. He met you and he's attracted to you. He didn't know your feelings. So there's no sign of a relationship or anything serious in the future on the horizon. So it will feel safe to him. There's no pressure yet. You go out on a couple of dates. He's still very attracted to you. And he starts to love your personality as well now that he got to know you. And for the first time, he starts to wonder where that relationship is going, where all of this is going. So the pressure rises. And then comes the day where you truly fall for him, where you open up about your feelings for him, where you may say that you want to be exclusive, where you say you want to stop dating other people and start an official relationship. Now he's no longer unsure. Now he knows where this is going. So while the first pearls of sweat start to appear on his forehead, he may think, It's getting hot in here. Am I ready for a relationship? Do I want one? Do I want one with her? Is she relationship material? Am I ready to give up my life as a bachelor and all that freedom? Am I able to make her happy? And many other questions like these. So it's getting serious now. He's going to take a step back to assess the situation, to get some altitude. And we can't blame him because let's be honest, starting a long-term relationship is serious. And he's a good guy in this example. So he doesn't want to play with your heart. He wants to make sure he can deliver, that he can give you what you want in that relationship so you can feel loved by him. But the problem now is that when their lover suddenly pulls away, a lot of women and men when put in the same situation, but a lot of women will now freak out. They start to show their most needy and weakest side at the worst moment in time in that relationship. Test failed, of course. So that was reason number one. And here's another one of the often overlooked reasons why a good man can ghost you. Sometimes a guy can be really into you, but then something you did freaks him out. Here's why. Has it ever happened to you that after many years of not hearing it, you hear a song that you really liked, let's say five summers ago, while you were having the best summer of your life? And just hearing those beats makes you feel sunny, happy, optimistic, content. Again, just like you did during that awesome summer five years ago. That's Pavlovian conditioning. All the good and happy and positive feelings that you felt five summers ago are linked up to that sound in your memory. That's awesome. That's an awesome system until it isn't. Because sadly, this also works the other way around, of course. So let's say that your guy or your boyfriend has been with another woman before you. Let's hope that he has been. And that that woman made him feel miserable for some reason. But now you do something that reminds him of her. This time, five dark and cold winters ago. So all of those bad feelings pop up. All of the warning lights, all of the alarm bells will go off automatically, even when you are nothing like her. Now before you think, immature men? This has nothing to do with immaturity, of course. This can happen to anyone. There are psychological reasons behind this system. If a scorpion, for example, painfully bit you one day, stung you, and you were in pain for a week, then your brain is supposed to remember that scorpions can be dangerous. Your brain needs to keep you away from everything that even remotely looks like a scorpion. So let's say that his ex was really needy and jealous. Or she always nagged, she always yelled at him, she suffocated him. She needed reassurance all the time. Or worse, she cheated and she left him for the type of guy he truly hates. Or let's suppose that one day he walked into the bedroom, only to find his girlfriend in bed with noises from another man coming from beneath the sheets. So she says, hey, hey, hey, it's not what it seems, okay. But he still runs out of the bedroom, he feels very upset, he's shaking, he takes his phone and he wants to call his best friend to seek some emotional support. So he dials the number of his best friend and then a mobile phone starts ringing in his bedroom. Talk about having a really bad day. Okay, that will probably not have happened to your boyfriend, I hope. But in other words, just like all of us, he has scars from past failed relationships. And now you do or say something that makes you look like his ex, you acted like her. Just a tiny little bit is enough. If that happens, then the dominoes will start to fall rapidly. Whether he's right or wrong doesn't matter. If it looks like a scorpion to his mind, it is a scorpion. It can sting like one. So his mind will go, oh, no, no, no, don't want this again. No, walk away. It's also up to him to deal with these issues, of course, because you can't and you shouldn't fix this. He should fix this. But this initial reaction that he will have will be to take a step back to slow things down because he's reminded of that past failed relationship. He's reminded of that pain, that that bad feeling, and he does not want to repeat it. Now, the good news is that you will sense it. This is the moment where he will pre-ghost you. So suddenly his behavior will be off, will be different. He will have a special look on his face. You know, when a baby needs a diaper change and you can tell just by the look on the baby's face, well, that's the face. It's the same look. So, for example, when you talk about the future and you say we should go away for a weekend and the old him would have said, yeah, I really look forward to it. Let's plan that. But now he gets the baby diaper face look. And then he says, yeah, about that. And then he comes up with some kind of lame excuse, something like, yeah, I really can't leave my goldfish alone for more than a day because he gets lonely then. Or he's not responding as fast as he used to to your messages. He no longer uses your pet name and so on. So things like these, those are big signs that he's about to ghost you. So the bottom line is this. He now needs and he's creating space. Look for those signs because something has now happened that made him reassess the relationship. Something spooked him and he's about to ghost you. And that can be a good thing if he's a bad man for you. But in this video, we are supposing that he's a great guy. We're supposing that you are actually compatible with this guy. So what can you do then? Do not, under any circumstance, spook him even more. Here's what I mean. Some women will now freak out themselves. They will act very needy. They will say things like, do you still love me? Where's this going? Is anything wrong? No, no, sure. Because I can sense that something is wrong. I'm not really needy, but do you still like me? Do you still want to have a relationship with me? Do you still want to be with me? They want answers. They sense the change and it spooks them too, of course, because ghosts are spooky. And these reactions are logical. They are normal because we are all a human being. But if you act like this, chances are you will now confirm that he should indeed run away. That his instinct was right. That you are a scorpion. Should you ignore it then? No, not at all. You should not ignore it. You should ignore him because he now becomes less important. Any man that for any reason under the sun is unsure of wanting a long-term relationship with you is not important, romantically speaking. So even though it will hurt, you try to remain cool, calm and collected about it. And you, for example, say, look, you've changed. You used to. And then some of the things he used to do that you really loved and you stopped. And that's totally fine because you should just be yourself. But this makes me like you less, of course. This is really powerful because a lot of the other women that ever made him feel bad, that ever made him feel this way, they probably liked him more when he became unsure, when he pulled away. Some of them will even have suffocated him then. But not you. You are different. And if he's the right guy for you, then he will know that even though it looked like a scorpion and that he freaked out for just a second there, it wasn't a scorpion. You are different. You're different than the women from his past relationships that gave him those bad feelings. And that becomes clear now. If it was the first reason, if he was evaluating whether he really wanted to give his heart to you, whether he was capable of being a good boyfriend, well, you will still win because you gave him time, but you were still moving on because he became less important to you. You were not waiting for him. Now, this is very powerful, too, because you proved that you don't need him, that you want him, but you don't need him. This is a concept that I often refer to. The level of importance should always match. He can be as important to you as you are to him and vice versa. If he treats you well, he becomes important. If he ghosts you, well, then he's not important. Regardless of what your feelings will want you to believe, we have to be rational about these things. That's, in my opinion, the best way to automatically move on from a bad relationship and to give a good relationship the room and the space and the fertilizer it will need to grow. So there you go. I think this was a very important topic. I hope you found it a valuable video. If you want more, then you can find me on brianknox.com where I share some more advanced strategies. My books, they are on Amazon. You can type my pen name, Brian Knox, in the search bar to get a full list of my books that you can read or listen to. The links will be in the description, as always. And I want to thank you for sticking around until the very end of this video. I love it when you do that. And I hope to see you in another video.