5 Simple Ways to Attract Him Emotionally Without Using Your Looks

So in this video I'm going to give you 5 ways to instantly be more attractive to the man you like, the man you date, the man you love, and so on. Now, as you will see, these 5 things are tiny, they do not require much of an effort, but please, do not underestimate them. They can have a gigantic impact, and not only on your attractiveness towards men, but perhaps most importantly, on your own self-esteem. As you will see, there's a direct link to your confidence. I'm an author, I wrote a couple of books about dating and relationships for women, I also write about other topics like handling difficult emotions. My real name is Geert, my much easier-to-pronounce pen name is Brian Knox, and I'll dive right in with the first way to be your most attractive self. When you go out to a party, or a bar, or a networking event, a get-together, or even a seminar, you may often notice a couple of guys or a couple of women standing or sitting there, and even though they are in a conversation with each other, their attention will be spread across the entire room. So they are looking around all the time, as if they're trying to find someone, as if they're still waiting for someone to join their group. And at that moment, their feet and their shoulders may even be pointing away from each other. So, you may say, what's the problem? Well, this communicates a lot to every single person in that room. Can you see what it is? Here's what this communicates. Does anyone know where the fun is at? Because it sure ain't here. I don't really like the person I'm standing next to. I would rather talk to a shrimp than to her. I'm not here to talk to her. I'm here to find someone fun, like a prince, like a knight in shining armor, or in all honesty, even a frog will do, because I'm really lonely. That's why we are here. I'm here to find someone. I've been alone for way too long now. So, anyone? Yeah, that's what this communicates. Guys do this too, of course. And if you notice two or three guys standing around like this, scanning the entire room, stalking the entire room, how attracted will you be to any one of those guys? How much fun will it be to join their little group and to get to know them? But if instead, you are enjoying yourself, you're smiling, you're laughing, you're having a lot of fun, then the attraction goes up considerably, of course, because you clearly are fun to be around and you don't need anything. You don't need anyone else. That constantly looking around thing is not only a sign of neediness, in some cases, it will even be a sign of desperation. And that's obviously never attractive. So, if you ever want to go out to find a great guy, to meet a great guy, then don't go out to find a great guy. Go out to have fun with the people you are with. Go out to have fun alone. And all of this is actually closely related to number two, way number two to be your most attractive self. Bring the energy. Brendon Burchard always says that the power plant does not have energy, it generates energy. But have you ever noticed that when you are on a vacation, that people are more friendly to you, that people seem to be more attracted to you over there? Sometimes you may even think, people are so much more fun here than back home. Well, no, they probably aren't. You are so much more fun there than back home. You will be different. You're bringing a different energy and all of these people are just reacting to that energy. The third one, one level higher, bring the frame. Bring the rules, your own rules. That's very attractive. Let's say that you are talking to a guy and it's your first conversation, perhaps it's the very first date. And although he's a good guy, he suddenly slips up. He suddenly says something quite off-putting. Something like, so why did you not wear high heels? I would find you more attractive in high heels. Okay. Well, if this happens, you do not step into his frame because he's very rude, he's very childish. So you do not lower yourself to his level. You bring your own rules. You bring the frame and you drag him into that frame. Thank you. Your complaint has been noted. Your satisfaction is really important to us. Good night. And you turn around and you walk away. Now he will have to step into your frame because of this reaction. Another way to react. Wait, can you repeat that last sentence just one more time? And you stop talking and you wait. Can you sense the power here? Can you sense that you are in control then? And even a good guy who means well, who actually likes you, can slip up like this. But you immediately show him that he's in your frame then. Now this may sound obvious to you. And shouldn't this be obvious to everyone? I thought so too. But I recently overheard a man who clearly did not mean well say this exact sentence to what looked like a smart and intelligent and a beautiful woman without high heels on. Guess what her reaction was? Well, yeah, I usually wear high heels. But tonight I felt more comfortable in my sneakers. So that's why I wore them and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Wait, what? Why is she explaining herself to him? She's stepping into his frame here. But that's stupid. That's not only not attractive, which does not matter in this case, because she shouldn't try to attract a guy like this. But this is going to hurt her confidence, especially because she will continue to make this mistake. These are the crucial moments where you have to teach him a lesson. Not for him, but for you. To strengthen your confidence and your self-esteem and to get better at this third way to be your most attractive self. Bring the frame. Now also, this can be a test, a very childish test. Some men will be testing what they can get away with. They do things like this and they expect you to push back. So bring the energy, bring the rules to that interaction. But between us, if a man ever deliberately puts you down like this, so he's not surprised of his own words when you ask him to repeat the sentence, well, then it's time to release the hounds and to get out of there. Because a guy that puts you down deliberately so he can feel better, well, that's one of the worst types of guys to ever be with in a romantic relationship. The fourth one, a strange one. Do not disqualify yourself. This is easy to fix, but it's a mistake that's also really easy to make. Here are some examples. What? So you're asking me out on a date? Oh, yes, of course I want to go out on a date with you. I would have never thought I was your type. My job? Yeah, well, my job is not really interesting, but... And yeah, sure, I understand that you don't want to be with someone who... And then something negative related to you. When a woman says any of these, she's obviously putting herself down, but sometimes people do this to protect themselves. Let me point out a list of all of my negative qualities one by one, so you can leave me now before we start a relationship, so I don't get hurt. Or we sometimes use it because we are secretly seeking reassurance. So we want the other person to say, of course you are my type. Really? Yes, really. Of course, I don't mind that you have all of these negative qualities. This is bad for so many reasons. One, it will destroy our confidence. Second, it puts the other person on a pedestal. That's never attractive because when they are on a pedestal, they have nowhere else to look but down on us. And then the fifth way to be your most attractive self, make him visualize a future with you, but do so in a non-needy way, a casual way. When we humans visualize something, it will feel real and to our brain, it will be real. That's why nightmares can feel surreal, for example. Some women get this totally wrong. They do this in a needy way. So let's say that they are talking to a guy and there is some flirting going on, so it's clear that it's a romantic conversation, and then they may say, oh, so you like Italian food? Yeah, well, maybe we should go to an Italian restaurant together then someday, huh? As in, hint, hint, please let's go there on a date. Ask me out on a date. I'm available. What are you waiting for? So this is a weak hint and he's apparently in control now. Plus, there is no challenge. But if that woman instead casually says, yeah, and I like a man who takes me out to a restaurant and then we can go for a beautiful nightly walk in the city afterwards, that's different. Or maybe you have had your first date with him and during the second date you casually say, yeah, and the guy I want to end up with in a relationship, he knows how to bring me breakfast in bed after our first night together. This is where his mind will go now. He will start to visualize all of this, but this time there is no neediness involved. On the contrary, this is very playful and it's a challenge. So his mind may now go, I can be that guy. Let me prove it. Check, please. So we are painting a realistic and an attractive picture that the right person will love to step into. And there you go. Five quick and easy ways to be your most attractive self. If you want more advanced insights and podcasts and things that I'm not sharing over here, you can find those on brianknox.com. If you would like to read any of my books or listen to them, you can find those on Amazon. You type my pen name, Brian Knox, in the search bar and then you will get a full list of all of my books. As always, I will also put links in the description underneath this video as well. I want to thank you for watching this video until the very end. I love it when you do that. And I hope to see you in another video.