7 Things Smart Women Never Do For a Man!

There are a couple of things you should never do for a man or with a man, because if you do them, he might think you are wearing a name tag that says doormat. He may lose respect for you and will probably fall out of love pretty fast. But perhaps the most important effect is that you might lose your own self-respect, even because of small things you do. For example, one of the things you should never do for a man is give him the benefit of the doubt if you haven't been with him for multiple months already. More on this one in a minute. But these seemingly tiny things can have big consequences for your love life. At some point you might even lose yourself in a relationship because before you know it, you might be chasing after a man, trying to prove why he should fall for you or love you. Or worse, maybe you're explaining to him why he should really unfollow the hundreds of women in bikinis he's following on social media that don't respond to his DMs anyway. Well, except by blocking him every now and then. But seriously now, there are some things you may be doing for a man that seem harmless, but that are really not good for your love life and your value and your self-respect. So let's talk about it. My name is Geert. I'm an author. I also go by the pen name Brian Knox. I write about dating, relationships and other topics. And here's the first thing you should never do for him. Do not keep giving him chances. Here's the thing. When a man shows you good behavior, you cannot be certain you will ever see it again. But when a man shows you bad behavior, you can bet all your money on seeing it again and soon. And you want to know why? It's because bad behavior takes an effort to not do it. Self-control, empathy, respect, emotional intelligence. If he treats you badly, he has just proven he doesn't have a lot of these. And of course, this is not just about men. It's the same for women. When someone shows you bad behavior, expect more of it. And if you don't want that, why stick around? And when that person then says, oh, I'm sorry, normally I never do this. I normally never treat people this way. Well, you just did. So you do. Goodbye. Do not keep giving people chances because you are wasting your time in your love life, but in friendships, too. People always show you who they truly are, even when they say they are not like that. Words are cheap. The second related one. Do not forgive without seeing changed behavior. Don't give him the benefit of the doubt unless you have been with him for a long time and you know from experience that he's truly a good man. Every man you can potentially be with will do things that cross a boundary. And sometimes it's because he doesn't know what your boundaries are yet. But other times he knows it all too well because you told him before. And true boundaries are never flexible. Otherwise, they are not really boundaries. So if he crosses them for a second or a third time, you don't get mad. You don't yell. You give him less attention. He becomes less important. Why? Because he's proving to not be the guy you thought he was. A good guy that will treat you with respect. And when he senses that, his ego may not like that. It can even raise his attraction for you. He may become more interested in you, but for the wrong reasons, of course. Now, what some women do then, and I'm not saying you are one of them, is they forgive and forget right away. Ah, you seem very interested in me again. That's great. So let's just continue. Uh, no, let's not. He's on probation. You need to see a true change in behavior, and that takes some time. Here is another one, and this is a big one. Never accept emotional unavailability. When this happens, some women stay quiet to do him a favor or to avoid upsetting him. But never accept emotional unavailability, especially not when his life is going well. See, when things are not going well in a man's life, he will often pull back and try to deal with his problems on his own. So at that time, he will be less available on an emotional level. That's a factory setting for a lot of men, but it's still not an excuse. You deserve emotional consistency. So if he becomes emotionally distant, say something about it. Let him know that you don't like that, and then it's up to him to change that or not, which would be a reason to make him less important again. Your emotional needs matter a lot in your love life. It's one of the core reasons we have a love life in the first place, to have an emotional connection with someone. So don't ever ignore your emotional needs to avoid conflict or to keep him happy. It's like I said in a previous video, it's okay to tell him, well, these are my standards. This is what I need in a relationship. Good luck. And then it's up to him to get there or not. And if it's not, then it's buh-bye. Another thing you should never do with a man is try to compete for his attention. Women who make this mistake think, I like him. So obviously I want to spend a lot of time with him and have a deep connection with him. I need to figure out what he likes and then give that to him as much as I can. Yeah. He likes women who dress a certain way. Okay. I will change my style. I've also noticed that in the bedroom, he's more occupied with his phone than me. So I will buy new lingerie. Yeah. That's a no brainer. He likes football. Okay. I will start studying it so I can talk about it with him. Yeah. He seems to love spending a lot of time with his friends that watch football too. Cool, but a very bad idea for a couple of reasons. First, let's say that a certain man is really into big trucks and big four by fours. So he's not a fan of sports cars. Big cars are what he wants. Well, then a Lamborghini adored by many men can try anything at once. It will never make this man's heart race any faster. And it shouldn't even try. It should find a man who likes Lamborghinis. Everything else is a waste of time and also bad for the Lamborghini self-respect. Even if a man asks you to change certain things, don't if it means changing into someone you are not. Tell him to go find a woman who is what he's looking for. I once coached a woman who was in this situation. She was gorgeous, great personality, beautiful on the outside as well. But her man had started to lose interest in her and in the bedroom, too. So she had tried the I will buy the type of lingerie he loves thing. But to her surprise, when she was parading in front of him one night wearing that lingerie, he barely looked up from his phone. Why? Well, possibly because one of those women in a bikini just blocked him on social media. Why does that keep happening to me? Just kidding. Probably because he knew exactly what was going on. She was trying to fight for his attention. It's a destroyer of value and respect. But when she made him less important and turn inward, she became who she truly was again, regardless of what he would think about that. Now, when she was no longer passionate about what he liked, but what she liked instead, he started to notice it very fast. It turned out it was what she needed to feel happy again. But he apparently as well. He started dropping his phone again when he saw her. And guess why? It's because the woman she really is, is the woman he had fallen for in the first place. It's who she was the moment they first met. But then she had started to change for him. And another big reason why competing for someone's attention is a really bad idea is that nobody is attracted to someone who's trying to please them all the time. We are attracted to someone with a backbone, someone who's not trying to be anyone else, but themselves. And if that isn't enough, then it's time to move on. Another thing you should never, ever do for a man is tolerate disrespectful language towards you at any time. I once saw a woman whose boyfriend wasn't being respectful while we were in a group multiple times. So I asked her what was going on and she said, yeah, I know. He sometimes does that, but only in public. When we are alone, he's very kind and sweet. Yeah, great. As if that makes it all right. That's like saying, yeah, the brakes on my car keep failing when I drive it around in public, but in my garage, the car stays put. The parking brake works. Yeah, great. As if that makes it all right. Never make excuses for his bad behavior. Plus, here's the big issue with this. Can you see it already? This man thinks he can pick and choose when to treat his girlfriend with respect. When a man truly values and loves you, his respect is consistent. Whether you are alone in a desert with him or sitting down at dinner with friends and family, don't settle for anything less than being treated with the dignity you deserve at all times. Another thing you should never do for a man is become his therapist, his coach, or worse, his mom. Now, giving some emotional support is part of any relationship, even a friendship. That's fine. But what some women do is much more. They believe his happiness is their responsibility. But that's wrong. If you are with a man, then he's your partner, not your project. When you start acting like his therapist or his mom, you are no longer his partner. You are his caretaker. And that's a very heavy burden to carry, of course. And you might think you are helping him or guiding him or making him a better person or worse, turning him into who you would want him to be. But what you are really doing is setting yourself up for frustration. This is like trying to build do-it-yourself furniture that you get in a box and then have to screw together without reading the manual. If you do that, it will probably fall apart. You will build the whole thing and then still have some screws left over, you know, screws that were probably really important. At least that's what always happens to me when I ignore the manual. His happiness is his responsibility, not yours. His personal growth, also his responsibility. A relationship should be about supporting each other, not fixing each other. When you take on the role of his life coach, you rob him of the chance to step up and to take accountability and to grow into the man he's supposed to be. Remember, you are his partner, not his project manager. And there you go. I really hope some of these tips come in handy whenever your mind wants to do things for a man to make him more interested in you. And by the way, have you ever done things for men that backfired, that did not give you the results you were hoping for? Please let me and the others know that in the comments. And if you want more, you can find that on brianknox.com or on Amazon, where you can find my books by typing my pen name, Brian Knox, in the search box. And by the way, thank you for still being here at the very end of the video. I love it when you do that. If I would ever make a list of the five things you should definitely do for a guy, this would be number one, stay until the end of his videos. He loves that. So thank you and I hope to see you in another video.