Rude English Barber Shop Haircut ✂ 💈 ASMR

Yes, this will work out absolutely. We can fit you in here anytime you wish. Well, you know, you'd be careful properly. We've got the most amazing haircut for you. We could fashion you anything you want to make you seem a little bit taller. Don't worry, I don't know one. Yes, so anytime now, we can accept you here and you'll be my first client. Oh, goodness me. Nothing to worry about. I think some local riff-raff has just walked in. So whenever you wish, come in to see me and I will give you the best haircut. Okay, little frog. See you momentarily. Inform you what that is correct. It also is a hairdresser's. We don't simply just do barbering and shaping here. We do a range of styling things. But I'll not make myself clear last time. We don't serve your kind here. Let's put it this way. You and your kind. Fine establishment. Here we do the best shaves, which you experienced with me previously. It certainly was probably the best shave you've ever experienced and had. And you will like the looks of me. You haven't shaved since, so you've attempted to. There's a lot of scruff around here. It's, yes, let's say the lower class version of shaving. So you've come here to match your experience for the perfect haircut. Of course, I can give you the perfect haircut. But I have a very important customer. A regular who comes to my establishment. You'll find ladies and gentlemen who wish to get the perfect. Who wish to have a shave. Or the ladies, some of the high class ladies like to come in. Just for a relaxing pamper experience. So I use the blade, but I use the comb on it. The process. That is kind of the establishment I offer. And the service I offer to my loyal customers and clients. Of course, high class individuals. And wealthy enough to have that experience. You have the money. Of course, you have the money. I believe you. I'm sure that you managed to just about scrape it last time. But if I could just see your verification that you're just telling the truth. Yes, let me just check. Lord Farquaad, are you here? Come in. I will cut you all treatment at the foot if my loyal customer Lord Farquaad comes in. And promise me that you will make the agreement. Exit. By swift exit, I mean we don't want you to be seen. We don't wish you to be heard. If you would just duck and exit down there. That would be perfect. So no one could see that I'm cutting you. Not in your hair, shall I say. And with a customer like you. Because I'm afraid, frankly, if someone sees me attending to someone like you. They might be slightly put off with this haircut establishment. Which has been here for, I don't know. So, do we have an accord? Just before I get you all set up and comfortable. Have you, by the looks of you, you may have missed a couple of showers this week. You don't look as well kept as my normal customers. But I don't wish to use my specialist equipment. If you're not looking so special yourself. That was just your general look. I see. Very interesting. Okay. So that's enough with the pleasant. Let's get you settled in. So if you could just take a seat there for me. There we go. Just sit yourself down there. Any of the chairs? These chairs are leather and expensive. And anything, because you are planning to steal something or do something. So, now that we're ready for your haircut. So, what sets me apart from different establishments. Is that the customers come in. I take a good look. See what sort of hair you've got. See what I'll be working with. Unless you're a lord or a lady or someone of great importance. I will sort of decide in the style of your hair. Decide what sort of style would look best on you. To make you the most cautious and messed up. I can see here. So, we give that. So, just a glazion you have there. I'll simply spray it and brush. But if you're a lord, you will get the full experience. So, I think we could work with what we've got here. Smarten you up. I'm curious. Okay. So, I invite all my clients to be as comfortable as possible. So, as I just pop you back a little bit on your seat. Make sure you're nice and comfortable. So, if I could pop this neck pillow around you. To make sure you'll be nice and comfortable there. Okay. And how was that for you? So, your neck is upright. You're nice and comfortable. Now, I want to clip you up. Perfection. I offer you anything to drink. Finest coffee or perhaps some hydrating water for you. Some water. Your water for you. Which still makes you available for me. That's something I should not be doing. I'm going to be wetting your hair now. Nice and still for me. But I'll try and get it away from your eyes. We're just going to be going through your hair. It's all perfect. Just around the side there as well. Perfect. And the scissors. If you can keep this section nice and silent. And let me really get that style nicely. Probably start off with... And this is part of my technique. Scissors to create something really unique. So, I ask you to just keep nice and still for me. And we shall just have a little bit of time to style your hair. So, if you could try not to look at me. Relax. And I can get on with this bit for you. I haven't used the scissors so far. Because I can create magic with scissors. Coppers. You don't need to use all the fancy things. Simply have the skill on the part. Just for now. Parts there. Shaving at all. This is your technique. Take your switch on. What I usually use is a number six. To give it that authentic natural cross there. And then... So, obviously it's not turned on. Just so you know. It's not shaving anything. It's nice and relaxing. And it sounds good. So, I'll be just working around you. So, don't you worry. Just keep an eye out for barber shop sounds. It makes it quite relaxing. Perfection. My work, that is. About you. That has manifested on your head. Is due to my talents. Thank you very much. All that remains for me to do now. Is to dry your hair. Start it for you. Just finish off the experience. And give you the kind of experience that you would expect. From a classy place like this. I've just installed there for you. But if you wish me to. I can perhaps spray your hair with some products. Some hairspray. Just to keep your look nice and intact for you. Of course, you want to preserve your hairstyle. For as long as possible. Because I'm sure. So, it's good to look as high class as possible. As you leave my establishment from here. Setting here. I'm just going to lock this in place. So, I should cover your eyes for you. The artistic piece which I've created. Makes everything as perfect as it can be. Classy. Upper class. Individual. Thank you so much. It was an absolute pleasure for you. If I can just dispose of this properly. You certainly look like a spectacular. Certainly different from the person who came and visited. Or should I say surprised me. With your entrance into my. It is quite a relaxing experience. As you've now experienced. You've been cared for. And everything is looking great. Had a bit of a relaxing time. All my clients enjoy. Just having the time together. Of course, if you're a lord or lady. Or someone of importance. Then I'd like to massage your head. Decorate the scalp a little bit. Just to make you feel extra good. And we engage in interesting conversation. About important things. Upper class things. We do here in this establishment. Though your conversation was lacking. I wouldn't expect someone like you would have. Sometime someone turn up in the hall. Engaging in conversation with him. Looking in the eyes. And certainly if he asks you that. Because it's looking fantastic. And just say that you were delivering something for me. Essential tools. Okay, that would be great. Well, once again the pleasure was all yours. And not so much mine. Take care of yourself. And I'll be seeing you again soon. This is a lower class ritual.