【做自己的勇氣】獻給迷茫中的你、五個心態帶你走出焦慮&內耗｜lowang小鹿🦌

无论现在你正打算辞职 Whether you are planning to quit your job 创业 start a business now 还是去旅居 Or go to live 又或是 Or 你想要按照自己的 You want to live according to 理想状态去生活 your ideal state 但渐渐会发现 But gradually you will find 原来要在这个社会 It turns out that in this society 真正的做自己 truly be yourself 真的很难 It's really hard. 我们会遇到无数不认可的声音 We will encounter countless voices of disapproval 经济的压力 Economic pressure 甚至来自家人的打击 Even from family members 如果现在的你感到孤独 If you are feeling lonely 迷茫 and lost 没有动力 No power. 难以坚持 Hard to hold on to 今天想要跟你分享 I want to share with you today 五个陪伴我成长的心态 Five mindsets that accompanied my growth 让我找回做自己的勇气 Let me find the courage to be myself 勇敢的去辞职 Be brave enough to resign 再到自己创业 To starting your own business 一个人还去了两个月的旅居生活 A person also went to live alone for two months 我因此彻底的 I am therefore completely 开启了自己全新的人生 Started a new life of Myself 哈喽大家好 Hello, everybody. 我是璐泓 I am Lu Hong 今天想要跟你分享的 What I want to share with you today 第一个心态 The first mindset 那就是做好最坏的打算 It's preparing for the worst. 可能现在在你的内心 Maybe it's in your heart now 一直藏着一个小小的梦想 It've been hiding a little dream 或者是一件你非常想要做的事情 Or it's something you really want to do. 但是你一直都迟迟 But you're always late 没有勇气踏出第一步 Lack of courage to take the first step 想要跟你分享 Want to share with you 如何突破恐惧 How to Overcome Fear 因为我当时在我面临要辞职的时候 Because I was about to resign. 我也是犹豫了非常非常久 I also hesitated for a very, very long time 当时的那一份全职工作 That full-time job at the time 他的薪水其实也还不错 His salary is actually not bad 而且我当时的阶段 And I was at that stage 是面临着我即将要升职 In the face of my upcoming promotion 又可以再加薪的阶段 The stage where you can get another raise 但是我就是在那个时候喊停了 And that's when I stopped. 因为我意识到 Because I realized 当下全职生活的那个状态 The current state of full-time life 已经不是我喜欢 I don't like it anymore 并且我感觉到自己在继续那样上班 And I feel like I'm continuing to work that way. 我整个人会没有活力 I will have no vitality as a whole 我过得也不是很开心那段时间 I didn't have a very happy time either. 所以我就下定决心要辞职 So I made up my mind to quit. 然后当时我就在想 And I was thinking. 其实辞职然后再到创业 In fact, quit my job and then start a business 最坏最坏的打算 Worst case scenario 那就是我可能会创业失败 That I might fail in my business 再或者是我在辞职之后 Or after I quit my job 我可能面临的是经济的压力 I may be facing financial pressure 我可能会没有足够的钱再出去 I might not have enough money to go out again 自己一个人住 Live alone 因为我当时全职生活的时候 Because when I was living full-time 我就自己搬出来住 I'll move out on my own 所以在香港的房租 So the rent in Hong Kong 也是需要一笔的费用 It also requires a fee. 那么如果我选择辞职 Then if I choose to resign 可能面临的就是 Possible is 如果我把我的存款全部都花完的话 If I spend all my savings 我就可能需要搬回家住 I might need to move back home 又或者是 Or maybe 我需要再重新找一份全职的工作 I need to find another full-time job 然后我就发现 Then I found out 原来辞职 Resigned 再到自己创业 Then start your own business 其实我要面临最坏最坏的结果 In fact, I'm facing the worst possible outcome 也不过如此 So that's it. 但是我却可以因此 But I can 让自己多一个机会去追梦 Give yourself one more chance to pursue your dreams 去尝试一下自己很想做的事情 Go and try something you really want to do 然后我就毅然的决定辞职 And I decided to resign. 所以如果大家现在有一件 So if you have one now 非常想要做的事情 Something I really want to do 但你迟迟不敢踏出第一步的话 But if you are too slow to take the first step 你可以让自己去设想一下 You can let yourself imagine 如果这件事情他失败后 If he fails in this matter 他最坏的结果是什么 What's the worst that could happen to him? 有没有一些备用的方案 Is there some backup plan? 或者是有没有些后路让自己走 Or is there some way back for yourself to go? 第二个心态就是被讨厌的勇气 The second mindset is the courage to be hated. 其实我觉得相比踏出第一步 In fact, I think it's better to take the first step 其实最怕最怕的 In fact, the most afraid 是要面临外界的眼光 It is to face the eyes of the outside world 可能是来自于你的家人 Maybe it's from your family. 你身边的同事 Colleagues around you 你的朋友 Your friend. 你的同学 Your classmate 任何一个在你身边的眼光 Any eye that is by your side 其实这个才是让我们 In fact, this is what makes us 不敢踏出第一步 In fact, this is what makes us 最可怕的一点 The scariest point 想要在现在这个社会真正的做自己 I want to truly be myself in today's society 就意味着你需要承受更大 It means you need to bear more 更大的舆论压力 Greater public pressure 我知道可能我在大家眼中 I know I might be in everyone's eyes 是一个非常自由自在 Is a very free 然后很洒脱的人 Then very free and easy person 想要去国外就去 If you want to go abroad, go abroad 然后想要做什么就做什么 Then do whatever you want 想要辞职就辞职 Resign if you want 想要做自媒體就做自媒體 If you want to be self-media, be self-media. 其实在这个路途中 In fact, on this road 我真的是面临了非常多的 I was really faced with a lot of 自己内心的纠葛 Own inner entanglements 焦虑 anxiety 而我大部分的压力就是来自于親戚 And most of my stress comes from my relatives 还有我最重要最重要 And I am the most important, the most important 我的父母 my parents 因为在传统的教育观念里 Because in the traditional concept of education 我们要好好念书 We must study hard 是为了一份安稳的工作 It's for a secure job 我们要在26岁结婚 We're getting married at 26. 28岁生孩子 28-Year-old baby 男生要高富帅 Boys should be rich and handsome 女生要白又瘦 Girls should be white and thin 所以在这个大部分人 So in this case, most people 都认可的游戏规则里 In the accepted rules of the game 如果想要真正的做自己 If you want to truly be yourself 摆脱这一套传统的游戏规则 Get rid of this traditional set of game rules 那就必须要面对 Then you have to face 更多的质疑谩骂 More doubts and insults 不信任 distrust 因为自从我辞职之后 Because since I quit my job 其实我的收入 In fact, my income 是一个非常不稳定的阶段 Is a very unstable stage 所以很多时候 So many times 我的收入可能是刚刚好够我用 My income may be just enough for me 然后在我家里人眼中呢 And in the eyes of my family? 他们就会觉得 They will feel 一个女孩子创业 A girl starts a business 是不可能成功的 It's impossible to succeed 然后我还有试过被一个亲戚 Then I also tried to be killed by a relative 他是当着十几个人的面前 He was in front of a dozen people 然后他问我 And he asked me. 你现在的收入怎么样 How is your current income? 然后你这样子真的可以吗 Then is it really okay for you to do this? 你觉得你凭什么成功 What do you think makes you successful? 在这个路途中 On this road 我真的收到了非常非常多质疑的声音 And I was really getting a lot of skepticism. 这让我的压力也很大 And that puts a lot of pressure on me. 我也会很焦虑 I get anxious. 但是其实更多的是 But there's more to it. 我知道我自己在做什么 I know what I'm doing. 因为我很热爱我现在的生活 Because I love my life very much. 自从我今年踏入 Since I entered this year 全职YouTube的线上工作 Full-time online job at YouTube 还有独自旅居的生活 And living alone 我体验到了之前从来没有感受到的 I experienced something I had never felt before 自由跟快乐 Freedom and happiness 我深刻的知道 I know deeply 我的幸福是建立于我热爱的事业 My happiness is based on what I love. 我的生命、我的生活 My life, my life 我知道我的影片帮助了很多减肥 I know my videos have helped a lot with weight loss 迷失的人 Lost Person 我在这里收获到了无数的支持 I have received countless support here 喜欢和成就感 Liking and accomplishment 而这些是我在别的地方得不到的 And that's something I can't get anywhere else. 现在的生活模式 Current lifestyle 我可以自己决定工作时间 I can decide my own working hours. 可以安排自己的娱乐时间 You can organize your own entertainment time 而这一切并不是昂贵的包包 And none of this is an expensive bag. 跑车、别墅 And none of this is an expensive bag. 它能够带给我的快乐 The joy it can bring me 但是绝大部分我身边的人都不理解 But most of the people around me don't understand 他们不相信我能够按照这样的方式 They didn't believe I could do it this way 获得快乐跟幸福 Achieve joy and happiness 但是如果 But if 我自己都不能为自己 I can't do it for myself 活出理想的人生 Live your ideal life 那还会有谁为我而活呢 Then who else will live for me? 如果我们总是在意他人的眼光跟想法 If we always care about what other people think and think 因此感到生气愤怒失望 So angry, angry, disappointed 其实我们要做的就是放下 In fact, all we have to do is let go 追求人性的完美 Pursuit of human perfection 当我们希望他人拥有 When we want others to have 至高的道德品格 the highest moral character 要爱我们、理解我们 Love us and understand us 支持我们的话 support us. 一旦对方无法满足我们的期许 If the other party fails to meet our expectations 那这就是让我们失望的原因 That's why we're disappointed. 所以在人性中 So in human nature 所有美好的特质 All the beautiful qualities 都应该用来要求自己 Should be used to ask yourself 而并非对外衡量的标准 It's not something that is measured externally. 这段话的意思也就是说 What this sentence means is that 我们应该要去放下 We should let go 希望别人认可我们这一个想法 I hope others will recognize our idea 其实过往 In fact, in the past 我一直都很想我的父母可以支持我 I've always wanted my parents to support me 信任我 Trust me. 虽然看上去是 Although it seems 父母他們不相信我 My parents don't believe me 然后让我感到非常的受伤难过 And it made me feel really hurt and sad. 但事实上 But in fact 问题的根源是出自于我 The root of the problem is me 因为我用了一个过高的道德标准 Because I used an exorbitant moral standard 去要求我的父母 To ask my parents 我要求他们完全的理解我相信我 I ask them to fully understand me trust me 但是我的父母他们并不是完美的 But my parents, they weren't perfect. 他们的成长环境还有他们的价值观 The context in which they were raised and their values 并没有办法让他们 There is no way to make them 可以完全的理解我 You can understand me completely 所以我要做的并不是去改变他们 So my job is not to change them. 要求他们要去理解我 Ask them to understand me 反而我要做的是 Instead, what I have to do is 让自己成为一个更多包容心 Let yourself become a more inclusive person 去理解他人的人 People who understand others 别人并不会是完美的 Others are not perfect 他们并不一定要按照我们的期许 They don't have to do what we want them to do. 去支持我们 To support us 理解我们 Understand us 这个也是阿德勒所提到过 This is also what Adler mentioned 非常重要的一个理论 A very important theory 那就是人类的所有烦恼 That's all the troubles of human beings 都是来自于人际关系 It's all about relationships. 我们每天都要应付 We have to deal with it every day 各种各样的人际关系 All kinds of human relationships 家人、同事、客户、朋友等等 Family, colleagues, clients, friends, etc 我们之所以会觉得非常的 That's why we find it so complex. 复杂、难搞 烦恼 trouble 要么就是因为 Or because 我们过度在意别人的想法 We care too much about what other people think. 要么就是因为我们想要控制 Or because we want to control 或者改变别人的想法 Or change someone's mind 但这两种都是在干涉别人的人生 But both of these are interfering in other people's lives 又或者是让别人干涉我们的人生 Or let others interfere in our lives 所以我们要做的就是课题分离 So what we need to do is to separate topics 放下那些你没有办法控制的 Let go of the people and things you can't control 人、事、物 纵使被说坏话被讨厌 Even if you are badmouthed and hated 也没有什么好在意的 There's nothing to care about 因为对方如何看待你 Because of how the other person perceives you 那是对方的课题 That's the other party's topic. 每个人都有自己 Everyone has their own 人生的烦恼跟挫折 troubles and setbacks in life 我们最终还是会回归自己的生活 We will eventually get back to our lives 真正过得好不好 Are you really having a good time? 开不开心 unhappy 幸不幸福 Happy or not 只有你自己知道 Only you know 所以在人生的这条道路上 So on this path of life 重要的从来都不是他人 What matters is never the other person 而是我们如何放下对外界的要求 It's how we let go of our demands on the outside world 拥有被讨厌 Have to be hated 的勇气 courage 在这里 Here it is. 顺便跟大家推荐一部 By the way, I recommend one to everyone 我很喜欢的电影 a movie that I really like 《当幸福来敲门》 "he Pursuit of Happyness" 里面有一段男主角 There is a male protagonist in it 对他儿子所说的话 words to his son 让我印象非常的深刻 I am very impressed 第三个心态 The third mindset. 那就是自卑与超越 That is inferiority complex and transcendence 其实无论多么完美的人 In fact, no matter how perfect a person is 他们都一定在内心 They must all be inside 都会有一个自卑情结 There will be an inferiority complex 而自卑的意思也就是说 And inferiority complex means that 当一个人面对生活的难题 When a person faces the challenges of life 以及困扰时 and troubles 产生了无能为力的情绪 They feel powerless. 那便是自卑情结 That's the inferiority complex. 而自卑是人类的通病 Low self-esteem is a common human disease 也是失败的根源 It's a recipe for failure. 在现在的社会生存 Survive in today's society 每个人心里都埋着 Everyone is buried in their hearts 一颗自卑的种子 A seed of inferiority 我们担心外表不够出众 We worry about not being outstanding enough. 成绩不够优秀 Not good enough 收入不够富足 Not enough income 事实上自卑可以毁掉你 In fact, low self-esteem can destroy you 也可以成就你 It can make you who you are. 关键是在于你如何看待他的方式 What matters is how you perceive him 我从小都在湖南长大 I grew up in Hunan 后来到香港念初中 then I went to HK to study junior high school 所以经常会被嘲笑是大陆妹 Therefore, she is often ridiculed as a mainland girl 刚到香港的时候 When I first arrived in Hong Kong 我很自卑 I feel inferior 并且我的成绩一直都不太好 And my grades weren't always good. 高中英文100分 100 points in high school English 只有16分 Only 16 points 还是蒙出来的 It's still a cover-up. 所以毕业的时候我很自卑 So I felt inferior when I graduated After graduating from college 到了大学毕业后 我发现自己的能力不够 I realized that my abilities were not enough 没有工作经验 No work experience 没有特别之处 Nothing special 找工作的时候我很自卑 I had low self-esteem when I was looking for a job. 所以呢其实 So, you know what? 我真的是一个 I am really a 普通到不能再普通的人 ordinary person who can't be any more ordinary 我没有什么非常优渥的家庭背景 I don't come from a very privileged family background. 也没有什么了不起的技能 No great skills 在过往长大的过程 Growing up in the past 其实我也听到了很多贬低我 In fact, I also heard a lot of demeaning me 看不起我的声音 Look down on my voice 过往的我 Past Me 会因为这些负面的声音感到自卑 They feel inferior because of the negative sound. 难过伤心 sad sad 但是我从来都没有想象过 But I never imagined 我可以改变自己 I can change myself 其实就是印证了 In fact, it is confirmed 心理学中的一个理论 a theory in psychology 自證預言 self-fulfilling prophecy 也就是说 That is to say 我们的思想和信念会影响我们的行动 Our thoughts and beliefs influence our actions 而我们的行动又会影响结果 And our actions will affect the outcome 当你相信你是怎样的人 When you believe in who you are 你就会成为怎样的人 What will you become 在我长大的过程中 As I was growing up 我父母就一直告诉我 My parents kept telling me 因为我们家里的人成绩都不好 Because people in our family don't get good grades. 智商也不高 IQ is not high either 没有什么聪明人 No smart people 所以他们对我的要求不高 So they don't expect much from me. 及格就好 Just pass. 毕业后找个稳定的工作 Find a stable job after graduation 有钱的老公就可以了 A rich husband is fine. 所以这就导致我一直 So this has led me to keep 都觉得自己不聪明 They don't think they're smart. 不是学习的料 Not for studying 学习对于我来说非常的痛苦 Learning is very painful for me. 是一件很难的事情 It's a very difficult thing to do. 而我的行为就是 And my behavior is 我真的没有在学习上 I'm really not studying 付出太多的努力 put too much effort 也不想要尝试去学习改变自己 I don't want to try to learn to change myself 获得的结果就是普普通通的成绩 The result is mediocre results 永远都没有学习的动力 There's no motivation to learn. 但是我想要在这里 But I want to be here. 跟你分享一个有趣的实验 Let me share with you an interesting experiment 有一群科学家 There's a group of scientists. 将一些中学生进行智商测试 Put some middle school students on an IQ test 然后告诉某些学生 Then tell some students 他们的智商非常高 They have very high IQs. 但是这些学生 But these students 其实他们并非真正的高智商 They weren't really that intelligent. 而是随机抽取的 They were randomly selected. 而实验的结果 The results of the experiment 便是学生在未来的学习成绩 Is the student's future academic performance 他们的确突飞猛进 And they did advance by leaps and bounds. 所以这就证明了 So this proves that 当你觉得自己很聪明的时候 When you think you are smart 你就会有信心去学习 You will have the confidence to learn 接着你的能力就会有所提高 Then your abilities will improve 但如果你永远都告诉自己很笨 But if you keep telling yourself you're stupid 很懒的时候 When very lazy 那么你永远都会缺乏动力跟信心 Then you will always lack motivation and confidence 所以当我意识到 So when I realized 曾经那个自卑的我 I used to have low self-esteem 不是我满意的状态 Not my satisfactory state 不是我理想中的自己 Not my ideal self 我深深的知道 I know deeply 我不想过将就的人生 I don't want to live my life 我不想要被 I don't want to be 这些自卑吞噬 These inferiority complexes devour 所以 So 大学毕业后 After graduating from college 我开始花大量的时间学习英文 I began to spend a lot of time studying English 毕业之际 On graduation 我就开始经营自己的YouTube I started my own YouTube. 踏入工作后 After entering the workforce 我又一边上班 I'm working again 一边学习心理学和市場行銷 While studying psychology and marketing 开始改变后的我 I started to change 收获了截然不同的人生 Harvested a completely different life 所以反而我要 So instead I want to 感谢我的自卑 Thank you for my low self-esteem. 感谢那些质疑的声音 Thank you for those questioning voices 感谢一切的挫折跟焦虑 Thank you for all the frustration and anxiety 因为只有不甘心的人 Because only those who are unwilling 才会继续向前走 will continue to move forward 只有当我开始 Only when I started 克服自卑 overcome inferiority complex 这就是超越自我的开始 This is the beginning of self-transcendence 阿德勒在书中说过 Adler says in the book 不要逞强让自己看起来很强 Don't try to make yourself look strong 而是努力让自己真正变得更强 It's about trying to make yourself really stronger 自信尚未萌芽之时 When self-confidence has not yet sprouted 需要成就感不断的支撑 They need a constant sense of accomplishment. 才能逐渐壮大 To grow 最终形成良性的循环 Eventually a virtuous circle is formed 拿得出手的真本事 Really capable 就是一个人行走世间 when you walking around the world 最大的底气 It is the greatest confidence 要试着找到自己的兴趣 Try to find your own interests 培养自己的专长 Develop your own expertise 循序渐进的提升难度 Gradually increase the difficulty 每做一件事 Everything I do 你的自信就会多一分 Your confidence will increase 人生就会进步一大截 Life will progress a lot 终有一天 One day 你会在不知不觉中 You will unknowingly 蜕变成最好的自己 will become the best version of yourself 第四个心态 The fourth mindset. 就是只改变自己 Just change yourself 想要先请问大家一个问题 I want to ask you a question first 现在在你人生中 Now in your life 你最想要改变的一件事情是什么 What is the one thing you most want to change? 也许是你的事业 Maybe your career 你现在可能想要辞职 You may want to quit your job now 又或者是你身边的伴侣 Or significant others around you 你想要改变他 You want to change him? 让他成为你理想中的那个完美 Let him be the perfect person for you 的另一半 The other half 又或者是你的家人 Or maybe your family 你想要你的家人更加的理解你 You want your family to understand you better 包容你 Tolerate you 那么问题就是 So here's the thing. 在你这个想象中的美好人生 The beautiful life in your imagination 你理想中的人生状态 Your ideal life situation 你需要做的是什么呢 What do you need to do? 我相信 I believe 绝大部分的人 The vast majority of people 包括曾经的我 Including who I used to be 其实想的一定是去改变别人 In fact, I must want to change others 我们可能会想要去改变我们的家人 We might want to change our family. 我们的另一半 Our other half 又或者是我们的上司 Or our boss 我们的老板 Our boss 但是事实上 But in fact 我们没有办法改变任何的他人 We can't change anyone else. 因为他人是属于 Because others belong to 在我们没有办法控制的范围内 Within our control 这是一个我们无法掌控的因素 This is a factor beyond our control. 而我们唯一可以掌控的事情 And the only thing we can control 就只有我们自己 Just us. 我们唯一能改变的 The only thing we can change 也只有我们自己而已 It's just us. 在这里 Here it is. 跟大家分享一个我的故事 I'd like to share with you a story of mine. 就可以更好的明白 You can better understand 在我初中毕业的时候 When I graduated from junior high school 我当时很不喜欢的一份工作 A job I really disliked at the time 就是在餐厅上班 Just work in a restaurant 因为我觉得非常非常的无聊 Because I find it very, very boring. 但是又被迫無奈 But forced to do nothing 我没有什么技能 I have no skills. 我也不知道该做什么 I didn't know what to do. 然后我的成绩也不是很好 And my grades weren't great either. 所以我能做的也只有在餐厅上班 So all I can do is work in a restaurant 后来我就发现 Then I found out 我真的很不喜欢 I really don't like it 当时的那个工作环境 The working environment at that time 我没有办法去热爱我当时的生活 I couldn't love my life at that time 包括我自己 Including myself 所以 So 如果过去的我 If the past me 永远都是选择去抱怨 Always choose to complain 我的经理不好 My manager is bad 抱怨我的工作环境 Complaining about my work environment 抱怨我为什么只能在这边上班 Complaining about why I can only work here 我没有一个有钱的父母养着我的话 I don't have a wealthy parent to support me 那么我现在还会在餐厅上班 Then I would still work in a restaurant 解决这个问题 Solve this problem 唯一的方法就只有一个 There is only one way 那就是改变我自己 And that was to change me. 我必须要让自己的能力更加强大 I have to make my abilities stronger 要让自己去学习更多的技能 Allow yourself to learn more skills 当有一天 When one day 我的经济能够独立的时候 When my economy can be independent 我就不需要 I don't need it. 再待在过去的那一个环境下 Stay in the same environment as before 所以在这个过程中 So in the process 我要做的 What I do. 就是放下那些我没有办法控制的事情 Is to let go of the things I can't control 是专注于认识和了解自己 It's about getting to know yourself. 发掘自己的特长 Discover your own strengths 更专注于自己的学习跟进步 Focus more on your own learning and follow-up steps 曾经的我 Once Me 就是不断的想要在别人身上索取认可 It's the constant desire to seek approval from others 还有被需要的感觉 And the feeling of being needed 但现在的我更确信的是 But now I'm even more convinced 我想要拥有怎样的人生 What kind of life do I want to have? 我想要怎样的人际关系 What kind of relationship do I want? 不是被动的等待别人给予 Not passively waiting for others to give 而是让自己先成为这样子的人 It's about letting yourself be that person first 因为人性的本质 Because of the nature of human nature 就是价值交换 It’s value exchange 也就是说 That is to say 在这个世界上没有无缘无故的爱 There is no love in this world for no reason 无论亲情爱情亦或者是友谊 Whether it is family love or friendship 我们都是不断的在进行价值交换 We are all constantly exchanging value 只有当我们对别人的付出 Only when we give to others 有意义和价值的时候 When it is meaningful and valuable 别人才会回报我们相对应的价值 Others will reward us with the corresponding value 这包括情绪价值 And that includes emotional value. 时间陪伴、支持 companionship, support. 信任等等 Trust, etc. 所以你想要怎样的关系 So what kind of relationship do you want? 首先你要先成为这样的人 First of all, you have to be like this. 在这里 Here it is. 简单的举两个例子来跟大家分享 And just to give you two quick examples. 第一个呢 What about the first one? 就是假如你现在 If you were now 想要追求一个更完美的伴侣 Trying to find a significant other 假设我现在想要一个非常温柔 Suppose I want a very gentle one now 大方的男朋友 Generous boyfriend 如果过往呢 What if it was? 可能我想的就是 Maybe what I was thinking was 我要怎么去改变我现在男朋友 How can I change my current boyfriend? 我要去要求我的男朋友 I'm going to ask my boyfriend 要成为我理想中的那个人 To become the person I dream of 我一心都是想着向外求 I'm all about asking 就是我要去改变别人 That I'm going to change others 来获得我想要的东西 To get what I want 但是事实上 But in fact 我想要找到怎么样的另外一半 I want to find out what kind of other half 我想要怎样的亲密关系 What kind of intimacy do I want? 那么我就先要成为这样子的人 Then I have to be like this first 就是大家可以去想象一下 It's just that you can imagine 如果我是一个脾气非常暴躁的人 If I were a very grumpy person 但是我又要要求我的另外一半 But I have to ask my other half 非常的温柔 Very gentle 这个时候 This time 即使真的被我找到了 Even if I did find it 一个温柔的另外一半 A gentle other half 但他也会因为我的暴躁而被吓跑 But he would also be scared away by my irritability 所以重点就是 So here's the thing. 如果你想要找到这样的人 If you want to find someone like that 你先要让自己成为这样的人 You have to make yourself that kind of person first 而这个时候你就会发现 And then you will find 你会吸引到你想要的人 You will attract the people you desire 因为你们两个人的磁场 Because of the magnetic field between the two of you 是相似的 are similar 第二个例子就是 Here's a second example. 假如你现在想要成为一个有钱人 If you want to become wealthy now 或者是你想要提高自己的薪水 Or maybe you want to increase your salary 你要做的绝对不是 What you have to do is definitely not to 去抱怨大环境 complain about the environment 而是专注于如何提升自己 Instead, focus on how to improve yourself 如何让自己的能力更强 How to make yourself more capable 如何为这个社会提供更多的价值 How can we provide more value to this society? 其实这个也是赚钱的本质 In fact, this is also the essence of making money 当你为这个社会 When you contribute to this society 可以提供更多的价值的时候 When it can provide more value 这也就意味着社会 This also means that society 他会回馈更多给你 And that means society will give you more back. 那这个回报就是金钱 Then the reward is money 《奈瓦尔宝典》这本书中有提到的 It is mentioned in the book "The Book of Nevar" 想要赚更多的金钱 Want to make more money 就需要为世界做出更多的贡献 They need to contribute more to the world 而这一切 And all this 都需要付出大量的时间跟精力 Requires a lot of time and effort 所以不要再将过多的精力 So don't put too much energy into it 放在讨好他人 Stop focusing too much on pleasing others 或是研究别人的看法跟意见 Or study the opinions and opinions of others 而是将精力放在自己的热情所在 It's about what you're passionate about. 然后全力以赴 Then go all out 学会享受 Learn to Enjoy 利用独处的时间回归自我 Take advantage of the time alone to return to yourself 这才是解决生活一切问题的根源 This is the root of all the problems in life 在成为自己的这件事上 In the matter of being yourself 没有人比得过你 No one can compare to you 其实人生大部分的时间都是在寻找 In fact, most of my life is spent searching for 寻找那些最需要你的人 Look for those who need you the most 寻找那些最需要你的事情 Look for the things that need you the most 真正聪明的人从不走捷径 The truly intelligent never take shortcuts 人生就是选择正确的方向 Life is about choosing the right direction 然后朝着这个方向奋力向进 Then push forward in this direction 最后一个心态 Last Mindset 那就是找回你的自由 It's about getting your freedom back. 在我们成长的过程中 As we grow up 由于周遭对我们的影响 Due to the influence of our surroundings on us 实在太大了 is too much 所以很多时候我们会忘记一件事情 So a lot of times we forget one thing 那就是我们是拥有自由的 That we are free 因为自由 Because of freedom 我们可以去追寻我们想要的人生 We can pursue the life we want 因为自由 Because of freedom 我们是自己人生的创造者 We are the creators of our own lives 因为自由 Because of freedom 我们可以勇敢的做自己 We can be brave enough to be ourselves 在这里想要跟大家分享 I would like to share with you here 哲学家萨特所提到的一个理论 One theory mentioned by the philosopher Sartre 万物被创造出来都有它存在的目的 Everything was created for a purpose. 剪刀是用来剪东西的 Scissors are used to cut things 电视是用来娱乐的 Television is for entertainment 水壶是用来喝水的 Kettles are for drinking water 但是人类被创造出来 But humans were created 没有特定的目的跟作用 No specific purpose or function 只是我们过往被灌输的 It's just what we've been taught in the past 人生标准答案 Standard answer to life 让我们一直认为结婚 Let's always think of marriage 生子、退休、养老 Having children, retirement, old age care 这就是这个世界的游戏规则 These are the rules of the game in this world 但同时也不难发现 But it's not hard to find 在这个世界上 In this world 有很多人都活出了不一样版本的自己 There are many people who have lived a different version of themselves 活出真正的自己 Live your true self 你可以成为一个老师 You can become a teacher 也可以成为画家 You can also become a painter 歌手、演员 singer, actor 因为你的人生是没有限制的 Because your life is limitless 限制你的永远都只有 What limits you is always only 你自己而已 Just yourself 这也是为什么即使曾经的我 That's why even though I used to be 一切都非常的普通 Everything is very ordinary 没有特别好的成绩 No particularly good grades 并且也不出众 And not out of the ordinary. 也不是很有钱 Not very rich 但我也可以改变我自己 But I can also change myself 就是因为我意识到我是自由的 It was because I realized that I was free 我可以去决定自己想要怎样的人生 I can decide what kind of life I want 虽然我成绩不好 Although my grades are not good 但是我可以一边上班 But I can work at the same time. 一边学习进修自己 You're learning. You're learning. 虽然我的体质很差 Although my physique is poor 但是我可以通过运动 But I can exercise 改变我的精神状态 Change my mental state 虽然我曾经长胖 Although I used to gain weight 但是我可以通过控制饮食 But I can control my diet 改变身形跟健康 Changing body shape and health 虽然曾经的我自卑焦虑 Although I used to have low self-esteem and anxiety 但是我可以选择 But I can choose 不要再去介意别人的眼光 Stop caring about the eyes of others 选择去做自己 Choose to be yourself 我可以活出我想要的人生 I can live the life I want 而人生就是不断的在做选择 And life is about constantly making choices 如果你选择了懒惰 If you choose to be lazy 那就接受平庸 Then accept mediocrity 如果选择了放弃 If you choose to give up 那就接受失败 Then accept failure 而每一个人都有自己人生的选择 And everyone has their own life choices 只要你能够意识到 As long as you can realize 任何事情都有利有弊 There are pros and cons to everything. 这也就是说 This means that 当我选择了继续打工上班 When I decided to continue working 我不要去创业的话 If I don't want to start a business 那么我收获的就是经济上的安全感 And what I gained was financial security. 因为我有一份非常稳定的收入 Because I have a very stable income 但是同时我要面临的就是 But at the same time I have to face 时间上可能并没有那么的自由 Time may not be so free 但如果我选择的是自己创业 But if I choose to start my own business 然后想要财富自由 Then want wealth freedom 那么我就必须要 Then I have to 付出更多的时间去学习 Spend more time studying 让自己不断的成长 Let yourself continue to grow 让自己想更多的方法 Let yourself think of more ways 可以在创业的这条道路上成功 You can succeed on this path of entrepreneurship 重点就是在于 Here's the thing. 你选择了怎样的人生 What kind of life have you chosen 那就接受它 Then accept it. 千万不要有那种 Never have that 既要又要的心态 want-and-want mentality. 而是学会坦然的接受 It's learning to accept it. 现在自己的选择而带来的后果 The consequences of your choices now 并且有一个非常 And there is a very 重要的一点就是 The important point is that 在这个旅途上 On this journey 你唯一要对比的就只有你自己 The only person you have to compare to is yourself 不要拿别人的价值观 Don't take others' values for granted 还有衡量标准放在你自己的身上 And measure it against yourself. 而是学会问自己的内心 It's about asking questions inside yourself. 我究竟想要怎样的人生 What kind of life do I really want? 我满意现在的人生吗 Am I satisfied with my current life? 我过得开心吗 Am I having a good time? 然后根据自己的答案 Then according to your own answer 追求自己想要的人生 Pursue the life you want 在这个最后呢 At the end of this 我想要跟大家分享一个故事 I want to tell you a story. 从前有一个厨师 Once upon a time, there was a chef 他非常喜欢煮菜 He likes cooking very much. 他很享受烹饪的过程 He really enjoyed the cooking. 但是他并不喜欢算账 But he didn't like to settle accounts. 不喜欢经营店铺 I don't like running a store. 不喜欢面对客人 I don't like to face guests 这个时候突然有个 Suddenly there was a 商人走过来问他 The businessman came over and asked him 你这样子做厨师 You are a chef like this 做一辈子能赚多少钱啊 How much money can you make doing this for a lifetime? 还不如自己去开个店 You might as well open a store yourself 自己当老板 Be your own boss 这个时候厨师开始动摇了 This is when the chef starts to waver 他的内心 His heart 产生了自卑跟焦虑感 There was a sense of inferiority and anxiety in him 后来他就真的辞职去开了一家店 Then he really quit his job and opened a store 但是渐渐的他发现 But gradually he found that 他实在没有办法接受去面对客人 He really couldn't accept facing the guests 也不喜欢处理太多的杂物 I also don't like to deal with too much clutter. 他只想专心的做好厨师 He just wants to focus on being a good cook 所以他根本就没有心思放在开店上 So he didn't have the heart to open the store at all 这个举动反而让他的生活变得一团糟 This move actually made his life a mess 所以我想要通过这个故事跟你分享 So I want to share this story with you. 重要的从来都不是别人告诉你什么 What matters is never what others tell you 而是来自你内心的声音 It's something inside you. 你想要成为怎样的人 What kind of person do you want to be? 你想要度过怎样的人生 What kind of life do you want to live? 最后想要分享一段 Finally, I would like to share a paragraph 沙特的话送给你 from Saudi Arabia for you 你是自由的 You are free. 所以你自己选择吧 So you choose. 唯一要谨记的就是 The only thing to keep in mind is 你要为自己自由的选择 You have to choose freely for yourself 负上随之而来的责任 Take on the responsibilities that come with it 这是人拥有自由的必然要求 This is an inevitable requirement for human freedom 人生在世 Life is alive 只能不断的选择 Just keep choosing 甚至被迫进行自由选择 Even forced to choose freely 即使你不选择 Even if you don't choose 也是一种选择 That's an option. 也就是你选择了不选择 That is, you chose not to choose 如果一定要说人有什么本质 If you must say what is the essence of human beings 那本质就只能是绝对自由 The essence can only be absolute freedom 除此之外 In addition to that 别无其他 Nothing else.